DISCLAIMER: Murder in Suburbia and its characters are the property of ITV. No infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

8 Simple Rules for Sex & Dating
By Geonn


1. No cutesy nicknames

Sullivan was adamant; she couldn't work alone. The new DS followed him into the bullpen. "Kate Ashurst," Sullivan said. "Meet Emma Scribbins."

"Nice to meet you," the new detective said. Kate was unimpressed and looked back down at her paperwork. Emma took her seat and scooted forward. "So. Does anyone ever call you Ash?"




"Well, nicknames can be fun, you know..."

Kate finally looked up. "DS Scribbins. We will not now, nor will we ever, resort to nicknames. I will refer to you as Scribbins or, if it turns out I like you, Emma. Have I made myself understood?"

"Understood, boss."

Kate nodded and went back to the paperwork.

"It's just you look like an Ash."

Kate dropped her pen. "Fine. How would you like it if I called you... I don't know. Bins. Or Scribbs."

Emma brightened. "Oh, I kind of like Scribbs. Ash and Scribbs. And together, they fight crime!" She grinned brightly.

"You would," Kate muttered. She picked up her pen and went back to work. She gave this 'Scribbs' two weeks, tops, before they were both begging for reassignment.


2. Absolutely no fraternization outside of work
(Six months after becoming partners)



"Come on, Ash. We've been working since midnight for days. Give that brain of yours a rest. Come on, let's go out. Have some fun!"

Ash leaned back and stared at her desktop. It was true, they had been burning the midnight oil every day that week. "Fine," she said as she pushed away from the table. "One drink."

"I knew I could count on you," Scribbs said as she handed Ash her coat.


3. Never, ever kiss on the first date

Ash told herself it wasn't really breaking the rule, since they weren't actually on a date. They were just out for an after-duty drink, that's all, a celebratory beer in honor of nailing this week's asshole murderer. And Scribbs, it was no secret, got a bit... touchy-feely when she had had a few. So it wasn't a date, and it almost wasn't a kiss. Just a drunken grope in the front seat of the car, ill-advised and quickly ended before they had gone too far.

Ash had thought about it all the way home, though.

She wondered if she should have kissed back.

4. Always let the other person make the first move

The first time, Scribbs had kissed her. They had both been a little tipsy, and they had both expressed amusement at the fact it had happened. Never talk about it, they agreed. Just something that had happened. But when Ash finally decided she wanted it to happen again, suddenly Scribbs was being all business. No flirty smiles, no hogwash trips to the singles bar to 'get Ash a man,' no anything but business. Murders, alibis, suspects.

Two weeks after the kiss, Ash had decided that she would let Scribbs kiss her if she tried again.

Three weeks after the kiss, Ash wondered if she should bring it up, let Scribbs know she would be responsive.

A month after the kiss, Ash felt like it was time to take matters into her own hands. They left the office together and Scribbs suggested a sushi restaurant for dinner, that is if Ash wanted to have dinner with her. "So?" Scribbs said, "What do you say? Got plans?"

The only plan Ash had in mind suddenly came into play. She turned, pushed Scribbs against the wall and kissed her hard. Scribbs' eyes went wide, her hands held out and up as if she were surrendering. When they parted, Ash gasped and wiped at her mouth. She was stunned, shocked she had actually just done that. In the police station hallway no less. What the hell had she been thinking? What could...

Scribbs slammed into Ash, pushing her to the opposite wall. This time, Ash was the one stunned, arms up, helplessly pinned to the wall as she was assaulted. Scribbs finally pulled back to give her some air and they migrated back to the middle of the hallway. They looked around, hoping no one had wandered out and spotted their moment, and then looked at each other.

Scribbs, mostly unphased by the kisses, raised her eyebrows. "Well? You got plans or what?"


5. Sex is for the bedroom.

They scrambled with the front door lock and Ash tossed her stuff down as she turned to face Scribbs again. They kissed as they spun in a slow circle through the living room. Ash felt the couch against her back and moaned. "Bedroom..."

"Can't wait," Scribbs moaned. She fought the belt of Ash's coat, shoved the two halves aside and went to work on her belt buckle.

"Wait! Scribbs, it's like five yards aw..."

The belt came undone. Scribbs popped the button of her trousers and shoved her hand inside. Ash's eyes went wide and her jaw hung slack. "Scribbs...! Oh, my..." Her eyes rolled back in her head and she slid her feet apart to give Scribbs more room. Scribbs bent down, kissed Ash's neck and stroked her middle and ring fingers over the material of Ash's panties.


6. Cursing during sex is tacky. Avoid at all costs.

"Fuck, Scribbs!" Ash moaned.

Scribbs pressed against Ash, Ash's trousers now down to mid-thigh. She used her hips, pushing Ash's panties aside as she pressed her fingertips against the swollen, pink flesh. Ash trembled and clung to Scribbs' shoulders. "You like that, yeah?" she whispered against Ash's throat.

"Ung, Scribbs," Ash moaned. She shuddered and dug her fingernails into Scribbs' shoulders. She was sure she would see marks there if they ever bothered to get undressed. She moved her hand to Scribbs' wrist and forced her to move faster. If she had to get fucked standing up, fully-dressed, in the living room, by her partner, she was going to make it quick.

"Now, now, DI Ashurst," Scribbs whispered. "Slow and steady wins the..."

"Fuck slow and steady!" Ash hissed. "Make me come, Emma!"

Scribbs moaned and pressed tight against Ash's body. She trembled and she said, "Ooh, you're going to make me come with that potty mouth of yours, Kate..."

Ash groaned and gripped Scribbs' wrist hard.


7. Stay composed. Sex is great, but there's no reason to be... animal about it

Ash rolled her head back on her shoulders and growled low in her throat. She tightened her thighs around Scribbs' hand as she came. Her legs shook, and she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth as she regained feeling below her waist. She looked into Scribbs' deep brown eyes, saw that superior little smirk on her face, and decided it was time to turn the tables.

She released Scribbs' hand and pushed away from the couch. She kicked off her shoes, dropped her pants and underwear. The tails of her shirt kept her decent as she grabbed Scribbs and tumbled to the floor with her. Scribbs spread her legs and planted her feet far apart, tenting her knees on either side of Ash's body.

Ash kissed Scribbs' breasts through her shirt, ran her hands underneath to touch her bare stomach. She found the clasp of Scribbs' trousers, unhooked it and shoved the material down out of her way. She was pleased to find Scribbs was nice and wet, ready for her. She pressed her face against her, the downy, wet blonde hair between her legs smelling distinctly... well, like sex. She extended her tongue and Scribbs cried out.

Ash slid her hands up under Scribbs' shirt, cupped her breasts and pressed the flat of her tongue against Scribbs' clit.

"Oh! Ash... hurst!" Her lower body lifted off the floor and Ash had to change position to keep from losing contact with her. Her lips tight against Scribbs' body, Ash moaned as Scribbs clenched around her tongue. She tasted Scribbs' juices and her eyes drifted shut. Oh. Heavenly, she thought as she eased Scribbs back down to the floor.

She slithered up Scribbs' body and they kissed lightly, lazily, sleepily. Scribbs reached up, undid Ash's hair and let it fall like a wave over her face. It covered Ash's eyes and Scribbs smiled. She looked down at them, both still wearing their blouses, and said, "I will get to see your breasts eventually, yeah?"

Ash grinned. "Play your cards right."


8. Absolutely no sleepovers. Ever.

Ash pulled back the comforter and watched as Scribbs walked around to the other side. They climbed under the covers together, Ash back to being uncertain and awkward in her nakedness. Scribbs fluffed up her pillow, lay on her side and looked up at Ash, who was still sitting up next to her. "Well? You coming to bed or what?"

"I am," Ash said. "It's just... first, I have a few rules..."

Scribbs' grin widened. "Kate... come on. How many rules have you broken for me since we became partners?"

Ash hesitated. She thought about it and realized, when it came to Scribbs, her carefully-planned and memorized rules were pretty much useless. She lay down and settled in, trying not to squirm when Scribbs threw an arm across her midsection. She swallowed, took Scribbs' wrist and brought her hand up to her breast. Scribbs pinched the nipple and Ash barely contained a whimper of pleasure.

In the grand scheme of things, she supposed, there were worse things than stray limbs...

The End

Return to Murder in Suburbia Fiction

Return to Main Page