DISCLAIMER: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are
property of NBC and Dick Wolf.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first SVU fanfic and also slash fanfic pertaining to a pre-existing TV show. I hope you enjoy it. All feedback, bar flames, is welcome.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
A Little Space
"I thought you said you wanted space?"
"I was wrong."
"Are you sure?" Olivia asked. "I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable."
"Liv, I've had space, I don't like it." Alex replied.
Olivia felt hopeful but didn't want to show it. She had been going out of her mind trying to stay away from Alex, trying not to think about Alex, trying to get Elliot to do all the legal work to avoid Alex in any shape or form. She had finally convinced herself that 'I must stay away from Alex.'/'I must not think about Alex.' really wasn't thinking about Alex.
Alex didn't have an option seeing Olivia today, though. Olivia had to testify at the Myers trial. Olivia was scheduled to go in at 1:05pm after a 1pm start, so Alex suggested that they go through the questions over lunch. Alex had missed Olivia during the last week.
********7 days, 13 hours and 7 minutes ago********
Olivia stretched and yawned. She let her arm fall across the back of Alex's seat. Alex smiled but continued to watch the movie on the screen before them. They had been doing this dance for months; hanging out together nearly every day, sing each other for pillows, holding hands, all the while pretending that none of it meant anything.
Olivia knew she liked Alex. She hid it around others but showed it a little less subtly when alone. Alex knew how Olivia felt about her, it was quite obvious. Alex felt an extreme attraction to Olivia, but dismissed it as close friendship. Olivia, unaware of Alex's dismissal of feelings, read all the signs that Alex felt the same, but was just being cautious, or the like.
After another movie Alex leant on Olivia as she usually did. The difference this time was that Olivia rested her head on Alex's and put her other arm around her. Alex's body first relaxed at being held by Olivia, but as soon as she realized the position they were in and what was happening she stiffened and sat up.
"What was that?" Alex asked.
"What?" Olivia looked around the room.
"No. I mean you, what was that?"
"Oh Ummm, I was holding you."
"I'm aware of that. Why?"
Olivia was confused. "Because I wanted to?"
Alex looked into Olivia's eyes, trying to deal with the conflictions inside of her. She couldn't decide whether to kiss her or walk out.
"Alex, are you ok?"
"No, I'm not." Alex got up and grabbed her things. "I need some space."
Olivia had only seen Alex in passing since then. She had got her summons through the mail and had not, till 20 minutes ago, known what questions she'd be asked, although she had a fair idea.
"I'm sorry about how I reacted. It wasn't even my first reaction! The first thing I did was relax into your touch." Alex tried to explain.
"I know. I felt you."
"And then I realized that I was more relaxed then I had been for as long as I could remember, and it scared me to be that relaxed, and that you were the one who made me relaxed, and I was just so scared that I panicked and ran away." Alex stopped so she could finally take in some air.
"Breathe girl!" Olivia ordered.
"I am!" Alex claimed, coughing. They both started laughing at the awkwardness of their situation. Neither knew what to do or say now.
Fortunately a waiter appeared beside them, "Do you want anything else?"
"No, thanks." Olivia and Alex said at the same time, which sent them laughing again.
"Detective Benson, what was the defendant doing when you entered his residence to arrest him?" ADA Alex Cabot asked.
"Mr. Myers was involved in a sexual act with a minor." Detective Olivia Benson answered.
"The girl was only 14." The jury cringed.
Fin, Munch, Elliot, Olivia and Alex sat at the bar on stools. Everyone was drinking beer except Alex who was drinking water, mainly because she was due back in court tomorrow and because she had to drive Olivia home.
Olivia and Alex had met the boys here after the court adjourned. Olivia had stayed there to talk to Alex but let the window of opportunity slip by during the car ride over. Olivia decided not to have more than two beers because she was afraid that she'd push the issue with Alex and lose her forever. Plus, she wanted to be sober enough on the way home to talk.
"How longer will the trial go for?" Elliot asked Alex.
"Just closing statements tomorrow and that's it. From the looks of it, the jury will be back before tea."
"Finally someone to see through Mr. Myers charming exterior and see him for the dirt bag he is!" Munch commented.
"Night guys." Alex waved.
"See you tomorrow!" Olivia followed Alex down the sidewalk to her car.
"Do you really thing the jury will be in that quick?"
"Absolutely! You showed him for the scum he truly is!"
"Nah, I was just telling them what I saw."
"It was the way you said it."
"Really?" Olivia wasn't used to compliments on how she said things.
"Really." Alex believed it, but was also trying to make up for shutting Olivia out because she was afraid. It wasn't fair and she was sorry. She still was afraid, but she decided that Olivia meant too much to her to just let slip by.
"I'm glad I could help." And she was.
The drive to Olivia's apartment was silent as, once again, they were both trying to figure out the best thing to say. Each possibility was dismissed as stupid or just plain desperate. When they finally got there Alex walked Olivia up to the door.
"I'm probably going to regret asking this, but do you want to come in for a bit?" Olivia cringed in anticipation of rejection.
"I'd love to, but I can't. Closing statements at 9 sharp." Alex really did want to go in, but knew that if she did she wouldn't want to leave.
"It's ok, I understand." It wasn't as bad as Olivia feared. "Goodnight Alex."
"Night Liv." Alex stepped forward and hugged Olivia.
If Olivia hadn't been in Alex's arms she would have jumped for joy. She didn't know if anything would happen between them, but she knew things would be ok, that they'd still be friends.
Alex stepped back and walked down the hall, her stride a little lighter. She paused at the elevator door and looked back at Olivia, still standing in the doorway.
"Movie night at my place tomorrow, 7 o'clock. Bring spare clothes, you're staying the night." Alex grinned as Olivia's jaw dropped. She blew a kiss to her gob smacked Detective and stepped into the elevator.
Sequel A Little Less Space
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