DISCLAIMER: The Facts of Life and its characters are the property of Columbia Pictures Television and Sony Pictures Television, no infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
An Acquired Taste
By trancer
The ringing was loud, incessant and seemed to go on forever. Jo flailed about with her arm, rolling over in her bed and grabbing clumsily with her hand.
"Nnn-llo?"
"Jo," Blair's frantic voice blurted into her ear. "I need you!"
"What time is it?"
"It's 5 o'clock in the afternoon," Blair gasped incredulously. "You're asleep?"
"I was. What day is it?"
"It's Saturday."
"Which means it's my day off. Goodbye, Blair." Jo unceremoniously slammed the phone down, rolling back over and pulling the blanket over her head. Seconds later, the phone began ringing again. "WHAT!?!"
"I'm serious, Jo. I need you. At Edna's. NOW!"
"Fine, then say please."
"What?"
"You heard me. Because the next time I hang up this phone, I'm taking the jack out of the wall, and leaving it that way. So, if you want my help, I wanna hear please."
"Oh, all right," Blair huffed. "Jo, would you please come to Edna's Edibles?"
"That's better. I'll be there in twenty minutes."
The kitchen of Edna's Edibles looked like a nuclear bomb had been set off. Pots, cookie trays, cake pans littered every open space available, including the floor. Open bags of flour spilled their contents onto the floor, turning the linoleum into a white desert landscape.
"What the Hell happened?"
Blair squeaked. Popping up from behind a counter like a frightened jack-o-lantern. Her face smeared and dusted with flour, hair pulled back in a hastily gathered bun, wavy strands drooping over her face. She rushed towards Jo, wrapping her arms around the woman.
"Oh thank God, you're here," she pulled out of the embrace. "And why the Hell were you asleep at 5 o'clock on a Saturday?"
"I had a late night," Jo grumbled. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"
"Oh, it's awful," Blair sobbed dramatically. "Edna put me in charge of this party for tomorrow. And everything was going fine, except for the pastries. She'd told me to special order them from some company or something. And I did. Except, I told them I wanted twelve dozen assorted and chocolate-covered pastries." She grabbed a box from the counter, held it in front of her as if it were radioactive, head turned distastefully. "And they gave me this!"
Jo leaned forward, tentatively opened the box. Her eyebrows lifted, lips curling into a smirk. "Those are chocolate covered.."
"I know!" Blair snapped the lid closed. "It gets worse. I have puff pastry breasts, and cream-filled butts, and I don't even know HOW to describe what's in that box over there. And..stop laughing."
"C'mon, you have to admit, chocolate-covered.."
"Don't say it."
"Well, it is an acquired taste," Jo slid her hand into the closed box, pulling out one of the pastries. Eyes glued onto Blair's, she began sliding her tongue all over the surface while moaning lasciviously.
"That's..that's," Blair stammered. Cheeks suddenly flaring with a deep shade of pink.
"Tasty," Jo added. "The key is, you gotta get it nice and wet. Really work it with your tongue before you eat it." She popped it into her mouth. Eyes closing languidly, the moaning increasing before she finally swallowed. "I'm telling you, Blair, you really oughta try it."
"Like you said, it's an acquired taste," she rubbed suddenly sweaty palms onto her apron. Unable to take her eyes away from Jo's fingers. Fingers that were, at the moment, being sloppily licked clean. "Are you going to help me or not?"
"Fine," Jo rolled her eyes. "Where should we start?"
"Well, you can start by getting rid of THAT."
"I can do that."
"You're not going to eat all of them, are you?"
"Why? You have something better I can put my lips on?"
"You're," she huffed, folding her arms across her chest. "Incorrigible!"
"True, but you haven't even seen what I can do with butt-shaped éclairs. C'mon, just try one."
"I have no intention of eating genitalia," Blair rolled her eyes. "Chocolate covered or otherwise."
"No wonder you're still single."
"Take that back," Blair stepped into Jo's space.
"No!" And Jo closed what little distance remained.
"I wanted your help," she wagged an angry finger in Jo's face. "Not crudely colored commentary on my sex life."
"Yeah, well, you can't want one and not expect the other."
"Is that what you want? To mercilessly tease me in my time of need."
"No!"
"Then what the Hell do you want from me, Jo?"
Jo whipped her hands out, grasping Blair by the jaw. Crashed their lips together. She expected to be pushed away, to be slapped, or punched or called every name in the book. What she didn't expect was the tongue hurriedly jammed into her mouth, or the arms that wrapped around her waist, hands grabbing her jacket and pulling tighter.
They pulled apart, just enough to catch their collective breaths, panting into the other's mouth.
"You're right," Blair stammered. "Those chocolate covered thingees do taste good."
"You taste better."
"Well," Blair grinned cockily. "I am an acquired taste."
"Oh yeah?" Jo smiled, leaning in for another taste. "So am I."
The End