DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to David Shore. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'd like to apologize in advance to: lesbians, gay people in general, fat people, butchs, Jews, the porn industry, cripples, physically disabled people, 'ordinary' people, geniuses, doctors, nurses, Jimmy Choo, republicans, kids, Joan Jett, Carmen Electra, The L Word, whoever created the character of Bette Porter, blow-up dolls, people who like classical music, pianists, the red Prada pump, pimply jerks at the counter in video stores, Santa Clause, Elves, 29 year old women with conversion disorder, CGD patients, husbands with headache-faking wives, wives who fake headaches, sugar addicted kids, the kindergarten, addicts with withdrawals, addicts, Nicolette Sheridan (I abused FYI but she did it first), voyeurs, people who like to film their sex, people with pierced nipples, guys who (would) like having threesomes with lesbians and to everyone with the name Liiiisa. Thank you.
CHALLENGE: Written for Passion & Perfection's Big 5000.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Admit It!
By Major Roon


A Theory

House watched the scene through the glass walls of his office with a hint of interest. Cameron wanting to have something signed, Cuddy having to sign it; nothing that was worth a glance but House liked to watch people.

Cameron shifted uneasily at some point, nothing unusual still, she did that a lot. Then the young woman inched closer to the Dean and pointed at something on the sheet of paper the two were looking at.

Boring, House thought to himself, looking down at his own paperwork.

Even more boring, he thought next, concentrating on the women again.

Cuddy read with her eyebrows drawn together. For a moment he considered telling her that she should be careful, that her face might stay that way or that she would get wrinkles; no, he corrected himself, more wrinkles. But somehow getting up and walking over there seemed to be just too much effort just to annoy his boss.

His eyes drifted to Cameron. He scanned her with House-like efficiency and stopped at her face. Cameron seemed to watch Cuddy intently. Her eyes were fixed on the Dean's face, on her lips as they moved while Cuddy read, on the blue eyes, on her hands even as the dark-haired woman signed the paper.

House lifted an eyebrow as Cameron said 'Thanks'. He didn't hear anything but he knew that her voice was just overly chipper right now; the smile on her face told him so.

Cuddy on the other hand seemed cool, as always. She gave the young doctor a half-hearted smile, a nod and then left. Cameron stared after her, just for a tiny moment then she slumped down on a chair, sighed and shook her head; definitely annoyed with herself, thought House.

Hmmm. Interesting…


'Beep, beep, beep, beep!' House declared noisily while walking up to Cameron, who was still sitting on the chair and was now working on her laptop.

'What's that supposed to mean?' She asked slightly annoyed already.

'Snippy, aren't we?' He retorted. 'And that was my gay-dar, FYI.'

Cameron sighed, now definitely annoyed and glared at him which wasn't having any effect at all. 'Since when do you say 'FYI'? And FYI, you're not gay ergo no gay-dar.'

'Oh, so you have gay-dar and can tell that I'm not gay, right?'

'House…what's the point you're trying to make?'

He leaned on his cane like always, acting like he was thinking hard then stared Cameron down the way he was always doing it. 'Oh, the 'gay-dar' I'm not having just picked up some very un-Cameron-like signals, aimed at the Dean of Medicine herself, now isn't that juicy?'

'House…' Allison warned impatiently, wanting to get away from all this as fast as possible.

'You're not going to deny it? Admit it, you have the hots for Cuddy!' He snickered amused.

'No!' Cameron got up in an instant; this was just too much.

'So, you're not going to deny it?'

'No! House…I'm going to deny it and no I do not have the hots for Dr. Cuddy, now could you just drop it?'

'I know you, Cameron…' Before he could even finish the sentence Allison moved past him, cutting him off rudely in the process. 'You don't know me as well as you might like…' With that she was out the door and marching down the corridor.

House sighed to himself and thought that everybody lied. Even Cameron. She just lied now, maybe even to herself. But one thing was true: if she really had the hots for Cuddy, House didn't really know her as well as he thought…


House was just finishing his clinic duty, at least that was what he thought, because he had treated enough 'ill' patients for his liking and was just about to make that same point clear to Cuddy, when he saw her walking out of her office.

'I just told a husband that his wife is faking her head-aches because she doesn't want to sleep with him, now can I go home?' The Dean rolled her eyes, taking a deep breath to retort something but was interrupted.

'Dr. Cuddy.' Allison Cameron hurried over to them with maximum speed, almost running. House just smirked to himself, knowing that Cameron had seen him standing here with Cuddy and she certainly thought that he was telling her about the hots-thingy.

'We were just talking about a patient of mine. A woman is denying her true feelings and that's making her sick…what do you say, Dr. Cameron?'

Cuddy saw the young doctor staring at House blankly and so she decided to jump in. 'Didn't you just say she was faking it?'

'Yeah, but still, denial is an unhealthy thing…now excuse me, ladies, I'm going home…'

While Cuddy argued with House, Cameron took some deep breaths. She was clearly not living in denial about her feelings because they were nonexistent. But if House told the Dean of Medicine, the boss, that she had the hots for her, life would get so much more complicated. Besides, she was already nervous enough around Cuddy and looking like a complete idiot wouldn't help matters at all.

'Dr. Cameron…you wanted something?' Allison's head shot up to meet impatient blue eyes and a smirking House.

'Uh…yeah. I need…uh you to sign those. The patient wants to be discharged. I know, tomorrow because it's late but you're still here and he's also your patient…could you?' Cuddy lifted both eyebrows in slight irritation then looked down at the paperwork.

Cameron just thought that this was all House's fault. His stupid accusations made her even more nervous. Now she was concerned that she was acting strange, that she was 'aiming un-Cameron-like signals at Cuddy. House must've gotten it from somewhere or not? He made it up, Allison berated herself, he made it up to annoy me or play one of his games.

'Alright. He can go…' Lisa signed and handed the forms back to Allison. 'And House, wipe that smirk off your face!'

'Isn't a man allowed to smirk whenever he wants to?' House retorted.

'Whatever you're up to, forget it!' Cuddy sidestepped him then turned with a pleasant smile on her face. 'Dr. Cameron…' She said still smiling then glared at the man next to her. 'House…' With another roll of her eyes she was gone.

Allison watched her for a second then turned her angry stare at House. 'Just stop it!'

Her boss tried to look innocent but somehow no one bought that expression anymore. 'Alright, I'll stop…if you admit it!'



The next day Cameron was still dwelling over House's words.

How dare he…

And how did he come up with this anyway? Sure he had made his nasty little comments about her and Cuddy being his fantasy but going so far and accusing her of lusting after the Dean of Medicine was just insane. Besides, it wasn't even 'juicy' enough.

House would have made comments about them having hot sex or doing it god knows where around the hospital but this wasn't at all like one of his games.

Sure, he was playing, he was always playing but this wasn't his style.

'Cameron…helloooo?' Allison fixed her eyes on Foreman. He waved a folder in front of her eyes, trying to get her attention.

'Sorry, spaced out…'

Foreman lifted his eyebrows. 'Yeah…into another universe…House wants you to bring this to Cuddy.'

He shoved the folder into her hands and turned to leave as fast as he could because over the past few years he had spent working with House, he knew when something was up. Right now something was definitely up.

Just a few seconds later he heard Cameron's angry voice. 'House!' Oh yeah, the game was on.

Big Fat Liar

Allison stormed into her boss's office, holding the folder out to him. 'What's this?'

'Hmm…it smells like my monthly report, it looks like my monthly report, it is my monthly report.' He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

'I can see that, thank you. But why did you write it? You never write it yourself, you always want me to do it, you even got Chase to write it once!'

'Because?' He answered lamely while Cameron rolled her eyes and huffed. 'I can't believe you'd write a report just to get me to give it Dr. Cuddy personally!'

House leaned back in his chair and grinned. 'You just have to admit it and I'll…send Foreman down…'

'I won't admit anything, because there's nothing to admit!'

'Big fat liar!'

This was just too much, Cameron thought. And it was stupid, just so stupid, why didn't he just stop?!

'Yeah, right, people lie but sometimes they tell the truth and I am!'

There was a pause for a few seconds in which Cameron stared at him, waiting. House just narrowed his eyes then he got up and walked around her. 'I believe you. I believe that you believe in what you say…but that doesn't make it true…you know to whom people lie the most?'

Allison rolled her eyes; she did that a lot these days. Of course she didn't want to ask but what choice did she have and so she shrugged, signaling House to continue.

'To themselves…' With that he opened the door to his office and hobbled out and yelled before the doors closed. 'Don't forget the report!'

Paper Stuff

Lisa Cuddy heard a hesitant knock on her office door. 'Come in…' She said absent-mindedly, preoccupied with reading some forms she had to fill out. Sometimes she thought that this was all she did nowadays; filling out forms, signing stuff, bossing people around.

'Dr. Cuddy…' She had almost forgotten that she just gave someone permission to enter her office. 'The monthly departmental report.' Cameron said slowly, holding out the folder to her boss's boss.

'Um…thanks…' Cuddy replied a bit irritated. 'Isn't it enough that he lets you write them and now he wants you to deliver them personally?'

Allison shook her head and sighed, fidgeting with her hands, which got the Dean of Medicine suspicious once again. 'He…wrote it himself.'

'Wow, that's new.' Lisa closed the folder carefully then studied the young doctor before her. 'What is he up to this time?'

Cameron shrugged innocently; people still bought that and shook her head. 'Oh…he's just being his usual annoying self.'

For a while Cuddy studied the young woman; today she felt compassionate. 'Allison…don't let House get to you, alright?'

Cameron smiled shyly and suddenly she asked herself why she was shy now. She usually wasn't shy, just a bit nervous around Cuddy because she was the boss but shy? House, I'm going to kill you!

'Don't worry…you know…he's just…' Allison wished in that moment she would ramble instead of trying to find the right words for just one simple sentence.

'Annoying?' Cuddy threw in, not getting this at all, not getting Cameron at all; something was up.

'Uh, yeah. Well…I gotta go…um…bye.' When she was out the door Cameron sighed one of her biggest sighs since she had worked at PPTH and shook her head. Why couldn't she behave like a normal human being around that woman? This was getting ridiculous.

The Prude

House on the other hand enjoyed himself greatly and of course he had to share that.

'Did you tell her that I wrote it all by myself?' He queried, playing schoolboy.

'Shut up…I'm not going to listen to you anymore!' Cameron wanted to flee into the next elevator, hoping House wasn't fast enough but of course he had the advantage of a cane with which he stopped the doors from closing and stepped inside.

'Oh, just admit it…you'll feel relieved when it's finally out!' He went on, Cameron sighed.

'The way you behaved in her office just now is proof enough…fidgeting with your hands, not able to stand still, your eyes roamed around the room, you held your breath…'

'You watched me?!'

House shrugged nonchalantly and rolled his eyes. 'Come on, I wanted to see her reaction to the very neat report I wrote but somehow I found you staring at her breasts far more interesting!'

Cameron opened her mouth, at first nothing wanted to come out because she was so outraged but then she found her voice, it came out high-pitched but it came out and that was the most important thing right now.

'I did no such thing!'

'No, you didn't but you wanted to!'


'Yes! Besides, what's so bad about it? Being gay is cool nowadays!'

'Ugh!' Cameron pressed the door-opener because she just realized no one had pressed any button at all and therefore they hadn't moved.

'You're going too far with this!' She said while exiting the elevator.

'And you're a prude!'

Mommy Gene

Cuddy watched Cameron's departure with concern and curiosity. She asked herself what he was bugging the young doctor with.

For a moment she considered to go after him, yell at him and then ask what he was pulling this time but realized that she wouldn't get a straight answer out of House anyway.

Instead she chose option B: go after Cameron, put a hand on her shoulder and then demand she tell her what all this was about. Cuddy didn't have much influence over House but she was sure she could still intimidate, irritate and bug the hell out of a young doctor.

Cameron had disappeared in a patient's room, Cuddy observed and followed until a woman moved past her. Probably the little boy's mother. He was just about six years old the poor thing, she thought. On the bed next to him sat Cameron, she held his hand, spoke quietly and stroked his hair. The boy closed his eyes, they were heavy from sleep, Cuddy noted and then he was back in the land of dreams.

Cameron certainly had the mommy-gene, Lisa mused, something she believed she hadn't. But then again, Allison Cameron was good with people. Not with all people but certainly with sick people. She was always so empathetic, so sympathetic; sometimes Cuddy thought she could relate to anyone, maybe even to her. Maybe if Allison knew of all her troubles, maybe then she would.

Lisa sighed deeply at her inner musings and watched the boy sleeping peacefully and Cameron still holding his hand. Her eyes were so soft, her motions were too, everything was gentle.

She would certainly be a good mother…


'Hey…' Cuddy said softly as she entered the room. Cameron looked up a bit surprised but grateful that the other woman was being relatively quiet as to not wake her young patient.

'Dr. Cuddy…' Allison said by way of greeting.

'I actually just wanted to ask you what's House been up to…the way he's behaving tells me it's nothing good…' Lisa saw Cameron's eyes narrow, how she pressed her lips together until they were one small thin line. 'But maybe this isn't a good time?'

'Just give me a minute…Jake's mom should be back soon.' Lisa chose to just sit down in a chair and wait. What a stupid idea, she thought as soon as she had taken a seat. This made her look like she wanted to know about everything House was doing and that just wasn't true.

I couldn't care less…

'Is he going to be alright?' Cuddy asked suddenly, having enough of thoughts of House.

'He has CGD…so he's never gonna be 'alright' but at least we got the pneumonia under control so he can go home tomorrow.' Cameron softly touched Jake's hand then she smiled and looked back at Cuddy.

'He's a really amazing kid, you know. Real smart…and funny, I think he could even entertain House.' Allison grinned for a bit until Jake stirred but kept sleeping. 'Tomorrow I'll tell him that you were here, in his room, and he slept through it all. I can already see him pout…'

Cuddy smiled despite the fact that she had no idea what all this was about then got up and came closer. 'Why's that?'

'He saw you at the nurses' station yesterday and said he'd like to meet you coz you were so pretty.' Allison chuckled lightly, still amused.

'Pretty? I think I'm getting a bit too old for pretty.' Cuddy joked with a grin playing around her lips.

'Well…you were far away…' Cameron stopped right then and there, realizing how that must've sounded and glanced at Cuddy who put on a serious expression and narrowed her eyes dangerously. 'What's that supposed to mean, Dr. Cameron?'

Allison's eyes widened.

'Relax, I'm just joking…' Lisa chuckled amused, her eyes sparkling mischievously.

A smile grazing her lips, Cameron looked down. 'Sorry…didn't come out the way I wanted it to.' She wanted to desperately stop smiling, House's voice still very loud in the back of her mind.

We? What?

'So, what's he bugging you with?' Lisa asked immediately after they had left Jake's room.

'It's stupid, really.' Cameron said, afraid she had to tell the Dean of Medicine what exactly House was thinking. 'Believe me, you don't wanna know.'

'I want to know.' Cuddy retorted.

'It's really stupid…and it's sort of embarrassing.' Allison allowed with a quiet, shy voice. This was getting worse every minute.

'He owes me big time, I could tell him to stop.' It seemed that Cuddy wasn't about to back down and Cameron was feeling her hands getting sweaty.

'He would never let me live it down if you talked to him…besides House wouldn't just stop.' By the time Cameron had finished the sentence she heard a door close behind her and found herself in Cuddy's office.


'Come on, it can't be that bad?'

'It's bad…very bad, for me. And if I told you it would get even worse!'

Cuddy rolled her eyes and slumped down on her chair. 'So you did something that would piss me off if I knew or House would mock you if he found out that you told me?'

Very bad indeed. Cameron sighed deeply and slumped down on the chair in front of Cuddy's desk. The Dean on the other hand was really curious now, not because of House, but because she wanted to know what Cameron could've done that was so 'bad'.

'Okay…I'm going to tell you, but I want you to know that it's not true.' Cuddy nodded and raised her eyebrows sarcastically.


'Okay…so, House thinks, and that's the part that is not true, that I have…some sort of…feelings for you…' Cameron mumbled embarrassed.


Great, now she had to explain everything. Couldn't get any worse.

'Well…like…a…crush on you, you know. That sort of feelings…' Oh my god, she gets angry, a little voice in Allison's head said. Don't panic, it said next. Too late, already am…

'I can't believe this! I can't believe you'd think I believe any of this for even a second!'


'Well, I thought you'd believe House, coz he's…House. He's always right.' Allison stuttered.

'Yeah, he's always right when it comes to his patients but not with people, even he doesn't know everything about everyone! Now, what do we do?'

Cameron stared at the woman before her in utter confusion, having no idea what Cuddy expected from her now. 'We? What?'

'We have to do something. Get back at him…god knows he deserves it!'

The Date

'Any idea what you'll give her for Christmas? Something romantic in mind?' House exclaimed 'happily' as he rode the elevator together with Cameron. 'Or better kiss her under a mistletoe!'

'Can't come up with anything better coz this is getting old.' Cameron said smirking; way too smug, House mused and followed her. When he was about to comment on her 'glow' and what she did to get it, Allison suddenly smiled and walked faster.

'Dr. Cuddy…do you have a moment?' The Dean of Medicine looked fairly surprised but stopped and looked expectantly at Cameron and House…House, he was still standing next to them, waiting.

'Could you get lost?' Cameron ordered rather than asked.

House faked a look of hurt and walked around the corner. Of course he stayed right where he was, wanting to know why he was suddenly sent away and so he leaned against the wall, an amused expression on his face, while listening to the conversation around the corner.

'Um, I wanted to ask you something.' He heard Allison say and rolled his eyes; her voice was all soft and mushy.

'Go ahead.' Cuddy said next.

'It's more of a personal matter…' There was silence for a moment then Cameron went on probably because Cuddy just nodded.

'I…I wanted to ask you…out…on a date…with me?' House's eyes widened but soon narrowed suspiciously until a smirk formed on his lips.

'You wanna date me?' Cuddy asked and House could hear the smile in her voice.

'Yeah, but I would understand if you said no…but if you said yes, I'd be much happier…'

If that was what Cameron considered flirting, House didn't know how she got married once; oh right, dying of cancer…

But somehow, for House not understandable reasons, Cuddy laughed a bit, a genuine laugh as far as he could tell.

'Um…well, why not? Let's go out on a date.' Lisa chuckled a bit and House almost puked all over himself. Before that could happen he stepped around the corner with a big smirk on his lips.

'Nice try, but I'm not buying it!' Both women glared at him as he disappeared around the corner once more.

'Great…I really thought we had him. You were so convincing!' Lisa complimented. 'The way you asked was so realistic; I would have bought it…'

Cameron tried a smile then nodded slowly and shrugged. Somehow her question hadn't felt like an act. She had really been nervous…oh god

'We'll get him one day, don't worry…but I was thinking that maybe we could go out?'

Allison's eyes widened to almost saucer-size. 'I meant as colleagues. Having a drink or some food after work?' The Dean of Medicine watched the young doctor relax visibly; was the idea of going out with her on a date so frightening to Cameron or so unappealing? It didn't matter anyway, they would never go out, Cuddy would certainly never ask her because it was Cameron, Allison Cameron; she just thought she could never have that sort of interest in the young doctor.

'Sounds nice…I'd love to, just tell me when and where?'

Love Doctor

Cameron smiled to herself as she watched Cuddy's retreating back. She felt strangely happy. With the smile still gracing her lips she turned and walked around the corner just to come nose to nose with House.

'Two more steps to go! Drinks with a colleague, next food with a friend and finally date with hot lover, what a sneaky little technique you have there, Cameron.' House limped after her when she just let him stand there and walked off.

'Sounds nice…I'd looooooove to, just tell me when and where? Really, that was just soooo obvious!' House mocked and almost ran into Cameron as the woman suddenly stopped.

'Why are you so interested in whom I 'like' or not anyway?'

House was taken aback for a second, a very tiny second. 'Because Wilson and I don't have anything better to gossip about than Cuddy and her new young love doctor.'

'Right, like you'd do something just because you can. You always have reasons, House…' Cameron couldn't believe it, he was even following her into the lab.

'I don't believe you…' Allison added while getting some test results. House was saying nothing, he was probably brooding over something entirely else, but when Cameron looked up she saw him studying the table in front of him.



'You're supposed to make a snippy remark now…at least say something mean…'

House rolled his eyes, to Allison it seemed like he was faking his fake eye-roll even.

'You feel guilty.' She stated.

'I was just remembering that I forgot to TiVo that porn I was so desperately looking for all over the internet.'

'No.' She went on, now certain that what she saw was really there. 'You feel guilty…why?' Cameron poked him in the shoulder with the tip of her finger, now sure she was onto something. 'You want me to get together with Cuddy, don't you? Why?'

'I just want the two of you to have sex because then I wouldn't need the porn anymore.'

Allison smirked smugly. 'Whatever it is, I'm going to find out…now excuse me, please, I'm heading out to dinner with the Dean of Medicine…'

When Cameron was out the door, House finally recovered from whatever it was that had him so 'upset'. 'I hope you have cameras in your bedroom coz I wouldn't wanna miss that!' He called after her but Allison didn't even turn around, she just held her hand up in a subtle wave then she was gone.

Way To Go!

Allison hoped that they wouldn't go anywhere fancy. Cuddy looked like fancy, like she enjoyed fancy food, fancy places and all that. It wasn't like Cameron wasn't dressed for it or that it was about the money, she just didn't like fancy that much. She felt out of place then, like she didn't belong there and she knew she didn't.

'You ready?' Cameron poked her head into the Dean's office and smiled; she was really looking forward to this.

'Yeah, just give me second…' Lisa answered the phone that had just started ringing and immediately rolled her eyes. 'It's for you.' She stated dryly, holding the phone out to Cameron.

'Dr. Cameron…' She said slowly.

'I just called to wish you luck! Cuddy can be sooo difficult at times…'


'Way to go!' He yelled then hung up.

'God, he's a nut job.' Cameron hung up as well, shaking her head.

'Yeah, I know…' Commented Cuddy, getting her coat. 'I know a nice place a few minutes from here. Up for pizza?'

'I think pizza is just what I need today.'

A few minutes later Cameron drove just behind Cuddy's car to the pizza place and was glad when she discovered that the place was just a cozy little restaurant tucked away somewhere in the corner of the city.

'This is nice…' Allison commented.

'Don't tell anyone, this is my secret hiding place.' Lisa whispered conspiringly as they were led to a table in the corner. 'If you ever told anyone I would've got to kill you and believe me, no one would find out…'

Names And Wine

Cuddy took a swig of sweet red wine and listened to Cameron talking. The pizza was long gone, the wine was still there and so were they.

'I once almost introduced myself as Cameron, thinking 'uh wait, that's not your first name, what was it again, right, Allison'. I think the guy thought I was nuts!'

Lisa laughed throatily and put the glass down on the table. 'Well, maybe he wouldn't have noticed, Cameron is also a first name after all. You could've said your last name was Allison and asked him if he called you that because you were used to it from work?'

'I think then he would've definitely thought I was crazy.'

They both chuckled amused, drinking wine.

'You know…despite the fact that House is being an ass, he somehow was right. It's somehow his doing that led us here…and I think it's good, pretty good.' Lisa said wistfully, her eyes fixed on the red liquid in her glass.

'I still don't get what he thinks is going on or what he thinks should happen but I'm glad this happened…' Cameron grinned lopsided. 'And yes, he's an ass.'

Cuddy chuckled again and Allison had to think that she had never heard that coming out of Lisa's mouth before. She was used to the Dean of Medicine Cuddy and now she got to meet the outside of work Cuddy; not yet the Lisa Cuddy but if House was right and she really had a sneaky little technique - not that she did it consciously - they would maybe end up as some sort of friends.

'I never took the time to get to know you…I thought you were that young innocent doctor, swooning over House but now I realize that's far from the truth…I hope we can do this again some time?'

Allison smiled at that and nodded. 'Sure…' She wanted to say 'I'd love to' but refrained from it, hearing House mocking her already. 'That would be nice.' She said instead.

They paid their bills, said bye to the waiter and stepped outside into the cold winter night. It snowed a little.

'See you tomorrow, Dr. Cuddy…' Allison said smiling.

'See you tomorrow…'

Ding Ding Ding!

'Good morning, Dr. Cameron!' Lisa said chipper.

'Good morning, Dr. Cuddy!' Cameron replied, mimicking the Dean's voice. Cuddy just chuckled and stepped up to the young doctor and signed something a nurse held out to her.

'I enjoyed myself a lot last night…' Lisa said slowly, still somewhat confused. She had expected it to be nice and all but not like this. She felt like she had found someone who could actually be her friend. Someone who wasn't afraid of her and her career, someone who was intellectually equal, someone with humor.

'Me too…' Allison smiled shyly and cursed herself for doing so. Then there was a moment of silence between them which was interrupted by Cameron's beeper.

'Sorry…I gotta go…a patient.'

Finally she reached the Diagnostic Department on the next floor and hurried into the room Chase and Foreman were waiting in. House was leaning against the sink, brooding.

'29 year old woman…' Foreman started. 'She had a seizure and was brought here two days ago. Since then she had another three seizures and temporarily lost sight on her left eye, she fainted twice and lost sensation in her left arm for about one hour…'

'Obviously something neurological.' Chase threw in.

'MRI, CT negative…'

'How was your date?' House interrupted.

'You were on a date?' Chase questioned.

'No, I wasn't…what did the EEG say?' Cameron retorted.

'Normal…but her seizures seem to be non-epileptic…they think she's faking it, but I don't think so. She wants to be tested, wants to find out what's wrong with her…' Foreman explained handing the file over to Cameron.

'Did she take you to her 'secret hiding place'?' House went on, limping over to the white board.

'She?' Chase asked in disbelief.

'It wasn't a date! Infection?'

'Nope…she's very persistent so we ran a lot of tests…' Allison looked at the next sheet of paper and then the next and the next.


'No, screening was negative…'

Suddenly the file was snatched out of Cameron's grasp and House was looking over it. 'Are you going on another date?' He asked, faking distraction.

'It wasn't a date.' Allison repeated annoyed.

'Yeah…that's what the two of you believe…get the woman a psychiatrist.'

'Who? Cameron?' Chase asked, he couldn't follow anymore.

'No, the patient and as I said, she's not faking it!' Foreman took the file back, glaring at House's back.

'Get one for him, too, I think Foreman's hearing things!' House opened the door with his cane rather aggressively. 'I didn't say she was faking it.'

'Then…what is it?' Eric asked, hunching over the file.

Everyone shrugged and House rolled his eyes. 'Maybe…Conversion Disorder? The symptoms fit…' Cameron rather asked than suggested.

'Ding ding ding ding ding!'

True Jerk

House limped into his office. Somehow all this was going the way he had planned it but it just occurred to him that it wasn't what he wanted. But why? Of course he knew what he wanted, but how should he deal with it?

He snatched two tickets to a concert he had gotten from a patient and made his way over to the elevators. This was a stupid idea, he thought but rode down anyway.

When he saw Cuddy he again had the feeling that this was the right thing to do but could he? Should he?

He watched her for a moment, she was beautiful, he had always known that, he wasn't blind.

Once House had told her that she could never be happy when things weren't perfect and because things were hardly ever perfect she'd stay unhappy for the rest of her life. She needed someone who was at least better than him, he would make her miserable, he knew that, but House was selfish.

He took another few steps towards her and stuffed the tickets into his pocket, just to be safe.

'Cuddy!' He called out but the woman walked away and of course he went after her.

'If this is about Cameron or the dinner we had or some other ridiculous theory of yours, I don't wanna hear it!'

Was he up to it? Cuddy was a strong woman, independent, had her own will; he liked that. But was he ready to make a step? Could he?

'Actually…I came down here because I always wondered if Cameron had a pierced nipple?'

He couldn't. He knew why.

Cuddy threw him out of course, telling him to do his clinic duty and that he was a jerk and it was true.

Don't Talk To Strangers

'Hey you, come here!' House ordered pointing at a young boy who looked him up and down with huge eyes.

The boy didn't make a move so House limped over to him outside the hospital entrance.

'Are you a pervert?' The boy asked concerned.

'No, I'm a cripple. Now take this envelope and go inside to the nurses' station, give it to them and come back out and I'll give you five bugs.' The boy still stared at him, unsure of what to do.

'Ten bugs?'

The boy took the envelope without another word, more afraid than keen on getting money and ran inside.

'Excuse me?' He called from the counter and waited until a nurse looked down to him.


'Here!' He thrust the envelope out and ran back as fast as he could. The nurse just raised her eyebrows and looked down on the white envelope in her hands.

Outside the boy waited for his ten dollars but could only watch the man with the cane walking away.

'Hey!' He called after him.

'Hasn't your mom ever told you to not talk to strangers!' House yelled over his shoulder, then disappeared around the corner.


Somewhat deflated Cuddy looked through her mail. Yesterday evening she had received a phone call, unfortunately the caller hadn't had good news for her and so the bad mood she had since yesterday was still evident on her face. Her assistant hadn't even dared to ask what was wrong when she came in this morning, she had just held out the mail, had smiled carefully and kept silent until Cuddy had disappeared into her office.

The mail didn't make her mood better though, on the contrary. Until she saw the card Wilson gave her every year. 'Happy Holidays…' She mumbled to herself and smiled ruefully. Wilson gave her a card every year, it was nice of him; he was thoughtful and a great friend and Lisa cherished that.

Then she opened a white envelope, in it a bill once again. Cuddy sighed and opened letter after letter until she came across another greeting card.

'Happy Hanukkah…' She read with a frown which turned into a smile. She opened the card carefully and looked inside to see what was written there.


The Invitation

'May I?' Cuddy asked, gesturing to the empty chair at Cameron's table.

'Sure…' Allison watched Lisa put her tray down on the table and then take a seat. The cafeteria was rather crowded but there were enough empty seats at tables with far more 'important' occupants but Cuddy had chosen to sit with her. As 'high school' as it sounded, Cameron felt somewhat important, recognized.

'So…what are you up to on Christmas? Visiting your family?' Cuddy asked, trying small talk; it had worked pretty well yesterday.

'Nope…I'm not really fond of Christmas. You?' And she really wasn't, not of Christmas and not of her family.

'Don't know yet. I was planning to go to a dinner party but it was cancelled, the hostess's sick…I got your card, thanks.'

'Thought you might like it…'

Allison wanted to ask if they could probably 'celebrate' together but what could she offer the Dean of Medicine, especially since she was prepared to go to a dinner party. Besides, they didn't know each other that well after all.

'I probably make something nice to eat and start a movie marathon or something…' Cameron mumbled just that something was said but immediately realized that her plans must sound pathetic, that her life must sound pathetic.

'Well, I wish I could cook something nice…I can cook but not really anything more complicated than pancakes…I always order stuff or stand the kitchen the whole day with recipes all over the place.' A rueful chuckle followed the statement.

'I actually enjoy this time of year…the snow and the lights everywhere, being with family…' Lisa went on, picking on her lunch rather bored.

To Cameron this all sounded like a plea. She didn't know why Cuddy didn't ask herself; maybe because she didn't want to impose on the younger doctor or sound needy and alone but Allison knew a hint when she heard one.

'Maybe…we could do something together? I mean, Christmas Eve and the last night of Hanukkah are on the same day this year…we could spend it together…or something?' There, she had asked and immediately witnessed a small but happy smile form on Cuddy's lips.

'I don't know…you sure?'

'Yeah, of course. Have something in mind?' Allison watched Lisa take her first real bite since she had sat down.

'I wouldn't want you to change your plans just because of me…'

Could a woman who was usually so sure of herself, so independent and forward be so shy and uncertain about something as simple as Christmas plans?

'Why don't you come to my place, I cook something and we watch movies?' Cuddy suggested.

'No, no, no. I invited you, remember? So it's my place, I cook but you can bring the movies…' Why did she say that? Cameron looked down at her meal for a second to contemplate but her thoughts were interrupted by Cuddy.

'Thanks…well…I look forward to it.'

Cameron smiled slightly and nodded. 'Me too…'

The Envelope

Mail duty! Cameron sorted through House's mail first, he got the most after all. Most of the cases described here he would find boring, he didn't care about bills and he didn't want to know anything about new cars, new shoes or new life insurance.

Allison threw most of his mail out then went through hers. What she found was a bit curious; just a white envelope with her name on it, neatly written on the front of it. With a raised eyebrow she opened it and found two tickets for a classical music concert in it.


She went through a list of patients who could've given them to her but came up empty. They were either too young, had not enough money or just weren't interested in classical music.

Oh, well. Cameron tucked the tickets back into the envelope and put it in her purse. She wasn't into classical that much either but maybe she could give them to someone else. Maybe House, but after what he did the past few days he didn't deserve them.

The L Word

'I've been watching the L Word just now and I have to say, you should look into that Bette character. She reminds me of Cuddy.'

Cameron rolled her eyes and pressed the elevator button repeatedly to hopefully get the doors to open faster. 'The L Word isn't on on Thursdays.'

House blinked innocently and hmmm-ed. 'If you say so. You're the one who should know best from the two of us.'

Finally, the car arrived and the doors opened. Cameron dashed inside, pressed the close button and was finally rid of him.


Next thing he knew, he was cornered by Cuddy. 'What are you doing?'

'I was just updating Cameron on the latest developments on The L Word, why?' House realized in that moment that he had probably reached the limit.

'Just…go home and come back after Christmas.'

Wow, that was weird and so weak of her. 'I can't.'

'You don't have a patient.' Lisa countered.

'I have clinic duty.' House threw back.

'Of which you are relieved!' Cuddy said annoyed and threw her hands in the air. 'Admit it, you just want to stay so you can harass Allison some more.'

'Only if you admit, that you just come to work to show off your new Jimmy Choo's…and since when are the two of you on first name basis?'

Cuddy put her hands on her hips. 'Since we were able to spend time away from you! Oh, and thanks for noticing the shoes…and you say I'm the gay one.'

'Haha! I said Cameron's the gay one…but if you insist I buy you a nice rainbow flag for Hanukkah or would you rather like a necklace with 'BUTCH'-pendant?'

'Hey! No one wearing such shoes…' She gestured at her Jimmy Choo's. '…could ever be butch! And why am I still talking to you?!' Cuddy made to leave but felt the need to add something. 'Stop. Harassing. Allison. And get over that odd phase you're in, it's getting ridiculous.'

House snorted. 'Duh! I don't need a phase to be odd, I was born odd! As for my being ridiculous, better take a good look at what you and Cameron are doing, that's what I call ridiculous!'

Asses And Idiots

'You're an ass!'

House glanced at Wilson just briefly, not really interested. 'And you're an idiot!'

'What was that for?' Wilson moved further into House's office, glaring at him.

'I don't know. You said ass first.'

'Now you're being an even bigger ass! Just tell me what the hell you're thinking?'

That was too easy. 'That Carmen Electra and Joan Jett would be a really interesting couple to have a threesome with.'

Wilson sighed deeply, rubbed his temples and tried to get his raging pulse back under control; his nerves just weren't as strong as they used to be…before he had met House.

'You know what I'm talking about…they're back together?' What?! He was going nuts.

'I don't know, ask Cameron or Cuddy, they would know.'

'House…why are you doing this?'

'It's fun.' House started playing with his cane while leaning back into his chair.

'I don't believe you. You must have some ulterior motives? I mean, just a few weeks back you were actually civil with Cameron and really cozy – for your standards - with Cuddy, what happened?'

'You really wanna know?'

Wilson narrowed his eyes. 'Yes?' He was just going to tell?

'I found out that…Cuddy was a lesbian and am really glad I found out before we entered into an intimate relationship.' He said dryly, rolling his eyes.

'I don't get you.' He slumped down on the couch.

'That's because such ordinary people as you, can hardly hold up with a genius like me. But that's okay, I'm used to it.'

House babbled on but Wilson didn't care; this was how it worked after all. House made comments that didn't in the least have anything to do with the subject matter, while Wilson figured everything out on his own. 'You don't really think the two could actually have something going, that would be unrealistic…even for you.' He concluded.

'You wouldn't push them towards each other if you really believed that…you've got a thing for Cuddy after all.'

House rolled his eyes. 'She's not my type. I like them inflatable.'

'Why are you trying to convince them you know something they haven't figured out yet? I mean, you can make anyone believe anything…hey…' Wilson pointed with his finger at him. 'You want them to believe you're right about this? This is…this is…stupid.'

'Now how would I do that? Both of them trust me as much as they trust the President…hey, wait, is Cuddy a republican?'

Wilson snorted. 'No one trusts you! That's why you one day started to be unscrupulous on purpose, so you could control people's reactions…but this isn't about trust. When it's about knowing things, everyone knows that you know it first…'

House smiled sweetly. 'I know, I'm a genius.'

'Yeah, maybe, but you're also an ass. You use that to make Cuddy and Cameron question themselves and their feelings and the thing is you don't even believe in it yourself.'

Wilson walked around the office. 'Why would you want that?' He looked at House for an answer after not coming up with one of his own.

'Everything that makes Cuddy angry is fun. Gosh, 'ordinary' people are so slow, haven't you learned anything yet?'

Wilson crossed his arms over his chest and nodded. 'Yeah, that you're an ass, that you never just do something because it's fun and that you like being miserable.'


'What are you doing? I told you to go home.'

'I'm pretending to work and they are pretending to get paid adequately.' House gestured at the three doctors who were trying to come up with a differential diagnosis.

'What about..?' Cameron started but was interrupted for the fourth time since they had started this whole thing.


'You don't even know what I was about say.'

'Louis-Bar syndrome.'

Allison stared at him for a moment, then 'No. I wanted to say Ataxia Teleangiectasia.'

'That's the same thing and you were not going to use the long complicated name only real doctors and guys with low self esteem who're trying to impress chicks with bigger boobs than IQ use.'

'Not the same words and I was gonna say that.'

House rolled his eyes first at her then at Cuddy.

'He already knows what the guy has but wants us to diagnose him anyway…without doing any tests.' Cameron said in Lisa's direction, adding a pointed look to the sentence.


'House, what's the point of this?' Cuddy put her hands on her hips.

'Genius me was able to diagnose the patient in less than five minutes while my team took 15 minutes and couldn't come up with anything useful. This is a teaching hospital after all, don't you want me to teach, Dr. Cuddy?'

'Actually, no. I want you to go home.'

House put on a shocked face and gasped. 'My, aren't we pesky today. I bet that has something to do with Cameron's skills as a lover.'

Foreman chuckled into his fist and earned himself a slap on the arm. 'Lisa, could you possibly fire him or take away his cane or something.' Cameron stood and glared.

'Yeah, Liiiiisa, why don't you fire me? It would be a nice Christmas gift for your beloved. You're going to spend Hanukkah at her place after all, bringing a gift is the least you can do.' He watched Cameron get her jacket.

'How did you find out about that?' Cuddy glared at him rather shocked.

'I overheard it in the cafeteria…but that's probably because I was eavesdropping.'

Cameron put on her jacket and gathered her things, House was confused. 'I'm leaving.' She announced. 'What?' She questioned her colleagues. 'He doesn't need us here.'

Foreman nodded, still smiling smug. 'She's right. I'm outta here.'

'Now look at what you did, Liiiiisa. You spoiled all the fun! Admit it; you want her all to yourself.'

Cuddy sighed as Chase flew past her to get his own coat. 'Yeah…' She drawled in the end, not really caring about this whole shit anymore. 'C'mon, babe…wanna grab a bite?'

Allison grinned and nodded. 'Sure thing, honey. Bye, House!'

'Don't be too nice to her, Liiiiisa or before you know it she'll bring a U-Haul to your next date!'

The Worst In People

Okay, this was it. Cuddy was at her door.

Allison checked her appearance once more on her way, tugged on her shirt, put a strand of hair in its place, cleared her throat and put on a pleasant smile. 'Hey…' She said by way of greeting, finding that she sounded quite lame herself.

'Hey.' Cuddy said just as lamely. 'I brought some wine.' Lisa offered her the bottle while stepping in.

'Thanks. Um…it'll go nice with the food. Everything's kosher…not that it matters…you're a vegetarian so there's not meat at all…' Oh god, what the hell was she doing? 'Pasta…' Cameron added and rolled her eyes inwardly. What's wrong with me?!

'Pasta sounds good. Oh, I got the movies. Some action, some comedy…even a chick flick and of course the sappy romance.' Cuddy handed her the bag and looked around herself for the first time while Allison nodded approvingly at the movies she had chosen.

Awkward. Allison searched for something to say to ease the tension because Lisa was obviously doing nothing about it. 'It's gonna be fun.'

Lisa smiled slyly and nodded. 'Well, the pimply jerk at the video store didn't think so. Gave me a smug glare and I glared right back, coz after all…he's the one who has to spend Christmas behind that sticky dirty counter.'

Okay, they were back. This was better, Allison thought.

'He apparently didn't like the glare though. He called me 'lady' right after that.' Lisa popped a piece of carrot into her mouth while Cameron tried to clean up some more and turning the heat down on the stove.

'Well, I certainly wouldn't dare call you lady. I mean, you have this lady-like aura and all but after having witnessed a fight between you and House that image was destroyed right away.'

Cuddy snorted. 'He brings out the worst in people. Got a corkscrew?'

Cameron handed her one. 'I know. I called him an ass and a jerk in one sentence just yesterday because he told me I should get my eyes checked.'

Lisa opened the bottle and let the wine breathe while leaning against the counter. 'Why?' She didn't really want to know. Okay, she wanted to know because somehow it was quite funny to hear with what ridiculousness House had come up this time.

'Because I was staring at your ass.' Allison got some plates, turning away deliberately. 'He said I would stare at your ass all the time…not that I…' She cleared her throat, Cuddy chuckled.

'Oh, puh-lease! You know I don't believe a word of what he says.' Allison was relieved, Cuddy doubted what she had just said. House was usually right, but he could be wrong. It wouldn't be the first time.

He's wrong. Now stop it.

About Livers

They started with the romantic movie. They were both closeted romantics after all; well, in Cameron's case that wasn't exactly true. Everyone believed her to be a hopeless romantic, totally sappy and a sucker for candlelight dinners, and she so was, Lisa thought.

After the main characters were happily married, they put on another movie while eating some more of the pasta. It was a horror flick and Cameron didn't like the fact that the guts spilled on the floor looked somehow a bit like her sauce.

'Ugh, if that was a real liver the guy would've died of cancer years ago.' She said.

'It's not a real one.'

'I know that.'

Cuddy snorted. 'Then why are you thinking about real livers at all, Dr. Cameron?'

'Don't start. I know you can't watch horror movies with me…sometimes when someone's throat gets slashed or something I often think that the blood's not gushing out the right way…my friends in med school hated me for always commenting on it.'

Lisa smiled and took a swig of wine. 'I think it's fun.' She gave Allison a grin. 'No one can take those movies seriously after all, right?'

'Right. And those who do should get a psych exam.'

'Hehe…yeah.' Cuddy mumbled distractedly as the blonde girl was stabbed in the back and her throat slashed.

'Now look…it's not supposed to 'gush' out like that.'

Lisa just chuckled.

Don't Care So Much

It was getting late and they were finally watching something with depth. Allison said nothing for a long time and Lisa could see that she was relating to the characters in the movie; even for them she felt sympathy. It was astounding in a way but sad in another that she cared so much.

Caring can sometimes be a burden, Lisa mused.

This year's Hanukkah certainly was unusual. Lisa was used to fancy Christmas parties, dinners, evenings with relatives and friends, people she loved. Allison was now her friend and it required some getting used to.

They hadn't been friends before after all. She cared about the young doctor a lot more than a few weeks back. And that was somehow all that mattered – spending Hanukkah or Christmas with someone who meant a great deal to you. It didn't matter that they were merely watching movies and didn't have a huge dinner and weren't lightning the lights on the tree or the candles on the menorah. It was just fine the way it was.

'Hey…' Lisa said quietly and waited for Allison to tear her eyes away from the screen.


'Thanks for inviting me.'

Allison smiled gently. 'Thanks for coming.' She looked a moment longer at Lisa; this felt good. Really good and comfortable, who would've thought? Cameron's smile widened as the pleasantness of the moment warmed her insides. She hugged Lisa, squeezed her tightly and took a breath. 'Happy Hanukkah.'

Cuddy chuckled. 'Merry Christmas.' Allison could hear the contentment in Lisa's voice, she enjoyed hearing it.

They drew apart slowly but still held onto each other.

For a moment Allison couldn't tear her eyes away from the woman. Lisa couldn't either but she always came back to reality faster than most people. She cast her eyes downward and sighed and smiled to break the moment.

It worked for her quite nicely. She shook and lifted her head to look at the recognition that would no doubt be displayed on Allison's face; Cameron was young, younger than she was but not naïve, she must've felt it too.

But what she saw wasn't the slight embarrassment or the blush she had expected to see. Allison was still looking at her, still studying her, she was still caught in that moment and Lisa didn't know if the pull she herself had felt was pulling stronger on Allison or if she just didn't want to leave that moment. It had felt good, she could understand why someone would want to revel in it.

The nervous smile Lisa had smiled slowly morphed into a shy one and then vanished altogether as she realized that Allison had no intention to withdraw and forget all about it.

All Cameron could think was that she should take a chance, take this chance. She wasn't like that but she felt she could be in this moment. Maybe she really should just admit it…

Allison leaned forward, slowly, her eyes focused but glassy, her body totally still. Their lips touched just barely. She tilted her head to the side as slowly as she could and watched Lisa's eyes close. Allison closed hers' too…

And her lips were soft. Soft and gentle against her own. It was a strange feeling, a strange situation, kissing her friend. It felt serene and fresh, like a crisp morning, like snow and silence.

Allison leaned in further because Lisa didn't and moved her lips. Lisa touched her as they sunk into the couch and the cushions, Lisa touched her cheek, Lisa touched her neck, Lisa kissed her back.



Cuddy drew away first, immediately she covered her eyes with her hand then wiped her mouth with her fingertips and sat back. 'This is ridiculous.'

Allison sat up too and cleared her throat. Ridiculous? She wanted to say something but Lisa beat her to it.

'This is ridiculous. I mean, we're so afraid that House is right…and…and at the same time we believe that he is actually right because you know he's House and he's always right and we end up kissing oh my god.'

Cameron stared at her for a moment, wanting to say Lisa shouldn't assume knowing what she was thinking but refrained from it; Cuddy was nervous enough already. 'Look…nothing happened…'

'Nothing happened? We were just kissing!'

'Yeah…so? Let's not freak out, okay?' Allison took a moment to take her own advice and composed herself. 'I'm sorry.' She said. 'You're my friend. It's Christmas…Hanukkah and we had wine and we kissed. We did it, it happened, it's over.'

Lisa was a bit taken aback by the rationalism Allison just showed but went with it. Usually being rational was her part. 'Okay. I'm sorry too.' She smiled. 'Oh god. This was really stupid.' She chuckled, Cameron joined in.

'Yeah, it was.' Allison cast her eyes downward as her heart suddenly felt somewhat heavy. 'Want to unwrap your gift?'

'Hey, I told you: no gifts.' She watched Cameron get up and open a drawer. She took a white envelope out and came back with a huge but shy smile on her lips.

'It's not really a gift…' Allison began as she toyed with the envelope. 'Don't get mad but I think a patient gave it to me. There wasn't a name on it or anything so…' She placed the envelope onto Cuddy's knees and grinned. 'Just open it.'

Lisa smirked and did as she was told. Two tickets to a concert. Wow.

'I thought you might like to go. I'm not really into classical music but I know you are a bit.'

Lisa smiled at her and leaned her head on the backrest of the sofa. 'Thanks…' She said quietly. 'It's nice that you thought of me and yes, I'd like to go…under one condition. You have to go with me and sit through the whole thing.'

Cameron groaned, pretending to not be keen on going but she was and Lisa knew. It was okay.


'Did you get a nice present for Christmas-slash-Hanukkah? Cuddy with only a bow on maybe?'

Cameron just snorted; no anger, no embarrassment. 'I had a wonderful Christmas…what did you do?'

House waved her off. 'Oh, the usual. Just watched some old Christmas flick…what was it again? Oh, right. Santa and The Naughty Elves.'

'Sounds fascinating.'

House followed her into the elevator and pressed a button while trying to contain his curiosity until the doors closed. 'You wanna tell me you actually had fun? With her?'

Cameron nodded and smiled at House genuinely; he was still a pest but at least refrained from being downright mean at the moment. 'Yeah. I had fun. What were you up to?'

House sighed and made a face. 'My parents were visiting.'

'Bet you would've had more fun watching Santa and The Naughty Elves after all, huh?' She smirked as she saw his pained expression.

'Yeah…would've had more fun watching a fat lady at an All-You-Can-Eat buffet.' He glanced over at Cameron and lifted both his eyebrows. 'Sooo…you asked her out on a date yet.' And here we go again.

'Nope…' Allison said coyly as the elevator came to a halt. 'But I might.' She left him standing there and walked away expecting to hear a comment any moment, but there didn't come one.

House stared at her retreating back; this wasn't supposed to turn out this way. He hadn't seen that coming. He shook his head and narrowed his eyes. Was she playing him? Probably.

Music And Red Pumps

Cameron watched Cuddy out of the corner of her eye. The evening had been pleasant so far; the ride to the restaurant had been filled with light conversation, the dinner had been fun and the concert was just impressive.

Allison wasn't really into the music but she was into spending time with Lisa and that was reason enough to make her spend an evening listening to a pianist she didn't know.

Lisa enjoyed herself, Allison could see it clearly and she was glad she had been able to give Lisa something she liked. It was hard to find a present for her as it was; the woman had everything she needed and almost everything she wanted. On top of that she was rather picky and changed her mind every second.

Lisa knew what she wanted, Allison had no doubt about that, but she took her sweet time deciding what was best of all the choices she had. Cameron just hoped they'd never go shopping, it would probably take forever. She could picture it; Lisa declaring that she wanted a pair of red pumps, waltzing into the store, looking at the assortment, trying on every pair but never asking 'what do you think'. Then she would probably narrow it down to three pairs, try on every single one twice, narrow it down again, try on once more and then decide.

God, she hoped they never went shopping.

'Are you even paying attention?' Lisa whispered into her ear, an amused smile gracing her lips.

'Uh…yeah.' Allison mumbled and tried to concentrate. She really wasn't into classical music.

The Peck

'You wanna come up for a coffee?' Cameron asked, fidgeting with her hands.

'I should probably get going, I've got an early start tomorrow.'

It wasn't an excuse, Allison knew; Lisa wasn't eager to end the night just yet either. 'I had a great time.' Cuddy said next, smiling slyly while fingering the key that still stuck in the ignition. She decided to cut it.

Allison nodded slowly. 'Me too.'

'Oh, c'mon, you hated it.' Lisa laughed. Allison loved to hear her laugh and she loved the sparkling eyes and the rich sound of Lisa's voice.

'Not true! Well, okay. I admit, it's not really the kind of music I like but the company made up for it.' Oops. She hadn't meant to say that, it was true though, but she really hadn't meant to say that out loud.

Cameron waited for Lisa to do her thing; avert her eyes, smile nervously and let the moment pass. There it was. She lowered her head, looked down at the keys in her hand, smiled and looked back up. But then Lisa leaned over and kissed Allison right on the lips.

It was a short kiss, chaste and a bit awkward even. It wasn't a real kiss. A peck, maybe.

The second one though…that was a kiss. There were tongues involved.

Lisa took a deep breath and drew back first again. 'We're doing it again.'

Allison sighed deeply and sat back in her seat. 'I guess so…'

Her crestfallen expression must've given Lisa the wrong impression. 'Are you thinking about House?'

'Who?' Cameron shook her head. She felt kind of disappointed…sad actually. 'Oh…yeah. House.'

House vs. Concern

House glanced at the table at the far end of the room again. 'You're concerned.' Wilson remarked casually but pleased with himself for picking up on it.

'Concerned?' House tore his eyes away from Cuddy and Cameron who were talking and eating. 'You wouldn't know how I look like when I'm concerned because I never was before.'

Wilson looked over at the two women and grinned. 'You didn't predict this. You wanted Cuddy to focus on Cameron but you didn't want her to forget all about you.'

'She could never forget all about me, she's my little love slave.'

Wilson snorted noisily. 'Yeah…I think that's more like the other way 'round.' He tore off a piece of bread from his sandwich and popped it into his mouth. 'Let me ask you a personal question.'

House waved him off. 'You do that all the time, besides I don't have anything against personal questions…I just lie.'

'Whatever. You once said that even lies tell the truth or something.'

'Yeah, I did. My genius brain came up with that crap in just a mere second, can you believe that? Amazing, aren't I?'

This was just typically House; evade serious discussions at any cost, even if it meant being sarcastic and condescending.

'You are concerned, right?' Wilson followed House's line of sight which inevitably led to the table of Cuddy and Cameron. 'You misjudged Cameron. You thought she didn't go for women.'

'Tsk, tsk, tsk. I knew about that. If needy enough, Cameron would even go for you.'

Wilson glared at him. 'Hey, I'm not that bad.'

'You are worse than bad…how often did you get a divorce again?'

'Now you're just being mean to change the subject. Admit it, House. You screwed up and you're concerned.'

House rolled his eyes. 'Gosh, could you leave that on my answering machine so that I can ignore the red blinking instead of your voice?'

Wilson stood and put his hands up in defense. 'Fine. Have fun with your misery…'

House watched him leave, lost interest and looked back at Cameron and Cuddy. They were gone too. He thought about the situation for a few moments, trying to come up with a strategy.

He just had to be meaner, because they hated it when he was right and would do everything to prove him wrong.

The End

She wasn't dumb. She wasn't naïve. She wasn't an idiot.

Cameron sighed as she remembered the kiss and Lisa's reaction to it…to both of them. She had blamed it all on House. Said they were afraid he was right.

Well, Allison thought, she wasn't afraid that House might be right. So what? Maybe he had seen the attraction before they had and now Lisa was denying herself - and her - the chance of having something, whatever that might be.

Of course, Cameron had been just as keen on proving House wrong at the beginning but now…now she didn't care. They had chemistry. They had great conversations. They had fun. They could have something. The difference between her and Lisa was that she had actually gotten rid of the need to be better than House.

'It's usually not my style to care about people, but why are you sticking your lip out like a five year old sugar addict on withdrawals? Is the condition of our patient so depressing to you?'

Cameron snapped out of her haze and looked at House then at her colleagues who were eyeing her rather strangely. She must've spaced out pretty badly.

'Sorry…' She mumbled.

'Must've been some fight. Why don't you go down and make up with her? Maybe some sex will help?'

Cameron rolled her eyes; she wanted to ignore him but her nerves were practically nonexistent. 'This is going too far, House! I don't care why you're doing this but it's enough. I don't wanna hear it anymore, got it? It's ridiculous! It's stupid! There is nothing, nada, between Lisa and me! There won't ever be! Just get over it!'

Chase looked shocked, Foreman lifted his eyebrow, House was stunned and Cameron was furious.

'You know why that is?' House asked calmly after a moment of complete silence.


'That you two didn't have a nice roll in the hay yet?'

'Shut up, House.'

'Because you're even too much of a prude for a lesbian to ask for a date. So why don't you go down there, ask her out and earn yourself your toaster? I heard the Government of the Lesbian Nation is now delivering them in 24 hours. You could make her a nice toast for breakfast in bed tomorrow morning.'

Allison stared at him in disbelief. One, because he wouldn't stop and two, because he was somehow right. 'You know what?' She asked, a devious smile forming on her lips. 'I'll just do that.'

She walked out and down the hall. House didn't get it for a moment and neither did Foreman and Chase. House was catching up faster though and made to go after her. 'You two kiddos stay here, kindergarten isn't over yet.'

House caught a glimpse of Cameron behind the closing doors of the elevator. He hobbled to the other one and pressed the button; once, twice. This took too long. He decided to not take the stairs but instead stand on the small balcony overlooking the entrance and Cuddy's office.

He didn't see Cameron but he waited until finally the doors to Cuddy's office opened. Out came Allison. She smiled. Smug.

House shook his head; nice try but it didn't work. Cameron ignored him on purpose; she probably knew she'd give herself away if she looked at him. How lame.

Cuddy appeared in the doorway and leaned against the frame. Totally staged. She waved at Cameron subtly and grinned like an idiot. Tsk.

Then she noticed House. She looked at him for a long moment then she smiled at him too. The smile looked kinda strange, he thought. Not smug. Not happy either.

Kinda…sad. Kinda pitiful.

Cuddy went back into her office and closed her door and House took a moment to think about what just happened.

He had to admit that he hadn't seen this coming at all.

The End

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