DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Mutant X belongs to Tribune, Marvel Comics and I think the WB, now.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

By Anne


She would always remember.

She remembers when they were just friends. She remembers the first time she met Emma; outside of the club in that alleyway. The younger girl was terrified yet she stood her ground, refusing to admit that she had powers. Shalimar was impressed that first time around. She remembers when Emma finally caved and told them she was a psionic. The way those blue eyes sparkled with relief at unleashing her secret and being accepted by it. She remembers taking Emma under her wing, teaching her to embrace her differences not hide them. She remembers feeling the younger girl in her arms, trembling beneath her skillful hands for reasons unknown as she slowly opened herself up to Shalimar.

Shalimar would always remember.

The blonde remembers when Emma joined the team, how it took months afterwards to get her to trust them all the way she trusted Brennan. Shalimar remembers the way Emma would always come to her, but backing off before they could actually talk to one another. Shalimar remembers feeding Emma popcorn on movie night, a gesture meant to make her feel welcome and more at home, but it was a gesture that seemed to spark more than friendly feelings in the feral.

Shalimar remembers the first time Emma did let her in. Emma had been sleeping roughly for nights and Shalimar would always check on her the next morning. The pisonic lied horribly, but did it nonetheless. Shalimar finally took her aside, soothed her and hugged her until she confessed her nightmares. That night, Shalimar had slept in Emma's room, watching over the younger girl until she couldn't keep her eyes open any longer and she had drifted asleep beside Emma, snuggling close to her.

That would be the day that Shalimar would always remember as seeing Emma as Emma. She still remembers taking Emma out to the clubs, the younger girl spending most of the night wrapped in Brennan's arms. Shalimar would always remember that first spark of jealousy, only adding to her confirmation that she may have been developing feelings for her young friend. Shalimar remembers taking care of Emma that night because she drank too much, and then babying her back to her old self the night morning. She remembers the bright smile she recieved when she placed the ice cold glass of water in Emma's hands and the small pout she had gotten in return for the two aspirin she had insisting on making the redhead take. She remembers Emma returning the favour the very next weekend when she herself forgot to limit her drinks.

She remembers the night she fell in love with Emma. The redhead had sensed her sullen mood and cornered her into a movie night, making her watch cheesy romantic movies and feeding her sickly sweet candies all night long. She remembers the feel of Emma's fingers as they trailed through her hair, the arm that wrapped securely around her stomach, keeping Shalimar practically in Emma's lap for most of the night. The way those blue eyes would focus on the feral, with such love and concern raditaing from every touch, every look and every word that fell from Emma's lips. "Always, Shal..." That night, Shalimar fell in love.

Shalimar will always remember how it felt when she finally realised it was indeed love. She was scared and she avoided Emma at all costs, to the point of making the redhead trap her in her room and sitting with her in silence for hours. Emma had finally sighed, loudly, causing the blonde to nearly have a heart attack in the deafening silence that had surrounded them. Emma had finally taken Shalimar into her arms and held her, for minutes, hours, Shalimar had forgotten how long it was but she would always remember the feeling of being wrapped in Emma's arms. Emma had guided them to the bed, laying Shalimar out over her as she held her close and pressed her fingers into her back, tracing the lines of Shal's spine and whispering softly to her. "Always, Shal..."

Shalimar would always remember their first kiss. It was well after they had admitted their feelings to one another, but it never went any further than that. They were too scared, too wounded and only Shalimar could heal Emma and vice versa. They had been laying on the bed, Shalimar holding Emma next to her as she stared at the ceiling for her answers to life's big questions, her fingers twirling the soft strands of Emma's hair around her fingers. Emma had propped herself up on Shalimar's chest, tracing a finger down the blonde's nose and over her lips before tapping her chin with a smile and inquiring what was going on in the blonde's mind. Shalimar had whispered something sappy, something she didn't know she was even capable of feeling and Emma had looked surprised, then pleased and she had leaned forward, brushing her lips over Shalimar's forehead in a gentle kiss before moving lower. Emma had paused above her, their eyes locking and holding before Emma's lips had connected with Shalimar's. It was the softest, shortest kiss in the world, tentative and hesitant, yet that one kiss held more feeling than a hundred kisses could have held. Shalimar would always remember that moment in time when she felt her walls crumble, when she had handed her heart over to Emma, willingly, trusting the redhead to keep her safe. "Always, Shal..."

Shalimar would always remember the fantastic beginning and the thrilling middle. Being in love with Emma was the greatest expierence of her life and she wouldn't have traded it for a second. One of the greatest feelings in the world was holding Emma in her arms, feeling her skin beneath her fingertips and being surrounded by a scent that was so clearly Emma, it never failed to bring a smile to Shalimar's face.

She would always remember the ending because the pain still hadn't faded away and she wasn't sure that it ever would. It seemed only fair that being with Emma gave her a reason to live, Emma was her sun, her moon and all of her stars combined, so naturally, losing Emma was the worst feeling in the world and she felt like she had no breath left in her body, no beat left in her heart and the tears that stung the back of her eyes were constant. The way they had left things were so horrible that just thinking about them make the feral wanted to give in and break down, but she fought it every step of the way. She was trying in vain to rebuild those walls up around her heart, to protect her and to make her safe but she was failing horribly because Emma was her wall and without Emma, she was beyond broken.

The picture fell from her fingertips and floated down to the ground,  unoticed... She didn't need it, she still had her mind and her heart and she would always remember because she couldn't never forget.

She would always remember...

The End

Return to Mutant X Fiction

Return to Main Page