DISCLAIMER: Guiding Light and its characters are the property of Proctor & Gamble. No infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: Up to when Jessica had Mat-Leave.
I told her I would wait for her for as long as she needed. I meant it when I said she was so worth waiting for. I never thought I'd be tested like I was. She left and I was devastated. I felt as though my world was coming apart; yes, Olivia Spencer was thrown for a loop. I felt as if I was put on a raft and set adrift at sea and I was lost. My life was dull and devoid of color; but I clung to my love for her and the knowledge that she loved me too.
Then she came back. I knew she would, she had to. I was working in my office and it was another bad day. But then the door opened and there she was. She stepped into the room and my world slowly started to come back together. When she smiled the rainbow of colors came back into my life.
She told me she never had doubts about loving me but there was something she had to find. She was sorry she didn't tell me first, and if she could do it all again, she would still go, but she would talk to me first. I told her it was okay. Yes, talking to me first would have been best; but I didn't care anymore. She was back, we were together, and that was all that mattered.
But she is back now and we are together like we never were before she left. We are a family again. I have found that when she is near I have this uncontrollable need to touch her several times a day just to make sure she is real and not a figment of my imagination. I need to feel the solidity of her form, the softness of her hair, to see the brightness of her smile and I am once again okay.
Night time is our time. I feel true peace as I hold her in my arms. I feel the weight of her head on my shoulder and the warmth of her breath through my shirt. Her arms are wrapped tightly around my middle and I truly know she isn't in my imagination. Sometimes we talk but mostly we just lay together letting the warmth of our souls flow through our bodies. It's at night, when we are totally alone, that we take comfort in each other. It's at night that we heal.
I still have nightmares that she never came back. While she was away she must have learned how to read minds because somehow I can hear her voice in the darkest part of the dream. I can feel her arms tighten around me and hear her voice. She tells me she is there and we are together. She is my anchor and keeps me safe.
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