DISCLAIMER: Sara Sidle and Sofia Curtis are the property of Jerry Bruckheimer and CBS and their parent company.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Any Given Day
"What does it feel like to take someone's life?" I don't know what possessed me to ask her that question. And judging by the way her head slowly turns in my direction and the look she's currently giving me, she's probably wondering the same thing.
Sofia doesn't say anything. She just stares at me with her eyebrows firmly joined at the center of her forehead, eyes a maelstrom of blue intensity. I can't tell if it's because she's annoyed or if she's deep in thought, either way, I think I just ruined a perfectly nice day off.
Several moments pass and still there's no response from her. I open my mouth to say something but Sofia's voice finally cuts through the silence. "On any given day...on any given anything can happen. That's the first thing you learn when you join the force. So, as an officer you already have the weight of that on your shoulders. The weight knowing that on any given, it could be you lying in a pool of your own blood, or the blood of a fellow officer. That's what we take with us every time we hit the streets. Ultimately, it all comes down to 'me or the other guy'..."
"So you're saying that you don't see it as taking a life?" I ask, not fully grasping her reasoning.
"No. That's not what I'm saying. What I am saying is that I can't afford to think about it. I can't think about the fact that some asshole who pulls a gun on me is someone's son, or husband, or father...someone's family. Because the moment I do..." Her eyes become distant as her words fade. Part of me wishes that I hadn't asked the question and part of me is glad that I did. It's a rarity to see Sofia this way, vulnerable...mortal. I sometimes forget that side of her exists because of how confident and capable she always seems to be. But it's in moments like this when I realize that she's also very...human.
I take her by the hand and pull her towards me. As her head rests on my shoulder, I whisper into her ear, "What ever happens on any given day, you make sure that you make it back home." I kiss her softly on the temple and we remain that way, resting on the couch wrapped up in each others arms until the sun goes down.
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