DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of MGM, Showtime, Gekko etc.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to my friend Merfilly for letting me use the ficlet she wrote for me. I paraphrased it and also inspired the rest of the story…sort of.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

So You Had a Bad Week Sam Carter
By Elfcat255


Having spent the better part of two weeks negotiating for the rights to set up an outpost on PX4-598, the three members of SG-1 still present were looking forward to getting home. One could only handle so much alien food and sleeping in strange quarters, no matter how often it occurred. Major Samantha Carter had decided to take one last stroll through the village. She was walking along and stopped to watch some children playing with one of the small dog-like animals they kept as pets, it reminded her so much of Cassie playing with her own dog.

'It's going to be nice to get back home,' she thought. Just then, one of the children came up to her followed by the animal. The little girl tugged on the bottom of her vest, squatting down to be at eye level with the child Carter gave her a big smile.

"Hello there," she said, "What's your name?"

The girl looked at Carter and with a shy smile answered, "Loni… you are Sam, right?"

"Yes…that's my name. How did you know that?" Sam asked.

"My brother told me, he was one of the boys chosen to serve as helpers during the feast." Loni replied with the grin of a child who thought they knew it all.

"Ah…I see. So he told you all about it?" Sam asked.

"He tells me everything, even when I don't want him to," Loni said, "brothers can be so annoying."

"I can agree with you about that, mine was pretty annoying when we were young as well." Sam said laughing when the girl nodded in agreement.

Meanwhile the girl's pet had started sniffing Sam's boots, she stood back up before it could snuffle its way towards her crotch, as was the way with all dogs it seemed.

"What's your friend's name?" Sam asked as the animal continued sniffing around her.

"Oh…that is Picu, but he isn't mine, he belongs to all the children. We feed him and he plays with us," Loni replied.

"Nice Picu…good whatever you are," Sam said as she bent down to pet the animal.

"No! Don't touch his head!" Loni cried out has Sam touched its head.

Suddenly the friendly seeming animal tensed and started to growl at the Major.

Backing away from him, Sam decided it was time to cut her walk short, just as she turned away from Picu she heard Loni exclaim again, "Don't move Sam! He will chase you if you move!"

However, it was too late she had already started to walk away, looking over her shoulder she saw Picu start after her, a terrible growling and yowling noise coming from the little creature.

Cater took off at a run, 'Maybe I can out run it back to the council house,' she thought.

Sprinting through the village square, she had just about reached the safety of the doorway when she felt a sharp pain in her rear end.

"Hey…owwww! Somebody get this thing off me!" she yelled.

A young boy ran up and whacked Picu on the back with a stick; this causing the animal to let loose its grip on Carter's rear. Picu stood still for a moment looking at the boy, he then looked back to Carter, gave a sneeze and loped off in the direction from which they had come.

Sam felt her pants seat, it was torn and when she removed her hand it came away bloody.

"Oh crap, "she muttered.

Just then, Loni came running up, "Sam are you hurt? I tried to tell you not to do that; He doesn't like to be touched on the head," the little girl rushed out in one breath.

"I'm fine Loni, really he didn't hurt me to bad…I think," Sam reassured the worried girl.

Sam suddenly heard the sound of someone laughing loudly, turning to face the sound she realized it was coming from Col. Jack O'Neill. He had doubled over laughing so hard he was crying.

"Oh Carter, if you could have seen your face when that little bugger latched on to your butt!" he managed to get out between laughs.

"Yes sir…I'm sure it was hilarious. I'll meet you guys at the gate," she said turning to limp towards the clearing where the Stargate was located.

Turning to Teal'c, who had been standing nearby, O'Neill asked, "I thought it was funny. Wasn't that funny?"

"Indeed you did O'Neill, but I think Major Carter disagrees with you. " With that said, the large Jaffa warrior walked past him towards the Stargate, leaving O'Neill to stare after his retreating form.

"Man…nobody thought that was funny but me?" he said to thin air. Shaking his head, he turned and waved good-bye to the group of villagers that had gathered, "So long folks, we'll be in touch," and he started after his other team members.

Reaching the opened Stargate, where Carter and Teal'c were waiting, he walked past them to enter shimmering pool, as he passed Carter he said. "If I were you I'd get Frasier to check out that bite Carter."

"I plan to sir," she answered back.

O'Neill nodded, stepping through the gate followed by Carter then Teal'c.

Exiting on the other side into the SGC gate room, they walked down the ramp to meet General Hammond.

"Did everything go as planned Colonel?" the General asked.

"Yes Sir…worked out a nice deal with them, did pretty good to if I say so myself, even without Daniel's help. It will all be in my report Sir," O'Neill answered.

Sam limped past the two men. "Headed to the infirmary Carter?" O'Neill asked as she passed.

"Yes Sir," she replied and limped out the door.

"Colonel?" General Hammond asked.

"Umm…that will be in my report too Sir," O'Neill remarked.

"Very well, de-briefing at 0300 then, dismissed." Hammond said and turned to leave the gate room.

From behind a screen, Sam passed her clothing to a waiting nurse, "It isn't funny Janet." she remarked.

"But Sam…you have to admit it's kind of funny," she said trying to control her laughter.

"No…it's embarrassing, not funny," Sam grumbled lying down on the gurney.

Janet began cleaning the bite marks on Sam's posterior and began applying stitches to the deeper bites, giggling at the whole situation.

"How was I supposed to know that thing was dangerous? It looked so cute and helpless." she groaned and flinched as Janet hit a sensitive spot, "Hey…careful," she told Janet.

"Well you'll remember this the next time you try and pet some strange animal." Janet laughed applying a dressing to the wound after finishing with the stitches.

"I'm going to remember it every time I sit down." Sam mumbled.

Janet could not control it any longer; she doubled over laughing. "Oh Sam…look at it this way…" she said wiping the tears from her eyes, "there's one happy critter on that planet because it got a piece of your ass." With that comment, she doubled over laughing again.

Rolling off the gurney Sam carefully pulled on scrub bottoms. Looking down at Janet she remarked, "If you don't stop laughing about it, you won't be getting a piece of it any time soon." With that said, she limped past Janet and left the infirmary.

Janet stared after the retreating form and muttered, "Oh crap."

Sam limped her way down the corridor to the mess hall. 'Maybe a snack would help me feel better.' she thought.

Entering the mess hall, she heard the sound of laughter coming from the corner table. Jack was busy recounting the whole story to Daniel, who had not been there.

"So there was Carter, reaching down to pet this harmless looking creature," Jack said, "the next thing you know it went all psycho and started after her." He had to stop and laugh as he remembered the incident. "She takes off running and it jumps, latching onto her rear end."

"Jack that's not funny." Daniel said to the laughing man.

"Oh yes it was." Jack said still laughing.

Just then, Daniel noticed Sam was standing by the door. "Umm… Jack maybe you should stop telling the story now." he said pointing towards Sam.

Turning to look in the direction Daniel was pointing he saw his second-in-command standing there with a pissed off look on her face. "So Carter…how's your ass feeling?" Jack asked, and then realized it was not such a good idea as he watched Carter's face turn an angry shade of red.

"Just fine Sir." she said through gritted teeth. Turning around she limped out of the mess hall.

"Oh damn…that was not good was it?" Jack asked looking at Daniel.

"No Jack…I don't think it was." Daniel said rising from his seat, "I'll go after her."

Just then, Janet came into the mess hall, seeing the two men she walked over. "Have you seen Sam? I need to tell her something." she asked them.

"She was just here; didn't you pass her in the corridor?" Daniel replied.

"No…" looking at the two men, "did she say where she was going?" she asked.

"Well…" Jack began, "she didn't look like she was in the mood to tell us."

"What did you do?" Janet asked, knowing that the colonel had probably picked on Sam about the whole incident.

"I just asked her how her ass felt." Jack replied sheepishly.

Janet just rolled her eyes at him, she turned around and started to go look for Sam, on the way to the door, she grabbed Sam's favorite blue treat from the dessert shelf. 'Might as well bring a peace offering, it just might help' she thought as she exited the mess hall.

'Okay…I just missed her in there and I didn't pass her in the corridor, where could she be?' Janet thought as she stood in the hallway. Noticing the supply closet door she shook her head and went to it. Opening the door, she turned on the light, there standing slumped in the corner was Sam.

Wiping tears from her face, Sam straightened from her position against the wall. "Oh...hey Janet…were you looking for something?" she asked

"Yes…and I found it." Janet replied as she walked up to Sam. Bringing her hand around from her back, she showed Sam her offering.

"I'm sorry for laughing at you. You were right it wasn't funny; forgive me?" she asked holding out the blue jell-o to Sam.

Sam laughed at the doctor, "Jell-o makes everything better." she said as she accepted the treat. "I guess I just let it get to me, I'm not used to being the butt of every ones jokes," she said with a grin.

Janet just stared at her. "See… you did think it was funny." she finally said.

"Yeah…I will admit it was funny; after the fact, just took awhile for it to sink in. But I still don't like being laughed at." Sam replied.

"Well, let's go home and I'll help you forget all about it." Janet remarked with a grin of her own.

"Is that doctor's orders?" Sam asked as they were leaving the closet.

"I can definitely say that's a yes, but there are conditions. We'll work those out when we get home." Janet replied smiling.

Sam went to the base early the next day; SG-1 was not scheduled for a mission until later on that afternoon but she had decided to catch up on some work in her lab. Walking down the corridor to the lab, she grinned at the thought of the special "conditions" Janet had enforced last night. Having a hot relaxing bath and one's own personal masseuse had not been bad at all, she thought. She barely had a limp this morning and the injury really only bothered her when she had to sit for long periods, but Janet had solved that problem also; she had given Sam a nice fluffy pillow from home to sit on while in her lab.

Reaching her doorway and keying in the code, she entered her lab; stopping for a moment, she glanced around at what could only be termed the controlled chaos that was her workspace. Bits and pieces of different gadgets and artifacts from other planets were scattered everywhere, not to mention the huge piles of paperwork she had yet to complete.

"Oh brother…when did I turn into Daniel? This is definitely starting to look like his workspace," she muttered to herself.

With a loud sigh, she walked over to the counter, placed her pillow on the stool and began to sort through all the objects in front of her. After what seemed like hours of cataloging pieces of machinery and other strange miscellaneous items, and placing them in bins for easy access Sam sat down finally on her pillow covered stool to tackle the mound of paperwork.

"Does this stuff multiply magically? I really don't remember having this much unfinished paperwork," she grumbled while sorting through the papers.

She soon discovered why she had so much to sort through, "Dammit Jack! I am not your personal secretary!" Sam exclaimed as she realized Jack had been leaving his paperwork mixed in with hers in the hopes she would fill it out.

"This is a new low…even for him," she muttered. Sorting through it and separating all the paperwork that she needed to complete from what he had left, Sam ended up with a much smaller pile for her and a rather large pile to put back on Jack's desk.

Having been sitting for awhile now she was beginning to get a little sore, even with the pillow, standing and stretching her shoulders, wincing a little from the soreness from her rear she decided to move around a bit. Walking to the sink, she filled a pitcher with some water and went to give some to her plants.

"Hey wittle babies…how are you today? Want a drinkie? Good wittle girls…you're so big."

A loud guffaw came from the doorway; Sam whirled around, finding the Colonel doubled over, laughing hard.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

"You…that…" he sputtered.

"What? I'm talking to my plants." Sam said.

" I knew you talked to them but not like that!" he said. "A grown woman baby talking… to plants! I have to tell somebody!" with that, he walked away laughing loudly.

"Dammit…he's going to tease me about this too. This has so not been my week," Sam muttered. "Sheesh… he startled me and I forgot to give back all that paperwork he left," she groaned as she finished watering her plants, "I'll just have to figure out how to get into his office before we leave," she said with an evil grin.

Sam glanced at the wall clock, 'Wow… she thought, 'time flew by fast, time for pre-mission check-ups.' Grabbing the pile of paperwork from the counter, "I'll get Janet to put this on Jack's desk after we leave, it will be bigger surprise for him that way," she said chuckling to herself as she locked the door and headed towards the infirmary.

Sam had almost reached it when she met Daniel and Jack in the corridor.

"Hi Sam…," Daniel greeted her, "Janet's waiting on you. In fact she asked me to go get you but I guess I don't need to now," he said grinning.

"Yeah…sorry about that I was straightening up and time got away from me." Sam replied. The whole time she was talking to Daniel, Jack just stood there with a smile on his face.

"Is there something you wanted to say Sir?" she asked him.

"No…no…everything's just fine Carter. Come on Daniel let's get our gear together," he replied grabbing Daniel by the arm and dragging him down the corridor. Daniel just gave a shrug and waved as they disappeared around a corner.

Sam shook her head and entered the infirmary where she was met by the chief medical officer who just pointed towards a screened off section of beds. 'Oh boy…what did I do now?' Sam thought as she walked behind the screens. Laying the stack of papers on the gurney, she started to sit but before she could, two arms encircled her from behind in a hug. Turning around while still engulfed in Janet's hug Sam asked, "Okay…what's that for and why the screens."

"Well the screens were so I could check your little injury, I didn't think you wanted the staff to be staring at your cute rear end, I know I sure don't and they let me do this," she said as she continued the hug, ending it with a kiss to her lover's lips. "Besides you're going to be gone for three days and if you think I'm waiting until you get back for a proper kiss, you're crazy," Janet finished with a grin.

"Well in that case Dr Frasier, I think I have a slight tickle in my throat, would you care to check on it for me?" Sam said grinning as she bent her head and covered Janet's lips with her own. After a few minutes of intense exploration, they came back up for air.

"Everything appears to be in order Major Carter," Janet commented still breathless, "now strip so I can check out the rest of you," the doctor said with a grin.

"Yes ma'am." Sam replied, as she began to undress.

Janet proceeded to run through the battery of pre-mission tests ending with a bandage change for Sam's souvenir from her last mission. "Now Sam…please try and be more careful this time out. No petting strange animals and no talking to plants," Janet said with a chuckle.

Sam just groaned, "That's why Jack had that smile on his face. He told you about me talking to my plants?"

"Yes, he did, but I already knew you did that so he didn't get a laugh from me," Janet replied as she finished with the bandage, "okay all done, you can get dressed now. As much as I hate to see that happen, you have an hour to get ready to go," she told Sam as she glanced at her watch.

Sam rolled off the gurney and began dressing, "Hey Janet…can you do me a favor?"

"Sure…what do you need?" Janet replied.

"Put this pile of paperwork in the middle of Jack's desk after we leave. He tried to worm it in with mine, thinking I would finish it," Sam remarked.

"Oh that was sneaky; I bet this will be a nice surprise for him when you guys get back. I'll be sure to do it before I leave tonight," Janet said.

"Thanks…I have to go now, but before I do…" Sam gave the doctor one more long kiss, "that will have to hold you until I get back," she said after ending the kiss. "Love you…see you in three days," she said quickly and started for the door.

Before Sam could exit, Janet called out, "Please be careful."

Sam turned in the doorway and gave Janet a big smile, "Yes ma'am!" she blurted out and saluted as she disappeared out the door. Leaving Janet to stand there, shaking her head and grinning at her lover's antics.

Precisely one hour later Sam walked into the gate room, packed and ready to go. The rest of the team was already there and as soon as she appeared the colonel gave the signal for the gate to be dialed. The event horizon appeared with its customary kawoosh and the mission was a go.

"Alright folks let's get going so Daniel can play in the dirt," Jack remarked as they walked up the ramp and through the gate.

Exiting the event horizon on PX6-453, the three were met by nothing but the sounds of birds; they walked down the stone ramp, to give Teal'c enough room to maneuver the rover carrying their equipment through the gate, after he had exited as well, they gathered around the MALP. It was positioned in the same place it had been since arriving and there where no signs of anyone else having been in the gate clearing.

O'Neill glanced around the clearing, "Well this is probably the best place to set up camp. Aren't the ruins the drone found not far from here?" he asked Daniel.

"Yes Jack…they can't be more than a couple of miles from the gate that way," Daniel answered pointing.

"Okay then…Carter, you and Teal'c can play happy campers and get everything set up while I escort Daniel to get a look at the ruins. That okay with everybody?" O'Neill asked looking at Sam.

"Fine with me Sir, I have some equipment that needs to be set up to monitor the…"

Jack cut off her sentence with a wave of his hand, "You don't need to elaborate Carter, and it wouldn't make any sense to me anyway. Okay…let's go Daniel, Carter's fine here with her science gizmos. Teal'c keep an eye open for any signs of natives," Jack remarked as he headed off in the direction Daniel had pointed to a few minutes earlier.

"We'll keep in radio contact Sam, call you when we get there," Daniel said as he hurried after Jack.

Sam watched as they disappeared into the trees, 'Something's up with those two, I just know it,' she thought to herself as she turned to the rover and began to unload her equipment.

While Sam unloaded the scientific equipment, Teal'c cleared a section of ground for their tents and campfire. After she had finished unloading things, Sam helped him to set up the tents and stake out the perimeter, walking a short distance into the wooded area surrounding the gate they also gathered sufficient firewood to last the night.

Once the necessary tasks where completed Sam began searching for the best place to set up the equipment she had brought. They were hoping the planet contained many resources they could use to help supplement their existing ones. It was Sam's task to test for mineral deposits and possible energy sources.

Sam turned to where Teal'c had positioned himself to guard for any visitors, "Teal'c have you seen any signs that this part of the forest might be inhabited?" she asked the Jaffa warrior.

"I have not Major Carter. It appears there have been no signs of recent activity in the vicinity of the Stargate, other than animals and ourselves," he answered.

"Well someone had to have been here once for there to be ruins. Maybe the Colonel and Daniel will find something," Sam remarked as she finished setting up the monitoring station.

"Indeed Major Carter," commented Teal'c

Sam chuckled at the favored saying of her teammate. "Daniel or the Colonel should have checked in by now," she remarked. Clicking on her radio, she spoke, "Carter to O'Neill…Colonel do you read me?"

"O'Neill here…everything's fine Carter. We just reached the ruins and Daniel is acting like a kid in a candy store. I'll try and drag him away before it starts to get dark," replied O'Neill.

Sam answered, "Okay Sir…let us know when you head back. We'll have food ready when you get here, over."

"Gotcha Carter…hey… I want chicken…please tell me they packed the chicken MREs, over," O'Neill almost sounded whiney.

"How could they not Sir, it is all you ever ask for," Sam chuckled silently, "Carter over and out Sir."

"Good…O'Neill out," he replied.

"Sounds like Daniel is happy," Sam said to Teal'c.

"Daniel Jackson is easily distracted by many things ancient," Teal'c commented as he passed by her to begin a circuit of the perimeter.

Sam just laughed and continued to adjust the equipment monitoring for energy sources. So far, nothing was being detected but you never could tell in an alien environment what might show up, experience had taught her that. 'I bet they don't make it back until well after dark, Daniel can really get engrossed in what he's studying and Jack will let him get away with it just so he can goof off.' she thought with a shake of her head.

Leaving the equipment she wandered over to the campsite and began to unpack her gear, setting up all the essentials; sleeping bag, toiletries, a manual to look over and her flashlight, where all laid out on the floor of her tent. Smiling as she reached the bottom of her pack Sam pulled out the pillow Janet had given her that morning.

"Three days…might as well be comfortable while I sleep. There's no way I'm sitting on this around Jack, I'd never hear the end of it," Sam laughed, "end of it, bad pun Sam," she said to herself still laughing. Finishing with her things, Sam went check on the monitoring station.

Sure enough, a couple of hours after nightfall Jack walked into the campsite, Daniel appeared out of the darkness covered in dirt and dust; every now and again, he would let out a loud sneeze.

"Jack…if you had held onto that rope better this wouldn't have happened," Daniel said as he walked straight to his backpack and started searching for more tissues and some clean clothes, he then disappeared into the darkness again.

Sam looked at the Colonel, "What happened?" she asked.

"Danny boy here decided to do a little spelunking, except he didn't have anything to tie the rope to but me. It slipped, he fell down the hole…go boom…end of story," O'Neill answered her, "It wasn't that deep, he's okay just dirty."

Another loud sneeze came from the direction of the stream next to the camp; Daniel soon reappeared, with wet hair and clean clothes on. "I still say it was your fault Jack," remarked Daniel as he caught another sneeze with his towel. Sitting down next to Sam, he picked up a MRE, opened it and began to eat.

"Yeah well, tomorrow we can take the big man over there with us and you can use him as your anchor," O'Neill said pointing to Teal'c.

"I would be glad to assist Daniel Jackson with his exploring," Teal'c said, "here is your chicken O'Neill," he said passing another MRE to the Colonel.

They finished eating the meals in silence, after everyone had finished things continued to stay quiet; the only sounds were the noises of night creatures and the popping of wood in the fire. Sam thought, 'This is ridiculous, I'm going to sleep.'

"Well I'm turning in, I have to start taking mineral samples tomorrow, see you guys in the morning," she said standing to go to her tent.

"Goodnight Major Carter," said Teal'c.

"Night Sam, I think I'm turning in too," Daniel said, rising to head to his tent.

"Well I guess I'll go sleep as well," O'Neill remarked, "Teal'c wake me for second watch will ya," he said walking passed the Jaffa.

"Very well O'Neill," Teal'c replied.

Soon Teal'c was left to sit by the fire, keeping a watchful eye on the perimeter while the rest of his teammates slumbered.

The next two days passed rather uneventfully, Teal'c and O'Neill took turns helping Daniel with his explorations, when one was not with Daniel they were with Sam, keeping a watch out for native inhabitants even though they had still found no recent traces of any, it was always best to be on the safe side.

On the third and final day, Sam and Teal'c were gathering some last minute samples from a ridgeline located above the gate clearing. Sam had climbed out onto a small ledge and was trying to pry a promising piece of metallic material from the dirt. Suddenly the rock gave way beneath her feet and she began to slide down the side of the incline.

'Whoa…Teal'c!" she called out.

Teal'c appeared on the ridge, "Major Carter!" he called out, but there was nothing he could do but watch has Sam continued to slide and sometimes roll down the incline, coming to a stop at the bottom in a huge cloud of dust. He quickly proceeded to half crawl and half slide down the incline after her. Reaching the bottom, he kneeled beside her.

"Major Carter are you injured?" he asked as he started to help her sit.

'I'm fine Teal'c just got the wind knocked out of me mostly, well that and some nasty rock burn," she said laughing as she held up her skint hands, "and I have dirt in places you really don't need to know about." she continued as he helped her to stand.

Trying to brush off some of the dirt she soon realized she had lost yet another pair of pants as she felt the huge rip in the seat of her uniform. "Crap! This is the second pair of pants in a week I've torn up," she exclaimed, Sam soon realized something else,

She had torn her stitches open from her previous injury.

"I think we can call it quits here Teal'c, let's head back to camp and start packing up; well after I get changed and clean this up. If I show back up at the SGC all ripped up and with dirty wounds Janet will kill me," she said laughing.

"Indeed…Dr. Frasier would be most displeased you failed to properly care for your injury." Teal'c said to her with a raise of his eyebrow, "I shall begin to breakdown the camp while you tend to your wounds."

Limping back to camp alongside the Jaffa, Sam realized she was more bruised up then she had thought at first, she might have even pulled something. Reaching the camp they separated with Sam heading to her tent to grab some new pants and a clean t-shirt, she limped her way to the stream. Looking back, she realized the view to the camp was a bit to clear, as close as she was to her teammates; seeing her nude was not something she wanted to share with them and it was definitely going to take stripping to get all the dirt out of the wound. Walking a little further upstream, she discovered a secluded pool among some rocks.

'Just what I need,' she thought. Stripping out of her torn and dirty uniform, she eased her way into the pool, sinking into it up to her neck. She soon managed to get most of the dirt off her and was quite sure she had gotten it out o f the torn open injury. "That will have to do until I get back home," she muttered to herself, "Janet's still gonna kill me, okay maybe not kill me. but oh boy will she mad; I go away for three days and come back in worse shape then when I left," she continued to grumble to herself as she climb out of the pool.

Just as she reached for her towel and her clothes, a crude spear appeared next to her outstretched hand. Freezing in place she looked up, dropping from the trees was a group men that resembled one of Earth's pygmy tribes. "Oh…boy…" she said quietly under her breath.

Soon the large group of very short men, all carrying wicked looking spears, surrounded her. Sam attempted to pick up her towel but her hand was slapped away with the butt of a spear. 'Oh this is so not good,' she thought as she stood to her full height.

Several of the men began jabbering to each other in some strange language, pointing at her and gesturing wildly with their hands. Sam stood still with her arms crossed over her chest, "Who am I kidding, like it makes a difference now," she muttered to herself, as she put her arms down by her sides. 'Where's Teal'c when I need him,' she thought.

The talking men soon stopped and pointed to her, they began jabbering something at her.

"Look…I don't know what you're trying to say, why don't you let me get dressed…," She said as she tried reaching down for her clothing again, but this time a spear point was poked in her side, "hey!…ow!…cut that out!" she snapped at the man who had poked her.

Soon they all began to threaten her with the spears, taking it as a hint, she began walking in the direction she was being nudged. Soon they had traveled deep into the forest. Sam was trying her best to keep up but was having problems with her being barefoot, every time she stopped to try to rub her foot she was prodded again to keep moving. Eventually they come to a surrounded by huge trees. Looking up Sam saw that there were several walkways connecting the trees and there were huts built among the branches. 'No wonder we found no signs of them, they live in the trees. I bet they hardly stay on the ground long enough to leave tracks.' she thought as they nudged her along again. 'How do they get up there?' she wondered as they moved along. That question was soon answered as she watched one of the men appear to crawl up the tree, "Hey, how did he do that?" she asked forgetting for the moment no one could understand her. Her outburst earned her another jab this time in her wounded rear end.

Whirling around, fists balled up she yelled, "Would you stop doing that!"

She soon realized her mistake of yelling when all the spears were turned on her once more and this time the looks on the men's faces where not good. "Okay…sorry," she said holding up her hands. They continued to move her along finally reaching a wooden slab. Four of the men each picked up a corner and moved the piece of wood off what appeared to be a deep hole, a deep hole with a mildly fruity smell to it. She was poked again, this time they urged her towards the hole.

"Hey…wait a minute! I'm not going in there!" she exclaimed. After another hard jab in the side, she changed her mind, "Okay…I'm going…I'm going," she said nearing the edge, looking down she couldn't see the bottom; but there was something liquid in it, light reflecting off the surface; Sam hesitated but when she was jabbed again she just took a deep breath and dropped into the hole. Where she landed with a splash, up to her waist in what appeared to be wine of some sort. They then placed the top back on the hole.

"This is just great, I'm naked, wet, cold and sticky!" she exclaimed in frustration, "and I have no idea if Teal'c even knows I'm missing!"

After what seemed hours of walking in circles in the hole Sam heard the sounds of staff blasts. "Teal'c! Teal'c!" she yelled as loud as possible.

Soon the wooden top was picked up and thrown to one side; the large form of Teal'c peered into the hole. "Major Carter…do you need assistance to climb out?" he asked.

"Just give me your damn hand Teal'c," growled Sam.

As he lifted her up out of the hole, she tried her hardest to look baleful, but Teal'c had that little half smile on his face and she just could not hold her anger.

"Not a word," she warned, trying not to laugh as she hastily dressed in the clothing he had so thoughtfully brought with him.

"Indeed Major Carter," but the half smile was still on his face.

"I mean it Teal'c not a word," she told him, "Jack and Daniel don't need to know this happened. right?"

"I did not inform them you had disappeared, but instead chose to track you myself as quickly as possible, they need not ever know, if that is your wish," the Jaffa warrior replied.

"Good…I'm going to have a hard enough time trying to explain it to Janet," Sam grumbled as they left the clearing and headed back towards the gate.

When they reached the gate clearing Sam realized Teal'c had packed up all of the gear and even had taken down her equipment; turning to him she just gave him a puzzled look.

"I thought it best to ready everything for departure while you were attending to your injuries, when I realized exactly how long you had been gone I went to investigate. That is when I found your clothing and the signs of many tracks leading away from the pool." he remarked.

"You even broke down my monitoring equipment?" she asked.

"I watched you assemble it Major Carter, it was not that difficult to take apart correctly."

"Thank you Teal'c…for that and for the rescue," Sam said to the large man.

Teal'c just bowed his head towards her, looking up he said," O'Neill and Daniel Jackson are approaching, I suggest we ready for departure."

Sam turned and saw that O'Neill and Daniel had almost reached the clearing; she quickly grabbed her backpack and hoisted it onto her shoulders.

"Alright folks… everybody ready to leave this lovely tree filled planet?

Sam dialed the DHD and when the gate opened, she sent their identity code through, "After you Sir," she told the colonel.

"Home sweet home, here we come," O'Neill said as he walked up the ramp and into the gate horizon. Daniel followed him with Teal'c and Sam bringing up the rear with the rover and MALP.

Returning to the SGC all Sam wanted to do was take a long hot shower and try to get clean before going home. Walking down the corridor to the showers, she kept trying to figure out just how she was going to explain this one to Janet.

"This has just not been my week," she mumbled as she entered the shower room. Once there she realized the plan of cleaning up at the base was not going to happen. It appeared SG-1 was not the only team returning that day. The female members of SG-7 were already in the locker room preparing to hit the showers.

"Oh this is just perfect." Sam muttered.

She walked over to her locker; removing her vest and gun belt, she placed them in it.

"Hey Major Carter…how was your mission?" asked one of the SFs from SG-7 as she walked past Carter to the showers.

"Oh …fine. Same old, same old, nothing exciting." the major replied.

"Well that's good then I guess. You going to hit the showers?" the woman asked.

"Ah…no, I think I want to take a long soak. I'm just going to go straight home after the de-briefing." Sam replied.

"Cool…catch you later," replied the SF as she went into the showers.

Waiting until all the women had entered the showers, she quickly changed her dirty uniform for a clean jumpsuit. Sam thought to herself, 'Now I just have to make it through the de-briefing and then get home before Janet.'

After the de-briefing she slipped out before anyone could ask her to do anything or go somewhere for the usual after mission drink. Avoiding the infirmary, she traveled down the corridor to the elevator. Just as the door was closing, a hand appeared stopping them.

"Hey Carter…want to go grab a beer?" O'Neill asked as he joined her in the elevator.

"Umm…no Sir. I was going to head on home and have a long soak. I'm feeling a little stiff. I think I might have pulled something during that climb I made to get those last samples." she quickly replied.

He nodded, "Ah…okay. Well maybe next time huh?"

"Yes Sir…next time." she answered as the elevator came to a stop at the top floor. "Bye Sir." she said as she exited.

Knowing that Janet was due to be relieved soon she quickly walked to her motorcycle, pulling on her helmet she started up the big Indian. With its engine rumbling loudly she drove past the checkpoint and made her way home.

Upon reaching the house she shared with the doctor, Sam parked her motorcycle in the garage and entered through its door into the house. Stopping for a moment she listened carefully, the sounds of music could be heard coming from upstairs. 'Good…Cassie's in her room.' she thought as she went up the stairs to the master bedroom. Entering the bathroom, she started filling up the tub with water at the hottest temperature she could handle and added all sorts of bath salts. 'Maybe this will help get this gunk off me.' she thought.

Stripping out of her jumpsuit and underclothes, she tested the water with one foot; liking the temperature she quickly got in and started to soak. Grabbing a loofa sponge she soaped it up and started scrubbing, trying to get the purple stain to come off.

Just then, she heard the sound of someone entering the bedroom. "Mom? Sam?…Are you in there?" Cassie's voice said from the bedroom.

"It's me Cass…I'm just soaking in the tub," Sam called out.

"Okay…just checking, I thought I heard someone come in. See you when you get out," Cassie replied as she left the bedroom.

Sam continued to work on the stains, "Oh boy…this stuff isn't coming off. Why does this always happen to me?" she whined as she scrubbed.

Soon she had scrubbed so much it felt like she had taken off a layer of skin, giving up she lay back in to tub with a wet cloth over her face, grumbling to herself. Once again, she heard the sound someone entering the bedroom.

"Sam? Are you okay? Jack said you thought you pulled something," Janet asked as she leaned against the doorjamb.

Sitting up, Sam replied, "Ah…no, I'm fine. I just didn't feel like hanging out with them after the mission."

"Well when you didn't come by the infirmary for your post mission check-up I got worried so I left a little early. Want some company in there?" Janet asked with a grin as she stood in the doorway.

"Umm…nope. I was just going to get out actually, starting to get a little wrinkly." she replied with a small laugh.

"Well then…" Janet remarked," I can help you dry off, besides I need to take a look at your little souvenir left by that crazy critter." grabbing a towel she walked over to the side of the tub, "well come on…stand up and let Doc Frasier exam you." she said grinning.

"Umm… it's fine Janet. Healing nicely...no problems." Sam said still sitting in the tub.

"Stand up Sam." Janet ordered. 'She's hiding something from me.' thought Janet.

Hanging her head and sighing loudly, Sam stood in the tub, water and soap streaming from her lithe form.

Janet just stared speechless for a moment. "Sam? Would you like to explain why you're purple from the waist down?" she asked trying hard not to laugh at the wet woman.

Taking a deep breath Sam mumbled, "I kind of got captured by some natives and thrown into a hole full of fermenting wine."

"That wasn't in the mission report." Janet said shaking her head.

"Umm… I asked Teal'c not to say anything, he kind of rescued me." Sam replied.

Wrapping the towel around Sam's naked form, Janet moved to the side so she could get out. "Why didn't you include it in the report?" she asked as she dried her lover off.

Sam let out a groan and replied, "I didn't want to give Jack anything else to tease me about; it's been a rough enough week as it is."

"Why would he tease you about being captured?" Janet asked as she finished and gave Sam her robe to put on.

Sam just groaned again, "Well I was kind of naked at the time." she said all in one breathe.

"What!" Janet just looked at her in shock, "How? What happened?"

"I kind of took a tumble down a cliff and was covered in dirt and I busted my stitches,"

Sam said the last part in a rush knowing Janet would insist upon checking them, "But its fine…I took care of it. Anyway, I was cleaning up in this pool upstream from camp and the next thing I know these little men with spears surrounded me. They didn't give me a chance to grab my clothes or much of a choice about it either. They poked and prodded me towards their village and made me get into this huge hole." Sam said remembering the embarrassing event.

"It seemed like I had been in it forever when Teal'c showed up, scared them away and pulled me out. He had my clothes with him and I made him swear not to tell the Colonel or Daniel about the whole thing." Sam finally finished with her story.

"Awww…my poor Sammy." Janet said grinning, "You just aren't having a good week. I guess I'll have to find a way to make it better," she said as she leaned forward and gave Sam a kiss. "Why don't you go lie down and I'll take a quick shower. I'll make you feel better soon," she said as she began undressing.

Sam gave her a quick kiss and went to lie down on the bed. Letting the water from Sam's bath out Janet started the shower running. Removing her uniform and underwear, she climbed in the shower. Standing under the hot water, she suddenly felt arms encircle her waist turning she faced Sam.

"Thought you were going to lie down?" she asked with a grin.

Sam shrugged, "Figured I could wash your back, well that and maybe you could try to scrub some spots I missed." she replied grinning at Janet.

"Hmm…I'm good at finding missed spots." Janet replied with a wink.

The sounds of water running and two women laughing were all that could be heard for a long time.

The End

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