DISCLAIMER: The Bond universe is the creation of Ian Fleming. The L Word and its characters belong to Ilene Chaiken and Showtime. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to Ann for the beta and not laughing at the pairing.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Bette Porter was in a foul mood. Jodi had stormed out on her that morning, following a misunderstanding over her lingering feelings for Tina, and then later that afternoon, she'd had a shouting match with Tina after she'd accidentally slept with her, again, without breaking up with her other girlfriend. Now, to make matters worse, she was stuck in the Art Department's basement with some woman who reminded her far too much of Helena at her most seductive.
"Now, isn't this romantic," Jane drawled. "Just the two of us, alone in the dark."
Bette would write to the head of the college to complain, most forcefully, about the state of the locks on their lower basements; there was absolutely no logical reason for a storage area to have a self-locking device. "Who are you?"
"My name's Bond, Jane Bond."
The condescending look Bette bestowed on the other woman was one of her best; she was only sorry that the poor lighting had diffused some of its effect. "I think someone's seen too many James Bond movies."
Jane felt the hairs at the back of her neck stand to attention. "You know my father?"
She's even more deranged than Jenny, Bette thought, unless, "Did Helena put you up to this?" It wasn't really Helena's style, but she'd been spending so much time with Alice lately that Bette couldn't overlook the possibility.
Jane had known quite a few Helenas over the years, but none of them had been responsible for her little jaunt to California. "I'm here to confer with Professor Graldise on a matter of utmost importance."
"She died last week." Bette's suspicions were growing by the second. "Who are you, really?"
"Jane Bond." Most spies liked to assume different guises when they were working, but the Bonds had always found that their name carried a certain amount of weight in the criminal world and, unless absolutely necessary, they hated to part with it. "And you are?"
"Bette Porter, I'm the dean of -"
"Ah, yes, Ms Porter." Even in the semi-darkness, Bette could detect the gleam in Jane's eyes. "I've heard a lot about you."
"That you're a woman of principle, who's a little too pigheaded for her own good," Jane began. "Not to mention outspoken and utterly gorgeous."
Bette planned to find whoever was talking about her and have their lips sealed together with super-glue. She was not pigheaded, she just knew when she was right, and it was hardly her fault if she was right most of the time. "Do you have a cell phone?" She decided to change the subject. "I've left mine in my office, but if I could borrow yours for a second, I can have James come down and let us out."
"My mobile's in the car." Jane looked far too happy. "So, I guess we'll just have to keep each other amused until someone arrives to check on the collection tomorrow."
Bette couldn't stay locked in the basement all night; Jodi would throw a fit if she wasn't home in time for dinner, and she'd promised Tina that she'd pop over to her place on the way home to discuss the brochures they'd received from Angelica's top three pre-schools, not to mention the make-up sex they always indulged in after one of their not-infrequent arguments. "You have to get us out of here."
"Why the rush?" One of the other things Jane had heard about Ms Porter was her love of the ladies, and considering her flight home wasn't until noon the next day, she was in no hurry to leave. "There's a certain survivalist charm to being locked away together, don't you think?"
"No." Jane was extremely attractive, and her resemblance to Helena did add a certain wicked appeal, but Bette already had more than enough on her plate. "We need to get out of here."
"I suppose some women just aren't into commitment free fun," Jane sighed in a tone she knew to be irresistible.
Bette felt her knees go weak at the tone. "Commitment free?" Not that she would ever contemplate cheating on Jodi, at least with anyone other than Tina, but it had been such a long time since she'd been able to throw caution to the wind and simply ravish another woman, without it turning into some melodramatic opera, that she was sorely tempted. "Are you sure Helena didn't put you up to this?"
It was madness, total and utter madness. "Take off your clothes," she ordered.
Jane smiled, before turning to pin the other woman against the wall. "You first."
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