DISCLAIMER: The characters of CSI belong to Jerry and Co. The song 'I Shall Believe' belongs to Sheryl Crow and Bill Bottrell. I make no money from them nor do I make much in my actual job so suing would only give you a few hundred dollars.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

By Corbeau's Alcove

Rain pours down, my tears following. I stand outside your place not sure where I should go. I saw him enter your house, I'm not stupid. What could you have ever seen in me?

I always did my best. I ate all my greens; applied myself at school. When other teenagers were trying to find out what sex was like I was studying. Why am I the one always getting hurt?

The endless pain rattles throughout my entire body, hitting the hole that used to be my heart. Case after case the ugliness rises to the top and once again I wonder why we bother living. Where is the goodness in this world?

I'm still standing in the rain, my body soaked, my tears dried up when he leaves. You see me.


You usher me inside. I'm dripping on the floor but you don't care. I'm melting at the sight of you everyday but you don't notice.

** Come to me now and lay your hands over me **

Your hands cover me, peel off my clothes. I stop you. Your hands are cold.

** Even if it's a lie, say it will be alright and I shall believe **

"Let me Sara," you whisper.

I'm lost when I'm with you. I can't find anything to say. Can't you see these feelings spilling out of me?

** I'm broken in two and I know you are onto me **

"Talk to me Sara," you plead. I stand there shivering, hoping the cold will claim me

** But I do believe that not everything is gonna be the way you think it ought to be **

"Leave me alone," I say in an ironic request.

"Shower and hot chocolate then bed," she commands.

"I shouldn't have come here." I say sadly, wishing I could burn my memories from my mind.

** It seems like every time I try to make it right it all comes down on me **

"I want you here." Catherine says softly, my clothes now on the ground, my body exposed to her.

** Please say honestly you won't give up on me and I shall believe **

"Catherine?" I ask but not sure what the question is.

"Shower Sara, come." You say, your trembling hand the only sign you're not in complete control.

** And I shall believe **

Why did I come here and why can't I leave?

** Open the door and show me your face tonight **

"You need to get warm," she tells me as the hot water flies from the shower.

"I'm sorry," I whisper as you take me into your shower. You are fully clothed but you don't hesitate.

Your strong protecting arms wrap around me as I shiver. The contrast of cold to hot shocks my system briefly but I soon welcome the change.

"Let them out Sara, there is no shame," you whisper.

How you know that I need to cry should concern me but it doesn't.

** I know it's true, no one heals me like you and you hold the key **

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," I chant as you hold on tight.

"No apologies. I've wanted you to come to me for sometime now." You admit, your eyes falling onto mine.

"I'm not him," I spit out. I have no right to be angry yet I am.

"No you're not," Catherine agrees and I feel that one tiny bit of hope fall and get sucked into her shower drain.

Her hand lifts my head, her smile is perplexing to me.

"You are in a league above anyone. You are too good to be placed into a category."

Your lips are soft and trembling against mine. It feels so good to be here with you, to have you kissing me.

** Never again would I turn away from you **

I have to look into your eyes, just to make sure I'm not dreaming.

** I'm so heavy tonight but your love is alright and I do believe that not everything is gonna be the way you think it ought to be **

"What is this?" I ask nervously.

"I want you to be safe and loved Sara. I want to be that one who can make you smile when darkness is descending upon you."

"No, you don't mean that," I say sadly. I'm a broken shell, you cannot save me.

** It seems like every time I try to make it right it all comes down on me **

"Sshh, you are hurt but I can help you." She tells me kissing my lips once more.

** Please say honestly you won't give up on me and I shall believe **

"Are you sure?" I ask, not sure how we changed so fast.

"Yes, I wanted to tell you before but you were locked up in your pain and wouldn't allow it. I'm here for you no matter what. Your battles are now ours to take on together."

I pull your head down to my lips. We start slowly but the passion takes over and we consume each other. I think this time I may have found what I'm looking for and she stands in her shower, her clothes heavy against her body, her smile radiant.

** I shall believe and I shall believe **

"I believe you," I say, my lips once again finding hers.

The End

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