DISCLAIMER: Lost Girl was created by Michelle Lovretta and is Copyright © Canwest Global and Prodigy Pictures.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
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We're all at the Dal having drinks. Well, everyone being myself, Bo, Kenzi, Dyson and Hale.
I offered to buy the next round, so I'm waiting patiently at the bar while Trick serves another patron.
While I wait I watch our little group. Well truthfully, I watch Bo. Dyson reaches for her hand and their fingers interlace before he gently kisses the back of it. I have to look away.
I know I had my chance with Bo, I had it and I blew it. Since then the only time she's talked to me is to do with a case. I try and be happy for her and Dyson for giving it another try, but really, I just can't be around them.
It hurts too much.
Truth be told, I'm not ever sure what I'm doing here tonight. No matter what I do, I just don't seem to fit. I don't mean just now, it's always been that way.
I'm suddenly tired. All the fight has gone out of me and I want to be alone.
"Same again Lauren?"
I nod and then change my mind, "actually Trick, just make it one shot and three beers."
I lay my money on the bar as I plan my escape, "can you please have someone deliver them to the table."
I can feel his eyes on me, "sure."
As I get up from the barstool Trick takes my hand, "Lauren, are you ok?"
"Yeah Trick, I will be. Just need to get out of here, that's all."
He seems satisfied and lets me go. Without looking back I slip through the crowd to the door.
As Dom swings the door open for me, I'm hit with a cold blast of air. I decide against a cab and turn towards home.
I've been hyper aware of Lauren tonight, but that's nothing new. I'm always hyper aware of Lauren, it's like she's got some kind of damn tracking beacon that I'm tuned in to.
I'm still mad at what she did to me about the whole Vex situation. Mad and hurt, so I've been keeping things strictly business between us. But I know my resistance is futile and eventually I'll let her try and explain.
I watch her as she waits to be served at the bar. Something seems off, but I can't put my finger on it. I look at Dyson when he takes my hand and kisses the back of it, his desire burning bright. I gently remove my hand from his grip and when I glance back at Lauren I realise what's bothering me.
Normally Lauren is lit up like a Christmas tree. But as she sits at the bar talking to Trick, her energy is dull, there isn't even a flicker of brightness and it worries me.
Trick seems concerned too, but Lauren says something to him and he seems satisfied. As she steps away from the bar it takes a second for me to realise that she isn't heading back our way, but towards the door.
It pisses me off that she would leave without saying goodbye. I excuse myself and head out after her.
I nod to Dom as he opens the door for me and as I step outside all hell breaks loose.
I hear the screeching of car tires and several loud bangs, followed by screaming as people begin to panic.
Fighting my way through the crowd, I desperately look for Lauren. I figure she would have been heading towards her place so I follow in that direction.
Scanning the area as I go I stop dead in my tracks when I see her. She's laying on the pavement about ten feet in front of me, motionless.
I shove people out of the way as I run to her. Falling to my knees, I gently roll her onto her back and gasp. She's barely conscious and there is blood everywhere.
I gently shake her, "Lauren, can you hear me?"
Ripping a piece of my shirt, I ball it up and hold it to one of her wounds. As I press down firmly Lauren grunts and her eyes fly open.
The next thing I know, Trick and Kenzi are beside me. I always did have a knack for stating the obvious, "we need to stop the bleeding."
Trick pulls her shirt up to look at the damage, "Dyson and Hale have gone to get the car, we'll take her to the Ash." He looks worried, which isn't doing much to stop my sudden urge to freak out.
No sooner are the words out of his mouth than Hale pulls the car to a screeching halt next to where we are.
Without hesitation, I pick Lauren up and we all scramble for the car.
Hale is driving like a maniac with Dyson and Trick in the front, Kenzi, Lauren and I are in the back.
Lauren is leaning heavily against me, basically laying on my lap as Kenzi and I put pressure on the worst of her injuries.
Her eyes are unfocused and she is trying to talk. "Too. Much. Blood."
Her body begins to tremble as she goes into shock. As we speed through a red light, Lauren gently squeezes my hand. I look down at her and for a moment her eyes are clear and focused and I can she her love for me.
She smiles up at me before her eyes roll back in her head and her body goes limp.
Kenzi's got the door open before the car comes to a complete stop. Dyson races around to Kenzi's side of the car, picks Lauren up and is through the door before the rest of us are out of the car.
As I burst through the door of the compound, I see that the medical staff already have Lauren on a guerney, rushing her down the corridor. I recognise two of them as Lauren's assistants, Kate and Mark or Matt, what ever the hell his name is.
I easily catch up, my eyes never leaving Lauren as Kate climbs up on the side of the bed and begins chest compressions.
We're through one door and then another before we're stopped in our tracks by one of the nurses, "I'm sorry but we're taking her into surgery, you can't go any further."
They take Lauren through a set of large double doors and I try to follow, "I'm not leaving her."
The nurse steps in my path, takes me by the arm and leads me through a different door, "you can stay in here."
Everyone has followed me into what looks like some kind of viewing room. On the other side of a glass wall is a large room with medical equipment.
The doors to the room burst open and they wheel Lauren in. As one of the nurses cuts Lauren's shirt off, two others are hooking all sorts of machines up to her.
I feel sick when I realise they've hooked a heart monitor up to her and there is no activity. Kate grabs a crash cart and places the paddles on Lauren's chest, her body jolts but there is still nothing on the monitors.
They try again, but still nothing so they resume CPR.
I'm standing right in front of the window. Without realising it, I've put my hand on the glass, which, briefly fogs up every time I breath out.
Behind me and to the left I can hear Kenzi, "come on Doc, breath already."
Under the window, just in front of me I notice a switch, when I reach down and turn it on, the room is suddenly filled with the sounds coming from the next room.
Kate is yelling orders as she takes the paddles and holds them against Lauren, once again her body jolts. Finally, after what seems like forever, the heart monitor gives a single blip, followed by another and slowly but surely a regular beeping can be heard.
"Ok, we're going to have to go in and fix up any internal damage. Matt, you monitor her vitals when we put her under."
Kate moves towards us, "we're going to operate now, you guys might want to wait in the other room."
Kenzi appears at my side and gently takes me by the arm, "come on Bo, we'll wait next door while they do their doctory stuff."
I hesitate as I take in Lauren and the busy team of people working on her. I give Kate my best "you better not fuck up" stare and then let Kenzi guide me out the door.
Trick, Dyson and Hale left a couple of hours ago to try and figure out what went down at the Dal.
Kenzi and I have been sitting in the most uncomfortable chairs known to man while we wait for news of Lauren.
I've never been this far into the light fae compound before and I'm surprised to learn that they have a fully staffed hospital. I guess thinking about it, it makes sense. You can't really have fae being treated for their unique conditions in a human hospital if you want to keep your existance a secret.
Kenzi went and got cleaned up awhile ago. I just can't bring myself to wash Lauren's blood off me. Not yet anyway, not until I know she's going to be ok.
I don't know if the fact they've had her in the operating theatre for so long is good or bad. I'm about to go and find someone who can tell me when Kate comes striding through the double doors.
As she comes to a stop in front of us, Kenzi and I both stand. "Well, things were pretty bad there for awhile, but we've got her all patched up and hopefully everything will be ok."
I release the breath I'd been holding and try to focus on what Kate is saying. "The only thing I'm worried about is the length of time she flatlined. Her brain was without oxygen for a little while, so there is a small chance there may be some imparement, but we won't know until she wakes up."
I swallow hard as what Kate is saying sinks in, but I dismiss the possibility, Lauren is going to be just fine. "I want to see her."
Kate smiles, "I thought you might, follow me."
She leads us through several corridors before we stop in front of an Intensive Care Unit. Kenzi sits down on one of the chairs, "why don't you go in, I'll wait here ok."
I push through the doors and make my way over to Lauren's bed. There are all sorts of monitors surrounding the bed, with a heap of leads attached to various parts of Lauren's body.
The sight of Lauren so still and vulnerable is unsettling, but the regular beeping of the machines some how calms me.
I carefully lean over her and brush my lips against her forehead before pulling a chair over and sitting next to her bed.
I take her hand and interlace our fingers. Before when Dyson was holding my hand it felt strange. But now, when I look down at our joined hands, even with some of her blood still on me, our hands look natural together, beautiful.
I'm jerked awake by the ringing of my cell phone, I see it's Dyson calling, "hi."
"Hi, how is she?"
I look at the various machines, "she's doing ok."
"Listen Bo, we figured out what happened lastnight. One of the dark fae clans took out a hit on another clan they've been fueding with. Looks like Lauren got in the way of a drive by shooting."
That got my attention and I lean forward in the chair, "who was it?"
"Doesn't really matter now. The Ash has invoked his right to retribution. Because one of his humans was hurt, he can enact justice how he sees fit. Their lives were forfeited as soon as the first bullet hit her."
Holy crap. I have mixed feelings about it because even though I want them to pay for hurting her, I know Lauren wouldn't want them killed.
"I gotta go, I'll talk to you later."
"Are you sure you're ok Bo?"
I sigh, "I'm fine Dyson, I'll see you later." I hang up the phone before he can say anything else.
I'm not ok. I've been acting like a complete ass and I nearly lost the most important thing in my life because I was too proud to let her explain.
I mean I haven't exactly been treating her the way I should. I've been bouncing around between her and Dyson. I've rubbed my relationship with him in her face more than once with no regard for her feelings.
I have the sudden need to sort out my shit. I lean down, kiss her on the forehead and move to whisper in her ear, "I love you."
Holy fuck, what did I just say? That isn't what I'd meant to say to her at all. But as the words bounce around in my head I suddenly see that they are exactly what I meant.
"You wait right here, I'll be back."
I lay her hand back down on the bed and make my way to the door. Just before I push my way through I turn around and look at her. My heart swells at the sight of her and I don't even hesitate saying it again, "I love you."
Before going to the Dal, I stop by home to shower and change. Kenzi was asleep on the couch with the TV on so before I left I put a blanket over her and turned the set off.
When I get to the Dal, I find Dyson and Hale drinking at the bar talking to Trick, "Hi guys."
They all welcome me and Trick asks how Lauren is. "Pretty good considering you know."
Hale offers to buy me a drink, which I decline.
I turn my attention to Dyson, "can I talk to you for a minute?"
We make ourselves comfortable on one of the couches. I turn on the side so I can give him my undivided attention. "Dyson, you know you mean a lot to me."
I shift in my seat and clear my throat. "I do love you, but the only future I can offer you is as my friend."
A silence settles over us before he nods his head and offers me a tight smile. "It's because of Lauren isn't it? You love her."
"More than I realised."
He moves forward and hugs me, "I just want you to be happy."
He stands up, "you know if you need me for anything, just call ok?" Before I can answer, he's half way back to the bar.
I make it back to the Ash's compound in record time. As I make my way back to Intensive Care I see the Ash coming out of Lauren's room.
When he sees me, he waits for me to reach him, "Hello Bo, I wanted to thank you for getting Lauren here so promptly after last night's events."
"No problem, I wanted to get her help as fast as possible."
He nods, "well your quick thinking will be remembered."
He offers me what I think is supposed to be a smile before walking down the corridor.
I enter Lauren's room and resume my previous position in the chair next to her bed, holding her hand.
"Hi beautiful, I'm back."
Not exactly sure what to do and finding myself wide awake I start talking. It's more to fill the silence than anything, I want her to know that she isn't alone, that I'm here waiting for her.
The thought that she might wake up with no one here, thinking that I don't care makes my heart ache.
I hope she can forgive me for being such an ass. That when she wakes up she doesn't hate me, that I've still got a shot at making a life with her.
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