DISCLAIMER: The characters herein are used without permission. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, this is my first attempt at House fanfic! I'm not totally familiar with this fandom, but I got this little plot bunny, so thought I'd write it down.
SPOILERS: Just Thirteen's name, I guess, if that's still considered a spoiler.
CHALLENGE: Written for the first International Day of Femslash.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Bonus Points
By mysensitiveside


Cameron could hear the familiar sound of man-plus-cane approaching behind her as she walked down the hallway. She didn't normally see him around here, and whenever she did, he was usually there to annoy her. But she had things to do, and she didn't work for House anymore, so really, she couldn't be bothered with him right now.

Maybe he didn't even want to talk to her, though, and would just head off in a different direction. Or maybe -- God forbid -- he'd simply nod politely and leave her alone.

"Cameron! Just the girl I was looking for!"

No such luck.

Cameron sighed. "What can I do for you, House?"

He fell into step beside her. "You know, a lot of people think that I only hired Thirteen as a replacement for you," he commented conversationally.

"Yeah, I had heard that rumor," Cameron replied dryly. "I'm sure she's a very good doctor in her own right."

"Oh, how very magnanimous of you to say so! But actually, I thought you should know that she has WAY surpassed you in extra-curricular bonus points. I mean, you both got the eye-candy requirement down quite well, but Thirteen... Well, let's just say that she provides a lot more potential for entertainment than you ever did."

"Hmmm." Cameron had no idea what House was talking about.

"Aren't you going to ask me what's so special about her?" he prompted expectantly.

"Aren't you going to tell me anyway, no matter what?" she retorted, arriving back in the ER and starting to sift through the charts she had been carrying.

"Good point. Well I'll just get right to it, then. It has recently come to my attention..." He paused for effect, leaning in conspiratorially. "That Thirteen bats for both teams, if you know what I mean. Now, imagine how much more fulfilling our relationship could have been, if only you'd decided to supply me with plenty of girl-on-girl fantasies!"

Cameron felt a distinct pull at the corner of her lips, but she managed to hold back her grin. Still, she finally lifted her eyes from her paperwork, actually looking at House for the first time since the start of their conversation.

She simply considered him for a moment, as he obviously waited for her reaction. "You know, I was actually starting to worry about you, House."

"Oh really?" Clearly, it wasn't what he had expected her to say, as he eyed her curiously.

"Yeah. I mean, you may be an ass, but I've never denied that you're great at reading people. You've always been so quick to discover whatever it is that people don't want to tell you. But the fact that you hadn't said anything about this earlier? I was starting to worry that you were losing your touch."

House didn't say anything, his eyes narrowing at her.

To drive the point home, she continued, "Okay, so Thirteen's bisexual? That's old news, House. I knew THAT a while ago."

Cameron could practically see it, as House's curiosity got the better of his desire to be the one driving the conversation, and he blurted out, "You KNEW? You don't even work with her! How the hell would YOU know?"

She finally allowed herself to smirk. The knowing expression that spread across her face was partly for House's benefit -- she liked the thought of teasing him with implications, allowing him to leap to his own conclusions -- but just thinking about the night when she'd discovered Remy's sexual orientation was always enough to bring a smile to her face, even if House wasn't around.

Turning her attention back to House, she simply shrugged, her grin only growing wider as she finally answered him, "I've got my own ways of figuring things out too, you know."

With that, she picked up her files and walked away, leaving House standing in her wake.

For possibly the first time ever, she'd left him absolutely speechless.

The End

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