DISCLAIMER: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are
property of NBC and Dick Wolf.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm really still learning these characters. I recently started watching this show on USA network and find the dynamic between these two actresses fairly interesting. I don't have anyone in mind to dedicate this too, you available? :) If you are, then it was written just for you.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: Season Three.
"So, what do you think we should do, Alex?" Detective Olivia Benson quizzed as she leaned into the office doorway of Assistant District Attorney, Alexandra Cabot.
The blonde slowly put down her pen and looked up at Olivia through dark tortoise shell eyeglasses. "Olivia, I wasn't expecting to see you today." She quickly looked away and tried to focus on the motion that she was working on. The detective's dark eyes burned into the slight woman sitting at the desk.
"What is it that you think we should do, Alex?" Olivia stressed.
"I don't think that we should talk about this here, detective." Alex's voice broke as the words whimpered out; when Olivia looked closer she could tell that the attorney had clearly been crying.
"Alex, I, um..." Olivia stammered, "I'm sorry, I..."
"Not here Benson, okay? Can we please just do whatever this is later?" Alex pleaded, making sure that she did not make eye contact with the dark haired woman.
"Okay, Alex. Later." Olivia glanced once more and began to walk away, but turned back quickly, "Will you be okay until then?"
"Thanks, Olivia. I'll be okay. I'm off around six, okay?"
"Six then" As Alex watched Olivia walk away; she felt her stomach fall to the floor, again.
Olivia scurried around her apartment, picking up odd things and putting them back in their rightful homes. She went to the kitchen to search for a bottle of wine, or liquor of some sort, wondering the whole way if she had anything left. If memory served her right, she should have at least one or to bottles of something. A cheap bottle of Mouton Cadet caught her eye and she pulled it down along with two glasses.
She tried to remember the last time that she and Alex had been there. It almost seemed as though Olivia had taken up residence at Alex's. Of course, whose place they would be at from this point on may not be an issue after their impending conversation.
Olivia almost dropped the bottle as she walked towards the living room when her door buzzer rang. She stopped by and rang in her guest without asking first. Alex walked in without knocking and made a halfhearted attempt at a smile when she saw Olivia sitting on the couch struggling with the cork on the bottle.
"You know I'm better at that than you are, why didn't you wait?" Alex took a seat across from Olivia and dropped her bag on the floor with a quiet thud.
"Thought I would make use of some of this nervous energy." Olivia gave up and pushed the bottle and wine key towards Alex. "Go ahead and finish it off before I break it."
As Alex took the bottle from Olivia's hands, she let her fingers linger longer than they should have. She knew that Olivia had felt the same charge that she did and uncontrollably shook her head as if to say no. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean too." Alex whispered.
Olivia sat back and rubbed her hands across her knees, as if to make the feeling go away. "So, you think that Bates, Townes, and Murray are going to get what's coming to them on the drug charges at least?" Olivia asked quickly, changing the subject.
"They are probably going to get a plea on the drugs, the conspiracy I'm not too sure about."
Olivia obviously had some other opinions on her mind, but apparently thought twice and just shook her head in disagreement.
"You know, Olivia, they would have had more to sing to if I wouldn't have rethought the rape charge for Smythe." Alex looked a bit agitated.
"I know Alex, but to ruin what's left of Karen's career on top of the rape, it just didn't make sense, you know? I really appreciate you doing that for her. I'm sure they've been busting your balls about it." Olivia absent-mindedly reached out and gave a reassuring pat on Alex's lap. She jumped with reflex at the surprise of the detective's touch, and Olivia's hand immediately retreated.
"It's okay, Olivia, I'm just glad to see that Karen's moving on. I just hate like hell that those bastards got a walk on such a brutal attack."
Olivia shook her head, "Thank you again Alex, it really meant a lot."
The mood in the room was tense and became quiet after the initial conversation died down. Both women were fidgety and preoccupied, both scared to be the one to take the initiative to start a conversation about the real reason they were meeting tonight.
Detective Benson was getting up the nerve to speak just as her cell phone rang; it was Stabler of course, saved by the bell. She quickly picked up the phone, hushing the obnoxious ring, "Benson"
"Hey, it's me. We need to finish up the reports on that high school thing, want to have a beer and work on it, or wait for breakfast?" Her partner Elliot Stabler said assuming that her pick would be the first option.
"How about we meet in the morning, Ell? I'm kind of in the middle of something here." Olivia took a deep breath, hoping that he wouldn't ask what.
"Hot stuff, huh?" Elliot laughed nervously, but instinctively knew from his partner's voice that something was a little more serious than her just hanging out with someone.
"Stabler, really, go home." Anger flashed over the detective's face. Her partner's remarks were getting to her. She had trusted him enough to tell him about Alex, but didn't expect he would throw it back at her. He knew what was going on with them.
"Yeah, I guess I could just go home and hang out with Kathy and the kids." Stabler had been out with Much and Fin and had a slight buzz already. "You gonna talk to her already? You need to get happy again, Liv. I'm tired of you being so damn sensitive."
"I don't mean to be Ell" Olivia sighed, realizing that she had been a little quick tempered with her partner. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay, Liv. Breakfast then." Stabler hung up abruptly, and Olivia slowly closed the phone and began to walk back towards the living room.
By the time that Olivia was halfway down the hall, she looked up in time to see Alex coming straight towards her. "Olivia, I can't stand this, who's going to be the first one to say something here?" Alex stood toe to toe with the darker woman, overwhelmed with the desire to stop talking and finish what had begun the first time they had ended up at the detective's apartment.
Olivia could feel the fire that she feared would go with the near outing they experienced. She wanted nothing more than to take Alex by the hand and lead her back into bed where they first came to know one another. She declined her feelings for the fairer woman, brushing past her without saying a word. She wound up sitting on the couch, staring blankly into her wine glass. Alex came to her, joining with her on the couch, and topped off both their half empty glasses of wine.
"Was that call anything? Do you need to go now?" Alex inquired, wondering if the detective would take an easy out with the phone call, and say that it was business.
"Nah, just Stabler. Meeting him for breakfast to work on some reports." Olivia waved off the conversation and took a long draw from her glass and let the warm, red liquid burn down her throat.
Alex laughed slightly, and with a little mischievous bump on Olivia's shoulder asked, "Breakfast with Stabler, huh? Guess that means my plans for the morning need some adjustment." She grinned a little and Olivia could have sworn she saw a wink.
Olivia turned to look away, not wanting the blonde to see her blush. Waking up with ADA Cabot, now that was a breakfast date that she really wanted, fuck meeting Stabler.
"Olivia, look at me please." Alex pleaded, but the detective was stubborn. "I'm sorry Olivia, is that what you need to hear? I'm sorry."
"That's a start, Alex." Olivia shot her a broken look.
"I promise you that me going out with him meant nothing. And, I, I, just don't know what to say. I was just trying to keep up appearances. I know you're not ready to come out to everybody yet, and I didn't want to get cornered with questions about you and I. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, either. More importantly, I didn't want to hurt us, or whatever it is that we have here." Alex's head fell downward and her eyes focused on her shoes.
"Well you did, Cabot. You did. You hurt me. And for what? So that no one would think that we're really dykes or that you would have to explain things to him about me?" Olivia burned her eyes in to Alex, begging for a reply to make things right.
Alex didn't know what to say, she was stunned at the usually stoic detective's harsh reply, and emotion. She just sat there, tears rolling down her face, splashing as they hit her shirt and her knees. She thought that at that moment she had surely devastated this relationship that she had come to need, come to rely on. This was something that she wanted to save.
Alex began to shake with hurt and as a complete shock to both women, Olivia reached out and closed the short distance between the two and pulled her in close and held onto her until she felt the blonde calm down.
"Alex, I want to stop this. It's okay, I'm a big girl, and I'm okay." Olivia stroked Alex's hair lightly. "We've just got to figure it out. I don't want to lose this friendship." Olivia immediately regretted her last statement, and mentally kicked herself for ever so gracefully ruining what she thought was a recovery.
"My friendship! Is that what you are worried about? My friendship." Alex's tone was sharp, and forceful. "Damn it Benson, I don't want or need your friendship." She quickly pulled herself away from Olivia and put distance between the two.
Olivia stammered, again, "Alex. I don't know what else I can give you right now, except that. I just risk more than that with you. Not until we can both be confident and open with what we want, because I can't bear to see you with someone else as a shield like he was again. It hurts too much, I won't see someone I'm in love with and whom I believe to be in love with me, lie to the world like that. I'm too old to pretend and play these games."
Alex knew that Olivia was on the money, and she couldn't get over the fact that she had just heard that the detective was indeed in live with her. Not quite moonlight and roses, the way she had expected to hear it for the first time, but she definitely returned the feeling.
Alex decided to close the gap between them again, and moved back into Olivia's space. A flash of memory ran through her head and she grinned when she thought that she would never have been in this predicament if she would have told Fin and Munch no when they asked her to come along for drinks. "Olivia" Alex stopped short "I just"
Damn Benson and those dark eyes, if she wants just friends, I can't do it, Alex thought. I'm ready for this, and I hope that she is. Alex moved in closer to Olivia and in the fastest of motions, took a deep breath and softly brushed her lips against the olive skinned woman's.
"Alex, no." Olivia protested and pretended to pull away, but Alex knew what she was feeling.
"Can't what, Olivia?" Alex persisted. This time, pushing the kiss a little further. The passion became stronger and more insistent.
"This can't happen Cabot, you're breaking me." Olivia groaned as she was now kissing the blonde back with impending need.
"I know Benson, you'll be joining me, because you broke me that first night." Alex said with her lips still against Olivia's, now with a Cheshire grin spreading across her face.
Olivia lay back on the couch and pulled the blonde down on top of her. Pulling her body close and whispered playfully, "Does this mean that my breakfast plans are changing?"
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