DISCLAIMER: I do not own the character of CSI, I have the trading cards and
a few other things but I shall never claim to own the show. That honour
lays with Jerry "Gone in 60 Seconds" Bruckheimer and CBS. The song used in
this is an early Dixie Chicks song called 'Desire' and I don't own it. I
will only sing it in the shower when no one is home.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
By Corbeau's Alcove
My mouth feels like I've been licking sandpaper for a year. My head is pounding so hard I'm convinced that I'll see my pulse bursting through my flesh.
If only I could now get up.
Oh what a night. I'm sure I had a good time. You'd have to have a good time if you felt like this right?
** Last night I took a turn I never should **
Dancing. I remember dancing.
Arms wrapping around me with a confidence that surprised me.
Lips on my neck.
A body dancing with mine so perfectly I almost forgot I had a partner. It was fluid and almost poetic. It was amazing.
It was damn hot.
I remember turning to kiss my partner. I kissed soft lips, I traced teasing lines with my tongue.
I felt a moan rise.
The taxi. Did I give my address?
No, I went home with my dancer.
** I knew nothing good could come of this, morning's come now and the smoke has cleared **
I'm not naked. Good sign right?
Oh dear. I've got pajama's on. Too big for me.
** How did I get here from a single kiss **
"Oh shit," the voice under the blanket says. Is it mine?
No, it belongs to the person in my, I mean their, bed. Escape is not an option now.
"Shit, shit, shit."
I don't recognise the voice but it's heavy with sleep. I want to poke my head under the sheets and find out.
Yet at the same time I'm paralyzed with fear.
** I can't undo what's been done when the web's already spun, I got caught up in desire **
The blanket is pulled away so slowly it's like a curtain unveiling a new piece of artwork. I want to yell hurry up but my breath has stalled, caught up in this slow torture.
Suddenly brown hair is revealed to me. Long.
Okay, the sex is down, now I need the identity of this woman.
Did she already tell me her name?
She turns, her entire body rigid. Perhaps her self confidence of the night before was due to some alcoholic courage.
She is facing me, her eyes closed.
No need to try and remember her name; I already know it.
When did my voice become so squeaky?
** No matter what I say, I can't make it go away. The trouble's just begun, can't undo what's been done **
"Did we ah?" I ask wincing at the question and the person I'm asking it of.
"No we didn't," Sara says quietly.
"These yours?" I ask, pointing to my outfit.
"Yeah. I didn't think you'd want to sleep in your outfit."
The only thing I can hear is my heartbeat and an old clock ticking away above us. What do I say?
"So, I'll be off then." I say climbing out of bed without so much as a glance back to her. She looks so beautiful, her hair a little messy and her eyes still a little heavy.
No, no, don't go there.
"Ah okay," Sara says.
Is that sadness I hear?
I'm sorry Sara, I can't stay here. I may never leave.
"This wasn't supposed to happen," I mutter.
Loud enough for Sara to hear. Shit.
"I knew you'd feel that way," she says.
Oh no, is she going to cry?
"So, see you at work?" I ask.
Could I be anymore blasé?
"Fine," Sara says turning her back to me.
I dash out in a blur, my body hurting. I can remember the sensation of her dancing with me. I can remember the taste of her, the warmth I felt in her eyes when she pulled away.
Her smile, so wide. Like the old days when she'd be happy at work.
Her touch was so soft it made me melt inside.
Her words, her whispers, they felt so familiar even though it was the first time I'd seen this side to her.
Shit. I want her.
Great, now I'm crying.
** When I get home there will be hell to pay, I wish there was a way to ease the pain **
I can't possibly entertain the thought of being with her in any kind of capacity. Even if it turned out to be a casual thing, I just can't. Not with Sara Sidle.
No, not with Sara.
But why not? She and I are alike in ways yet different enough for it to be interesting. I could stop this bitchy, less than inviting, persona I have around her.
I have noticed her though. The frown when she's stuck on something, the lips sinking into her mouth when she's really concentrating. Boy, when she's in that zone you could blow up the lab and she wouldn't notice.
Unless she was walking past, okay bad memory.
Her legs, God they worked magic last night, she thinks she moves uneasy but boy does she have rhythm.
The tight shirts she often wears under a jacket.
Don't even get me started on her smile. She doesn't do it as much now which makes the moment one to treasure.
I wonder what's got her down, why she was at that club last night.
Why did she come to me? She wasn't drunk, she knew it was me.
She knew it was me.
She wanted me.
I want her too, I've obviously been thinking of this longer than just one night.
** In a heartbeat I could lose it all, then my tears would fall, fall like pouring rain **
I left her house at breakneck speed, she wouldn't even want me to return to her now.
I've messed this up already.
Fuck this. I'm not one to wonder about chances. I'm going to take one.
On Sara Sidle.
** I can't undo what's been done when the web's already spun. I got caught up in desire, no matter what I say I can't make it go away **
Not the best way to start something but I think this kind of experience is 'us' in a way.
We'd never reach out otherwise, there would be too much at stake.
Now I stand at her door, I should knock.
Come on hand, lift up and knock.
I'm heavy with the feeling of trepidation but it's not like the one that gripped me when I woke. I had no control over it, I had no knowledge of what layed ahead.
Now I do and I'm terrified that this moment because I need to believe in it, I have something vital at stake.
"Coming," Sara's voice mumbles through the door.
This is it Catherine, this is it.
"Catherine," Sara's surprised voice makes me smile.
** The trouble's just begun, can't undo what's been done **
"I forgot something," I say still standing in her doorway.
Is she going to let me in?
"Well you ran out of here like there was a fire it doesn't surprise me," her bitter voice hits me hard but I'm not deterred from my mission.
I reach out to touch her hand and she follows it with her curious eyes.
I look up and move closer. She doesn't move which I suppose is a good sign. At least she's not shutting the door in my face.
I touch her cheek and still she says nothing.
"Oh come on Sara," I say exasperated.
Sara blinks a few times, she still has that deer in the headlights look but a slow grin is spreading.
"Ah," is all she says before grabbing my forearms and crashing my body into hers.
Our kiss is fiery, tongues hitting each other trying to push past. I feel Sara push me against the door. I hadn't even noticed it was closed but I certainly feel my back hit it.
We break apart, our breath coming out in gasps. Her hair has fallen on either side of her face and I can't resist. I twirl a few strands in my fingers smiling when she hits her head against the door above my shoulder.
"Want breakfast?" I hear her whisper in my ear. The voice sends shivers up and down my spine.
** No I can't undo what's been done **
Thank God I drank too much the night before.
Thank God I came back here.
Thank God she took the boldest of chances on me.
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