DISCLAIMER: Not mine. I promise I'm only borrowing them and will return them to their rightful owners whenever they ask for them back. My imagination took a flight of fancy.....my bank account stayed empty. (Seriously, the cast of CSI belong to CBS and Jerry Bruckheimer and Alliance Atlantis and I'm only borrowing them for some free daydreaming that I wrote down).
SPOILERS: None specifically, although good knowledge of what happens in general is required. There will be the occasional reference to a case seen on the show, with any eps up to the end of Season 3 regarded as fair game. It is from this point that the AU occurs, although back story from the show (such as Nesting Dolls in s5 most obviously) will be incorporated where relevant/appropriate.
SERIES/SEQUEL: This piece is a standalone piece in its own right, but there is a
companion piece of the same name in the L&O: SVU fandom (coming soon).
These two fics will combine to be a crossover......eventually
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Cold Feet, Cold Case, Warm Hearts
By ncruuk
Part Three
Daybreak came and still the processing continued. Those 'lucky' enough to be uniform members of either the police or fire departments had shift changeovers that were acknowledged, resulting in a steady stream of vehicles coming and going from the site as fresh eyes were switched into the various teams. For the CSIs, there was no such luck. Irrespective of what the day shift was up to, once a case was allocated, that case and CSI stayed together until it was either closed or reassigned. They had long ago resigned themselves to the fact that they were going to be out in the desert until there was no evidence left to collect, which wasn't going to be for a while. Thankfully though, since they had already managed to identify the 'what' question answer (two tankers met school bus met ravine floor via K rail) and the 'who' question answer (discovered at the same time as the what), the only significant question left was the why, which would also resolve the missing elements in the answer to the 'how' question. Whilst both these answers were important, and urgent, they were not so urgent that the exhausted CSIs wouldn't be able to sleep for a couple of hours before restarting back at the lab next shift. Sara had therefore taken the private decision that, the minute each CSI had finished processing their section, they were clocked off and driven back to Vegas with the suggestion of a decent plate of food and sleep.
Every degree higher the sun climbed, the shorter the nap was going to be, but right now, Sara was sure that the offer of even an hour's shuteye would seem like manna from heaven to the team. Not that she would admit it, but she was also looking forward to having a break. Gone was the time of Sara maxing out her overtime every month. Whereas once she had always been the first one in, usually by at least a couple of hours, also the last one out, now, unless there was something dramatic happen during shift, she left at a reasonable hour. That wasn't to say she left on time, because that rarely happened, but she never stayed longer than an hour, and rarely if ever arrived more than an hour early for shift. Yes, she still worked longer than required, but it took a rare something for her to max out her overtime. Despite her improved work habits, she was still the graveyard CSI with the fewest number of lates to her name.
As she looked out over the desert, Sara let her mind wander, wryly recalling the first time she had nearly been late for shift, and then, well, it was entirely Cat's fault.
"You got everything for work or do we need to go via your place?" came Catherine's harried response as she flew downstairs clutching the things she wanted to take to work with her, conscious of Sara's preference for being the first to arrive on shift, normally even beating Grissom by a good hour or so.
Sara was lying across the couch, legs extended, back supported by the arm rest and a few strategically placed cushions. With the TV remote and newspapers strewn on the floor beside her, and hair haphazardly hanging around her face, partially obscuring the lazy grin she was sporting, she looked positively relaxed and very un-ready for work. Coming into the room, Catherine screeched to a halt when she saw Sara obviously not in the mood to work. Smiling in amusement, she rounded the couch so that she was standing in front of Sara, looking down at the long frame of her lanky lover which, judging by its attire, was definitely not ready for work. Before Catherine could remonstrate about her lover's lack of preparation however, slender tanned arms, the toning concealing deceptive strength, shot out and grabbed Catherine's waist, pulling her down into the depths of the couch.
"Hey!" came Catherine's surprised response, not expecting the playful move. As her brain began remonstrating with Sara for her playfulness when they really didn't have time
"Sara, we really haven't time for this…." Her body was remembering just how much it enjoyed nestling in Sara's embrace. Higher level brain activity stopped when Catherine's eyes, previously scanning Sara's face and in particular the sparkling eyes, noticed the delicate path a moist tongue traced over grinning lips. Leaning in, Catherine cheekily captured the curious tongue before initiating a passionate kiss that, if it weren't for risk of loss of consciousness due to oxygen deprivation, would probably have continued indefinitely, or at least until baser instincts fought through two layers of clothes. As Sara pulled back, she opened her eyes to look at the flushed visage of her lover.
"That was fun." Was her cheeky comment, accompanied by two hands setting off on an investigation of what lay under the back of Cat's shirt.
"Yes, it was."
"Want to do it again sometime?"
"Hmm, well, I'd have to check my schedule…." came the teasing comeback
"Oh, well, if Madame's too busy…" began Sara, continuing the banter, starting to remove her hands
"Madame never said she was too busy. You didn't let her finish!" countered Catherine, gently threading her hands through Sara's loose hair, pulling it off her face. At Sara's appreciative beam, she began a light massage, prompting the beam to turn into a hum of pleasure. As she leaned in for another kiss, she whispered
"Madame was going to check her schedule to make sure that we weren't going to be disturbed for a very long time" before once again initiating a passionate assault on those delectable lips.
"We're getting good at that." Commented Catherine when they parted again
"Well, practice makes perfect." Came the smart comeback
"You comfortable like this?" asked Catherine, all teasing gone from her tone, to be replaced by something more…..sensual.
"Yeah, why? Are you not?" Asked Sara, suddenly becoming concerned
"Quite the opposite my love. In fact, I'm rather enjoying it!" And, to make sure her point was communicated without confusion, she thrust her pelvis forward and sideways slightly, causing her hip bone to come into direct contact with Sara's very alert core.
"Oh, OH!" came the surprise response "I hadn't realised, I mean…." Began Sara, surprised and startled. Not being able to feel anything below her pelvis, she hadn't realised quite how entwined their bodies had become. Catherine on the other hand, was more than aware of the fact that Sara had in fact pulled her down so that she was lying on top of the lean body, straddling one firm thigh, legs tangled. Never stopping her gentle massage of Sara's scalp, Catherine did however slow so that she had Sara's undivided attention, intellectual attention that was.
"Seriously, how does this feel for you, I mean, I know that you can't feel below your…" began Catherine, still not quite sure how to express herself without upsetting or offending Sara.
"Hey, don't worry. If you hurt me, I promise you'll be the second to know, right after I do, okay?" came Sara's quick response.
"Promise?"
"I promise. But in answer to the fun side of your question…." began Sara, her tone resuming its playful tone as her hands headed south, slipping in the puckered back of Cat's jeans, prompting Catherine's expression to become decidedly less serious and significantly more passionate "….I think it feels wonderful. In fact, I think it needs further (kiss) more rigorous (kiss) testing" and, as Sara initiated the passionate kiss this time, one hand stayed in Cat's jeans, pulling her deeper into Sara's body whilst the other hand slipped back up the wondrously silky expanse of back and snapped Cat's bra fastening open. If Catherine hadn't noticed the warm hand running up the skin of her back, she certainly noticed the sudden 'lack of restraint' she was now feeling. Pulling back out of the kiss, she chuckled when she saw Sara pout in disappointment
"Was that supposed to be a subtle hint that you're enjoying this?" teased Catherine
"No" came the seemingly serious reply. Puzzled, Catherine drew back slightly
"Oh?"
"No, it wasn't supposed to subtle!" came the amused response as, in one smooth movement, taking advantage of the increased space between them, she slid her hands up the sides of Cat's ribs and down the underside of her arms, a motion that succeeded in removing the open necked shirt and already undone bra. As Sara's hands approached Catherine's elbows, Catherine lifted first one hand and then the other away from Sara's head, allowing the discarded clothing to fall to the floor.
As Sara let her gaze roam greedily over the sight in front of her, her hands retraced their earlier route, and she slipped them back into Cat's jeans. It was now Cat's turn to hum in pleasure as those long, sinuous fingers set up a firm massage of toned flesh, as well as gently steering Cat's hips into a slightly new position. Realising what was happening, Cat tried to be 'helpful' by thrusting into Sara, only to be told
"Relax, let me do this for you." Before suddenly Sara's plan became clear as one pink nipple was sucked into a warm, damp mouth. Looking down at her breast, Catherine was captivated by what she saw, or rather couldn't see, since Sara's long hair had spilled forward, shrouding her face and the lucky breast much as a magician shrouds an object in silk, before making it magically transform into something else. And what magic that silken mane was concealing now. Unable to see Sara's face or expressive eyes, and reluctant to move her braced hands from the couch arm for fear of squashing Sara, Cat closed her eyes, giving herself fully into the multiple pleasures that Sara was lavishing on her. What, when her eyes had been open, had been a barrier, a frustration, was now providing a soft, unpredictable, tender caress against the sides of her breast, a whispering counterpoint to the firm, passionate massage that Sara was still applying to Cat's perfect posterior. Just when she thought it couldn't get any better, the almost painfully erect nipple experienced a new sensation – teeth carefully stroked across the surrounding skin before playfully nipping the sensitive nub. The second, or was it third time, Cat wasn't sure and wasn't caring, it happened, out of nowhere, the waves of an incredibly powerful orgasm swept through her, taking her by complete surprise, further intensifying the experience. Unable to support her weight on arms that suddenly felt surprisingly boneless, she was grateful for the strong arms that lovingly encircled her torso and pulled her down into a supportive embrace, allowing her to snuggle into Sara's chest. When normal brain function returned, Cat whispered on account of being dry mouthed
"Wow…..that was….unexpected."
"But nice?" came the cautious questioning
"Mmm, very, very nice."
"Good. So we can do it again sometime? I kinda had fun" the tone was still cautious and, despite the cheeky words, had an undercurrent of shyness
"That would be nice." Said Catherine, her brain gradually reforming and one of the more alert parts mentally screaming 'nice? Can't you come up with something better than nice?' Her mental berating was interrupted by a sudden thought
"Umm, how did I, I mean, you didn't, there wasn't…….you know." Finished Catherine sheepishly, too shy to actually explicitly state what she was trying to say.
"You mean how did you climax when my mouth was nowhere near and my hands were otherwise engaged?" asked Sara teasingly, glad to see that her actions had been not only very successful but also thoroughly appreciated.
"Yes, I mean, if it wasn't so pleasurable I think it might have scared me to death!" admitted Catherine honestly, resting her head in what was probably its favourite snuggling spot ever – the point at which Sara's broad, strong shoulder met slender, smooth neck. It didn't hurt that, in this position, Catherine had a nice view inside Sara's shirt, not to mention those adorable goose bumps that prickled across the inside of Sara's breast when she first felt the tickle of Cat's warm breath.
"Pretty intense huh?" asked Sara, trying not to sound too smug at the backhanded compliment.
"Wonderfully so. But I'm still trying to work out…." Even in post-orgasmic afterglow, the investigator in Catherine couldn't completely let go
"Does it matter?" asked Sara, amused at the blonde's persistence.
"Not really, so long as you promise to do it again sometime."
"Pick the time and couch and I'll be there."
"Only the couch?" teased Catherine
" Yeah, 'cos I really hate getting a numb backside sitting on a hard floor, and leaning against the wall in bed would probably cause me to hit my head, not to mention it would be harder to take your clothes off!" That last remark earned Sara a playful slap as she tried to reach for Cat's breast once more.
"Ok, so we stick to the couch. I can live with that. Best make sure that Lindsey finds a really good summer activity programme to join!" Catherine loved spending time with her daughter, but some moments were just not mother-and-daughter ones.
"Yes. I am not risking being caught by Lindsey whilst making out with her mother on the couch."
"Sweetie, if that's what you call making out, well, I'm not sure I'll survive full blown love-making…..speaking of which…." At which point, Catherine pushed herself up slightly so that she could look Sara in the eye
"I'm being really selfish. You just gave me an incredible experience, only for me to flop all over you."
"But you're so beautiful when you're floppy!" teased Sara, seizing the opportunity to fondle the unguarded naked breast that was just out of touching distance for her tongue.
"Seriously, I would like to return the feeling…." Began Catherine, only to be silenced by a kiss on the lips as her free hand was grasped and lowered to the very spot she had been trying to explore. As Sara guided Catherine's hand to the crotch of her lightweight tracksuit trousers, Catherine let out a gasp of surprise. She hadn't quite anticipated Sara's trousers to be soaked.
"See, I'm very happy thank you. It was a mutually satisfying experience."
"But you, I mean, I didn't feel you…." Catherine was once again unable to form a coherent sentence
"I'm not surprised you didn't feel me climax. Cat, I've never been that, um, floppy?" asked Sara, shyly, unsure how to explain that in her experience, orgasms were localised events, experienced pleasurably but solely at the point of stimulation, and not the full body experiences that Catherine seemed to revel in.
"Well, we shall have to work on that then…..I look forward to introducing you to lots of very floppy orgasms!" teased Catherine, reassuring Sara that she wasn't upset or disappointed with a quick peck on the lips. As Cat moved her hand from its resting place at the apex of Sara's legs, she brushed across Sara's thigh, encountering an unexpected wet patch of fabric. Curious, she looked to check that no 'accidents' had befallen Sara during their spontaneous passionate interlude, only to discover that the wet patch was isolated and roughly the same shape as the damp outline she could feel in her underwear. Now it was Catherine's turn to blush, prompting Sara to follow her lover's gaze to see what she was looking at
"Oh. That. Well, I'm hardly surprised you didn't notice my climax considering you never realised you were rocking against me." Came Sara's dry comment.
Embarrassed, Cat buried her head back in its favourite resting place, muttering 'I'm sorry, so sorry' over and over again.
"Hey, don't be. I was only teasing you. Actually, that was my fault."
"It was?" Catherine's face slowly re-emerged.
"Remember what my hands were doing?"
"Uh-huh."
"Well, I sort of steered you. I could feel you so, well, it won't be a surprise next time now." Concluded Sara, disappointedly. Catherine however, was still a few words behind.
"You could feel me? Sara, are you…."
"What? Oh, no. I couldn't feel you on my leg. I felt you with my hands and mouth and, well, I guess I just knew what you needed. Why are we analysing this so deeply? It's kind of spoiling the moment, don't ya think?"
"Because we're two criminalists who can't help ourselves?" asked Catherine laughing. As she laughed, the angle of her head changed, causing her to catch the VCR clock in the corner of her eye, quelling the laughter immediately
"Shit"
"What's the matter Cat?"
"The time." Sara turned to look at the VCR clock
"Shit! Shift starts in an hour……"
"Hey, it's not like we're going to be late…." Began Catherine as she carefully extracted herself from the embrace, trying not to whimper at the loss of contact as she reached for her discarded shirt
"But I think the days of you being a couple of hours early for shift are over!" she finished cheekily, as she slipped out of range of Sara's hands, heading for the room that had Sara's spare clothes in to find her some clean trousers and underwear.
As Sara returned from the memory, she moved over to the edge of the highway, allowing her to look down into the scene, watching the processing happen. Resisting the temptation to settle her gaze on the hot spot zone and Catherine, she looked out into the near distance, surveying the areas that Warrick and Nick were processing. To the uninformed eye, the sight was regimented and relatively unenlightening, as lines of people slowly stepped forward in a line, occasionally stopping and bending down to place a yellow marker. Here and there scuttled a lone person, ferrying evidence and kit about, or moving in to take a photograph, but to Sara the scene revealed much more. Not long after sunrise, Warrick had told her that they had finished processing the inner chunk of the zone, where most of the evidence was concentrated. It had been slow, backbreaking work, compounded by the darkness. Now, with the sun up, they were ready to process the outer chunk, able to put away the flashlights and use the daylight, expanding their visual scope. The easier working conditions, as well as the increased distance from the hot spot, made the line bodies move much faster; this far out, there was little debris or evidence now, only scorched earth. Knowing the direction in which they were working, Sara estimated that Warrick's team was maybe 3/4 of the way though the chunk, with Nick only a few minutes behind. Perhaps they would both see bed before noon.
Satisfied that there was nothing more she could offer to the guys by way of help, she turned to watch the hot spot. Unlike the outer zone, this was a question of brains over brawn, with the evidence needing to be thoughtfully considered as it was collected, rather than just accurately recorded and respectfully recovered. Instead of the large numbers of people moving in a controlled fashion, there were a handful of people, moving about in a seemingly random fashion, marking evidence and taking photographs. Watching carefully, Sara could break down the randomness, identifying the overlapping routes that each individual was following. There was Greg, searching for a particular type of something, the hydrogen tanker's tank perhaps? And the arson guys, they seemed to be collecting residue samples, proof of the fuels, samples of materials melted or fused to the landscape following the intense heat of the explosive fire? The photographers, carefully working across the site, taking pictures of every little yellow tag, one working left to right, the other right to left, ensuring multiple copies. Catherine, standing at the very centre, passing a very critical gaze over the entire scene, mentally reviewing everything, making sure nothing had been missed perhaps? Sara didn't need to be next to Catherine to picture the expression that would be settled on her face; it was the same look that people had when they reviewed a hotel room immediately before checking out, making sure that there was nothing missed during packing. Maybe Catherine was nearly ready to declare her day done. The scene would remain taped off, so they could always revisit it later if they needed to, but if everything was nearly collected…….Sara's idle speculation was interrupted by the approach of Jim Brass
"Hey"
"Jim"
"The uh rig guy wants to know if he can go, claims he's full up"
"The Doc happy to let him go?"
"Yes, says nothing has come up for a while for him, and, should anything else come, they've still got the coroner's vans on site. It's your call."
"Let him go then, he's right, there isn't any space left for evidence, it's full of tanker and bus. What's left to come up will fit in the Tahoes." Sara stated, knowing that all the large pieces of evidence, such as axles and so forth were already filling the rig. The sooner the rig got back to Las Vegas, the sooner the evidence could be stored at the lab and morgue, and the sooner the grisly process of identification and release could be begun by the coroner's office.
"I'll let him know. How you doing?" asked Brass conversationally, taking in Sara's appearance. Unlike the people who had been traversing the rope lines repeatedly, her clothes were clean, but still had that rumpled look that indicated they had been worn for just a little too long. Her eyes, once clear and bright, now had an edge of tiredness to them, and the pale skin of her face was starting to shadow under her eyes.
"I'm fine" came the automatic, expected response.
"When are you guys stopping?" asked Jim, knowing not to call her on the obvious half-truth
"When the job is done"
"And when's that?" he asked, knowing that sometimes, the 'job' stretched through until he had a suspect's confession.
"When that scene is plucked clean of anything relevant; then we'll start again next shift at the labs."
"Ok. My guys have finished taping off the chunks of highway you need to keep and are settling up the weave through route and cones so that the highway can reopen when everyone's up from down there."
"Great. Thanks" came the distracted reply, as Sara remained focussed on Catherine
"You want to tell me what you're seeing?" asked Brass, curious as to what was holding Sara's interest, beyond the obvious that was.
"Catherine. She's rounding everyone in. Either they've nearly finished or they're about to start on something major. I'm inclined to think it's the former."
"So, we're nearly done then?"
"Could be." After a few moments, Sara's cell phone rang, breaking the contemplative silence that had descended on the pair
"Sidle"
*It's me, on Greg's phone. Mine's died.*
"Ok. What you talking about down there? Found something really good? Or run out of things to find?"
*How did you know….oh, wait, I see you* Catherine raised her hand in weary acknowledgment as she looked up towards where Sara was sitting.
*We're done. We've covered every square inch and think we've got everything we can. We'll head back to the lab and begin the processing there. If we have missed a bit, it will be small and we'll just have to come out and hunt some more.*
"Sounds about right. Come on up then. It's time for you both to get some sleep."
*See you in a few* came the tired response, before the line was cut.
Turning to face look at Brass, Sara explained
"Catherine's called time on her bit. They're coming in. The rig can definitely head off. Warrick and Nick should be done within the hour I would guess, judging by how much they have left."
"Great, I'll go get rid of the rig then." Before Brass, giving her an equally weary smile, trudged off to begin what looked to be the final push. Maybe there was hope of some shuteye before next shift after all.
After a few strides, Brass paused, only to turn back to Sara, who was once again staring out into the middle distance, pondering something or other. Catherine's telephone call had distracted him from what he had originally meant to talk to Sara about. Just as he was debating whether or not to go back and talk to her again, the decision was made for him
"What else did you want to say to me Jim?" called out Sara, aware that his footsteps had stopped rather than fade away as his distance from her increased.
"How do you do that?"
"What, know that you're debating turning back to talk to me?"
"Yeah, that." By now, Brass had retraced his steps so he was standing near Sara again
"Because I've spent long enough flat on my back that my eyes were useless for working out where people were, so I listen for steps. Yours stopped." elaborated Sara, referring to the time immediately following the accident when she had been virtually immobile as they waited for the swelling to go down.
"Yeah….I…" Brass stuttered, not really sure what to say to that. Even after all this time, he felt uncomfortable talking with Sara about what happened that night and afterwards.
"You wanted to tell me something else? About the scene?" prompted Sara, knowing that Catherine was getting nearer all the time, and really not wanting to have a major talk with Jim about the shooting again, though absently noting that if he still couldn't look her in the eye about it, maybe there was something wrong. She'd talk to Catherine about it…..some other time.
"The scene, yeah…the warrant was served on the tanker guy and every one has been found and stopped. The DAs office just rang to say they'd advised the manufacturer of the truck too. They say that the manufacturer has just started its own investigation, double checking a vehicle they have that was the same age as our one. Basically, there are 21 trucks waiting for you across the state." Finished Brass, relieved that the subject had moved away from that horrid time.
"None had crossed state lines? Well, that's a bit of luck. How long does the warrant allow us to keep them?"
"The judge was either smart, scared or both. Somehow, you've got an undefined 'reasonable' time period. The DAs office is interpreting this as we can keep them off the road whilst you process the evidence you've got from here, and then start on whichever of the trucks is relevant. You can sleep before your next shift!" Brass joked, realising exactly how mammoth a task this case was becoming in evidence analysis, and all probably, for it to be assigned to the unfortunate, horrible accident pile.
"Sleep, what a wonderful idea!" interjected a new voice, approaching from behind Sara and overhearing the end of the conversation.
"Catherine" acknowledged Brass, before saying conversationally "I'll go send the rig on its way then" trying to take his leave discreetly, guessing from both ladies body language that right now, they did not want him around. Suddenly, Sara's out of the way location made sense. No one had any need to be within 100 yards of her unless they needed her specifically, which at this moment, no one did.
"Thanks Jim." Came Sara's absent-minded reply, her eyes still locked on the horizon, gazing out over miles and miles of barren desert. Catherine smiled at Jim as he passed her where she had stopped, a few steps behind Sara, before turning her gaze to her lover, passing a critical and loving eye over Sara's slumped body, assessing how her lover was really feeling, knowing that if she asked, the reply would be 'fine, I've only sat here all shift' or something equally self-deprecating.
As Jim's footsteps became less distinct over the general hum of the scene, Sara began to slowly turn around so that she was facing Catherine.
"Hey" came the simple acknowledgement from Sara
"Hey yourself" Catherine unscrewed the cap from the small bottle of water someone had handed her when she got to the top of the rope, drinking half of it in long gulps.
"You look…" Sara was unable to finish her thought, being transfixed by the twitching muscles and tendons in Catherine's neck as she drank the water
"Tired? Filthy? All of the above?" offered Catherine teasingly
"Sexy" came the breathed response from Sara, unable to stop the very unprofessional thoughts that were coursing through her brain from surfacing
"Yeah, right. You've lost it Sidle…" bantered Catherine, enjoying the fact that now, with no one around and the scene processed, she could stop being the controlled CSI Willows who called all the shots and become Cat, the woman in love with the incredible person currently a few feet in front of her
"You're beautiful, and very, very sexy." Continued Sara, ignoring Catherine's interjection
"Prove it!" came the instant, joking reply. Right now, Catherine didn't feel like behaving, didn't feel like she was on a scene. Right now, it was just Cat and Sara, oblivious to everything around them, which, for CSIs, was unusual, but then, the last few hours had been anything but usual. To Catherine's shock and delight, Sara began to speak in a low, serious tone, breaking down Catherine's appearance, investigating elements seemingly at random.
"Your hair: You've run your fingers through it so many times you've managed to break down all the mousse and spray you carefully put in it at home before shift. It frustrates you when it's like that, tousled that is, you prefer it when it's sleek and styled, you feel that little bit sharper. When your hair is like this you see only the bad things that accompany it: the long shifts, the desperation as you try to find the truth for someone, you remember only the bad times, the stressful times. But you don't see what I see, you don't see the good things: the smile that is all the more heartfelt when you do find the truth after the never ending shift, or the lazy smile of love you give me after you've climaxed in my arms, hair tousled from our loving. Your eyes: jaded with exhaustion yet sparkling with a love and compassion that's endless and inexhaustible. Yes, you're tired, the smudges on your cheekbones could be from the scene when you rubbed your eyes to keep yourself alert or they could be from within, but still you're radiant, standing proud….." before Sara could continue, Catherine moved with surprising speed and grace given that she was genuinely exhausted, and flew into Sara's lap, cutting off the words with a tender kiss.
"Flattery will get you everywhere." Teased Catherine when their lips parted moments later
"Will it get me in your bed?" asked Sara, jokingly, weary eyes sparkling with humour and something else
"It's your bed too…." Offered Catherine logically
"Valid point. Does flattery get you out of those overalls and into our bed?" tried Sara, the humour being tinged with passion
"Umm…depends" began Cat, snuggling further into Sara's body, relishing the feeling of comfort that the familiar position brought. Her snuggling stopped when she heard a groan rumble deep in Sara's throat
"What's the matter?" she asked seriously
"You, wriggling."
"I'm hurting you?"
"Quite the opposite."
"The opposite? What, I'm…oh!" Working it out, Catherine smiled and evilly wriggled a bit more, before resting her head in its favourite resting spot on Sara's shoulder, prompting another slightly more coherent groan
"Cat…"
"Only you would be aroused by me when I'm like this…." Began Catherine, about to list everything that was nasty in her view about her right now, only to be cut off by Sara
"Like this now, when you were standing in front of me, with your overalls undone to your waist and the sleeves tied round your hips, taunting me with the fact that I know you're not wearing anything more than your underwear underneath?"
"I'm not standing, I'm sitting in your lap" taunted Catherine, enjoying this unexpected diversion. Not rising to the bait, Sara continued
"My white t shirt that you stole from me, clinging to you in all the right places like a second skin, damp with sweat, enabling me to see the shadowy outline of your bra….." Once again Sara was unable to finish her thought as Catherine grabbed her face and pulled her into a passionate kiss. As Sara gently trapped Catherine's probing tongue between her teeth and started sweet torture, it was Catherine's turn to groan…in frustration as she felt Sara's phone vibrate against her stomach, seconds before they both heard the ringer. Separating, Catherine passed the phone to a now very aroused Sara, muttering
"Flattery gets you everywhere, talking dirty gets you me anywhere!"
Laughing in spite of everything, Sara answered the phone, wondering whose lousy timing they were now both having to suffer.
"Sidle"
*hello Sara* 'Oh shit' was suddenly the only thought Sara was capable of having, right before she shoved Catherine off her lap, earning her a very dirty look from her lover, and not in a good way.
"Grissom!" Now it was Catherine's turn, mouthing 'oh shit' at Sara, before walking over to the rail to look out over the scene, allowing Sara some space
*I saw the news. You have a big case.*
"Yes. What's the news calling it?"
*Mountain Crash – multiple vehicle accident. No real details.*
"That was the idea."
*You doing Ok though?*
"Yes thank you." Sara was, for some reason, not feeling very forthcoming with Grissom.
*Ok then. Just remember, there are no big scenes….* began Grissom, only to be cut off by a slightly frustrated Sara finishing for him
"Yes Grissom, I know, only smaller ones. Look, did you ring for a reason?" Sara regretted the harsh words almost immediately. For some reason, Grissom just being, well Grissom, right now, was enough to finally make her temper snap. However, before either Gil could respond to Sara's comments or Sara could attempt some damage control, the phone was plucked from her grasp
"Hello Gil."
*Catherine*
"How's it going?"
*Fine, I saw the news. I was ringing to see how Sara was doing.*
"Amazingly" responded Catherine, voice full of pride. By now, Sara had recovered her composure and, gratefully seeing that Catherine had taken over, took the moment to study her lover unobserved
*Catherine….* Gil had obviously been wanting something a little more forensic, a little more objective
"Look Gil, why exactly did you ring?"
*I said, to see how Sara was doing.* came the bemused response
"Really? Not checking up on her?" came the slightly acid question
*Catherine, I don't know what you're talking about.*
"No Gil, I don't suppose you do, you never do."
*I was worried how Sara was doing. The news made it seem like a very big scene.*
"It is a very big scene, the biggest I've ever worked, and Sara has coordinated it incredibly, and that's not my view, which I know you think is coloured, but the view of Jim Brass, Doc Robbins and the 200 or so Firemen and Cops that have all worked for her through the night." Finished Catherine, passionately. Gil Grissom may be her old friend, mentor and one time saviour, but Sara was her heart, her soul and her life.
*Ok then. I just thought I'd call….* Gil began in his slow, measured voice, only to be interrupted by Catherine's quick, angry words
"To check up on her? Because she hadn't called you for help? Because she hadn't needed you?"
*Catherine, it's not like that* The un-Grissom like evasive response was to Catherine much like a red rag is to a bull
"Why no quick decisive answer Gil? No Catherine, I wasn't ringing to check up on Sara, I wasn't ringing to see why she hadn't rung you, wanting my input assistance. You lost the right to do that when you played her."
*Catherine, I….*
Sara, who up until that point had been listening to Catherine's side of the conversation, now tuned it out, not interested in Catherine explaining to Gil exactly what he had done wrong, instead lost in the memory of that conversation, between her and Grissom, not long after she had taken over as night-shift supervisor and he had become head of the CSI department as a whole, which had resulted in the break down of their, admittedly limited, interpersonal relationship. Unusually, whilst Sara could remember the detail of the exchange exactly, the details of the case had now slipped to the darkest recesses of her memory.
"Griss, you got a minute?" asked Sara, as she had done countless times before
"What's the matter Sara?"
"This case, there's something not quite right about it" Despite the fact that she was now the supervisor, Grissom was still more senior, not to mention being the mentor-figure for both her and Catherine, and seemed the natural choice for Sara to turn to when she wanted to work something through.
"No Sara" came Grissom's neutral response, not tearing his eyes away from the tarantula he was currently holding in his left palm.
"I'm sorry?" Sara couldn't contain her surprise. Unlike many others, she was not offended by Gil's apparent rudeness by not bothering to look at her, she understood that. No, her surprise came from the fact that he seemed to be refusing to listen to her.
"I said, no, I will not listen to you talk to me about the case." Grissom's coldness was new to her, neutrality, yes, coldness, no.
"Why not?" Sara was struggling to comprehend what Grissom's reasoning was, and, as her patience, already slender due to the frustration they were all feeling about the case, began to wane, his neutral tone was not helping.
"Because you're in charge now: You are the one to whom people bring their problems to, not the person having the problem." Logically, Grissom was correct, but now was not a time for which Sara wanted cold logic, she was looking for guidance and support.
"I'll refrain from pointing out that I didn't want this job, but that I was shoehorned into it so the department could keep my mind!" Sarcasm was always a dangerous route to take with Grissom, but, in the absence of her ability to pace in front of his desk, it was the only outlet she had available to her, other than throwing something at him, which was not a good plan given what he was holding.
"Stop being emotional Sara, that won't help whatever the problem is." Grissom still hadn't bothered to look up at his increasingly frustrated CSI.
Sara, recognising that Grissom was not going to help her at all concerning the case, in fact, seemed positively uninterested in it, held back the smart comment that was advancing towards the tip of her tongue. Taking a few calming breaths, she replayed exactly what he had just said to her, trying to understand why he was so uninterested in her case.
"Ok, I accept you don't want to be bothered with this case. You've obviously got something more interesting to occupy your time with. And, if I had spent every night of the last 4 months beating a path to your door with small little questions about things I really did know the answer to, I could understand your behaviour now, but this is the first time I've come to you." At this point, Sara paused to see if her words were having any impact on her silent boss. Seeing none, she continued thinking aloud
"So, you're not mad at me for wearing out my welcome, because I've never had a welcome. In fact, come to think of it, there was no welcome. I came back after all my medical leave to an empty office with my name on the door, a pile of awaiting assignments and a slightly different salary. If ever there was a deep end, that was it." Sara took a moment, remembering her first few shifts. She had come back after almost a year away from the night shift, although she had been in the labs lots before then. Being supervisor wasn't what she would have chosen for herself, but then she had never been very good or interested in departmental politics. Suffice to say, a grand scheme had been worked out that ensured there was a place for her, playing to her strengths and minimising her most obvious weakness, namely her paralysis and the limits it placed on her ability to process a scene. Suddenly, in a moment of clarity, Sara spoke to the still silent Gil
"You played me. You and the Sheriff, you played me. You both worked out this neat little reorganisation so that you didn't have to be the one to tell me that, as a result of being shot in the back whilst working at that scene, not only had I lost the use of my legs, but that I'd also lost the job I lived for."
"Sara…" That got Grissom's attention, tearing it away from his tarantula, but Sara didn't give him a chance to interrupt, continuing
"I'd solved those cold cases for you, made the Sheriff a popular guy as he caught the un-catchable. I couldn't be fired, I was still too useful, despite being an inconvenience, and you wouldn't let him put me on medical discharge. You knew that my life was forensics, and you knew that I wouldn't cope well if you took away that, when forensics had just taken away my legs. So you treated it as a case, looked for the creative solution."
"Sara…." Again Grissom tried to interrupt, though interestingly, a part of Sara's brain noticed, he wasn't trying to tell her she was wrong, but instead sounding like a negotiator might when trying to start a bargaining process.
"And you found one. Ecklie leaving was an added bonus. With two shifts needing reorganising, the Sheriff could restructure the department. You became overall head, leaving a supervisor vacancy on both shifts. Making me supervisor seemed clever – I could poke around in the labs on any or all of the cases, as well as any cold cases when we were quiet, bringing glory to the Sheriff. Catherine, Warrick, Nick, any one of them could have been supervisor, but they were happy it was me because they were happy to still have me around, keeping the 'family' intact. All very laudable, giving the 'cripple' a chance" by this point, Sara was struggling to keep the bitterness out of her tone as she watched Grissom's face become pale, a rare event. She took this as an indication that she had hit upon the truth. Pressing for home, she continued
"It's mean, throwing people in at the deep end, especially when they don't know how to swim. And that's what you did, in your Grissom-like, 'it's better to learn on your own through personal experience and experimentation than be spoon fed' way. You threw me in at the deep end, and I was supposed to sink. The Sheriff hoped I'd find I couldn't cut it and resign, after all, I'd served my purpose, given him good press coverage with the cases and my injury. You were told not to help me, I'm hoping, told to let me be hung by my own pride." As Sara paused to reign in her emotions, determined that she wouldn't cry in front of this man, she allowed Grissom to speak
"Sara….I'm sorry." Was all he could think to say
"You're sorry? You're not going to tell me my theory is wrong?" asked Sara in disbelief
"Your theories are rarely wrong Sara, that's what makes you a great CSI." Came Grissom's pragmatic response.
"I was supposed to fail." Clarified Sara, struggling to belief what was happening
"The Sheriff wanted to put you on medical discharge immediately. That's when I gave you those cases to look at on the laptop. If you were still working, light duty if you like, he couldn't claim at that time that you weren't doing your job. Even he couldn't claim you were not pulling your weight in the department when you solved those two cases from your hospital bed. He knew, after that, that you had to be able to come back if you wanted to. Politically, all the ground he made with those cases of yours would be lost if the press got hold of how you were then treated. He told me to work out a way you could come back. I thought I was doing the right thing. You're an incredible CSI. I wanted to keep working with you." For Grissom, a man of few words, this was becoming a very verbose and emotional conversation
"So why ignore me when I did come back? You still spoke to the others." Asked Sara, her temper cooling as Grissom became more forthcoming
"I didn't"
"Umm, what did you think you were doing?"
"Giving you space to establish yourself?"
"Many saw that as you ignoring me." Clarified Sara
"Oh." Was all Grissom offered as they lapsed into silence
"You were jealous!" Sara explained suddenly, the fog lifting
"I was giving you space, to establish yourself." Repeated Grissom, now looking very uncomfortable and evading the comment
"The Sheriff wanted you to leave me on my own so that I would trip myself up and he could get rid of me. You rationalised it to yourself as giving me space, thinking I would come to you in time, need you, like I did before. But I didn't, because you made it very clear that you didn't want me to." Sara again paused, not quite sure where she was taking this conversation, but somehow instinctively knowing that the next volley had to come from Grissom.
"But you never needed me, not like before. You came back different, changed. You came back….alive." Grissom winced at how imprecise he sounded. Seeing that it was now Sara's turn to keep silent, forcing him to play, he tried again
"When we first met, you looked up to me and respected me, perhaps even aspired to be me. I was your goal as a forensic scientist, I was your mentor. Intellectually, we understood each other, but I think we also understood each other socially. Neither of us was keen on people, on needing people, on interacting with people. We found silence comfortable, but, I see now, for different reasons. You embraced silence not because it was what you desired, but because love and noise had been so painful. But that changed."
"Catherine. She was one who taught me to swim." Commented Sara, alluding back to the analogy she had used earlier when accusing Gil of abandoning her.
"Yes. You changed Sara, you became something incredible. I…." Gil couldn't find the words to accurately describe what he was feeling
"You were jealous of me, of my success." Offered Sara, saying the words Gil couldn't.
"You didn't sink, you didn't even float. You started swimming stronger than ever. I didn't know what to say or do." Came Gil's quiet, emotional admission.
"So you ignored me?"
"You once told me that by the time I'd figured it out, I could be too late."
"You think you've figured it out?"
"It doesn't matter now. It's too late." Came the deflated reply. Maybe once, Grissom might have expected Sara to argue with him, to convince him he wasn't too late, but not any more. Out of everything horrid that had happened to Sara Sidle, she had finally found for the first time, perhaps the only thing more valuable to a person than hope, unconditional love.
"Yes, it is." For someone who spent their professional life seeking out the truth, there was little satisfaction now that she'd found it. Just as Sara was about to manoeuvre out of the office, Gil started talking again, seemingly to the clock on the wall. Sara sat quietly and listened.
"Without respect, you and I, we have no relationship. I don't know if you still respect me, after everything I have said. I was encouraged to set you up to fail. When you didn't, I did not applaud or congratulate or encourage. As a mentor, I should have done any one of those things. As a friend, I should have done all of those things."
"Yes, you should" came Sara's calm, quiet response, knowing where Grissom was going, and not protesting.
"It's too late now." Repeated Grissom
"I don't know when it happened, but at some point, you lost my friendship, and I see now, I was no longer able to feel your professional respect. You will always have my professional respect, but, whatever we had, it is over."
"I know. I had already realised this. I will be leaving the city in three weeks. I have a new job at UCLA, back as a Professor. I will be teaching forensic science as well as entomology. I will still visit crime scenes, but only for the insects."
"Because of me?" asked Sara, trying not to let her emotions break free, recognising that this was not something negotiable.
"Because of me. It is time for me to change, to move, and, perhaps, to learn." Answered Grissom cryptically, obviously wanting the conversation to be finished. Understanding, Sara moved to leave, pausing at the door to ask quietly
"If I hadn't asked, would you have ever told me?"
"No"
"Thank you for not lying. Good luck at UCLA." Before Sara silently disappeared into the corridor. Others would have maybe argued, tried passionately reasoning, hoping to revive the friendship, but to expect that was to misunderstand the relationship that these two had. There were no second chances. Whatever they had, it was gone.
As Sara returned from the memory, Catherine was obviously just finishing her conversation with Grissom. As she hung up the phone, she turned to look towards Sara who, seeing the harried expression, wordlessly set on her brakes and opened her arms. Catherine didn't need a second invitation, walking over and settling herself into the familiar comfort of Sara's warm embrace, her head resting on the strong shoulder.
"I'm sorry that things went bad between you and Gil, I know he was important to you." Offered Sara
"Honey, let's not go through this again, it doesn't matter." Catherine had had this conversation with her lover many times in the last couple of years and felt that the situation was resolved. Bringing it up again, when they were tired, weary, hungry and half a dozen other things that all combined to make the ideal mix for an explosive argument, was not on Catherine's agenda. Instead, she pressed her lips to Sara's neck, tasting the unique flavours that mingled there, before saying
"Whatever Gil was to me pales into insignificance when compared against everything I feel for you. He may have helped me rebuild my life, but you rebuilt my heart, family and soul. Don't think about it now, nothing has changed from the last time you did."
"I'm sorry" was all Sara could think to say, prompting Catherine to grab her chin, angling the broken face so that they were looking into each other's eyes.
"Don't. You. Ever. Apologise. For. Loving. Me." Catherine delivered her words calmly and slowly, in a tone that brooked no room for argument, before leaning up and tenderly kissing Sara. When finally they withdrew, Catherine lightened the mood by saying
"That's more like it! I seem to remember being engaged in something similar right before we were so rudely distracted!" before kissing Sara again, knowing that every kiss, every gesture of affection exorcised another of her lover's recurring demons.
After a few quiet moments of romantic cuddling, as if by mutual telepathic agreement, both ladies separated, knowing that, even though their shift was over and Catherine at least had stopped for the day, they were both still at the scene and needed to return to their professional 'CSI' personas. By some unspoken agreement, Sara released Catherine from her embrace, allowing the blonde to 'dismount' before they both set off walking at a slow, even pace, towards the assorted collection of cruisers, fire vehicles, Tahoes and the like. As the walked, they fell into idle conversation
"Nick and Warrick seem to be making steady progress"
"Yeah. My guess is that they'll be coming up in a few minutes, and then we can all go and get some sleep and food!" said Sara, with enthusiasm
"Did I just hear that right?" teased Catherine
"What?" asked Sara, bemused and mentally recapping what she'd just said
"Did I just hear Sara Sidle, famous for working through double and even triple shifts actually announce the need for sleep and food? Call the National Enquirer, we have a scoop!" Catherine was enjoying herself a bit too much
"Ha ha, very funny Ms Willows" came Sara's sarcastic reply
"Seriously, I'm glad you want to sleep and eat…for one thing, you're my favourite pillow!" despite starting seriously, Catherine couldn't help herself
"So that's why you keep me in your bed, is it? Because I'm a good pillow?" Catherine couldn't tell from Sara's tone whether or not she was joking or being serious in her peevishness. Her lover had an excellent 'poker voice', though always gave herself away with her eyes – when she was teasing, those brown depths had a certain sparkle in them. Casting a sidelong glance at her lover, Catherine was disappointed to see that Sara had slipped on her sunglasses, giving Catherine only one avenue of response
"And so much better than any vibrator!!" Laughing at Sara's shocked expression, which was quickly replaced by what could only be described as a smug smirk, Catherine neatly sidestepped her lover's grasping arms and instead jogged up to chat to Jim, hearing Sara mutter
"I'm going to get you for that….."
Approaching the chatting Jim and Catherine, Sara looked around at everyone gathered, taking in the activity. Her attention was piqued by a small gathering of people, including a photographer, standing around the open back door of one of the two standby ambulances, pointing and taking pictures of something inside. Curious, she made her way over, quietly joining the back of the group before working her way to the front. What she saw when she got there almost made her burst out laughing. Instead, she quietly got out her cell and dialled Brass' number
"Jim, send Catherine over to the ambulance would you? There's something I think she should see."
Intrigued, Catherine and Jim crossed the highway and worked their way through the amused crowd until they were standing next to Sara
"Oh my!" came Catherine's immediate response, she too struggling to contain her laughter
"Sweet, isn't he?" countered Sara before turning to talk to one of the paramedics, recognising her as the one that Greg had been flirting with earlier
"Is he ok?"
"Greg? Oh, he's fine, just exhausted. We were just sitting in the back, chatting, when he got really sleepy. Before I really knew it, he was like that." At that, she gestured into the ambulance, where, on one of the gurney's lay Greg, fast asleep, curled up in a little ball, cuddling his pillow and, of all things, sucking his thumb!
"I think he'd probably be happier in the Tahoe so that he gets a ride back to the lab?" suggested Sara pragmatically, much to everyone's disappointment. They had been contemplating playing some pranks on the young CSI.
"Cath, would you do the honours?" asked Sara, suddenly struck by how similar to Lindsey he looked, in the sense that, asleep, with his oversize overalls and tousled hair, he really did look like the sweet little brother Sara still regarded him as, rather than the intelligent adult he actually was.
Smiling indulgently at her lover, Catherine made to step up into the ambulance, turning as she did, saying
"If he does anything funny, I'm trusting you to get it all on film!" before switching into 'Mother Catherine' mode.
Crouching down next to Greg's head, she spoke quietly in that universal Mother tone
"Gre-eg, time to wake up"
"Five more minutes mom" came the mumbled response. Smiling wryly, Catherine reached out and gently shook his shoulder
"Come on Greg, time to wake up" Rather than saying anything intelligible, Greg somehow managed to trap Catherine's arm in a hug. Surprised, Catherine cast a glance at her very amused lover, also noting the number of camera flashes before saying
"Greg, wake up. I want my arm back" in a rather firm tone. Greg's response was unexpected and surprising to say the least
"Come back to bed…plen'y time for snuggles" Before Catherine could say or do anything, Sara decided that enough was enough, saying in a loud voice
"Greg Sanders, stop mauling my girlfriend and WAKE UP!" causing the poor guy to wake right up and, visibly shaken, jump to his feet, neatly knocking Catherine onto the other gurney. Bemused, he tried to help her up, but, in his sleep-befuddled state, only succeeded in groping Catherine, all be it completely innocently, causing Catherine, who was struggling to contain her laughter to remark dryly
"I really don't think groping your boss's girlfriend is the quickest way to promotion" which succeeded not only in stopping Greg in his tracks, but also made him turn round, only to set eyes on a seemingly very stern looking Sara.
"Sara! Um, I'm…." Greg had turned so very bright red that Catherine couldn't help herself. She burst out laughing, but not before taking the poor guy out his misery, saying
"She's teasing you, I promise!" Greg was still unconvinced, but cautiously stepped out into the sunshine, being careful to stay out of striking distance from Sara, just in case. Seeing how nervous he still looked, despite Catherine's reassurances, Sara took off her sunglasses and smiled at him
"Seriously Greg, Cat and I were only teasing you. I know you would never hit on her, but I'm curious, who did you think she was, other than your mother that is!" which promptly made everyone around descend into giggles. By now, to show that there were no hard feelings, Catherine had emerged from the ambulance and, giving Greg a comforting pat on the back as she passed, settled into Sara's lap. This position, whilst familiar to Greg and Brass, was something the ladies normally didn't do in 'public' at work, and Jim, mindful of their preference for discretion, although they were by no means closeted, announced
"Ok folks, show's over, but whoever had the camera, negatives go to CSI Sidle BEFORE developing. Don't think you can sneakily print some copies, they're hers to blackmail with!" prompting a succession of 'Sure things' and 'Yes Captains' to echo around as the group broke up. Just as the final people dispersed, the distinctive Texan drawl belonging to CSI Stokes was heard, saying
"Show, what show? And what's Sara up to now?"
"Hey Nick, you finished?" asked Sara from under Catherine, who showed no sign of wanting to move, not that Sara would ever ask her to.
"Yeah. We've got all the obvious stuff, but if we need to, we can come out again. It's staying taped off right?"
"Yeah. Where's Warrick?"
"Right behind him….I'm beat man"
"But finished?"
"Yeah, like Nicky-boy says, I think that's everything, but we can always come out again."
"In that case, I think we should all head home!" declared Sara, only to get a series of weary noises of agreement from all except Catherine
"Great, she's fallen asleep on me. Umm, guys? Don't supposed one of you could push?" asked Sara, before the entire group of CSIs trudged over to the Tahoes, glad for once that not only were they finally leaving the scene, but that someone else could worry about securing it until they next needed it.