DISCLAIMER: Not mine. I promise I'm only borrowing them and will return them to their rightful owners whenever they ask for them back. My imagination took a flight of fancy.....my bank account stayed empty. (Seriously, the cast of CSI belong to CBS and Jerry Bruckheimer and Alliance Atlantis and I'm only borrowing them for some free daydreaming that I wrote down).
SPOILERS: None specifically, although good knowledge of what happens in general is required. There will be the occasional reference to a case seen on the show, with any eps up to the end of Season 3 regarded as fair game. It is from this point that the AU occurs, although back story from the show (such as Nesting Dolls in s5 most obviously) will be incorporated where relevant/appropriate.
SERIES/SEQUEL: This piece is a standalone piece in its own right, but there is a
companion piece of the same name in the L&O: SVU fandom (coming soon).
These two fics will combine to be a crossover......eventually
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Cold Feet, Cold Case, Warm Hearts
By ncruuk
Part Seven
In contrast to the majority of shifts, it was a pensive group of CSIs that gathered in the break room at the start of shift. Gone was the usual laid back banter and idle chatter, replaced instead with a focus and determination, characteristic of the CSIs when in the middle of a big case. The crash was still unproved, although they had already solved it in a manner of speaking, with the what and who answered, leaving just the why and how.
"Good news, there are currently no assignments for tonight, and no one has any priority cases running at present, do they?" Sara announced her presence with no idle chatter or preamble. Neither she nor the team wanted it.
"No, everything's sorted except Greg's tracks B and E, which is back with PD now" confirmed Catherine, adopting the role of shift spokesperson.
"Good. Warrick, how's the Coroner doing?"
"Good, considering. We managed to get all the remains grouped into bodies last shift, based on visual assessments. DNA has been running samples as confirmation through the day, but it's going to take a couple of days to get everything confirmed and correct. Doc Robbins said he was sending you a note?" Whilst DNA machines and lab technicians were fast, there was a limit as to how much they could process in a day, and this crash had generated literally hundreds of tests to run.
"I got it. He thinks he can release all by mid-week, maybe earlier depending on other cases. You agree?" It wasn't often that any CSI doubted the experienced coroner's assessments, but this was a slightly different situation, with the CSI team having to first complete a delicate jigsaw before the Coroner could then release bodies to families. It was the Coroner's assessment about the length of time to complete the jigsaw that Sara was querying
"I think so. If Nick and I can have most of a shift down there again, we should be able to check the matches and start on the identification. The more tests we get back, the more we can then give to David and the Doc for formal autopsies and then release" stated Warrick, taking his lead from Sara and the Doc, and choosing his words carefully. Even when you were as familiar with the destructive force of death as the Coroner and CSIs were, there were cases which prompted extra caution and respect, beyond their normal care and choice of language. This was one.
"Good. Before you both head back down there" and here, Sara paused to check that Nick was happy to be volunteered for this distressing task again, before continuing with her news
"I've received the report from the manufacturers of the hydrogen tanker. It's a preliminary report that was made by mechanics and engineers, not forensic scientists. They studied a tanker from the same phase of production as our tanker and have found a combination of mechanical faults that, if present, could conceivably generate the situation we have." There was a pause as the others absorbed this rather cryptic comment from Sara, broken eventually by Greg who had the least patience
"What does that mean for us though?"
"It means, we now have things to look for. This report, which was written from tests they did on tankers running on treadmills and around race tracks, gives us a possible scenario. If we can find evidence to support this report, AND the autopsies show no anomalies in the drivers of the vehicles, we can present a case of tragic mechanical failure that the manufacturer agrees with. If we can't prove this report, or the autopsies show something, well, it's a different sort of case" finished Sara awkwardly, not sure she wanted to think beyond the strong hope she now had for mechanical failure.
"How likely is it that we will spot the evidence we need to find?" asked Catherine, reading a subtly in Sara's body language that only a lover would spot
"Without the report to guide us? We would have, eventually. Having the report to work from helps a lot, but it will still be extremely difficult" admitted Sara honestly
"Surely it's like the last one was though? Newton's third law with a trigger?" asked Warrick, remembering the bus crash that had been triggered by a blow-out in a doctored tyre
"Newton's third twice. Two triggers, two chains of reaction, one consequence. We would have certainly found one, but we need to spot the second to have the whole story. One without the other wouldn't cause the crash" confessed Sara glumly.
"Like how that chemical in the tyre wasn't enough to cause the last crash, but with the bad bolts it was?" asked Nick, recalling more details of their previous big bus crash, some five years earlier
"Sort of, but we're looking for a bolt and a weak tyre. We found the bolt and it lead back to the tyre. This time, the bolt and tyre are separate, only it's not bolts and tyres, but bits of the steering mechanism – one faulty part in the steering wheel assembly, one faulty part in the steering mechanism on the axles." Explained Sara, hoping she was making herself clear
"In the steering wheel assembly?" queried Warrick, spotting Sara's problem first
"Yes, just behind the steering wheel apparently"
"Without that report, we'd be stuffed Man" came Warrick's honest assessment
"Agreed"
"What are you talking about?" queried Catherine, not making the connection that Warrick had
"Basically, we're looking for a bit of metal that chewed away the plastic and slipped….." began Sara
"But plastic melts and doesn't hold its shape……shit" Catherine soon caught up
"Which is why we've got authorised photographs coming from the manufacturer, supervised by the CSIs up there of controlled burns. We're looking for tiny parts and then matching trace residues and characteristics" confessed Sara, providing the final piece of the puzzle for Greg and Catherine, who, with Sara, would be working on this
"Brilliant! I get a huge truck to process and we're going to end up spending all shift peering through microscopes and doing spectroscopic analysis?" queried Catherine, none too pleased with the idea of a shift of hunched over microscopes. Somehow, given how large their evidence was, it seemed like an ironic insult. Understanding where Catherine was coming from and fully sympathetic, Sara gathered up her papers, signalling that the meeting was over, before commenting as they split up
"But only once we've found these tiny bits of metal!"
"You really know how to make a girl's night, don't you?" asked Catherine, before kicking herself about how easy a bait she'd laid out for teasing. Thankfully, tonight wasn't a night when people rose to bait quickly, and Sara continued
"Don't worry, you and Greg get to escape the needle in a haystack if some cases come in"
"What did we do to get that luck?" asked Catherine, amused at Sara's choice of words, the colloquial metaphor sounding strange from her normally so literal girlfriend
"You mean you don't know?" queried Warrick, reading Catherine well enough to know she thought it was time for a bit of harmless teasing, and, given her set up line, she was going to be the butt of it, whether she knew it or not
"Should I?" countered Catherine, relaxed
"Well, isn't it obvious?" teased Nick, enjoying the fact that the other three seemed not to have picked up on what Warrick had spotted.
"Oh no, no, we're not going there" suddenly, Greg cottoned on
"Going where?" asked Sara, innocently, having not really been paying attention
"Where those two are. No way was that the source of Catherine's luck" Greg was almost climbing out the back of his chair, so eager he was to disassociate himself from what Nick and Warrick were suggesting.
"Really? And after all those years when you were so sweet to me?" now Sara, having listened, was prepared to go out on a limb, having a good idea what the joke was, and for once, she was happy to join in.
Before anyone could make any further comment, Catherine suddenly started laughing, the penny finally dropping for her. Throwing her empty water bottle at Warrick as a gesture of mock anger and defiance, she stood, correctly guessing that Sara didn't have anything more to add, before leading the group of CSIs out of the break room and off to their various destinations to start their assigned tasks.
It was highly unusual for Sara to clock-watch as she worked, being normally so engrossed in what she was doing that hours went by unnoticed, but as Sunday's night blossomed into Monday's morning, Greg became more and more aware of the quiet rustle of Sara's shirt as she turned to look either at her watch or the clock on the wall of the garage, until finally
"You ok Sara?"
"Huh?" Despite being, by her normally intense standards, unfocussed, Greg's comment still startled Sara
"You ok?" repeated Greg carefully
"Fine" came the automatic bland response, only to be softened by the follow-up
"Why'd you ask?"
"I've never noticed you look at the clock whilst you work before, and you've just looked 5 times in the last 7 minutes" admitted Greg shyly, embarrassed to have called Sara, not only his supervisor and mentor, but also his friend on such behaviour
"You noticed huh?" asked Sara sheepishly, a light blush staining her face
"Missing someone?" teased Greg slightly, conscious that Catherine had left to go to a scene some 3 hours previously
"Not exactly"
"Oh?" now Greg was curious. He'd expected his previous comment to get either shot down dismissively by Sara as she so often did with questions about her personal life or ignored pointedly, but not half answered….
"I was more trying to make sure I missed meeting someone" elaborated Sara carefully
"Oh, so Catherine being at a scene in the middle of the desert wasn't the reason?" Greg, despite is continuing growing maturity, still had his 'teenage' moments
"Cheeky boy" Sara couldn't help the indulgent grin that crept onto her face. She'd always found Greg to be a nice guy and now, after everything that had happened, she found herself less awkward around him when he did become a little flirty or teasing with her, partly due to her being generally more relaxed but mainly because of the confidence she had in her relationship and love for Catherine
"I'll take that as a yes then!" was Greg's triumphant observation
"Yes, I am missing Catherine, but not for the reasons that your brain is currently collecting from the gutter" Sara tried to take the moral high ground until she caught sight of Greg's knowing look
"Ok, not just the reasons you're thinking of" admitted Sara, blushing
"More reasons than she's hot?"
"GREG!"
"Sorry, sorry, I'll grow up"
"Try" Sara's tone was dry
"So, why are you so twitchy about the time?" Greg decided that, since Sara was significantly better at evading his questions than he was trapping her, the blunt approach was best
"Because I don't want to be here a second longer than shift is"
"Hot date?"
"I thought you were trying to grow up?"
"Sorry. But you rarely deliberately leave on time, unless Catherine prompts you. If you do today, that's two shifts in a row" observed Greg, making a valid point
"I know" agreed Sara
"So what's so important that you're….wait, it's not what's important elsewhere, it's what's important for you not to be here for, right?" asked Greg, having suddenly realised what Sara was saying
"Yes"
"You want to leave on time so day shift don't get you?"
"Not exactly"
"Sara…." Greg was almost whining when she dodged his question again
"You need to be more patient when you interview" observed Sara, amused at how quickly he gave up
"But you're not a suspect!" protested Greg, although he did recognise she had a point
"We don't only interview suspects" reminded Sara, deciding to turn this conversation around a bit
"No, we interview witnesses" agreed Greg
"And what's a potential witness?" questioned Sara
"Someone with information that we might find useful."
"Exactly"
"You're not missing Catherine, at least, not just missing Catherine?" Greg seemed to have grasped Sara's point
"No"
"And you're quitting the minute you can?"
"The very second"
"Because you don't want to be caught here?"
"Yes"
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to be caught here. Come on Greg, you can do better than this"
"You don't want to be here any longer than you have to so that you don't get caught by someone who works during day shift hours…."
Sara didn't respond, waiting instead for the question to come, happy also to see how well Greg's technique had improved from his first ever attempt at extracting information
"Who are you avoiding meeting by leaving before they can have properly started their working day?"
*Bingo* thought Sara, that's the question he needed to have asked, and, as a quick glance at the clock showed, not a moment too soon, as shift was indeed ending in 10 minutes
"The Sheriff. He's back from holiday today"
"Ah, why didn't you say so?"
"Because suspects and witnesses rarely do. Can you secure this for me?"
"Sure, go ahead. You can buy me breakfast sometime" agreed Greg cheerfully as he recognised Sara's need to escape. No one liked meeting the Sheriff……thankfully, thought Greg happily as he started securing their work until next shift, the Sheriff didn't seem to like meeting junior CSIs much either!
"What time are you going in?" asked Catherine conversationally, as they got ready for bed after shift end on Monday morning.
"Start of shift, same as you"
"Not early?"
"No" Catherine turned, mid pillow fluff to look at Sara in mock disbelief
"What?" asked Sara, bemused at her lover's expression as she finished shuffling to get comfortable. In reply, Catherine reached out and, in that universal gesture instinctive of Mothers everywhere, slid her hand onto the back of Sara's neck, as if taking her temperature.
"Cat!"
"Just checking to see if you're running a temperature"
"Am I?"
"No" agreed Catherine, not removing her hand
"But you thought I was?"
"Thought, perhaps"
"Because?"
"Because I have never known you to take a full twelve hours off between consecutive shifts without one!"
"Oh" Still, after years of better behaviour, Sara couldn't shake her original reputation as a workaholic
"Everything OK?"
"Yeah, great"
"You want to tell me why we're getting a lie-in?"
"Does wanting to ravish you before work count?"
"As an excuse yes, reason no" Catherine knew Sara too well
"But I can still ravish you before work?"
"I was thinking of going in early….."
"NO!"
"Sara…." Catherine's tone told Sara that the time for playful teasing was over
"Monday is the Sheriff's first day back"
"And you want the power-crazed idiot to hassle Sofia not you?"
"Exactly"
"And not going in early guarantees you avoid Mobley?"
"He's got cocktails on the Strip at 7" confessed Sara
"And you know this how?"
"Some movie star's in town, it's in the papers"
"No wonder you're the Boss, with investigative skills like that" teased Catherine, relieved now she knew the real reason for Sara's slightly uncharacteristic behaviour
"Impressed enough to make love?" asked Sara shyly, as a hand snaked out to find Catherine's body
"Always" confessed Catherine, and turning out the light, she made good use of the hand still resting on the back of Sara's neck, using it to draw Sara in for a passionate kiss….
"Sara?"
"Bedroom, out in a sec" Satisfied with the answer, Lindsey went into her bedroom and dumped her school stuff before moving through to the kitchen to get a soda and cookie for her afternoon snack
"You know your Mom would prefer if you ate a piece of fruit" observed Sara, arriving silently behind Lindsey
"Sara!"
"Well, she would"
"A piece like one strawberry a piece?" tried Lindsey
"More like a banana sized piece"
"Two strawberries?"
"You really don't like fruit much, do you Linds?" asked Sara amused
"Umm…"
"Or is it just you don't like liking what Catherine and I suggest is good stuff to like?" asked Sara, taking full advantage of the fact that Lindsey still had too much respect for telling the truth
"Something like that" muttered Lindsey, wondering where this afternoon went so wrong so quickly
"Soda and cookie, after an apple or no soda" bartered Sara, intrigued to see what Lindsey would chose
"I can keep the cookie?"
"Yeah, and the soda, if you have a piece of fruit as well" confirmed Sara, amused to see that Lindsey was surprised that Sara was letting her have the unhealthy stuff. Lindsey thought about if for a bit, wondering what would happen if she said yes to the apple deal only to then skip it. Unfortunately, Sara's telepathy was working well
"And don't think about taking the deal and then skipping out on it. You're the only one we buy the soda for…."
"…which is why that's the trade for the fruit, not the cookie" spotted Lindsey
"Smart kid" agreed Sara, going to pour herself a glass of juice, having been weaned off soda during her recuperation, that being her deal to keep the coffee
"Does Mom know you're doing this?"
"Doing what?"
"Making me eat fruit?"
"Nah, she's too busy making the appointment for your vitamin shots with the Doc" teased Sara, knowing how much Lindsey did not enjoy shots
"Seriously?" Lindsey was still at an age where sometimes she still took everything Sara said as gospel truth
"Depends, what's your choice?"
"Apple, Soda and cookie?"
"Good call, red or green?" asked Sara, as she reached towards the fruit bowl, snagging a green one for herself, and, on hearing Lindsey's preference, tossing a red one towards her.
"Sara?"
"In the Kitchen" called out Sara, waiting for her lover to move through the house to join them
"Is Mom watching the game too?"
"No, Mom isn't. She's going to tidy her bedroom" explained Catherine, coming into the kitchen in time to hear the question
"Am I really that messy?" asked Sara, bringing up a long running joke between her and Catherine about her obsessive tidiness
"I'm going to tidy out my wardrobe whilst you two watch the game and, if there's time afterwards, have a bath with a good book"
"Sounds like a plan" agreed Sara, inwardly wondering if Catherine would be amenable to substituting the good book for her a bit later
"Do you want to go get the tape playing Linds?" prompted Sara, wanting a moment with Catherine away from young eyes
"Can I have a second soda with it?" asked Lindsey optimistically
"Yes, I'll bring it with me" agreed Sara, watching as the happy girl went out into the living room to set the tape up to play whatever basketball match she had taped on Saturday to watch now.
No sooner was Lindsey out of the kitchen than Catherine was in Sara's lap kissing her
"Mmm, is it wrong to be jealous of my daughter?"
"Depends on what you're jealous of"
"The fact that she gets to spend an afternoon with you whilst I just get your clothes to sort"
"But you had me this morning" observed Sara amused at Catherine's loving neediness
"We were asleep"
"Fair point. You could watch with us?" offered Sara
"No, I'm just being silly. Anyways, this is the thing you and Lindsey do together" said Catherine, leaning in for another kiss
"Sara, it's starting" came the shout from the living room, successfully breaking up the kiss
"Hasn't she heard of pause?" grumbled Sara good naturedly as Catherine took her daughter's none too subtle hint and got out of Sara's lap
"She's excited. Go and watch the game with her…." Catherine couldn't help smiling at the mock reluctance Sara showed at having to go and watch the basketball game, when she really did enjoy the time with Lindsey as much as the girl did
"…you'll get your reward in heaven….or a bath tub" finished Catherine, giving Sara a helpful push out of the kitchen as Catherine herself left en route to their bedroom.
"Tease!" whispered Sara, as she watched Catherine sashay across the living space, out of sight of the engrossed Lindsey who was stretched out on the floor in front of the TV, before she too became absorbed in the game…..
Letting the sounds of a happy family wash over her, Catherine began her seasonal rearrangement of the wardrobes. Since Lindsey was otherwise engaged with Sara and would therefore be even more reluctant to participate in the task than she normally was, Catherine had headed for the bedroom that she and Sara shared. Sitting on the bed, she looked into the open wardrobe doors, contemplating where to start – Sara's or her clothes, casual or smart……As she contemplated the problem immediately in front of her with her usual reluctance, the voices from the living room faded, to be replaced with the inner voices of a memory, the memory of the day that Sara and Lindsey's basketball routine began……..
"We'll just stop quickly to say hi to Sara and then we need to go so I'm not late at Court, ok?" asked Catherine, taking Lindsey by the hand as the weaved through the busy hospital corridors before reaching the elevators that would take them out of the chaos of the ground floor and up to the quieter floors that were the recuperation suites Sara was now in.
"Ok Mom" agreed Lindsey, not sure whether to be excited or sad. Seeing Sara was fun, but waiting at Court whilst her Mom did her job was not what the 9 year old Lindsey had hoped to be doing on the last day of her Christmas Break. On the plus side though…
"You'll be done in time to take me to Basketball?"
"Yes sweetie, I promise. Court doesn't run beyond a certain time each day, so if they do decide to keep me for a while, I will be free in time to take you to Basketball."
"The judge has a fixed home time, like I do at school?" asked Lindsey, not used to the idea that some adult jobs had a precise cut off time
"Yes sweetie, the judge has a proper home time, just like school. It's early enough for me to take you to Basketball."
"Ok then" Lindsey seemed to accept that, turning her focus now to watching the illuminated buttons in the elevator go on and off as they stopped at various floors, leaving Catherine to her own thoughts, like plotting the perfect murder for the defence council who had decided to recall her at short notice because he had one final question……
Distractedly, Catherine exited the elevator on the 7th floor and loosened her grip on Lindsey's hand now that they were on the calmer floors. Walking on automatic pilot, she threaded her way through the corridors, smiling automatically at the nurses and therapists she recognised, before arriving at Sara's room. Knocking on the ajar door, Catherine called out
"Sara?" by way of announcement as she slipped into the room
"Hey Cat" Sara was lying on the bed, and, as far as the frazzled CSI was concerned, was a gift from heaven. Forgetting everything, Catherine strode across the room and pulled Sara into a tight embrace, one that was happily returned by the brunette, and was culminated in a kiss that was heating up nicely, until……
"Mom, why are you kissing Sara like that?" Lindsey broke the moment with a verbal equivalent of a bucket of cold water
"Lindsey! I wasn't expecting to see you today" Sara was the first to recover, pulling out of Catherine's embrace and, in a remarkably normal voice, beginning a conversation with the kid
"Mom has to go to Court and Jill's got to go to the eye doctor, so I couldn't go to her house today" explained Lindsey
"Ah, you're going to Court too?"
"Yes. I sit with a policeman and do some colouring"
"Policeman?" queried Sara of Catherine who seemed still unsettled from kissing Sara in front of Lindsey, and so was currently watching the clouds thud by, a visual echo of her pounding pulse
"Court Official. She sits in reception and they watch her for me" explained Catherine in a whisper
"Sounds fun"
"It's boring" disagreed Lindsey vehemently
"Life can't be fun all the time Lindsey. Means you get really good at enjoying the fun bits when they come by though" explained Sara wistfully
"Was that what you were doing with Mom just now?" asked Lindsey innocently
"Yes, I guess you could say that Linds" Sara thought about it carefully her next response, glancing at Catherine to see if there were any hints coming from that direction. There weren't.
"You know your Mom and I are really good friends, right?"
"Yes, best friends, like me and Jill"
"Right. Now, there's a special type of friendship that adults can have, when they're more than friends" Sara wasn't quite sure she was explaining this right
"You mean love? Like in the books my bedtime stories are in?" Sara didn't know what the answer was to this, having never read Lindsey a bedtime story before, but thankfully, Catherine chose to come out of her coma at that point
"Like that, yes sweetie. You know when I hug you, you say you feel extra happy or better if you're sad?"
"Yes"
"Well, adults can have friends who give hugs like that"
"Sara is that sort of friend for you?"
"Yes"
"But you kissed her as well as hugging her" Lindsey wasn't the daughter of an investigator for nothing……
"Yes" Catherine's words seemed to fail her again. Thankfully, Sara, who still had one hand resting on Catherine's hip, discretely rubbing the sliver of skin exposed at her waist in loving support, seemed to be feeling very vocal today
"Lindsey, in your stories, the two adults, they fall in love?"
"And live happily ever after!" proclaimed Lindsey happily
"There are some bits though, that the stories leave out" began Sara, wondering if this was the best way of explaining this to Lindsey, but realising that she couldn't back out now
"I know, like going to the bathroom" giggled Lindsey
"True, but they also leave a bit out of the falling in love and living happily ever after bit"
"They do?" Lindsey's eyes were wide like saucers and for one awful moment, Sara thought she was going to burst into tears
"Yes, but not a bad bit, a good bit"
"What's missing?"
"The bit where you get to know each other really well. If you're going to live with someone happily ever after, you need to make sure you get on really well, don't you?"
"I guess" Lindsey didn't seem all that convinced
"Does that mean you and Mom are in love?" suddenly Lindsey seemed much brighter although Catherine now seemed to be frozen rigid, leaving Sara to tiptoe through the minefield
"We might be."
"You don't know?"
"We think so, sweetie, but it takes time to make sure" Catherine, on hearing Sara's tentative confirmation, relaxed enough to turn and face her daughter
"And hugging and kissing helps making sure?" asked Lindsey, thoroughly confused now
"It helps a lot. So does spending time together and talking."
"Oh. Do you feel better after one of Sara's hugs Mom?"
"Yes, I do sweetie."
"Do you think I could have one?" asked Lindsey shyly
"A hug from me? Course you can." Agreed Sara enthusiastically, untangling her arm from under Catherine's jacket
"Cat, can you help her up onto the bed?"
"Linds, kick your shoes off. You need to climb onto the bed"
Obediently, Lindsey did so and soon, with some help from Catherine, was sitting on the side of Sara's bed, snuggled into Sara's side, her arm wrapped across Sara's stomach, head resting on her shoulder. After a few moments, during which Sara and Catherine exchanged a warm smile, as if saying 'crisis adverted', happy to see Lindsey's fairly easy acceptance of their relationship, Lindsey raised her head, saying politely
"Thank you, I do feel better now"
"You're more than welcome to have a hug whenever you need one" offered Sara kindly, ruffling the blonde hair affectionately
"Will you give Mom one now? I think she needs another one"
"Why do you think that?" asked Sara, curious
"Because she's unhappy about going to Court" observed Lindsey astutely
"Ah, that's a good reason for a hug" agreed Sara, eyes sparkling with amusement but her voice matching Lindsey's serious tone
"I thought so"
"Is that why you wanted a hug?"
"Yes. I don't like going to court, even if Mom is with me and I stay with the policeman person. It's a bit scary and lonely" admitted Lindsey shyly, breaking the last barriers that Catherine had over her self control as a couple of tears ran down her cheeks.
"Court's meant to be scary for the bad people" observed Sara, keeping Lindsey's attention away from her crumbling Mom
"But I'm not a bad person, am I?" protested Lindsey
"No, you're not a bad person. But to make sure the bad people are scared by it, it can feel scary to everyone, even if they're good" explained Sara, trying not to let herself get caught up in her own memories about her childhood court experiences
"Even you and Mom?"
"Especially your Mom and me" agreed Sara
"Why? You're the best sort of good guy!"
"True, but we get scared too, scared about getting everything right and not saying the wrong thing. We have to get everything right to make sure the bad guys get punished" explained Sara simply, trying to get Lindsey to understand
"Oh"
"Would you like to stay here with me, rather than go to Court with Mom?" asked Sara gently, suddenly inspired
"Can I?"
"I think so. I'm allowed to have friends round all the time if I don't have stuff to do."
"Do you have stuff to do?"
"No, I did it this morning" Which explained, thought Catherine, why Sara was lying on her bed in what she knew to be Sara's most comfortable jeans, washed so often
they'd faded to a pale blue as the fabric softened, and her favourite 'loafing' t-shirt, with the faded Harvard logo, watching TV. She must have been worn out from her exercises and therapy….
"Can I really stay?"
"If Catherine doesn't mind"
"Mom? Can I stay with Sara instead of going to court?"
"Umm…." Catherine was shaken from her assessment of Sara's lean body by the word 'Mom', but had missed the rest of the question
"I can watch Lindsey here and you can come by and get her whenever you're finished" offered Sara, summarising Lindsey's question for Catherine's benefit
"If you don't mind?" Catherine was once again trying to contain the hammering of her heart. Here was Sara Sidle, the woman she was rapidly falling in love with, self proclaimed reluctant to interact with children, actually volunteering to watch her daughter, having first helped her daughter understand what was going on between the two of them, as they fell in love…..
"No, I don't mind" croaked Catherine, struggling to contain her emotion, or her sudden desire to shower Sara with kisses and profess her love to her
"Great! What are we going to do?" The moment was broken by Lindsey's sudden enthusiasm
"We are going to do something fun" observed Sara, as she discretely pressed her call button, summoning a nurse into her room
"But only after you've asked Annie nicely if she would take you to the cafeteria and get you some juice to have" suggested Sara pragmatically as she caught the eye of the arriving nurse who rapidly becoming like the mother Sara had come to wish she'd had….
"Hello Annie" said Lindsey politely, wriggling out of Sara's loose embrace and going over to great the older lady
"Hello Lindsey, did I hear Sara suggest we get some juice?"
"Yes please. I'm staying with her this afternoon. We're going to do something fun."
"Do we need to get some juice for your Mom too?"
"I don't think so, she's got to go to Court"
"Ah, sounds like a good plan"
"It is!" agreed Lindsey happily
"You know what would make it a better plan?" asked Annie, conspiratorially
"What?" whispered Lindsey, intrigued
"A piece of their special chocolate shortbread to go with the juice"
"Ooo, please Sara?"
Just as Catherine leaned in towards Sara, her intention being to dissuade Sara from agreeing, Sara discretely squeezed Catherine's hand in reassurance, a gesture supposed to communicate 'trust me' before saying
"A great idea!"
"I've got my pocket money in my bag….." began Lindsey, thinking carefully as she tried to remember how much she had
"It's ok kiddo. Tell the lady down there you're visiting me and it's my treat. Save your pocket money for another day"
"You sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure. Now, I think you need to say goodbye to your Mom……by the time you're back with Annie she'll have gone."
"Oh, ok. Bye Mom" Lindsey rushed over to her Mom and gave her a hug before saying
"Don't let the bad guys scare you into saying the wrong thing"
"I won't sweetie. Be good for Sara and Annie, kay?"
"I will. You'll be back to take me to basketball?"
"Promise" agreed Catherine, as she helped Lindsey pull on her sneakers before then watching her rush out of the room with Annie following at a more sedate pace.
As the door closed behind Lindsey, Catherine felt long arms snake out and surround her waist, before gently guiding her backwards and sideways until she was leaning against the bed by Sara's torso. Relaxing into the proffered hug, Catherine let her eyes close in contentment, revelling in the feeling of security and peace that the simple hug brought. After a moment, she let out a deep sigh as she realised that her wish to stay like this forever was a forlorn hope, with a court room expecting her presence soon
"You Ok?" queried Sara gently
"Hmm, not really"
"Oh?"
"I don't want to move"
"Ah"
"Can I stay here for ever?"
"If it was possible to do so without missing your court date, I'd give it serious consideration"
"Court, right"
"And I think Lindsey would think we were boring too" suggested Sara
"Ah yes, my daughter" Catherine brought one hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose, in a vague hope of forestalling the huge headache that was coming for sure
"Your daughter?"
"My precocious daughter who is now going to be on a huge sugar high all afternoon because you let Annie feed her shortbread"
"It's worth every hyper moment" said Sara, with total conviction
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because I happen to know that it's served on a plate, and plates aren't allowed out of the cafeteria. She'll easily take ten minutes to chomp through it"
"You've not seen the speed at which my daughter can inhale food" interrupted Catherine
"And then have to sit making polite conversation with Annie for another ten minutes whilst she digests it. Annie's very strict about letting one's food settle" finished Sara, ignoring Catherine's interruption.
"Oh, so, she's occupied for twenty minutes?"
"Certainly" breathed Sara huskily, as Catherine felt her using her grasp on Catherine to steady herself as she straightened from the reclining position she had been in so as to be pressed up against Catherine
"Sara" Catherine's tone was full of warning
"Yes Cat?" Sara was almost purring, making Catherine's knees go weaker than they already were and yet still somehow hold her upright
"I have to go to Court"
"You've got 15 minutes, they're still at lunch" Sara had an answer to everything, not to mention the softest kisses that were now fluttering across Catherine's over sensitive neck
"Mmm…..Sara!" Catherine suddenly forced herself out of Sara's comforting embrace, turning round so she was standing out of grasping distance and looking at her amused lover
"What?" If possible, Sara was looking completely innocent and totally unruffled
"I need to go to court"
"Yes, you do, but not yet"
"And I need to stay away from you"
"Why?"
"Because you do things to me, make me forget myself, lose myself in you…..forget that I'm visiting with Lindsey" Catherine's eyes clouded with panic
"Oh God, Lindsey saw us kissing"
"Was that a bad thing?" asked Sara logically, trying not to panic. She didn't want to think about what would happen if Catherine slammed a closet door in her face, not when she'd only just managed to take her own door down…..
"No"
"But?" queried Sara gently
"I would have preferred to talk to her about it first. There are better ways of introducing the concept of you and me dating to her than kissing like that in front of her"
"I think she coped"
"Did she?"
"Yes, but I'll talk to her whilst you're in court, make sure she's alright" offered Sara
"I thought you didn't like children?" questioned Catherine gently, stunned by the unending generosity and calmness which Sara seemed to have
"Generally, I don't, but some are special"
"Brenda Collins?"
"And Lindsey, but different reasons" By now, Catherine had gravitated back into Sara's embrace. Melting into Sara's embrace, Catherine felt that magic combination of security and peace again. Letting her thoughts drift, they gradually coalesced into a ball of conclusion, a conclusion that Catherine may have expected to feel surprised by, but instead….
"Hmm, you know something?"
"What?" asked Sara softly
"I think I'm falling in love with you"
"That's good to know" Sara tried not to break out into a big happy grin
"It is?" murmured Catherine, snuggling deeper into Sara's body
"Very good"
"Ok"
There was a pause
"Hmm, you know something?"
"What?" asked Catherine
"I've fallen in love with you" whispered Sara, brushing a kiss on Catherine's head
"That's good to know" Catherine echoed Sara's words
"It is?"
"Very good"
"Ok"
There was another pause, a contented pause, as both ladies tried not to let the other one learn of the fireworks currently going off inside them.
"Hmm, you know something?"
"What?" Catherine couldn't help but smile at the repeated phrase
"You have to go to court"
"That's not good to know"
"No"
"I have to move, don't I?"
"Yes, but you're coming back"
"To collect Lindsey" confirmed Catherine, realising what that meant. No loving snuggle, no tender kiss from her girlfriend, but the excitable love of an energetic nine-year old who…
"Has a sleep-over at Jill's after practice" pronounced Catherine, enthusiastically
"Huh?" For someone so smart, Sara was having a rare but allowable 'slow' moment
"I've got to come back in 3 hours to collect Lindsey for basketball practice…" began Catherine, hoping her hunch was correct
"Which is two hours long, I remember"
"And, after those two hours, Jill's mother is taking Lindsey home and they're having a camping-out party in a tent overnight. I'm picking Lindsey up at 10am tomorrow morning."
"When she'll be cranky from marshmallow high and sleep shortage" observed Sara astutely, earning her a playful slap
"Don't spoil today's fun by reminding me of tomorrow's dilemmas"
"Who said that?"
"Catherine Willows. Can I finish?" teased the older woman, conscious that time was advancing
"Sorry, go ahead" mumbled Sara contritely, still not spotting what the excitement was suddenly about
"I drop Lindsey off at 6pm for her basketball practice and next pick her up at 10am. I have the night off" Catherine paused, wondering if Sara had caught on yet
"So you don't have to then take her to Nancy's…." Sara was on totally the wrong track, prompting Catherine to take her out of her misery
"So, I have the evening free…." Began Catherine, full of her usual confidence, only to finish rather shyly "…and I was wondering if you'd care to go on a date?"
"A date?"
"Yes"
"Me?"
Instinct told Catherine to bite back some snappy remark about 'the other woman I love', guessing that Sara's notorious self esteem and confidence issues were re-emerging again
"Yes. Sara Sidle, would you go on a date with me this evening?"
"Umm…" that was not the response Catherine had been hoping for or expecting
"Umm?" she queried gently
"How?" Ever pragmatic, Sara was stumbling on the physical practicalities
"You're allowed take out, right?"
"Umm, I think so" agreed Sara
"And you're allowed out of bed now?" queried Catherine, trying not to remember the weeks when the younger CSI had been strapped to a hospital bed as surgeons decided how best to stabilise her damaged spine
"Yeah, my chair and the sofa" agreed Sara again, gesturing towards the wheelchair and little collection of sofa and easy chairs in the corner of her room, by the window with the view of the Strip
"So, do you think, perhaps, if I came back about 7pm-ish in some comfortable clothes" here, Catherine gestured disparagingly at her "Court" suit, "with some take-out Chinese and a DVD, you might be able to join me on a date?"
"On one condition" stated Sara seriously, although her eyes sparkled mischievously
"Yes?"
"Skip the DVD. I think I'm old enough now that I don't need a cover for making out with my girlfriend…..who's going to be late for Court!"
"Shit!" Sara was right
"You come in a Tahoe?"
"Yeah"
"Use the lights and you'll be fine"
"See you later?"
"Always" replied Sara seriously, before snatching a quick kiss
"Go!" And with great reluctance, but general overall enthusiasm, Catherine went.
Catherine was pulled from her recollections by the ringing of the phone. Reaching across the bed which at some point she had laid down on, she answered in her usual fashion
"Willows?"
"Jack, what a surprise!"
"That sounds like a lot of fun. Hang on, I'll go and see"
Placing the phone on the bed, Catherine walked out into the living space, surprised to see the clock on the basketball game had advanced so far. Evidently, she'd been daydreaming for longer than she had thought.
"Linds?"
"Yes?" Lindsey looked back at her mother over her shoulder as Sara paused the game.
"Jack's just rung. His sister's arrived with her kids, you know, Sophie and Jess?" Intrigued, Lindsey pushed up off her stomach and turned to sit cross legged on the floor, facing Catherine
"And they're going to take Lucy for a long dusty walk in the desert before then giving her a bath. He was wondering if you'd like to join them, and then perhaps have a sleep over, something about watching that new DVD you were talking about?"
"Really?"
"Yes" Catherine and Sara could see the excitement in Lindsey
"Can I go Mom?"
"Depends. Have you done all your schoolwork for tomorrow?"
"Yes. It's math and Spanish due tomorrow, and I did those yesterday."
"Jack's waiting on hold then. Go and talk to him in our bedroom" agreed Catherine, happy that Lindsey's schoolwork wouldn't be interrupted. Laughing at the young teenage whirlwind that swept through their living room, Sara turned the now forgotten game off, and held out her hand to her partner, a hand Catherine gladly took, only to yelp in surprise when a firm tug pulled her over the back of the sofa and into the lap of her lover.
"Hey!" she protested weakly, getting distracted by the feel and smell of Sara as she was surrounded in a loving embrace
"Hey?" queried Sara, amused
"Hey, what was that for?" elaborated Catherine
"I missed you"
"I was only in the next room for what, an hour?" asked Catherine, glancing at the VCR clock"
"Yes, but still, I can miss you can't I?" asked Sara, plaintively, nuzzling Catherine's hair as she spoke, creating an interesting sensation for Catherine. There was only response to that as far as Catherine was concerned. Turning her head, Catherine pulled Sara into a deep kiss, letting her know exactly how she felt about Sara missing her. After a few moments, a flushed Sara pulled back from the kiss…
"I guess you missed me to huh?"
"Umm" In all honesty, Catherine really didn't know how to answer that.
"You got that caught up in sorting your clothes?" teased Sara
"Not exactly. I umm, haven't sorted any clothes yet" admitted Catherine shyly
"Oh? What did you occupy yourself with then?" asked Sara, curiously
"I was daydreaming, about you."
"Me?"
"Yeah, that first time that you watched Lindsey whilst I went to court, and Annie fed her shortbread?"
"Oh, ok" Sara hadn't seen the significance of the memory to Catherine
"It was the first time you and Lindsey watched a basketball game together…" began Catherine
"Of course" Sara grinned, glad to have located the memory
"She was so full of all the 'neat' stuff she'd learnt from you."
"Ah, well, I got a bit excited…."
"It was cute"
"Ok…" there were many things Sara could cope with easily now. Being called cute was not one of them.
"Lindsey really enjoyed herself, still does. It's her special 'Sara-time'." Explained Catherine patiently, recalling the enthusiastic daughter she'd collected after her court appearance
"Yeah, it's nice" Sara was starting to clam up again, prompting Catherine to decide to ask the question she'd been meaning to ask all through the intervening years but never quite managing to, often being distracted instead by something or, more accurately, the kisses from someone.
"I never knew then you were a basketball fan" began Catherine tentatively, snuggling into Sara's inviting body
"I'm not, really" admitted Sara
"And yet you know all this stuff about tactics and things?" queried Catherine gently, determined to follow another thread that was part of the complex tapestry that made up Sara
"Yeah" Sara wasn't making this easy
"How? I mean, if you don't like the sport, how do you know all this stuff. You didn't play before, did you?"
"No. I learnt it at Harvard. It was a trade"
"A trade?"
"Yeah. Geometric algebra was late on a Friday. Josh took the class but was on a basketball scholarship. He had to go off to all the matches and missed the class, but he couldn't fail it either, otherwise he'd lose the scholarship."
"So you tutored him?"
"Yeah. Monday mornings, we'd go through geometric algebra and then he'd teach me how to appreciate basketball plays Tuesday afternoons when the women's team practiced on the outside courts."
"And he did this why?" queried Catherine, intrigued
"Ah, um, he well…" Sara's stumbling caused Catherine to smile. She really was cute when she stumbled, normally over the retelling of something that was a compliment to her..
"Go on" prompted Catherine gently, kissing the nearest bit of exposed skin, which just so happened to be the base of Sara's neck, just inside the opening of her shirt, causing Sara's breathing to change subtly
"Ah, well, Josh was a good guy, but a jock, full of himself, you know?"
"Good looking, knows it, expects the girls to swoon?"
"Ah, yeah, but he was sweet about it too"
"And he wondered why you didn't swoon?"
"Yeah" agreed Sara, thankful that Catherine was helping her out with this story
"Did you tell him?"
"That I didn't swoon because I was gay? He guessed, and, well, I blushed and he took that as confession"
"And he was ok?"
"Yeah, actually really good about it."
"So…" sometimes, thought Catherine, getting Sara to tell stories was like getting blood from a stone…not that Catherine minded, as it made the stories she did tell that much more special in her view
"So he decided, based on some frat cliché or something that the only way I would ever meet nice gay girls was if I knew sports, so he decided to teach me basketball….not to mention it gave him a good excuse to ogle the girls team"
"And you!" teased Catherine
"Huh?"
"Come on, don't tell me that Sara Sidle, aged 19, wasn't aware enough to ogle the women's basketball team too…"
"Umm"
"Sweetie?" Catherine realised she'd maybe teased one step too far
"Yes?"
"Stop thinking"
"Huh, why?"
"Because you're so much better at kissing me senseless when you do"
"Oh"
"Sara?"
"Yes?"
"That was a hint"
"Oh"
Smiling, Sara forgot about the shadows of her past, and leant forwards, ready to indeed kiss Catherine senseless, only for a voice to shout
"Mom? Jack's stopping by in half an hour! Where's my sleeping bag?"
Which neatly spoilt the moment, causing Catherine to groan in frustration. Much as she loved Lindsey, well, there were occasions when her timing left a lot to be desired.
"In the cupboard, where it always is" called out Sara helpfully as she watched Catherine bury her frustration and compose herself before standing up to go and help her daughter.
"We'll be revisiting that moment" muttered Catherine as she left her comfortable seat
"Is that a threat or a promise?"
"Oh, a promise, most definitely a promise" purred Catherine as she straightened her shirt
"Good, because right now I have the threat of a steaming Sheriff if I don't think about going to work soon and taking pity on him." Muttered Sara pragmatically
"Now that's a mood killer" agreed Catherine grimly as she left to go and help Lindsey as Sara set about getting herself ready for work.
Thirty minutes later saw "Whirlwind Lindsey" hurrying up the driveway to meet Jack and his equally excited nieces. Smiling from the doorway at her excited daughter, under strict instructions not to embarrass Lindsey by waving or anything else that might be equally demonstrative, as that wasn't "cool", Catherine couldn't help but notice how quiet the house now felt, so deserted. The truth was that of course, it wasn't, being still occupied by Sara and Catherine, but the feeling was more a testament to how exuberant and vivacious their lively daughter could at times be, something that Catherine would never complain about, not when you could consider all the alternatives that seemed to be possible with teenagers. Closing the front door, she turned to head back to the sofa, only to be met by her lover, who, judging by appearances, seemed ready to go out.
"Going somewhere lover?" queried Catherine, leaning back against the door
"Work?" queried Sara, wondering what Catherine might be up to
"Oh, so early?" Catherine's tone and body language was beginning to border on flirtation
"I have lots of paperwork...." began Sara, idly turning her wheels in opposite directions, making the chair turn left to right and back again. It was the exact replication of a foot shuffle.
"Paperwork's important" agreed Catherine, the flirtation becoming more blatant now, as she raked her gaze greedily over her lover
"Yes, it is" agreed Sara, pausing as she obviously, to Catherine's experienced and well trained eye, tried to quickly size up and analyse what was happening
"And I need to let the Sheriff find me"
"Take him out of his misery?"
"I suppose"
"Very courteous of you"
"It is?" Sara couldn't help but start to wonder if they were not talking at cross purposes, for Catherine's responses were a little strange
"Yes, going in early so the Sheriff can see you during his hours, letting him vent his accumulated emotion, rather than stay home....that's very considerate of you"
"Ah, ok" Still Sara continued with her 'foot shuffling', her backpack resting neatly in her lap
"But the Sheriff won't appreciate that you went in early, will he?"
"No" Sara was no officially confused, not at all clear as to where Catherine was heading, or why, if she was feeling so flirty, was she talking about Mobley!
"And all that emotion that he vents, it's not going to be fun, is it?"
"No"
"So your efforts won't be appreciated...." By now, Catherine's eyes were smoky with desire, something which Sara was always amazed to see in her lover's eyes, but now, now she was just plain confused
"Cat?" Sara's curiosity overrode any will power she might have had, prompting her to finally directly question her lover, who, not needing more than a second, pushed off the door and with a feline grace and agility, prowled across to Sara, depositing backpack on floor and herself in Sara's lap
"You're not going to work yet"
"I'm not?" Sara's response was slightly strained, on account of Catherine's tongue unerringly finding all the weak spots on her neck
"No, you're staying here"
"I am?" Sara's response was now more of a croak as Catherine's hand slipped under her shirt
"You were going into work to be on the receiving end of an emotional outburst, correct?"
"Yes!" Catherine was making it very difficult for Sara to sustain her side of the conversation
"To be shouted at?"
"Yes"
"As I said, very kind and generous of you...but wasted on the Sheriff"
"Oh?" Catherine's hand and mouth had stilled now, allowing Sara's brain to restart
"Yes. You're going to do something different now Sidle"
"I am?"
"Yes" It was now Catherine's turn to find conversation difficult, as Sara's hands slipped under her shirt
"Is it going to involve emotional release?"
"Yes" Long fingers caressed Catherine's back
"And me having to hear someone scream and shout my name?"
"God I hope so" Catherine's response was more a moan than actual speech
Suddenly Sara's hands were gone, prompting Catherine to look at Sara to discern the cause of the stoppage, only to be greeted with an animated and amused face
"Hadn't you better start running the bath then?" teased Sara, as she repositioned Catherine in her lap slightly
"Why you..." Catherine's words trailed off as firstly she realised they were moving, as Sara carefully propelled her chair towards their bedroom and secondly...
"You set me up!" exclaimed Catherine, realising how gloriously wrong footed she had been by her lover
"Yes"
"And here I was trying my damnedest to seduce you!"
"I know" Sara's grin was infectious
"Damn you're good" said Catherine, conceding defeat
"Yup!"
"And so sexy when you're full of it" teased Catherine, to which Sara just replied
"Get in that bath tub Willows, I've a reward to receive!" as she gently pushed Catherine off her lap onto their bed, before continuing through to the bathroom to get into the tub.