DISCLAIMER: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters therein are the property of Dick Wolf and Wolf Films in association with Universal Network Television. I just borrowed the characters for the story. No money comes my way for this.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: My first attempt. I'm a slow starter.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Coming Together, Finding Home
By Lauren
Part 3
Friday morning Olivia was awake a little before 6:00 a.m. Weatherman said clouds with the possibility of snow. She got into her running clothes, opting to get an early start. As she closed the door to the entryway, she wondered who might show up today. She knew Alex was going to be there, probably Elliot and Kathy, Munch, Fin and Cragen, but they were her people. She wondered if anyone her mother knew would show up. An hour later, her mind clear from her time in the cold, she returned to her apartment, showered, dressed and headed to work.
Shortly after arriving at the squad room, Olivia's cell phone rang as she was pouring a cup of the sludge the guys called coffee. "Benson."
Alex smiled at Olivia's cop voice. "Hey detective, how're you doing?"
"Alex?" Olivia looked at her watch it was 7:20 a.m. "What are you doing up so early?"
"I'm heading to the office so I can take care of a couple of things before I meet you at the funeral parlor. Let me guess, you're already at the precinct."
Olivia grinned into the phone, "You know me so well. I was up at the crack of dawn, went for a run and thought I'd come in and work on some reports before the funeral."
"I thought so. When I couldn't reach you at home I figured you were already gone. Hey, I have the whole day off if you're interested in blowing off work this afternoon. My calendar mysteriously cleared itself."
"Right, mysterious, as in, you called in a few favors and passed some cases on? You didn't have to do that."
"Actually, I have ulterior motives. I was thinking of a road trip, maybe to the New Hampshire Mountains, if you're interested." Alex hoped that she kept the pleading tone out of her voice, but she really wanted to take Olivia away from the city for a few days.
The thought of being alone with Alex in an intimate setting caused tingling sensation to run through her body. It also scared her just a bit. She debated the wisdom of accepting the invitation, but she was too tired to fight it today. "Sure, why not? Let me talk to Cragen. I'm sure it'll be no problem. He's been pushing me to take some time off since my mother died."
"That sounds great. There's a place I know in North Conway, belongs to a friend of a friend. Fireplace, no phone, no T.V., nothing but peace and quiet for a couple of days. There're a lot of little shops up there. We can do some Christmas shopping…. Look, I have a couple of things I need to do. I'll see you at about quarter of ten."
"Ok, bye." Olivia grabbed the cup, and went to her desk. She was starting to like the idea of time away. Suddenly aware of someone standing by her desk, she looked up to see Munch appraising her. "Hey, what's up?"
"I was about to ask you the same question. Why are you here?"
"I work here."
"Yeah, I know that, but don't you have a funeral today?"
"Yeah, I know, listen I've got some work to do before I get going. You mind?" Olivia wasn't in the mood for one of his dissertations.
"Not at all. Listen, Olivia. I'm sorry about your Mom."
"Thanks," was all Olivia said as she turned her attention back to the report, waving him off. She'd be glad when this was over. Everyone was walking on eggshells around her and it was driving her crazy. Munch stood there a bit longer, as if he was going to say something else, but must have thought better of it because he finally went back to his desk.
The funeral had been short with few in attendance. Alex stayed by her side. As expected, the SVU squad paid their respects, along with a few people Olivia didn't know. What a sad way to end a life, she thought. After everyone left, Alex turned to Olivia.
"You want a couple of minutes alone before we head out?"
"Yeah, you mind?"
"Not at all. Take your time, Olivia."
Alex was surprised to see Olivia walk out of the viewing room a couple of minutes later.
"You all set?" Olivia asked.
"Yeah, let's go."
"I have to swing by my apartment to pack a few things."
"Ok." They walked over to the Suburban Alex had rented. The snow had stopped and the clouds were thinning. It looked as though the sun might make an appearance after all.
Alex pulled up to Olivia's apartment and they entered silently. Alex figured Olivia would talk when she felt like it. They had all weekend.
Olivia went into the bedroom to pack a few things. She thought about her mother and her emotions got the better of her. She realized that she had been folding the same shirt over and over again. She cried silently for a lost life; a tormented woman who loved Olivia unconditionally, despite how she was conceived. She never made Olivia feel anything other than cherished. She was never able to stop the demons that tormented her though. She drank, Olivia knew, to numb the pain.
She wasn't sure how long she had been lost in the memories when she heard Alex call her name. "Yeah, I'll be there in a minute." Wiping the tears from her face, she finished packing and joined Alex in the living room.
"All set." Olivia said. Alex knew that she had been crying, but let it go.
Alex turned onto Route 287 and settled in for the long drive. It would take about five hours. She turned the music on low and concentrated on the road.
Olivia was quiet and looked out the side window. She was beat.
Alex reached over and touched Olivia's arm. "You okay?"
Olivia turned toward Alex and said, "Yeah, I'm just really tired. It's been a hell of a week."
"I know. This weekend away will be good for you; nothing but R & R. We'll have to do some food shopping when we get up there. You're cooking."
Olivia raised her eyebrow and said, "I'm cooking? How did I get roped into that?"
"Well, since I took care of everything else, you have to do something. I figured cooking was it."
Olivia smiled and agreed. "Ok, you got it. You have clean up though."
Alex turned her attention back to the road as the silence settled over the pair again. Olivia dozed off and Alex smiled at her friend. What I wouldn't give to take away some of that pain.
When they left Connecticut, Alex rustled Olivia. "Hey, sleepy head. You won't sleep tonight if you don't wake up soon."
Olivia yawned and stretched. "Where are we?"
"Massachusetts. We've got another couple of hours to go. I didn't want you to sleep all the way there. You'd be up all night wanting me to play cards or something."
"Nope. You wouldn't hear a peep out of me."
Glancing at her watch, Olivia saw that it was a little after one o'clock. "You hungry?" she asked Alex.
"Not really. How about you?"
"A little, but I can wait."
They drove the rest of the way in relative silence, arriving mid afternoon. They found a grocery store on the main road, and headed to the cabin. Alex felt relaxed and was enjoying Olivia's company. She realized how much she loved spending time with her, hell, how much she loved Olivia. It was unrequited she knew, but as long as she could be with her, Alex would manage.
They arrived at the cabin, unloaded the SUV and set about making an early dinner. Despite informing Olivia that she would have to cook, Alex shooed her out of the kitchen, telling her to pick a room and unpack. Alex made salad and put some chicken in the oven. Once that was done, she got her own stuff, and went to the other room. Calling out to Olivia she said, "Hey, can you start the fire?"
"Yeah, no problem. Want to tell me where the wood is?"
"It's stacked up out back. There should be some newspaper in a box by the fireplace. Matches should be right there too."
"Okay, I got it." After some effort, Olivia managed to light an acceptable fire.
After dinner, they both cleaned up and poured some wine, taking it to the living room. Even though it was dark it was still early. Olivia checked the fire and sat on the floor in front of the couch, facing the fireplace. Alex picked the couch.
Olivia relaxed. She needed to regroup and this was a damn fine way to do it. She turned to Alex and said, "Hey, thanks for this. I'm glad we came up here."
"Good thing you agreed. It wouldn't have been as much fun by myself."
"I appreciate it. Anyway, how was your week? Anybody manage to beat you?"
"Ha. Ha. I was pretty successful. A couple pled out and another is this close to conviction. I'd say it was a good week. I have a Motion to Dismiss waiting for me on Monday, which I think we have a pretty good shot at winning, so I guess I'm on a roll."
"More notches in your belt counselor. Remind me never to be opposite you in a court room."
"I'll keep it in mind." Alex decided that now was as good a time as any to bring up the subject of Olivia's mother. She took a sip of wine and said, "Olivia, how're you doing, really?"
"I miss her and it sucks, if you want to know the truth. I keep thinking that it was inevitable, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I used to expect it all the time. Finding her like that I mean. It got to be a way of life. I'd go home, never knowing if that was the day. It was awful. The weird thing was, she didn't drink all the time. She'd go on binges for weeks at a time and then suddenly stop for more weeks than that. I almost got used to her not drinking, and then it'd start up again. I learned early not to count on her for much."
Alex listened as she spoke. It gave her insight into Olivia's elusive state of mind and she began to understand why Olivia was reluctant to get emotionally involved with anyone. Alex was all the more determined to prove that she was a good risk. "Did you have anyone you could talk to or who could help you out with your Mom? I mean, wasn't your father around? Relatives, that sort of thing?"
Olivia blanched at the mention of her father. She got up and poked the fire, adding another log. It was a long moment before she spoke. "I never knew my father." Alex watched Olivia's back and the sagging shoulders. She had apparently struck a nerve.
"Listen, Liv, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Alex's eyes never left Olivia.
"No, it's ok." Olivia debated whether or not she should tell Alex, afraid it would make her feel sorry for her or something. Maybe she'd be sickened by it. Olivia returned to her spot on the floor. She cared a lot more about Alex than she was willing to admit. It was better for her to know now, wasn't it, in case she couldn't deal. With a start, Olivia realized that she loved Alex and wanted to spend more time with her. The possibility of a more serious relationship wasn't such a bad idea anymore. The death of her mother made her realize just how alone, and lonely, she really was. Without looking at Alex, she decided.
"My mother was raped when she was twenty. She got pregnant by the rapist." Long pause. "I'm the result of that rape." Olivia took a long sip of her wine and stared intently at the glass, as if looking for some minuscule defect. She was afraid to look at Alex. She didn't want to see the revulsion on her face. She heard Alex shift and was startled by the feel of Alex's hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she saw Alex smile.
"Thank you."
"For what?" Olivia looked away.
"That must have been incredibly difficult to say. Thank you for telling me." Alex squeezed Olivia's shoulder.
"I know I never talk much about my family. Her dying, it's like a chapter of my life is closed. I don't have to look in her eyes anymore and wonder if she sees him." The tears slid down Olivia's cheeks and she impatiently brushed them away.
"It doesn't make any difference to me, you know, in case you were wondering." Alex slid off the couch next to Olivia and put an arm around her shoulder. Olivia remained rigid, feeling dirty somehow, not wanting Alex to touch her. She didn't, however, push her away. "Olivia, look at me."
Olivia didn't move. She felt Alex's hand cup her cheek and gently turn her face. "It isn't who you are." Olivia's tears continued to fall as she covered Alex's hand with her own.
"Isn't it?" Olivia said. "It's always with me. Sometimes, when I get pretty worked up over a case, I get so angry I could beat the shit out of the guy. That scares me. What if I am like him?" Olivia paused, turning away again, unable to look into those bright blue eyes. "I think about it a lot. Especially when I catch a perp." She traced the rim of the wine glass. "The guy was never caught. I look at some of the older ones, wondering if this is the guy. I used to try to find out, even did a little investigation of my own. Hit a dead end."
"Olivia, you're not like him. Can you honestly believe that you're capable of that kind of senseless violence? Have you got a clue as to the kind of person you are?" Alex kept her arm around Olivia, squeezing gently to help make her point. "Let me tell you something about Olivia Benson. She's dedicated and compassionate. She cares about people, especially those who've been victimized. She has integrity. She sees the worst that humanity dishes out and manages to stay sane. Yeah, she gets angry at the violence and careless disregard for human life she sees every day, but she believes she makes a difference. That's why she can go to work everyday. You are nothing like him." Alex emphasized her last words.
Olivia was at a loss. The intensity of feeling and affection in Alex's words touched her deeply. Alex pulled her into a full hug, kissing the top of her head. Olivia turned into Alex and held her close. A million thoughts ran into her mind. The most important was how good it felt when Alex held her.
Alex removed her arm, brushing a stray hair away from Olivia's face. "You get it yet?"
"I think I'm beginning to," Olivia replied, reaching for Alex's hand, running her thumb over the palm. Olivia let go and went to check the fire.
"Hey, you ok?" Alex said, sensing Olivia's unease.
"Yeah…" Just not ready to go there yet.
"Okaaay. Listen, it's still early. You want to go check out the shops?" Alex didn't want to keep up the heavy conversation, which obviously made Olivia uncomfortable.
"That sounds good. I'll get my coat."
They checked out the local stores and Alex managed to find a few things. Olivia found a couple of gifts for Elliot's kids. By nine o'clock, both women were tired. After getting their packages put away, Olivia rekindled the fire and Alex changed into some fleece pants and a long sleeved tee.
"You want something to drink?" she asked Olivia.
"Tea would be good," she called from the other room.
When Olivia returned, she had changed into some NYPD sweats. Settling in front of the fire, Olivia stretched out her tired body. Alex grabbed the blanket and settled in on the couch.
A few minutes later, both women settled in with their tea. Olivia's mind returned to her mother and a heaviness settled over her heart. The tears flowed briefly before she shook it off and looked at Alex, who had fallen asleep on the couch. She took off Alex's glasses, placing them on the table, and made sure she was covered.
After taking care of the dishes, Olivia sat at Alex's feet, watching the fire. Despite what had happened this week, she felt oddly content. She tried to put her finger on what was happening with Alex. She was definitely attracted to her, as her body reminded her almost every time they touched. Olivia wondered if she would put herself out there to trust again, wincing as she remembered her botched experiences with Cassidy and that dip shit reporter. She and Alex were friends first. They had been able to keep the personal and professional separated. Could they still be friends if a romance went sour? Alex had been nothing but kind and loving. She hadn't pursued anything beyond friendship. Olivia found herself wishing that she would, but knowing that Alex would keep her word. The next move would be up to her. Question was, would she make it?
The next morning, Alex awoke on the couch. She saw that the fire was still going. She found her glasses and struggled to wake up. Olivia came into living room.
"Good morning."
"Who says?" Alex replied. "What the heck time is it?"
Olivia chuckled. "Almost seven thirty.
"Uh huh. Is there coffee?"
"Not yet, but I'll make some so you won't have to be crabby anymore."
When Alex smelled the coffee, she got up, put on some sweats and went to join Olivia. "Thanks for making coffee. Alex will be with you in a minute."
"I'll be sure to keep an eye out for her. What it is with you and mornings?"
"They come when I'm not awake," Alex said matter-of-factly, as if there were any other explanation.
"Uh huh, it all makes sense now." She handed Alex a cup and after a few minutes, Alex was ready to join the human race.
"You want to have some breakfast? I think I saw a little hole in the wall place down the road."
"Yeah, but do we have to go now? I'd like to wake up first, maybe shower."
"Okay, you have half an hour."
Alex almost spit out her coffee. "Half an hour?! You don't honestly think I can get ready by then…"
"Yeah, I do. Look we're in the middle of cow country. There's no one to impress. Just go."
"Anyone ever tell you you're a pushy broad."
"Practically every day. Move."
Surprisingly, Alex was ready in just under a half-hour. They went to a place called "Betty's Kitchen" and had a good down-home breakfast. Needing to walk off some of their meal, they parked down town. About midday, they decided they'd had enough and returned to the cabin. Olivia started the fire, deciding that was her job for the weekend.
Settling in on their usual spots on the couch, Olivia said, "Alex?"
"Hmm?"
"Thanks again for this weekend. The peace and quiet is nice. I almost feel human again."
"You're welcome. Now will you stop already? I wanted to come out here too. It's more fun with you so bonus for me."
"Ok, ok. Hey, what's for dinner?"
"Dinner? I haven't digested breakfast yet. Check back with me a week from next Tuesday."
"Very funny. I'm cooking tonight so let me know when you're ready to eat again."
"You're serious?" Alex tilted her head and looked at Olivia. "How about eight o'clock? That should be late enough."
"Sounds good to me. So what do we do today? Are you all shopped out? Any more Christmas presents to buy?"
"I'm all set. What about you?"
"I haven't got anything else to get, except something for you."
"You know that's not necessary."
"Uh huh, because you're not getting anything for me, right?"
"Good point."
Since they were talking about Christmas, Alex thought it a good time to broach the subject of Olivia's plans. "Hey, Liv, what are your plans for the holiday?"
Christmas. She really wanted to skip the whole damn thing. "I hadn't thought about it. I usually spend some time with Elliot and his family on Christmas day if I'm not working. Other than that, I'd hang out with my Mom. What are you doing?"
"Actually, I was planning on spending this year in New York. You want to get together? We can do Christmas Eve or Christmas night at my place, or both."
"You don't have to do that Alex, I can go into work. I'll be fine."
Alex was getting irritated. "Why do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Brush me off when I ask you to spend time with me. I want to. That's why I ask. Not because I have to." Alex had the sudden urge to beat Olivia over the head until she got it.
"Sorry. Geez, I didn't mean to piss you off. I just don't want you to feel obligated.…"
"Obligated?!" she practically shouted. "Do you honestly think I would spend all this time with you out of obligation? In case you hadn't noticed, I don't have a lot of free time. The time that I do have is precious. I spend it with you because it makes me happy. I love you, you idiot." Her mouth was apparently not interested in stopping.
Olivia was stunned into silence. Slowly a grin crept over her face. Alex loved her? "Idiot? Is that a new term of endearment that I'm not familiar with?"
Alex smiled, feeling the aggravation drain from her body. "Yeah, it's right up there with pinhead and doofus. Look, maybe it wasn't a good choice of words, but sometimes I just want to smack you upside the head, you're so dense."
"Not the first time I've been told that. I'm sorry, ok. I'll try not to be such a jerk."
"Good. So you'll spend the holiday with me?"
"Like I'd say anything but yes at this point. And Alex?"
"What?"
"I love you too." Olivia didn't mind saying that at all. In fact, it felt kind of good.
After arriving back in the city, Olivia spent the next week and a half taking care of her mother's things. She had some stock in an obscure company, but not much else. She hired a company to clear it all away. There wasn't anything that she wanted anyway.
Olivia went home to her empty apartment and lay down on the couch to take a short nap. Cragen had given her the afternoon off and it was only a little before two. She had just fallen asleep, or so it seemed when she heard her cell phone ringing.
"Benson." Olivia rubbed the sleep from her eyes, trying to see what time it was. She heard laughing on the other end of the line.
"Benson," Alex mimicked. "Do you ever answer the phone any other way? Like maybe saying 'Hello'?"
Smiling into the phone, Olivia replied, "It eliminates the need for small talk. You know who you've got the second I answer the phone. What are you doing? It's only 3:15. Aren't you supposed to be in court?"
"I was. We finished sooner than I thought. I thought I'd see if you would join me in celebrating."
"Celebrating? Isn't it a bit premature?"
"Possibly, but I'm celebrating that this damn case is over. I'm tired and just want to have a relaxing dinner with some good company."
"And you called me?"
"Don't start. You up for it or not?"
"Actually yeah, I'm already home so what time do you want to get together?"
"Is now too soon? I don't feel like cooking. How about some take-out and a movie at my place?"
"Sounds good. I'll pick it up and meet you at your place in about an hour. How's that?"
"Perfect. I'll see you then."
After the remnants of dinner were cleared away, they settled in to watch the movie. Alex was so tired she could barely keep her eyes open. Seeing that she was about as interested as a rock, Olivia shut it off. Turning to Alex she said, "Hey, why don't you go to bed?"
"Because then you'd leave and I like having you here."
"But you're obviously tired."
"Yeah, so keep me occupied. Tell me what you've been doing the past couple of weeks."
"Go to work, come home. Go to work. The usual."
"Funny. What's been happening with you?"
"I took care of my mother's stuff this week. Her apartment is cleared out so the owner can rent it."
"Did you do it all yourself?"
"No, I hired a company to clear it out, but I went through the place first. There really wasn't much."
"Why didn't you call me? I would have been glad to help."
"It wasn't any big deal. I was in and out in under an hour. Now it's done and I don't have it hanging over my head anymore."
"You okay with it?"
"Yeah, really, it was no big deal."
"You kill me. Do you always go through life with the motto, 'I stand alone?'" Alex wondered what it would take for Olivia lean on someone other than herself.
"I've been doing it pretty much my whole life. It's not so bad. At least I know what I'm getting into." Where is Alex going with this?
You, my friend, are a tough nut to crack. "We're friends right?"
"Ah, yeah."
"In my world, friends are there for each other. I wish you'd let me be there for you."
"It's not that easy and anyway, I wouldn't know how."
"I'm not asking you to get it right. I just want you to consider that I'd like to be able to support you when you need it. At least think about it. Go outside the box and think, I could call Alex. Listen, I wouldn't hesitate to call you if I was in a bind. I hope you'll return the favor."
"That 'pushy' word keeps coming up more and more with you."
"And I always get my way, so why bother trying to fight it?"
"Look, if I promise to try, will you let it go?"
"For now."
"Good. Besides working on that case, what have you been doing?"
"I talked to my mother earlier this week. She said that there's a reception at the Governor's mansion. Wanted to know if I was going."
"You're kidding right?"
"No. It's not like I know him personally. He knows my family. Since I'm in town, I'm the designated attendee. I told her I'd let her know since I had made plans with you."
"We can skip Christmas Eve if you want to go."
"No. We can keep our plans, but I was hoping you'd agree to go with me. I only have to make an appearance and after about an hour, we're free to go."
"Are you crazy? There's no way that I'd fit in with that crowd."
"Olivia, listen. This is really not a big deal for me. If you're too uncomfortable, then I won't go. But, I think it would be fun for you and I to mix it up with the upper crust for a little while. It'll provide great dinner conversations for months to come."
"You're serious. You really want me to go with you."
"Absolutely. It'll be a boring, pretentious affair. But it'll make everyone happy that I attended and we still get to spend the night together. If it gets really boring, we can tell them that you're my new girlfriend and I was just showing you off."
"Uh huh, and send your career right into the toilet."
"Never happen. So, you'll go?"
"Why do I let you talk me into these things? Ok, yeah, I'll go. Wait, what the hell am I going to wear?"
"Don't dress up on my account." If you wore a sackcloth, you'd still be the sexiest thing there. "Actually, it's formal so just wear a nice dress."
"Right."
Olivia was growing restless with the current state of her relationship with Alex. She spent a great deal of time thinking about her, wanting to run fingers along her soft skin, followed by soft kisses. Alex was a passionate woman and she was sure that she'd never be bored. But could she open herself up to Alex? She didn't know, but desperately wanted to try.
She put on a simple black, sleeveless dress that ended just above the knee. She wore simple earrings and a delicate gold chain. She dabbed a little perfume behind each ear, her neck and between her breasts. Checking herself in the mirror, she was satisfied that her appearance was acceptable.
It was 6:40. Alex was due any minute. At the sound of the buzzer, Olivia let Alex in. The sight took her breath away. Alex was also wearing a short black dress covered with tiny sequins. Her hair was up, sleek in some version of a French twist. The signature glasses were missing and her blue eyes sparkled behind contacts. A simple pearl necklace decorated her throat, which matched the earrings. Olivia was speechless, her mouth hung open as a powerful wave of desire overtook her. It took no small amount of self-restraint not to grab Alex and kiss her senseless.
Alex covered an amused smile with her hand as she also caught her breath at the sight of Olivia. The woman was one hundred percent gorgeous. She wondered how long she could keep this platonic, since all she wanted to do was worship every inch of this beautiful creature with her tongue. Clearing her throat, she said, "Hey. You going to let me in?"
"Sorry, come in. I was, ah, I'm just about ready. I don't need to bring my weapon right. I mean there won't be any fights or anything like that?" Olivia kidded.
"I make no promises. But I think you'd be hard pressed to hide it with that outfit. You are stunning."
Olivia blushed. "You're not so bad yourself." She grabbed her coat and they headed downstairs. Olivia was surprised when a black-suited driver came around the car and let them in the back.
"A limo? You didn't say anything about a limo."
"I wanted to surprise you. Besides, we can't show up at the Governor's Mansion in a Yellow Cab. How gauche." Alex laughed as they settled in for the ride.
"You sure know how to show a girl a good time, Alex. You single?"
"Yeah, but I have my eye on someone."
Olivia's heart dropped. "Really? Anyone I know?"
"Yeah, actually and I think you'd like them."
Shit. Could she have found someone else because she was tired of waiting for me?
"You gonna tell me who it is?" Olivia asked, not really sure if she wanted to know the answer to that.
"What if I don't?" Alex teased.
"They I may have to go into interrogation mode. You know I have ways of getting the information I want. Spill."
The twinkle never left Alex's eyes as she grabbed Olivia's chin and spoke directly to her, making sure she had Olivia's undivided attention.
"You."
Relief flooded Olivia's body. "Me? That's, um, that's, nice." The smile she gave Alex could have lit up a room.
"I think so. I'm not pushing you Olivia. I just wanted you to know that I'm still interested. It'll never be anything more than you want it to be. If you want to just stay friends, then I'll deal with it. There's no pressure."
"And if I want it to be something more than friends?"
"Then peel me off the ceiling, my dreams have come true."
Olivia laughed as the color rose to her face. Taking a deep breath, Olivia said, "Alex, I've been thinking about this for a while, but I wasn't sure you were still interested. Anyway, I'd like to move it along, but I gotta tell you I'm a bit scared. I love having you for a friend and I'd be really upset if this didn't work out and we lost that. Did I ever tell you about a guy named Cassidy?"
"I don't think so."
"He was a detective on our squad a while back. We dated. He was okay, but he couldn't keep the personal out of the professional. He brought it into the squad, which was more than a little awkward. We didn't speak at all after that and he transferred out shortly thereafter. I couldn't handle that again."
"Olivia, you and I have known each other for a while. Have you ever known me to bring my personal life into what we do?"
"No, but this is different. We'll be operating on a whole different level. I'm afraid of what would happen if we screwed it up."
"Then, let's not screw it up. Listen. You already know how I feel about you. We both know that we have to be discreet. I'll do my best to keep my personal feelings for you out of our work. I've managed so far, should be a piece of cake from here."
"I'll obviously do the same. But even so, but we gotta go slow. I'm new at this."
"Being with a woman?"
"No, well, yeah, but that's not what I meant. I mean that I care a great deal about you and I'm not exactly the easiest person to get along with. I'm afraid that I'll mess it up."
"You're kidding? I hadn't noticed."
"Funny, counselor."
"Look, why don't you set the pace? I'm not going to jump you." At least not yet "I want you to be comfortable."
"Ok, good. Then can we change the subject? I don't think my cheeks can take the heat much longer."
Alex grabbed Olivia's hand and squeezed. "You got it."
The Governor's reception was exactly as Alex had described: snobbish people so hung up on themselves that they had no tolerance for anything else. Alex glided smoothly throughout the room, introducing Olivia to some pretty powerful players. She was witty and charming and seemed to say all the right things. Olivia was impressed with this side of Alex and wondered what else about the woman she didn't know.
As promised, Alex made her excuses an hour later and they left the party, opting to return to Alex's place. She had a small artificial tree and some garland around her apartment. It was, Olivia thought, festive without being obnoxious.
After getting comfortable, they opened some wine and exchanged gifts. Alex got Olivia a cashmere scarf and black leather gloves. Olivia gave Alex a delicate necklace with an elegant opal pendant, which she insisted that Olivia put on her immediately. She hugged Olivia briefly and kissed her cheek. They settled in for the evening to watch some Christmas movies.
After finishing "It's a Wonderful Life", Olivia realized that it was late. She needed to get going. "Hey, Alex, wake up."
"I'm awake, I was just resting my eyes."
"Right, that's what they all say. It's late, I gotta get going."
"Why don't you stay? The couch is big enough or you can share my bed, it's certainly big enough." Alex saw the look on Olivia's face. "To sleep you dope."
"I don't have any clothes for tomorrow."
"What time do you have to be at Elliot's?"
"He told me to be there around eleven."
"Good. Then you'll have plenty of time to get home before you have to be there. C'mon, do you really want to spend the night by yourself?"
"Not really. You sure it's no problem?"
Alex smacked Olivia lightly in the arm. "It's no problem."
"Ok, ok, I'll stay. You gotta work on being more assertive," Olivia teased.
"That's what I keep telling everybody, but they just look at me funny. Couch or bed? I have to warn you though, the couch is not very comfortable."
"Uh huh, so I'd be pretty stupid to pick the couch?"
"Call it what you will, I'm just giving you fair warning. Wouldn't want you showing up at Elliot's with a sore back."
"Looks like my choice is made. You're not a cover hog are you?"
Depends on who I'm sleeping next to. "Not last time I checked, but I haven't slept with anyone in quite a while. I can give you references if you like. I think they're still in the area."
"Ah, no thanks. I'll take my chances. I'm going to wash up."
Alex made sure the mess was cleared and got ready for bed. She got into a pair of shorts and a tank top, asking Olivia what she wanted to sleep in.
"Shorts and a t-shirt or something is fine. Thanks."
After Alex's turn in the bathroom, they settled in to sleep. Each lost in thoughts of the other.
To Be Continued