DISCLAIMER: CSI and its characters are the property of Jerry Bruckheimer and CBS. No infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Consequences of Clubbing
By Myck's Nyx
Part 2
Realizing how I must look with someone else's hand grabbing my crotch, I disentangled myself from the poor girl I had been dancing with and now completely discarded; and after she had just given me one of the best orgasms of my life, too. Or had it been Catherine that had done that? I didn't exactly have time to, or really want to, think about that just then.
I strode over to help Catherine up; her dance partner seemed to have disappeared. I took both of her hands and, stepping on her toes a little to anchor her, I pulled her to her feet in one swift movement. "Catherine," I asked, momentarily concerned enough to throw all of my other questions out the window, "are you alright?"
Catherine looked around, disoriented and wiped at her skirt, "Yeah, I'm fine." She looked at me, her head cocked to one side, "Sara, what are you doing here?"
The music began to play and the floor began to fill up again so I pulled her off to the side. "What am I doing here? What are you doing here?" I had to yell really loudly because we were standing right next to the speakers.
She shook her head to show she couldn't hear and, taking my hand pulled me down a hallway and out a backdoor. It was a little chilly, and it had to be at least one o'clock in the morning. At least it was a lot quieter out here.
"What did you say?"
"I said, 'What am I doing here? What are you doing here?'"
Catherine raised her eyebrows, "I asked first." She crossed her arms in front of her as much to stay warm as to show she was determined.
"Stubborn." I muttered. I thought of the easiest way out, hoping it would be enough, "Grissom told me to take a couple of nights off, relax or something…so." I shrugged noncommittally.
Catherine bit her lip and widened her eyes at me; apparently that explanation was not going to cut it, "Okay, so that explains why you aren't at work, not why you are out at one o'clock in the morning at one of the hottest lesbian nightclubs in Las Vegas!"
I rolled my eyes, "Well, nobody ever even gets here before 10:00." I was obfuscating and we both knew it.
"Sara…"
I held up my hands, surrendering, "Fine, fine. Okay. I am at the number one lesbian nightclub in the city on a Saturday night because, well…" I needed help finding the right words.
"Because, because…because why, Sara?"
I felt my heart start to race, "Because I'm gay, Catherine!" Okay, those weren't exactly the words I was looking for, but it was too late to stop, "Because I'm a lesbian, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? I am lesbian; a big one. I was depressed and a friend said let's go get shit faced and get you laid, and I said, 'sounds good to me!' Jesus, Catherine, give a girl a minute to get her thoughts together before she outs herself to a coworker!"
I brought a hand up to my forehead- my brain was screaming at me in ten different languages right now.
I felt a hand on my arm and I looked up.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stress you out. I was just nervous. It's a bit of a compromising situation, if you know what I mean." She looked genuinely concerned. It was still a shock to see her in that outfit.
"Yeah, I do. It's okay. So, what are you doing here?" I leaned my back up against the outside of the building and Catherine did the same.
"Me?"
"No," I rolled my eyes, "my other female colleague I just saw kicking ass on a dance floor in the middle of, as you said 'the hottest lesbian nightclub in Las Vegas,' at one o'clock in the morning!"
"Oh, umm, nothing much. My friend invited me. Said I would get a kick out of it." She shrugged.
I felt my face flush with anger, "Bullshit, Catherine!"
"What?"
"How can you lie to me after what I just told you?!"
"I'm not lying!" Her voice started to rise as well.
"Catherine!" I yelled in a voice that clearly said, 'reality check!' "Even if the bartender hadn't have told me already that you come here at least once a month, the way you dance tells me this is not your first night dancing with women; hell, it's not even your one hundredth night dancing with women! Tell me I'm wrong!"
Catherine turned a bright scarlet and smiled at the ground. "No, you're not wrong. I'm sorry I tried to lie to you…umm" Her blue eyes looked up at me from beneath cascading wisps of strawberry hair, she bit her lip, "You asked Flo about me?"
Now it was my turn to blush at the concrete, "Well, I didn't exactly know it was you at the time…I saw this strawberry blonde get in ahead of me and then I saw her again at the bar, and then again on the dance floor a few minutes ago-"
Catherine scratched her neck insecurely, "Why didn't you ask her to dance when you were at the bar?"
I smiled, "I was going to, right after I talked to Flo. But when I finished my drink and finally got up the courage, you had disappeared with somebody else. Then I got swept away, dancing with a few girls. When I saw you on the dance floor, I was…" I looked away.
"Shocked? Surprised? Scared out of your mind?"
"After I saw it was you, yeah, all of those. But before? I was…"
"What?"
I looked at her the realization evident on my face, "Mesmerized."
She stared at me for a moment and then she turned pink and paid an amazing amount of attention to her fingernails, "Oh." Her voice was quiet.
We were both quiet for a moment.
"So," I broke the silence, "you were in there for the same reasons I…"
"Basically. I mean. I'm not gay. Well, I'm not completely gay, obviously; I was married. I'm bi, sort of. It's complicated." She faltered. "It's my night off," she breathed, "and like Flo said, I come here every once in a while, sometimes with my friend Becky- you might've recognized her, sort of butch, she's a police officer up in Henderson?"
I nodded, now that I thought about it, she did look familiar- I just didn't recognize her in anything outside of her uniform. Sort of like I couldn't recognize Catherine's ass in a black micro-mini. Suddenly the thought of Becky's hand on Catherine's ass made me feel very uncomfortable. I shivered and pushed the thought out of my mind.
"Are you cold?" Catherine saw me shiver, "Do you want to go back inside?"
I shook my head; the mood was pretty much killed with this new discovery, I didn't really feel like bringing a stranger back to my place after this, "No, I think I'll just head home."
Catherine nodded. "Yeah, me to."
"I just need to find the friend I came in here with. Come in and wait for me? I'll walk you out." I held out my hand.
"Yeah, okay."
Almost shyly, wait a minute, Catherine Willows? Shy? She intertwined her fingers with mine. It felt good, natural, like we'd been holding hands forever. It was not lost on me that she didn't let go all the way through the club and up the stairs and down the hall to the bathrooms. I went straight there because Sage had a bit of a habit of ending up in there at some point during the night. I released Catherine's hand when we got inside the bathrooms.
"Sage?" I called out. It was easier than checking all twelve stalls.
I heard the unmistakable sound of a body being slammed against a stall door, "Sara?"
"Sage, where are you?"
"Handicapped! All the way at the end on the left. Can you see my flag?"
I saw a hand pop up waving what was not a flag but what was very obviously a pair of black panties.
Catherine snorted.
"Yeah, I see, Sage." I headed over and knocked on the door, "Can I talk to you for a sec?"
"Uh-huh. Hang on." There was a squeak and click and the door opened enough for Sage to stick her head out. "Watcha want? I'm kind of in the middle of someone." Sage giggled loudly.
"Right, I was actually going to take off, do you need a ride?"
Sage's eyes got really big and she made a fish face before ducking back into the stall, "Baby, you wanna ride me home?" Obviously she was very drunk.
"Umm…yes, please?" Two loud giggles came from behind the door.
Sage popped her head back out and said, "I've got a ride, thanks!" She was grinning like a maniac.
She accidentally put too much weight on the stall door and it swung open another few feet to reveal…
"Sara, this is Nina."
A much more scantily clothed Nina than the one I had been dancing with earlier. In the harsh fluorescent lighting she wasn't nearly as pretty as I had thought. "Um, hi again."
Nina scowled at me and rightfully so. "Hey."
Sage looked from me to Nina and burst out laughing, "Oh, my God, Sara! Were you the one that let Nina get you off in the middle of the dance floor and then just ditched her? Wow, you are such a bitch!"
I looked nervously back at Catherine who was smirking attractively in the doorway, "Yeah, well, something kind of came up." I turned back to Sage and Nina, "Besides, she seems to have gotten over it pretty fast, that wasn't even an hour ago."
Nina grinned stupidly at me, but my gaze had diverted Sage's attention and she peaked around me to glance at Catherine, "Oh my God, Sara! Is that the sexy dancer woman from the bar earlier?"
"Uhh." I smiled at Catherine apologetically, "Yeah, it is."
"Wow, nice going." Sage was being entirely too loud and I knew she was about to say something really embarrassing. "I mean I know I told you I thought you were hot enough to get her, but you know I was just being a pal. She's way too hot for you!" Something like that. "But seriously, nice going- I expect details in the morning!"
"It's a bit more complicated than that, Sage."
"Uh-huh, whatever."
"Look, if you've got a ride, why don't I just leave you two alone? I'll talk to you later."
As I grabbed Catherine's arm to usher her out quickly I heard Nina yell out, "That's the chick she was drooling over while I had my hands down her pants."
I blanched. I was so mortified. I looked at Catherine. She stared at me. I knew I had to do something, but all I could think to do was yell back, "Your hands were not down my pants!" I cradled my head in my hands, "Jesus Christ!" I walked right past Catherine, determined to get as much space between us as humanly possible.
About ten million thoughts were running through my head. Every thought from, 'Oh my God, I can never look her in the eye again!' to 'I am going to have move to another state and change professions!' I was in such a rush to get out of there that I never saw her running after me or heard her calling my name until I was all the way out the main entrance, begging Alison to get my Tahoe as fast as she could. I was out of breath from running so fast in heels; I crouched and put my head between my knees. After about thirty seconds I felt a cool hand on my shoulder.
"Jesus, Sara, you can really run. Can't you take pity on a girl in strappy sandals?" Catherine was just as out of breath as I was.
I stood up, but I didn't respond.
When it was clear I didn't intend to say anything Catherine came back with, "Sara, look, it's really not such a big deal."
"Save it, Catherine." I pushed her hand off my shoulder. "That was possibly the most humiliating experience of my entire life."
"It doesn't have to be."
"Uh, yeah. It kind of does." I tried to look into the darkness to find my black SUV.
Instead of backing off like she was supposed to, like everyone else would at this point in the conversation, she took both of my hands in hers and made me look into her eyes, her flawlessly clear blue eyes, "Would it make you feel better if I told you I had ideas of doing the same thing when I saw you dancing earlier tonight?" She smiled mischievously at me.
I couldn't help but smile at the sky. "Yeah, that would help. If it had any chance in hell of being true, that would help a lot."
"What?" Catherine looked at me as if I were crazy. "It's totally true."
I just looked at her.
"I'm serious, Sara. Becky and I were sitting at a table on the upper level and watching the dancers. We were playing this game we play and she picked this little pixie of a girl with spiky bleached hair, and…and I picked you."
"What do you mean, you picked me?"
Catherine blushed for the umpteenth time that night. "We play this game where every time we come we pick someone off the dance floor that we'd like to take up to one of the private VIP rooms and…"
"And?" I could sort of tell where this was going, but I liked making her blush, she was so cute with bright pink cheeks.
"And ravish, okay? Have our dirty way with."
"And you picked me?" My voice was a squeak.
"I mean, I didn't know it was you, I was thirty feet above you, but yeah I picked you."
"Oh." I dropped my hands to my sides.
I didn't know exactly what to say to that. For some reason I suddenly had the urge to ask if she still would have picked me if she had known it was me, Sara Sidle. But of course I didn't; I already knew what the answer to that would be.
And if you had asked me an hour ago I could have honestly said that I didn't give a flying fuck if Catherine Willows, CSI thought I was sexy or attractive or even nice, but right now? Did it hurt me to know that in my heart of hearts this beautiful, intelligent, funny Catherine Willows, woman extraordinaire would never ever be attracted to me? Yeah kind of a little bit, kind of a lot actually. I couldn't figure out what had just happened.
"So," Catherine said hesitantly, playing absentmindedly with the pinky and ring fingers on my left hand, "are we okay?"
I could see Alison finally arriving with my car. "Uhh…"
"'Cause, I'm okay if you're okay- I really don't want you feeling weird about the dancing thing on top of everything else. I think we've both had a surprising enough night without that added tension."
I made the decision to be okay with it right then, I pulled Catherine's right hand into my left. One part of my brain was yelling, "Oh my God, you are touching the sexiest woman in the world!" while another part was wondering when exactly Catherine Willows had become that woman for me. "Yeah, Catherine, I'm okay. It has been a weird night, but I think that we're fine."
I covered her hand with both of mine and squeezed for a minute while I smiled at her like an idiot. Granted, she was smiling back, but I'm sure she was just being polite. As soon as I realized what I was doing though, I dropped her hand. At that moment, Alison hopped out of the car to bring me my keys. I distractedly handed her a twenty, not really caring that I usually only gave her a five. I was too busy staring at Catherine in amazement to notice.
"Well, I guess I'll see you at work. Apparently I won't be at work tomorrow night, but I'm sure I'll be back on Monday shift." Not really sure if I was supposed to hug her or…shaking her hand definitely didn't seem right, I decided on a small wave before heading around to the other side of the Tahoe.
"Actually, Sara?"
I popped my head around the side, "Yeah?"
"Becky was my ride and she left ages ago with the spiky blonde-haired girl, so could you maybe give me a lift home?"
Half dreading a car ride in close proximity with Catherine, and half ecstatic that I didn't have to give her up just yet, I smiled and said, "Hop in!"
The ride was quiet except for Catherine's directions. I concentrated on driving, hoping I wasn't too drunk to be behind the wheel. Catherine just stared out the window, her elbow on the sill, her fingers brushing back and forth over her lips.
When I pulled up in front of a white single level house, there was an odd silence.
"Thanks for the ride."
"No problem."
"Uh…I don't want this to come out the wrong way, but you won't tell anyone at work about this, right? I mean, you know how much I love the boys. This just isn't something I'm ready to tell them."
I held up my fingers in a scout's honor type gesture, "I won't tell if you won't."
"Of course not."
"Then your secret's safe with me."
"Great, thanks." There was a pause before she said, "Well, it was an interesting night."
"Yeah."
"But I had fun."
"Me too." I smiled at her.
"Good." She went to undo her seatbelt, but it jammed.
I reached out to help her and suddenly found myself much closer to Catherine Willows than I had intended to be. I froze. "Uhh…" Jesus were her eyes blue.
Without warning she leaned in and kissed me warmly on the cheek. I was a statue.
"Goodnight, Sara." Her voice was low.
"'Night." I squeaked.
She opened the door and got out. "I'll see you on Monday, then?"
"Mhm."
"Good."
She slammed the door and started walking up the path.
I just sat there, staring straight ahead.
At some point, she must have turned around and come back because a second later she was knocking on the window again. I rolled it down,
"Forget something?"
"Uhh…" she nervously chewed a piece of hair between her lips. "That kiss?"
"Kiss?" I was totally out of it.
"The one I just gave you."
"On the cheek?"
"Yeah, it didn't mean anything."
"Course not."
"Just a combination of weird night and lots of alcohol."
"Exactly what I was thinking." Was not! Was not, was not, was not!
"Good."
"Good."
"Goodnight, then."
"Goodnight, Catherine."
She waved from the doorstep and then went inside. That was my cue to put my car into gear, put on the gas, and head for home.