DISCLAIMER: Los Hombres De Paco and its characters are the property of Antena 3. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: One shot. This is kind of my thought process as to how things SHOULD have turned out. Unbetaed – sorry.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: Through episode 81.
Conversations
By igivenoclues
I decided I needed to get home first. I came to this conclusion for a number of reasons; however, the most important one was that I knew I would be locked out if Silvia beat me back. Once I reached the apartment I didn't know what to do. I can't just sit still and wait patiently, so I paced. I knew that there were things that I was supposed to be doing around the apartment, but I couldn't find the color coded list that Silvia normally leaves me. I guess she was really too excited this morning. I wish it had been because of the night we had, and not the words I had unfortunately uttered.
When the door opened I repressed the urge to rush over to Silvia as she entered our living room. Her eyes met mine, and my mouth went dry. Her eyes were red from crying, and she looked so empty. I desperately tried to form the words I had rehearsed all the way back to our home, but found myself speechless. "Silvia," I started, and she seemed to flinch. I wanted to walk over, take her in my arms, and wash away the pain. I knew that wouldn't be received well, as I was the cause of said pain. This broke my heart, but I decided to forge on.
"Silvia, you weren't meant to hear what I said."
She let out a harsh laugh, but didn't say anything. Her eyes flicked to the door, and I was afraid she might run. I had to get this out.
"It's true. You weren't supposed to hear what I was saying to Paco." I let out a sigh, and ran my fingers through my hair. "I was freaked out. I was panicking. It doesn't mean everything I said was true, and it doesn't mean everything I said was not."
She looked back at me, and her eyes narrowed, as if trying to figure out which it would be. She walked to our table and put down her keys and her purse. She turned to face me again, "Vale."
I took it as a sign that I should continue, but I knew it was going to be hard to tell her what I needed to. I sat down on the couch and managed to find my voice again, "I know it was harsh, and I promise you that I didn't mean for everyone to hear it. I meant it at the time, though. I felt rushed, and I thought you were crazy for just making the plans without me. I still think that was unfair, Silvia. I love you so much, and I would do anything for you, but we need to talk about these things first." I looked at her, and said, "And not when I'm drunk and trying to get you into bed." I thought I saw a hint of a smile grace her lips, but if I did it was fleeting. I pressed on, "Paco made me realize that I just needed to think about it. I needed time, princesa." I stood and crossed the distance between us. This time she didn't move away.
I reached a hand to her chin and tilted her face up to mine. "I love you, pelirroja." As her eyes shone with unshed tears I continued, "I have thought about it. I thought about you holding our son – or daughter – and rocking the baby to sleep. I think about chasing a little toddler around our house—and we would need a house, Silvia, because this place is not big enough for a family," I smiled. "I would love that child no matter what. I would make sure they had a better childhood than I did. I know we would take care of them, and cherish them." The tears that had been waiting to fall finally did, and I brushed them away gently. "Don't cry, pelirroja. I am telling you good things."
The words had barely left my mouth when I was silenced with a kiss so forceful I almost fell over. Silvia's arms wrapped around my neck, and my arms wound their way around her waist. I needed to stop her, though. I didn't want this to be misunderstood. I broke the kiss with great frustration.
"Silvia," I breathed. "Wait. Please, listen to me first." My hands moved to her hips, and I held her at arms length. "These are things we need to discuss, you see? Like I mentioned, our apartment, but also we have to think about our work situation. We work a lot, princesa. And I love my job. I don't want to give it up, and I don't think you want to give up yours, either. And Silvia, I want to marry you."
Silvia gasped, and I rushed to finish what I was saying. "This is not the way I want to propose to you, princesa, but I want you to know that I want to marry you. I honestly had not thought about children, so I can't say that I wanted to marry you before we started a family, but Silvia…please give me some time. I know that you say we rushed through dating and moved in together – but you have to realize that I have loved you since I was 18. Probably longer, even if I wasn't aware of it. Since you kissed me in front of two hundred people, Silvia!" I laughed at the memory, "What I'm saying is, I had loved you for so long that it was inevitable that I wouldn't waste time. I needed to be with you. I still do. So, please, my love, please give me time. I promise I'll get there, but let's be ready for it. Both of us."
As I finished what I needed to get out, a beatific smile spread across my redhead's face. It faltered; however, and she looked down. "I'm sorry, Pepa. I just…I don't know how I let myself get so out of hand. I do want a child, but I am not okay with you doing it out of pity." Her head came up then, and she looked at me with such intensity I have never seen before. "As much as I appreciate the things you've just explained…It was not okay. The things you said today were not just hurtful, they were embarrassing. Those are our colleagues, not to mention my subordinates. It was unprofessional. We were in the middle of an operation!" Her ire appeared to have returned.
I breathed deep and then let it out with a whoosh. So close. "Sí, Silvia."
With that, she closed the distance between us and ran her fingers through my hair. "I'm sorry, Pepa. You are right. We need to talk things out. I got too excited." She smiled again, gently. "Did you mean it? You really think about those things?"
I couldn't help but grin at the simple question that held so much meaning to her. I held her close to me and whispered, "That and more." I let my breath wash over her ear, and felt her shudder in response. I leaned back to look in her eyes, and was left breathless at the sight. I kissed her forehead, then each of her eyelids, and then held my lips just above hers. It had the desired effect. Silvia leaned forward and captured them with a contented sigh.
"I can't lose you, Pepa."
My heart broke at the words, spoken so quietly and weakly. "I'm not going anywhere, Silvia. I want to spend my life with you. Don't give up on me."
Our lips met again and again, and just before she opened her mouth to me, she whispered, "Never."
It's amazing what one word can do. With a growl I lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around me as I moved her through our apartment to our bedroom. She giggled as I fell forward over her on our bed. I braced myself on my elbows as I looked into her smiling brown eyes. I kissed my way down her neck, slowly unbuttoning her shirt.
"Pepa?"
I kept moving my lips down, now over her collarbone, but managed a "Hmm?"
She gasped as my hands slipped in the now open shirt, brushing lightly over her bra. "I know we— uh…" She moaned quietly as my lips found her now freed breast. "Oh, Pepa. I was just hoping we could wait to talk until later?"
I took a tight nipple into my mouth, biting it softly and flicking my tongue over the tip. "I think that could be arranged," I chuckled. She let out a groan of frustration at the lack of contact.
I'm not one to disappoint.
It was hours later, and she was curled up in my arms. Her soft skin was flush against me, and her fingers were trailing designs on my forearm.
Silvia broke the quiet with a soft question, "Pepa?"
I nuzzled the back of her neck, breathing in her thick red hair. "Yes?"
"What if we started with a pet?" She rolled over and looked at me closely.
I smiled, "Well, I did always want a dog."
Silvia smiled tentatively. "About that." She gave me a kiss and gave me a bright grin.
"THE GOAT? Joder!"
The End