DISCLAIMER: Conviction and its characters are the property of Dick Wolf and NBC.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
It seems silly in retrospect. It was only one case. Granted a very emotional case but still it was only one case. A mother who convinced her twelve year old daughter that she was dying and that that was okay. A mother who ultimately was responsible for her daughter's suicide. I honestly don't know why I fought so hard to hold the mother legally responsible for her daughter's death but I think it had something to do with the girl's age. She was only twelve years old for crying out loud.
Steele told me to let it go, only two minor felonies that weren't even worth prosecuting. I was almost ready to give it up when Bureau Chief Alex Cabot popped into my office and asked me to pull the file. I was surprised to say the least.
I've been working as an Assistant District Attorney for two years now and I thought I had developed an immunity to lawyers. I mean, have you seen who I work with? Rossi, Peluso, even Desmond and Steele. All very good looking and all well worth a second glance and maybe even worth a few heart flutters especially Rossi.
Now, I've known for a while that I am attracted to both men and women. I've accepted it and come to terms with it but I also know the wisdom in hiding that particular fact in the office. Does the name Serena Southerlyn ring a bell? But all things considered I thought I was doing ok. Resisting quite easily the player Peluso, the arrogant hot shot Desmond and the cynical Rossi. Steele was automatically off limits because he was my boss. This is like a family here. Steele is like the father and the others are siblings. But all that changed when DA Arthur Branch appointed the new Bureau Chief, Alexandra Cabot.
Now, of course we all heard the stories about Ms Cabot. How she stood up to a Colombian Cartel and just barely lived to tell about it. How everyone thought she had died but then it was revealed she was in Witness protection. She became a legend in the DA offices and now we were going to be working for her! I was and still am in awe of her. Of all she survived. Hell, for the first few days I couldn't even speak to her I was so nervous around her.
I thought that's all it was, nerves. Then, I caught a glimpse of her in the hall talking to what looked like a detective. I'd never seen this detective but she looked very friendly with Ms Cabot. They were standing a little too close together and the dark haired detective was touching Ms Cabot too often to just be friends. It was when I was watching them that it hit me I was jealous! Seriously, insanely jealous! That was when I had to admit what I was trying very hard not to...I had a crush on my boss.
After that, I tried really hard not to make waves or draw attention to myself. After all, if she didn't know who I was she would never know I had a thing for her right? It worked well for a while until the Copeland case. That's when all my well laid plans crumbled because my crush, my boss Alexandra Cabot decided to get personally involved in the case.
I remember being in the Grand Jury room watching her question Victoria Copeland, the victim's mother. I remember how sad her voice became after she read that diary entry out loud. A part of me wanted to walk over to her and hug her she sounded so low. But I managed to contain myself.
Then, in the conference room after the grand jury. I'll never forget how sexy she looked while bragging to the defense lawyer about how good she was and that they didn't make her Bureau Chief for nothing. That smirk she gave was sexier than any striptease I've ever seen or heard about (by a man or a woman).
It had been all bravado though, as she said afterward that she didn't think we could get a conviction for Manslaughter Two at trial. Walking down the hall with her I actually thought she was hitting on me when she asked me if I dated much. Turns out she was just making a point. A valid point seeing as how that defense lawyer called to make a deal a few hours later. I almost hated to leave her office that time.
I actually managed, after giving the new deal to the defense, to convince myself that my crush was over. That working with her had somehow demystified her and that I was over it now. Until I was leaving to go home and I noticed Alex on the street with that detective again. They were kissing and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I wanted to be the one kissing Alex Cabot and I also wanted to kill that dark haired detective who got to kiss her anytime she wanted to.
Yup, sure sign of any crush is the little green monster that rears its ugly head when you least expect it to. I had to face facts that night. I had a crush on my boss. A crush that could possibly lead to deeper feelings, awkwardness around her and maybe even lead to me having to leave the District Attorney's office. But for right now, it was a manageable crush as long as I had Brian Peluso around to flirt with and distract me from my crush.
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