DISCLAIMER: Guiding Light and its characters are the property of Proctor & Gamble. No infringement intended.
SPOILERS: Assumes the reader is current up to April 17th.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Damn The Torpedoes
Natalia Rivera had gone through many emotions this day.
Joy, her son, Rafe, released from prison and into her arms.
Pride, when Rafe had given Frank Gus's' badge.
A strange mixture of terror and relief when Olivia shouted her love in a graveyard.
Uncertainty, as she walked up the aisle towards her supposedly dreamed of future.
Overwhelmed, when she had realised that she couldn't, wouldn't marry Frank.
That same mix of terror and relief, when she had blurted out her own confession of love.
Horror, as she had realised what both she and Olivia had done to Frank, how they had both unwittingly contrived to make him miserable.
Disbelief, as Olivia had proclaimed "There is no us!"
Right now, though, Natalia was experiencing an entirely new emotion. Natalia Rivera was furious.
Later, after having said a tearful goodbye to Rafe, after having assured him that she was going to be alright, she called Olivia's cell phone, wondering whether Olivia was going to be brave enough to answer or let it go to voice mail.
"Hello?" Olivia, not the voice mail.
"I'm going home, you better be there when I get there or shortly after. Don't even think about not coming. I mean it." Natalia disconnected the call without giving Olivia a chance to answer. Driving home, Natalia fumed. The nerve of the woman, brave, bold Olivia turning Natalia's life upside down and then running away. Just who did she think she was? Well, Natalia wasn't going to let her get away with it. Not now, not ever again. No siree-bob!
Dusk was falling as Natalia arrived at the farmhouse, her car headlights picked out Olivia, standing on the front porch, nervously shifting her weight from foot to foot. Well, she should be nervous. Hurricane Natalia was about to make landfall and Olivia Spencer was directly in her path.
"Where's Emma and why aren't you inside?"
"I dropped Emma at Jane's and I'm not inside because I wasn't sure I was welcome."
"For a remarkably intelligent woman, you can be a complete idiot. Come, inside now, where it's warmer." It was not a request.
Once inside, Natalia rounded on Olivia.
"How dare you! How dare you tell me you love me and then tell me that I can't have you!"
"I only want what's best for you ... " Olivia started.
"But that's not up to you to decide. What's best for me is for me, and me alone, to decide. And I've decided that you're best for me. You've changed my life, you've given me hope, you've given me confidence, and you've given me a future of more than just cleaning up other people's rooms. You've given me a real home and a real family. I won't let you or anybody else take that away from me."
"You can run away from me as fast as you like, but I'm younger and fitter and I will catch you."
"You say that now, but what of your religion, your faith? You and I would be sin."
"First, faith and religion are different things. I have faith in God, religion is a bunch of rules that try to govern that faith and some of those rules are outdated. Everybody except the most narrow minded of bigots know this. The bible barely mentions homosexuality at all, and if it were that important to God, you would think that He would have made it one of the commandments!"
"If I were to live my life by the standards of Leviticus, then I'd already be an unrepentant sinner for enjoying a shrimp salad and for wearing that awful polycotton maid uniform all these years!."
"You rocked that uniform." Olivia offered quietly. Natalia paused for a moment to digest that information.
"Thank you, but don't try to change the topic of conversation."
"This is a conversation? It feels more like a lecture!"
"Well, hang in there, because I'm not finished yet. Have you heard of Saint Augustine of Hippo?"
"Is that a children's book?" at the narrowing of Natalia's eyes, Olivia quickly added "Sorry, no I haven't."
"Saint Augustine was one of the most important and revered theologian and thinker. I'm paraphrasing, but he basically said that we should not read the Bible literally, but that we should allow science and our God-given reason to help us interpret the Bible. Well, science has shown us that homosexuality is not unnatural, and my God-given reason tells me that loving you could never be a sin."
Natalia took a breath and added defiantly
"Loving you is holy and loving you is pure and nobody, not even you, can tell me any different."
"Have you finished?" Olivia asked.
"For the moment."
Olivia stepped towards Natalia and gently took her hand.
"The problem is my love for you is not entirely pure. I want you. Do you understand that? I don't just want you in my and Emma's life, in our home. I want you in all ways. If we start this, I will want more from you than you are prepared to give. I'll want you in my bed. God help me, but I'll want you in my body. Don't tell me that doesn't terrify you."
"It does, a little." Natalia admitted quietly. "But probably not for the reason you think."
"It's a cliché, but I've never wanted anyone like this before. Never wanted, no, needed, anyone this much and it makes me doubt what I've had before and I'm still trying to process the information."
Natalia looked straight into Olivia's eyes, which were now brimming with un-shed tears.
"You are the most maddening, infuriating person I have ever known. You're driven and determined and demanding. You neither accept nor give any quarter. Logic alone suggests that I should run away from you, that I shouldn't even like you very much. But for some reason, I keep finding myself giving you hearts."
Natalia raised their joined hands to Olivia's chest.
"This one, I gave you to keep you alive." Natalia moved their hands to her own chest.
"This one I've given you to keep me alive. I'm trusting you to take care of it." Natalia lifted Olivia's hand to her lips and softly kissed each knuckle as the tears finally slipped down Olivia's face.
"Yes," she whispered "Yes, I can do that." And she pulled Natalia into her arms in a fierce embrace.
A long, wonderful, moment later Natalia pulled away slightly.
"So, here's the plan. Tomorrow, I'm going to break Frank's heart as gently as I can, while you bring our daughter home. We'll make dinner together and talk of inconsequential things. We'll watch a movie, put Emma to bed and then snuggle on the couch. There will be more talking and there will probably be more fears brought up, but we will hug our way through them." If it sounded like an order, then it's because it was.
"Yes ma'am! Anything else?" Olivia asked as she smiled down at Natalia.
Natalia appeared to consider the question.
"There may well be kissing involved, if you're good," she offered, and was rewarded with Olivia's trademarked wolfish grin.
"Oh, I can be good. I can be veeerrrry good!" she purred, delighting at the sudden flushing of Natalia's skin. Needing the space, Natalia took a small step backwards.
"I've imagined that."
"Oh, you have, have you? Do continue." Natalia's flush deepened, but she was determined not to leave Olivia with the upper hand.
"Yes, you were very good. I, on the other hand, was awesome."
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