DISCLAIMER: Not mine, no money, just some fluffy fun.....
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Desert Snow
By ncruuk


"Dr Fraiser, this is General Hammond..." It wasn't every day General Hammond found himself standing in the control room of the SGC talking to his CMO who was currently marooned on another planet...in a snowstorm.

"Fraiser here General...." came the distinct voice of the doctor, obviously standing right by the MALP although you wouldn't know that from the video feed.

"Where Doctor?" asked Hammond finally, unable to identify any shape or shadow on the monitor that could be even loosely interpreted to by the diminutive doctor.

"Here Sir..." Suddenly, out of nowhere, Doctor Fraiser's face appeared upside down on the screen, as if she was sitting on top of the MALP. He'd received all manner of radio contacts from off world during this command, but this was a first....

"Are you alright Doctor?" he eventually asked, hating the inadequacy of the question, but finally comprehending quite what was wrong with this mission - he'd sent Doctor Fraiser to PX4-T6G when it had been a rather pleasant, innocuous sandy desert...and now she was sitting on top of the MALP in a snowstorm?

"Remarkably well Sir, although SG1 might be useful Sir...." came the surprisingly chirpy response, Janet feeling happier communicating with her boss without standing on her head for him to see her.

"Problems Doctor?" Normally, SG1 was only requested when things were 'interesting', and not always in a 'we'd like to know more about your cool technology and amazing herbal remedy' type way.

"Actually, Major Carter would do just fine...." mused Janet, chewing thoughtfully on her lip, doing a spectacularly good impression of said Major.

"Why?" Not that he wasn't sending her - he'd have sent all of SG1 if they were around, but General Hammond had an insatiable curiosity, just like anyone else on the base - he just happened to hide it better most of the time.

"We could use a little help with the DHD this side Sir...." admitted Janet nervously, deciding that maybe now was the moment to call in CMO's privilege, as well perhaps as the 'honorary daughter' card she'd been issued with the day Sam had finally explained to her godfather exactly what her relationship with Janet was.

"Help Doctor?" George couldn't get much further, because he was interrupted by the upside down face of his CMO who, judging by her expression, was rapidly no longer becoming the amenable, good natured officer she so often was. CMOs had fire and backbone to out class a 4 star General...and he was about to meet his CMO head on if he wasn't careful...

"Is Sam on Base Sir?"


"Just send her, please General?"

"This is most irregular Doctor..."


"Does Major Carter need to bring any equipment?" With any other officer, he'd have been worrying about Base security and stray Goa'ulds, but not this time - there was something in Janet's expression that told him the need for Major Carter's presence was immediate and genuine, without any ulterior motives.

"Just herself Sir - we should be able to gate back to the SGC within about five minutes of her arrival..."

"Very well Doctor, but I expect a full report on your return..."

"Yes Sir...."

"Hammond Out...."

"Janet?" Coming out of the Gate, Sam blinked as her eyes adjusted to the snowstorm which was surprisingly light and refreshing, more like a summer shower after a humid afternoon than a winter blizzard, despite the snow flurries suggesting to the contrary.

"Up here Sam...." Turning to her left, Sam spotted her lover and six team members perched on top of the MALP and FRED which had already been loaded with their supplies and equipment, ready for their return.

"Do I want to know why you're up there?" asked Sam amused, although reluctant to let her guard or gun relax, just yet. Whilst they were on an uninhabited planet, protected by the Asgard, and recommended to them by Heimdall, who promised (correctly as it would later turn out) a treasure trove of natural medicinal remedies for many Tauri ailments, as far as Sam was concerned, you could never be too careful.

"Umm, when you came to this planet to check it out for us, how did you dial home?" asked Janet, looking down to Sam.

"Heimdall remotely opened the gate for us, why? Is the DHD broken?" asked Sam, seeing in her mind's eye the pictures of the DHD which Heimdall had recorded for her, showing a fully functioning DHD.

"Not broken...." admitted Janet shyly, nodding at something to the right and slightly ahead of Sam, "...but inaccessible...."

"Inaccessible?" asked Sam, striding over towards the DHD and seeing immediately what the problem was.

"You can't reach it?" she guessed, spotting the DHD sitting atop a smooth pillar some 8 feet from the ground.

"No...Lieutenant Jenkins tried sitting on Corporal Smith's shoulders...." explained Janet, gesturing towards her team members, "...but we couldn't make it..."

"Ah..." Was it wrong for Sam to be thoroughly amused by her lover's predicament.


"Sorry Doctor..." Obviously, it was.

"Would you be so kind as to give me a boost?" asked Janet in a polite tone, glad that the team accompanying her was a medical one comprising some of her closest professional colleagues and so, as a result, were all aware of the relationship she shared with Sam.

"You want to ride on my shoulders to dial out?" asked Sam, smirking now she remembered the last time they'd done that - it had involved trying to locate Christmas decorations in the attic without disturbing a sleeping Cassie by getting out the noisy stepladder.

"If you wouldn't mind...I've now got snow AND sand inside my uniform..." explained Janet, carefully moving towards the edge of the MALP so as to be able to climb onto her lover.

"Unpleasant..." agreed Sam, satisfied as to the situation enough now so as to be prepared to remove her kit and place it on the MALP, ready for Janet to sit on her shoulders, "...why are you all up there?" she asked, not unreasonably as she waited for Janet to remove some of her gear.

"We were hoping we'd gain enough height Ma'am..." explained Smith, wondering how long it would take for this particular adventure to hit the gossip grapevine at the SGC.

"Ah..." There really wasn't much more to say.....

"Welcome back Doctor, Major Carter, did you manage to resolve the DHD problem?"

"Yes Sir."

"Excellent. Debriefing in one hour..." General Hammond didn't hear the chorus of 'Yes Sirs' uttered by the medical team, distracted by what he was seeing...


"Yes General?"

"Does that look like...?" He was unable to finish his thought.

"It does Sir..." There was no way to disagree.

"Best not tell Doctor Fraiser..." he observed, before turning and heading towards his office, the urge to whistle overwhelming.

"No Sir, best not Sir..." agreed the Sergeant, before joining in with the General at the sight in the Gate Room. It was an unfortunate combination of coincidences...The team of 7 medical personnel, lead by Doctor Fraiser had left for a sandy planet some six hours earlier...and somehow, none of them appeared taller than about 5 foot 4....now, six hours later, they'd returned, seven weary medics, wearing biscuit coloured BDUs, clustered around one much taller officer, wearing artic white BDUs....all dusted with snow.

"Never thought I'd see Snow White and the Seven Dwarves in the Gate Room...." muttered Siler, watching in amusement as, unknown to the recently returned team, the control room started whistling and singing....

"Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work we go...."

The End

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