DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Psych or the characters, and I'm not profiting from this.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was inspired by the new Karen/Jules community: karenjules, which, of course, you should all join.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Don't Kill the Messenger
(Especially if He's a Fake Psychic)
By bank_farter
"This is ridiculous," Gus huffed. "We've been waiting for almost twenty minutes. We should just come back later."
"Patience, Gus," Shawn said, holding a hand up. "We really need this case, and, besides, I'm sure she'll be out soon. How long can one person stay in the bathroom?"
Gus rolled his eyes. "I used to wonder the same thing when I stayed over at your house on burrito night."
"What?"
"Nothing," Gus replied quickly. "Maybe she's got a stomach virus, Shawn. You ever think of that?"
"Um, no? Why would I want to think of that? It's gross." Shawn turned to flash a disgusted look at his friend and then resumed watching the ladies room door. After a moment, it swung open to reveal a smiling Karen Vick.
"See? That is not the look of a woman who's been puking for almost a half an hour," Shawn whispered victoriously before darting out from the ficus he and Gus were hiding behind. "Chief!"
Vick turned, startled. "Mr. Spencer. Did I call you in today?"
"No," Shawn began, "that's actually the problem. See, you guys haven't called me in for a case in almost two weeks now, and you know how emotional Gus gets when I don't get a chance to— "
Shawn trailed off as he heard the bathroom door open and turned to see Juliet O'Hara exit.
"Hi guys." Jules grinned and waved, then walked over to the counter and flipped open a case file.
Shawn returned the wave hesitantly and frowned. That whole time we were waiting, I didn't see her go into the bathroom. Something isn't right here...
"You were saying?" the Chief prompted, her voice tinged with mild irritation. Shawn ignored her, letting his eyes rove over Jules's form. Suit jacket tucked into the back of her pants. He squinted at the hand she was using to hold the folder. Light hair that's too short to be hers stuck on her ring.
It can't be…
"Mr. Spencer?" The gruff, annoyed tone jarred Shawn from his observations, and he returned his attention to the chief.
"Sorry, what?" he mumbled. His eyes darted down to take in the small, pink smudge on Vick's jacket collar and the red mark barely visible on the skin near the opening of her dress shirt. Holy late night fantasy material, Batman…
She rolled her eyes and gestured towards her face. "I'm up here, Spencer." She sighed and turned to Gus. "Bring him back when he snaps out of whatever it is he's going through."
"What the heck was that?" Gus demanded after the chief walked away to join Jules at the counter. "You made me wait here all that time and then you didn't even ask—"
"They're totally doing it," Shawn murmured.
"What? Who?" Gus followed Shawn's line of vision to the chief and the detective and let out a short laugh. "Jules and Vick? Real funny, Shawn."
"No," he insisted, staring wide-eyed at the pair. "Really. Jules is so hitting that."
"Please. You don't know that. You couldn't know that because it's not true," rebuked Gus. "It's crazy."
"Oh yeah?" Shawn winked at his partner before he grabbing his own head and shrieking. "Ahh! The spirits! They're speaking… to… me…"
Chief Vick and Jules turned around, startled, and Gus took a step away and did his best to study the floor tiles as his partner started to flail around the lobby.
"They say… the bathroom… there was something!" Shawn flinched. "Something… in the police station… bathroom… "
Gus glanced up just long enough to notice the blush that had crept up Juliet's cheeks and the alarmed look that had settled over the Chief's face.
"Something… that I should have been…invited to...join in on!" Shawn finished, frowning as he stilled. "Seriously, what could that be?"
"MR. SPENCER!" bellowed Vick.
"Shawn!" Jules shrieked.
"Woah, ladies!" said Shawn, holding both hands in front of him in a defensive posture. "Obviously, something I've said has hit a nerve here, but I can't control what the forces of the universe decide to impart to me!" He paused. "Although they do seem to be indicating that they were referring to an unusually positive incidence. Huh."
Vick glared at him for a moment before dragging O'Hara into her office.
Gus stared after them, jaw hanging open. "I can't believe it. You were actually right. Jules. The chief." He turned to his best friend. "How the heck did you know that?"
"Gus!" Shawn gasped, feigning outrage. "I'm surprised at you. Prying into people's private business that way. Tsk tsk."
Gus glared and him, and Shawn grinned triumphantly. "Besides," he continued, "A gentleman never tells."
The End