DISCLAIMER: Guiding Light and its characters are the property of Proctor & Gamble. No infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Emma's in Bed
"Emma's in bed. I think it's our turn," Natalia said, sitting down beside Olivia on the sofa, taking her hand and bringing it to her mouth.
"Mmmmm that sounds so good."
"I've told you before; I want all of the things that people in love share."
"I love you; but I worry about you. (long pause). I've had sex without love. I've had quiet, awkward fumbling, hoping to God not to get caught sex. I have had desperate hormonal, animalistic sex. Right now, I don't want sex with you; I want to love you! Everything we are has challenged you; has challenged your beliefs. I want to take things slowly. I want to have time for you to consider if it's right for you. I don't want you to wake up tomorrow and regret anything. We don't have to have it all tonight. "
"Don't you want me?"
"Mmmmm . That's so not fair! I want you more than you could even imagine! But you have only ever been with two guys in your life, and even with that you waited for 19 years in between them. And they both got you pregnant! Life changing events! You are more than sex to me. We have an entire life time!
I mean, five times I have stood up in front of everyone and promised to spend the rest of my life with someone and always wondered if I really would. Everything had to be rushed and hurried, because I think that I always knew it would never last, but you and I will last. We have time! Not want you?! Every time you touch me, I feel like a 16 year old boy. I get so excited that I think that I will lose control, right there without even getting you alone, or undressed. I want you ALL OF THE TIME!!!
I drove over here and I don't know how, or remember which exit I took, because all that I saw in my mind was YOU! Mmmmm I want you. I want you here! I want you now! I want you in my arms! I want you on the sofa, and on the floor, and on that kitchen table. When I was watching your hands make those cookies today, you can't even imagine what I was thinking. (I was a little embarrassed to have my child in the same room with us, and your cookies and what my mind was thinking). Yes. I want you. But I don't want you to wake up in the morning, in our bed, without our Emma buffer, and doubt that we are right. So how about tonight, we just sleep? How 'bout tonight we just hold each other? and talk? and dream? and we just be together?"
"I can't imagine that I could wake up and not want you, but it has been a long day. And carrying the baby does make me a little more tired. I would like to lie down with you, to hold you. And maybe see what comes after that."
"Tonight? Nothing. Nothing comes after that tonight, but tomorrow night may be a different matter."
"Not even a kiss? I mean, you haven't kissed me like I want to be kissed since the night you had to explain Emma's story to me, (pause), and I keep feeling you on my lips; and keep wanting you there. I can have a kiss, right?"
"Mmmmm did I mention 16 year old boy? Do you know how hard it is to just kiss a sixteen year old boy? And then stop?"
Here's hoping, thought Natalia.
For two women who had been through so much together, getting ready for bed that night was oddly filled with shyness and self-doubt. Olivia, who had spent most of her life using her body as an asset, (and who at times Natalia had had to dress, like a petulant child), turned from Natalia, unusually nervous. She had spent the day trying to decide the best choice of bedtime attire: her mannish pajamas would never do to appeal to Natalia. Though she wasn't ready to make love to Natalia, she did know how to seduce and striped pajamas just weren't the way; sleeping naked beside Natalia, though seriously desirable, was a little too aggressive for their first night together,(not quite modest enough, she decided); in the end, though it really would never have been her preference, she decided that a nice silk ¾ length chemise would have to do for the occasion, and emerald would be the perfect colour. When she turned around, there was Natalia, watching her, with a hidden smile that only allowed one of those incredible dimples to escape her control.
Natalia, who had spent most of her life practicing the modesty dictated as a virtue within her faith, was torn between her desire to watch Olivia's graceful form, her desire to seduce Olivia (which even in her mind she had to smile at, as she had never consciously made an effort to seduce anyone EVER! ), and her desire to have this first awkward evening, over with. Between her reverie and indecision, Olivia was changed first, and now she was going to have to change in front of Olivia. In keeping with who she actually was, and though she certainly wasn't embarrassed about her naked body, she had seldom been naked in front of anyone except Gus. And now here she was, going to be naked, in a body that she barely recognised, with her baby-belly standing between her and Olivia, and she couldn't yet decide how Olivia would respond to it. (Perhaps 'Liv would be okay; after all, it was mothering Emma that had really brought them this close together). She had seen Olivia naked at least a piece at a time, during the days when she had to force 'Liv to get up, get dressed, eat food and take her meds. Now it was her turn to be naked and her favourite comfy flannel grannie-gowns were just not going to cut it. She had actually had to go out and buy something while outfitting her wardrobe with maternity clothes. I hope Olivia appreciates exactly how hard it is to find sexy maternity lingerie!
Natalia had found a beautiful, midnight blue, satin-like camisole. Though the silk camis were amazing, so was the price she would have had to pay for one. The cups of the camisole were lined with satin, for which Natalia could be quite grateful, as the lace on the outside of the cup would have stimulated her already sensitive nipples to an unbearable level. She wanted Olivia to want her and she didn't want to have to deal with such distractions as having attention seeking nipples all night long. She wanted Olivia long before she has known that she was pregnant, but the pregnancy hormones were making it difficult to keep her hands to herself. Now that they were feeling more comfortable with public handholding, her hands just wanted to wander; she had never been one for PDAs, but her hormones were confusing her values.
Losing her inhibitions, Natalia quickly changed for bed, and turned towards Olivia demanding to know, "So, where's my kiss?"
The look on Natalia's face would brook no arguments. Natalia looked so beautiful when she was decisive. Olivia couldn't help it, she had always been turned on by power, and though she always loved Natalia, that love of decisiveness, that look of I've made up my mind and you aren't going to change it, that was the look that could melt Olivia's resolve. That look was what had forced her to recover from the surgery, and it was a part of what had gotten her to come back to the farmhouse to begin with.
Olivia stepped closer to Natalia, moved into her embrace and kissed her. It started as a sweet, almost placating, comforting kiss that one might place on the forehead of a child, but it became more demanding and more insistent. For so long the very idea of sitting too close in public, or even holding hands at the farmhouse had been fraught with the panic of who will see us? That they had stayed far away from each other, but now that everyone knew, they were safe to be this close.
The kiss that had started as compliance, Olivia doing as she was told, quickly became necessity, a life preserving kiss. The first gentle peck soon became teeth bashing, tongue searching, shared breathing, gasping, wanting. Though neither had any interest in the time that was passing in the world around them, time was passing. The 10 pm sun was finally heading to bed, and the room began to move from light to dark. Though each desperately wanted to see the other, the dusk created the courage to move themselves forward in their explorations.
Olivia needed to breathe, to regroup. She withdrew her head from their kiss and looked as closely as the fading light would allow. Natalia's beautiful trusting face looked up at her. Those dimples, that smile, the trust and love in Natalia's deep brown eyes, were enough to encourage tears of sheer happiness to escape from Olivia's smoky orbs. Natalia recognised them for what they were, and in a move that surprised them both she licked them away, kissing both eyes as she reached the source of the tears. Their noses touched and they stood just holding each other as if the whole planet had suddenly gone away.
Hands began to explore faces; tracing eyelids, noses and mouths. A gentle touch, following eyebrows, chins and cheeks, finally Olivia allowed herself to touch the dimples that grew tremendously as the smile that triggered them beamed a new kind of joy into the room. Olivia moaned her happiness at such a long sought-after opportunity. She didn't mean for the sound to escape her, but she was powerless to control it. She also didn't know what to say or do about the electrical charge that was going through her groin. She really did want Natalia to have time to consider how much of a physical relationship that she wanted to have with Olivia, but Olivia's need was so overwhelming that she wasn't sure how she was still standing, her knees just wanted to buckle, to make her fall and to bring Natalia down upon her.
Instead Natalia led them both over to the bed, pushing Olivia backwards, and then crawling over top of her, straddling her, holding Olivia's hands and leaving Olivia a willing prisoner. (After all if Natalia was on top, then Natalia could set her own pace, right?). Again that moan escaped from Olivia's throat, the one that she had not expected. She felt Natalia's hair against her cheek, as Natalia nuzzled into her throat, kissing, sucking, licking at the point where the sound had been coming from. As Natalia moved back, sucking on earlobes, Olivia's command over her hips collapsed. Her hips were moving of their own accord, and Natalia had noticed.
"Not so fast, not so impatient, remember, you said that we have all of the time in the world. We don't have to have everything tonight," Natalia purred.
Getting more and more desperate for release from this torture, Olivia growled and groaned her frustration. Natalia moved down to Olivia's throat. Kissing Olivia with large biting kisses, that Olivia might regret in the morning, but for right now, was not creating enough of a mark to satisfy Olivia's soul.
Olivia knew now that for the first time in her life, she was willing to let someone else control her life (and her body) completely. So this desperate fire inside of her body was love, huh? Wondering why she hadn't thought of trying this before, and distractedly responding to her inner dialogue with, oh ya, no Natalia before, stupid!
Natalia really was taking her sweet time. Exploring Olivia's neck and moving down to her breasts. Finally Natalia had to let go of Olivia's hands, to remove the chemise that was hiding her prize. Natalia had often looked at Olivia's breasts through sweaters and across the room. She had often thought of how large Olivia was for someone of the rest of her body size. Looking at them naked she was able to appreciate their shape and taste, and when Olivia began to squirm and whine again, Natalia was grateful that Olivia was so very sensitive here.
Natalia had never touched another woman like this. She took her time tracing her hands over the full round shape of Olivia's breasts. She traced the areolas with pointed fingertips. Placed a finger on the tip of the nipple, then licked her finger and did it again. Though the nipples had been standing proudly, as soon as they were exposed to the air, Natalia's touch and the sweet moisture that came off of Natalia's tongue, made Olivia's nipples pull almost painfully tight, and Natalia spent several long minutes exploring the wonders that were Olivia's nipples. Olivia's nipples produced sounds in her throat that Natalia wanted to keep in her heart forever, sounds that she Natalia was creating, and orchestrating.
When Natalia moved lower still, to Olivia's belly she could not help but spend time using her tongue to make love to Olivia's navel. She nipped gently at Olivia's belly, sucking, licking and tasting everything that she could, allowing Olivia's moans to guide her actions. The more Olivia moaned, and her hips moved, the more Natalia's confidence grew, until finally, she had the courage to move towards Olivia's centre.
"Do you know that I love you?" Natalia whispered so hoarsely that neither woman really recognised the voice.
"Mmmm " was the only response that Olivia could muster. Every cell of her being was raw; this was not sex; this could only be love, to be this complete, this consuming.
Natalia kissed Olivia, again sucking and licking at that vital bundle of nerves that controlled Olivia right now. Before Olivia really had an opportunity to appreciate Natalia's efforts, she was overwhelmed with an orgasm that stole her breath away. As she tried to move Natalia away from her sensitive centre, she felt Natalia move her fingers inside the warm wet passage that so many had used before, but never with such love, such caring, and Olivia came again.
By the third time, Olivia was so exhausted that she barely moved her hips off of the bed, but again her breathing had stopped, as she existed simply through the messages from her raw nerves.
Natalia still did not return to Olivia's side, instead she kissed and licked Olivia's clit. Every direct touch made Olivia shudder. Natalia caressed Olivia's buttocks, and back; she travelled as far as she could down Olivia's thighs without leaving her clit, and when she was done, she rested her head on the gentle mound of curls that hid Olivia's paradise.
As she talked to Olivia, her free hand continued to explore, "So maybe you're right, we should just talk tonight. Talk before we do anything, just to be sure that we're alright; I'd hate to do anything that either of us would regret in the morning."
Return to Guiding Light Fiction
Return to Main Page