DISCLAIMER: These characters belong to Ryan Murphy and the WB. No infringement is intended.
CONTINUITY: This is in my Bram!verse and is next after 'Under Pressure'.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
The Eternal Question
"So: Ginger or Mary Anne?" They were watching classic reruns of Gilligan's Island on Nick at Night.
"Huh?" Sam asked.
"Ginger or Mary Anne: who would you go for?" the blonde asked.
Sam considered it for just a second before her self-preservation instinct kicked in. "Ohhhhh no," she objected. "I'm not falling for that again!" There was this whole episode where Brooke asked her-innocently enough-if she thought this redhead at the mall was attractive.
Oh my God, did she have to hear snarky comments about every redhead they encountered for the next month. "Do you like her? Is that one your type?"
"No, Sam," Brooke disclaimed, "it's the eternal question."
"Ginger or Mary Anne? Who would you go for? It's really a study of what you find attractive: the sexy starlet or the secretly hot girl next door type."
Sam fixed her with a stare for a second. "No," her eyes narrowed suspiciously, "this is a trap," she deduced. "Fool me twice, shame on me. Isn't that the old saying?"
"Sam," Brooke chuckled disarmingly, "you're being paranoid. Ginger and Mary Anne represent two culturally significant archetypes for women. Sure, we've certainly diversified since-when did the announcer say the show aired? The late sixties?"
Sam nodded in affirmation. "We've come a long way since those simplified personas," Brooke continued, "but at the core the question is still very applicable thirty years later."
Sam considered her response carefully. "I think I'm attracted to aspects of both. I love you-and you are very much the archetype of the girl next door, but you're also movie star gorgeous..."
Brooke beamed appreciatively. "So," Sam expounded, "I guess a combination of the two. Ginger Anne," she answered facetiously.
Brooke grinned. "That's not an answer. You have to pick one of them."
"Why? I would hesitate to characterize them as female 'archetypes'. Ginger and Mary Anne are simple stereotypes-paper thin characterizations designed to serve as window dressing on a TV show written for mass consumption thirty years ago. To say that these two represent us-or ever represented us-is insulting at best-and a downright affront to the women's liberation movement at worst."
"Lord, Sam," Brooke rolled her eyes, "can you get off your soapbox for a moment? It's just a question. Who do you like better: Ginger or Mary Anne? Not everything has these huge ramifications."
"But there are ramifications! If this comparison has lasted in our culture for this long, then--"
"Oh for the love of God, Sam!" Brooke exclaimed. "Can you just answer the question?"
"All right!" Sam declared. "Ginger," she blurted. "I like Ginger..."
Satisfied, Brooke observed Tina Louise cavorting on the TV in a modest bikini. "Ginger?" she probed.
"Yeah," Sam admitted. "If I had to pick one of the two, I'd pick Ginger."
"Interesting," Brooke commented. She watched the TV for a moment longer, then turned back to her girlfriend. "So this thing with redheads is a full blown infatuation, then?"
Sam's head thumped to the floor. When will I learn...?
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