DISCLAIMER: I don’t own them but I do love them. No copyright infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Rose and Donna’s conversation in the park is quoted from episode 4.11, “Turn Left”. Many thanks to celievamp for being an awesome beta reader!
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: Up to and including 4.11, “Turn Left”
In Every Universe
"Turn right and change the world." the fortune teller said.
You did change it. Then, with the help of Rose Tyler, you changed it back.
Rose Tyler. Bad Wolf. Rose Tyler. Bad Wolf. A constant staccato beat in your brain since the real you, assuming this is the real you, woke up in that tent and the Doctor told you just who she was.
She's everywhere in that other world, the one she says is all wrong, popping up when all the world is going off kilter. A flash of light and there she was - all blonde, blue leather, and questions.
After the first few times, you start to expect her. You keep watch. Your hear your heart pounding each time you see that flash of light and by the time she rounds the corner your heartbeat is so loud that only her voice can drown it out.
That night in the park, you watch the sky catch fire and she finally tells you why she's come.
"It's coming from across the stars and nothing can stop it."
"What is?" you ask.
"Well what do you keep telling me for? What am I supposed to do? I'm nothing special. I mean... I'm nothing special. I'm a temp. I'm not even that! I'm nothing."
"Donna Noble, you're the most important woman in the whole of creation."
"Oh, don't. Don't. I'm tired. I'm so tired."
"I need you to come with me."
"Yeah, well, blonde hair might work on the men but you ain't shiftin' me lady."
She seems amused at that. "That's what I get?"
"I've got plenty more." You're pissed off and scared out of your mind and still you can't stop yourself from being just a bit flirty.
"You'll come with me. Only when you want to." She seems so sure.
You walked away, did your best to act like you didn't believe her. If you were honest with yourself now, you'd have to admit that by then you already trusted Rose Tyler and the blonde hair really was working on you. You knew you'd follow her the next time she appeared. Even when she warned you you were going to die, you knew you'd go. When everything in that world seemed wrong, Rose Tyler seemed right.
Three weeks later, you did follow her. You saw the stars blinking out of existence and there she was. You told her you were ready and ended up at a military installation staring at the bloody stupid bug that had started this whole mess.
You are past freaking out. You can't breathe. You have to get away from that room, the mirrors, her eyes on you. A gigantic bug on your back. A gigantic invisible out of synch with time and space bug but a gigantic bug none the less! You taste the panic deep in your throat. You breath is coming in gasps. Tears warm your cheeks.
"Hey, where'd you run off too?" She pokes her head around the door of the room you've been assigned for your night at the base. She pauses when she gets a good look at you. You must look a complete mess. She, of course, is gorgeous as always.
"You! You said I was special. What you really meant was I'm some kind of freak! I have a flipping time altering bug on my back! That is not special! That's bloody insane!" You don't even try to stop the angry tears. She's getting on your nerves now. She pops up and saves your life, makes you think you're important, and then she shows you this. She's put the whole bloody universe on your shoulders.
"Donna, you are special. That thing you just saw, that's not you. It's latched on to you because you are important. You have no idea how important you are. In my universe, I've been watching the stars go for months now. Every night a little bit darker. I traveled across universes to stop it Donna and I didn't know it at first but you're the key. So much has gone wrong. You're going to help stop all that. You're going to help make it right."
"But you said it yourself! You said this thing's a part of me!"
"It's a part of you now, Donna. But it's not who you are."
"Right. I'm just a secretary. Oh right, not even a secretary because I was sacked and then the city blew up when it was hit by the bloody Titanic! Thanks you very much! Just a lousy unemployed secretary whose whole city blew up!"
"No, not just a secretary. Not just anything. You're brilliant and beautiful. And you..." You don't let her finish.
"Did you just call be beautiful?" That's different. It had been easy to be angy with her until she started the beautiful talk. You swipe the remaining tears from your face and look at up at her.
"Yeah, I guess I did." She bites her lip and you think she might be blushing a bit. It's...adorable.
And in a second it's gone, replaced by what you can only describe as a predatory look. Before you know it, she's got you pinned against the wall and her mouth is on yours, her tongue finding entrance to your mouth, her hands wandering, your hands wandering.
Really, you shouldn't feel guilty. The you that slept with Rose Tyler wasn't the you that knew The Doctor, that knew the little wistful look he got when anyone uttered the name "Rose". No, it wasn't you; it was secretary Donna. Slutty, slutty secretary Donna shagging the girl the Doctor has never quite gotten over. Naughty, slutty secretary Donna having mind blowing sex with Rose Tyler in an alternate universe.
Your memory started to come back the night after you told the Doctor about Bad Wolf. You don't remember everything but you remember enough. Lucky for you, the Doctor's been distracted by impending doom and the end of the universe and all so you haven't had to admit to him that you remember Rose Tyler much less that your memories include naked bits.
"You won't tell me your name, but you're perfectly happy to stick your hand down my knickers!"
She smiles. "Well, I must admit, I'm probably bending a few rules. You mind?" She raises an eyebrow and pushes her knee in between your legs, parting them further to allow herself access.
"Mind? Well, no. Not as such." As you speak, her lips find your neck and she kisses then bites down gently. You gasp, say, "No...don't mind. Keep on, then."
She laughs softly and pulls you closer. There is no space between you now. Universes and bodies collide at the will of your mysterious blonde and she claims you are the most important person in the universe.
"What did she look like?"
"She was...blonde." She was blonde? Best you can come up with? Brilliant Noble.
That night, as the hum of the Tardis lulls you to sleep, you see flashes. Her sad eyes watching you walk into her time machine, a cloud of smoke over London, her bright smile as she looks at you across the park, your neighbors in the back of a truck on the way to the camps, a flash of blue light, disappearing stars, her tongue against your skin, her fingers inside you. Oh god. Rose Tyler.
"I'm serious! Tell me your name." You have her pinned beneath you, straddling her hips. Bare skin against bare skin. "Please?" you ask. You run your fingernails down her chest, watching as pale white skin turns pink and then white again. You bring one hand up to trace the the curve of her breast. When your fingernails graze her nipple, she moans and arches her hips against you.
"Why do you need to know my name?" She slowly moves her hand up your leg.
Your breath hitches as her hand strokes your inner thigh but you continue. "Well, you know my name. You know a lot about me, in fact. More than I do. Unfair advantage." You bring your face down so it's just inches from hers, you trail your tongue along the edge of one ear. You speak the rest in a whisper. "Besides, if you do that thing you just did to me again, I'll need something to scream besides 'Oh god.' If you don't tell me your name, I'll be forced to get creative."
"From what I've seen so far, I happen to like it when you're creative."
"You say that now. But what if, in a moment of passion, I'm forced to make up a name and yell out 'Oh God, Burt! Oh, fuck me, Burt!' What then?"
Her hands fly up to cover her face as she giggles. She parts the fingers just slightly so she can peek out at you. "I can assure you my name is not Burt."
You are still. The universe, wrong universe or not, seems perfection just for a second as you look at her underneath you. She's come at you with all this confidence and technobabble and the doom and the gloom and stars going out and you've been in awe of her, maybe even a bit scared of her, since you met. Gazing down at her now, suddenly you're struck by how young she looks.
"What are you looking at me like that for?" she asks. The girl slips away and you're looking at the bolshy time traveler again.
"Nothing. Just, you're gorgeous is all. Now, shush, and let me ravish you properly, Burt!"
You keep leading these lives that get snatched away. It doesn't seem fair.
You were happy in the library. You had a husband and children. Maybe you weren't exactly happy but you were content. Yes, content. Things were in order. You were in order.
You weren't happy in the Doctorless world, that world you created when you turned right instead of left. One stupid little decision on your part led to years of suffering. No, you were decidedly not happy in that world but you did find one tiny flash of brilliance with Rose Tyler.
"We're running out of time, Donna. You'll have to go soon." She gets up and starts to gather her clothes. You feel cold watching her move across the room.
You have to ask. "You said none of this was supposed to happen. This whole universe? Me and you?"
When she finally looks at you, she looks older, tired - like she did the first night you saw her, the night you told her the doctor was dead. She stops fiddling with her clothing long enough to shake her head. "Not any of this universe, Donna. Definitely not you and me."
"Well isn't that just brilliant! Just a roll in the sack and, not only was shagging me a mistake, so is the whole bloody universe! And I thought some of the blokes I shagged were bad!" You shouldn't take it all out on her but you can't help it. The last few years have been bloody awful. You should be in a cubicle somewhere typing letters, filing things, sneaking out of work a few minutes early to meet the girls at the pub. None of that happened. You saw your city destroyed, countless lives snuffed out in instant, disaster after disaster. Through it all, there's been her. She's saved you so many times. She made you forget how stinking the world really was just to throw you out there on your own now, to tell you you're the only one who can save the universe, multiple universes even. Bloody flipping hell!
She sits down next to you on the bed. "These years have been awful. Maybe you wish you never met me but I'm glad I met you, Donna Noble. You're brave and you're beautiful and, even if you don't believe it right now, you're going to save the world. So, no, none of this was supposed to happen but don't for one second think that means I'm sorry about me and you. I'm not. When you get back, if you remember, you might be sorry but I'll never be."
You don't wish you'd never met her. Far from it. In truth, the thought of forgetting frightens you more than the gigantic bug, the time traveling, dying, more than anything else about this crazy situation. "I don't want to forget you." You grab her shoulders and pull her against you. You trace her bottom lip with your tongue. You kiss her until you start to feel a little dizzy from this combination of lust and desperation you are suddenly feeling. "I don't want to forget you." Repeating it as if you can make it so through desire alone.
She leans in and offers a soft kiss on your cheek. "Thank you, Donna."
Just hours later, you're lying on the street dying. The last thing you see is her face. The last thing you hear is her voice in your ear. "Two words. Bad Wolf."
You can't get the vision of her out of your head. Her face as she leaned in for a kiss. Her body as it responded to your hands, your mouth. Her expression as you phased out of her time on your way to die. Her leaning over you as the last breath left your body.
Bad Wolf. Rose Tyler. Bad Wolf. Rose Tyler. The rhythm of her names follows you everywhere. Now that you know her name, you can't stop it running through your head. Rose Tyler, a part of you in every universe, every time.
You wonder if you'll see her again.
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