DISCLAIMER: These characters are not mine, nor is the programme. They belong to the folk who made them. I do not claim them in any shape or form.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first fiction, inspired by discovering fiction. It's been a long time since I've seen the show, so can't remember the dates of when it took place. Also, it takes place from after the end of the series. The title sucks, but I couldn't think of another. I would love to know what you all think.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Facing
By Soricha
PROLOGUE:
She idly ran her fingers over the etched letters on the stone before her, not really reading them as she already knew what they said. She was watching the bird perched on the stone further behind the one she was sitting in front of. She smiled slightly as the bird began to sing, thinking what a beautiful sound in such a quiet place. The bird must have known that he was being watched, as he cocked his head to the young woman before spreading his wings and flying away. She let her eyes follow the bird's flight before it disappeared completely from view. She closed her eyes, feeling the cool evening air, and relishing in the silence, before returning her gaze to the stone before her. She allowed the words to sink into her mind yet again, and ran her fingers across the date again, exactly two weeks after her seventeenth birthday and here she was, exactly two weeks after her thirty second birthday. She smiled at the memory of both birthdays before frowning, feeling the tears welling in her eyes. She read the dates again and shook her head, allowing a whimper of a word to come between her lips.
"Why?"
The memories of that day flooded back to her as she closed her eyes again, allowing the tears to trickle down her cheeks.
*Flashback*
Brooke and Sam burst through the front doors of the house, laughing at the latest scam they had pulled on Ms. Glass.
"Her face though? Did you see her face?"
Brooke could only nod, as her laughter wouldn't allow her to speak.
"What is this in my desk?" Sam impersonated the teacher badly, making Brooke laugh even harder.
"Stop!" Brooke yelped as she hit Sam on the shoulder, "I can't breathe."
Sam grinned as she dropped her bag on the counter, noticing for the first time the quietness in the house. Brooke saw Sam's expression become serious, and sobered up. Sam frowned.
"Hey, anyone home!" She yelled as she waltzed through the hallway into the living room only to find it empty. "Mom!"
Brooke followed her in and shrugged as Sam looked at her questioningly.
"Must be shopping,"
Sam raised her eyebrow at the blonde. "Yes, because shopping is what everyone does?"
Brooke just shrugged again, only to follow Sam walk back to the fridge door. Sam sighed.
"She usually leaves a note."
Brooke sensing worry from Sam which was unusual. Jane went out all the time, and Sam never worried before. She spoke up.
"Yeah, but with Mac teething, she probably was in a hurry. You know that kid is being a nightmare… obviously, your little sister."
Sam hit her lightly, "Ha ha! I forget how insanely not funny you are. At least Mac takes after the better sister."
Brooke hit her back, only to have Sam launch herself at her, tickling her. Brooke screamed and ran away from the smaller brunette into the living room. Sam pushed her on the couch, and returned to her tickling torture. Brooke screamed and laughed as she struggled to get away from the surprisingly stronger girl.
"Stop!"
Sam grinned as she shook her head, "Who is the better sister?"
"Me."
"Wrong answer."
Brook yelped as the tickling became even more frequent, "Okay, you are."
Sam grinned but didn't stop the torture, "Sorry, didn't here that."
Brooke screamed, "You are!"
Sam let go and sat upwards, while Brooke struggled to regain her breath, her face blushed from the excessive laughing. She looked up at Sam and grinned, to have the grin returned.
If someone had told these two, that they would be best friends, they would have laughed . But the accident had brought them closer together. Brooke grimaced at the memory and felt the weight on her lighten as Sam stood up. She watched Sam move towards the doorway only to stop in place, paling. Brooke stood up,
"Sam?" Brooke walked over to the smaller girl to see what she was looking at. The red lighting flashing on the answer machine. Brooke smiled in relief, and nudged Sam gently before flicking it on.
The voice crackled as it spoke through the speakers, "Girls, there's been an accident, come to the hospital."
Mike's eerily calm voice echoed through the speakers bouncing off the walls making Brooke shiver. She turned to see Sam shaking and instinctively went to her side, and pulled her close to her. Sam allowed herself to be held before pushing Brooke away.
"You drive," she stated as she pulled open the door. Brooke picked up her keys, and followed.
Every thought ran through her mind, as Brooke drove, every plausible and implausible possibility of what could have happened, as she held a mantra in her head. 'Please, don't be bad.' She glanced at Sam who hadn't uttered a word since they left the house. The brunette was gazing out the window, as Brooke struggled to drive within the limit.
Mike was sitting in the waiting room, his eyes red, his arms holding a sleeping baby. Brooke rushed over to be at his side.
"Daddy… is everything ok? What's wrong?"
Mike looked into his daughter's hazel eyes, before passing the infant to her. He looked beyond her shoulder to Sam, and he pushed Brooke gently out of his path. He suddenly looked older as he approached the young girl.
His voice barely a whisper as he spoke, "Sam… I'm so sorry…"
Sam could only shake her head, and tried to back away from him.
"No… no…"
Mike continued his approach towards her, and pulled her to him.
"I am so sorry."
He could feel her hitting him as he tried to envelope her into a hug. He felt her shaking and tightened his hold on her as she let out a blood-curdling scream.
"NO!"
*End of Flashback*
The young woman, smiled slightly as she allowed her fingers to trace the name etched onto the stone, and allowed the name sink into her mind yet again.
Jane McQueen.
The young woman coughed nervously before allowing herself to speak,
"Hi Mom, it's me… I know it's been a long time, in fact too long, some might say. A lot has happened. Some things were bad, some things good… I feel silly speaking to the air, but… I need you to hear me, or at least think you can hear me… Mom, I'm such an idiot…"
CHAPTER ONE
Brooke knocked on the door gently, before pushing it open, the room was in darkness but she could make out Sam's shape on the bed. The younger girl was leaning against the headboard, her knees tucked into her chest with her arms wrapped around them. Brooke spoke gently as she walked into the room.
"Sam, the car will be here in an hour."
Brooke watched as Sam made no effort to move. She sat down beside her, resting her hand on the brunette's arm. "Sam, you need to get dressed… you need…" Brooke bit her lip. She didn't know what Sam needed, and she couldn't think of anything to say. Nothing was going to help at this moment. She stood up and walked to the curtains and opened them. The light filled the room, but didn't seem to shine despite the strength of the sun. Brooke glanced at Sam who hadn't moved either her body or her eyes. Brooke sat in front of Sam and lifted her face with her hand, and looked directly into her eyes.
"Sam, it's time."
Sam nodded slightly but didn't make any effort to move. Brooke sighed as she went to the closet. She glanced through the items of the clothing, only one thought entering her mind. 'You are supposed to be a fashion queen…' She suppressed a bitter laugh before pulling out a long black skirt, and a simple black shirt. She laid them out on the bed and looked at Sam.
"Sam, get dressed… I'll be outside if you need anything… ok?"
Sam made no response, but Brooke took that as a yes. She treaded gently through the room, closing the door softly behind her. She sighed as she leaned back against the door. She scanned the hallway and saw no one, but her eyes dropped on the framed photos on the wall. She saw one with Jane, Sam and her, taken in the days when she and Sam were enemies. She smiled as she remembered the saga that took place during that photo session. Sam and her were exchanging any insult they could think of while Jane was trying to calm them down, saying that there may be a possibility in a nice photo being taken. The girls continued fighting until Mike had said 'Smile' to which they turned to smile before returning to each other to continue their bickering. Brooke touched the frame briefly feeling tears spring to her eyes as she thought of the emptiness Jane was leaving behind. 'Brooke, you need to be strong for Dad and for Sam… and for Mac.' She had told herself this more that once since that afternoon in the hospital. She could only think of her baby sister left without a mother, as she once was, as Sam now is… as she is again. She heard the knock on the door and peeked down the stairs to see that the car had arrived earlier. She watched as her father opened it, with his youngest child in his arms. Mac hadn't left her father's sight since that afternoon. It was as if Mac represented all that he and Jane were. And in a way, she was. Brooke watched her father turn to call her only to stop when his eyes met hers. The blonde nodded before turning around to get Sam, but Sam was already standing next to her. Brooke studied Sam's profile, and had never seen this much pain and anguish before.
Sam glanced at her briefly before heading down the stairs, and the blonde followed her.
Sam watched a young man kneel before a headstone further down in the cemetery, finding that to be more comforting than her immediate surroundings. She couldn't bring her eyes to look away from him as he tidied the flowers and she wondered who lay beneath the ground. It must have been someone special, considering how meticulously and tenderly he is tending to the flowers. She could only be aware of the sounds around her. She could Mac getting restless in Brooke's arms, squirming and beginning to cry. She could hear Carmen offer to take her from her. She could hear Brooke whispers of comforts into her ear, promising to be there. She could hear sobs from their friends. She could hear the heart-breaking weeps from her step-father. She could hear the monotonous voice of the priest as he promised the heavens to her mother. Yet, she refused to look at the sources of that noise. She could only focus on the young man who was standing up now. He turned to leave, stopping to watch the proceedings with respect, smiling slightly at Sam. Sam looked away and finally let her eyes meet the coffin which now was in the ground. She could feel the anger brimming in her, the tears stinging, and her breathing becoming ragged. She let out a strangled sob, and felt Brooke wrap and arm around her. She wanted to find comfort in that but could only shiver at the touch. She allowed herself to think about the death of not only her mother, but both her parents. She was an orphan. She laughed harshly as she thought this. She knew Brooke was surprised by the laugh without having to look at her. She glanced at Mike, whose eyes wouldn't leave the coffin. She glanced at Mac crying in Carmen's arms, her friend 's sobs matching the infant's. She finally glanced at Brooke, her best friend and her step-sister. Brooke looked at her and Sam could see in the hazel eyes, concern, loss and pain. Sam looked back at the coffin. She was an orphan and she was alone. She shook of Brooke's arms before screaming at the coffin.
"Why? Mom, why? Why the fuck did you have to die? You fuckin' bitch. I hate you!"
"Sam," Mike questioned, startled at the outburst from his step-daughter, the first time she spoke since that day.
Sam glanced at him, eyes filled only with anger. She felt Brooke grab her, but could only shake her off. She glanced at everyone before turning to run.
"Sam!" Brooke cried after her, and looked to her father, who was rooted to his spot. She glanced at Lily, Carmen and Harrison who didn't seem to know what to do. She turned and ran after Sam, calling her name.
The pain was shooting through the tall blonde's leg and side as she raced after Sam, but she wouldn't let it slow her down. This however didn't stop her from groaning as the agony struck with each movement she made. She saw Sam turn into the park, and followed her, almost tripping from the unexpected step. Sam slowed down as Brooke became faster, resulting in Brooke slamming into her, knocking her to the ground. Sam pushed up against Brooke, trying to move her off her. Brooke refused to move, and pinned Sam's arms to the ground. Sam struggled against her, as Brooke whispered to her.
"Sam… listen to me… I am here… it's okay, I am here… Sam, I love you."
On hearing the words of love, Sam stopped moving and stared into Brooke's eyes, seeing that the blonde was trying desperately hard to bring her relief. She could feel the tears spilling over her cheeks.
"Why did she have to die, Brooke? Why?"
Brooke let the smaller girl go and pulled her towards her, hugging tightly, feeling the brunette shake against her as she sobbed. Brooke allowed herself to cry with her, to let out the pain she too was suffering.
It was getting dark, when the two girls let go off each other. Brooke looked at Sam who seemed to be calmer, but the pain and anguish had not lessened. Sam looked back at Brooke, whose eyes were filled with loss, pain and fear. Brooke put her arm around Sam's shoulders.
"Do you want to go home?"
Sam shook her head. 'What home?' She thought. She glanced at Brooke. It wasn't her home anymore.
"We should go back… help Dad with Mac."
Sam jumped, as her thoughts became intruded by Brooke's words. An hour had passed since they last spoke. She felt Brooke move, and watched as the taller girl stretched her muscles. She saw Brooke wince, and knew she was feeling the pain from the accident. She took the hand being offered to her and let herself be pulled up.
Brooke never let Sam's hand as they returned home. She knew Sam needed family even more now. She wanted Sam to understand that they were family. Yet, she didn't know how to make Sam believe.
As they walked into the house, Sam headed straight upstairs avoiding the friends that approached her. Lily looked to Brooke.
"Is she okay?"
"Would you be?"
Lily sighed, and shook her head.
Brooke knocked on the door softly before letting herself in. The guests had left an hour earlier, and Mike went straight to the bedroom with the baby in tow. Brooke looked around the emptiness of the house before starting to clean up. She wanted to check on Sam before she went to bed but could here the sobs.
She let her eyes adjust to the darkness and made her way to the bed. She pulled Sam into a hug, feeling her shirt dampen from the tears. She felt the brunette tighten her arms around her. Brooke tipped her head so she could kiss Sam's forehead. She felt Sam whimper at the contact before pulling back. She could see the tears glisten in the dark eyes against the dim light provided by the moon. Before she could take another breath, she could feel the brunette's lips against hers. The kiss was hard and desperate, and Brooke could only respond to it. The kiss became more demanding and desperate as Sam pushed her back. The bed against her back and the knee moving between her legs, made Brooke pull out of the kiss. Sam tried to kiss her again only for her to push her back.
"Sam, no!"
Sam ignored her and leaned over her. Brooke pushed her off forcefully and moved from the bed.
"What are you doing, Sam?"
Sam watched her for a moment before turning away, and letting the sobs take over again.
"I'm sorry."
Brooke's heart broke at the vulnerability displayed before her. She knelt back onto the bed and lay beside Sam's seated form. She placed her hand on Sam's back.
"Sam, look at me… please."
The dark eyes met the hazel ones. Brooke's voice was barely above a whisper.
"Tonight only… okay?"
Sam nodded as she watched Brooke sit upwards and take her lips into a softer kiss. Sam cried into the kiss, and pulled back.
"No… this is not the right time… I want to… but I want you to want to."
Brooke was confused and surprised by Sam's words but didn't ask for an explanation. She nodded and stroked Sam's cheek with the back of hand. She stood up to leave before Sam pulled her back down.
"Stay with me."
Brooke nodded and slid under the covers with Sam. Neither girl cared about the clothes that would be crumpled, Brooke only cared about Sam and Sam wanted to feel something.
Brooke lay still, holding Sam to her until she felt the smaller girl fall asleep. She kissed her forehead softly, whispering into the darkness.
"I love you, Sam, I really do"
The sun shone through the window, hurting Sam's eyes as she opened them. She closed them and groaned. She snuggled into the body next to her and then she remembered. She remembered everything. She sat up and pulled herself out of bed. She glanced at Brooke's sleeping form. The blonde ex-cheerleader was a vision of beauty as she slept. 'She's beautiful all the time,' Sam thought with a smile. She went to the window and looked out to what seemed to her to be nothing. Everything had turned into nothing five days ago, everything except Brooke. She sat at her desk and pulled out a piece of paper and scribbled a short note on it. She then stood, and packed her backpack. She took the paper and laid it on the pillow beside the face she had allowed herself to dream about before… well, before this. She kissed Brooke's lips, a bare flutter of a kiss. She saw the blonde's lips turn upwards into a smile, and sighed with relief when she didn't waken. She picked up her bag and put her hand on the door handle. She turned to the sleeping beauty and whispered, "I love you too." She walked out without looking back. She walked away from the house, without looking back. She walked away from her life without looking back.