DISCLAIMER: The girls of the Law and Order franchise don't belong to me... and a good thing too or they might never get any work done. In any event, I make no money here: Dick Wolf and NBC get it all.
FANDOM: X-over: Law & Order, L&O: Special Victims Unit, L & O: Criminal Intent
PAIRINGS: Alex/Olivia & Serena/Alex(Eames! Not Cabot!)
FEEDBACK: We take all kinds (see below email)...but be forewarned: should you decide to Serena bash, I can't be held responsible for my actions...
NOTES: For purposes of clarity, Alex Eames (of Criminal Intent) is referred to as Eames (unless she's being spoken to directly). Lines in italics are lyrics borrowed from George's "Breathe In Now".
Thanks to Kait for braid inspiration and feedback and Lauren for beta'ing, George and general kicks in the ass.

Fear Inherent
By Groovy

"Liv...please...tell me this is one of your bad jokes."

" Oh thanks," Olivia answered, the sarcasm in her voice rooted in defensiveness.

Alex laughed, the sound high and clear, and instantly eradicating any trace of indignation Olivia's ego may have felt at the gibe. "I'm kidding hon', but really: where did this come from?"

The brunette sighed. "I just thought we could use a change."

"What's wrong with what we have now?"

"Nothing. It's just...we always stay in."

"You don't like staying in?"

Olivia looked up, noting the hurt in Alex's voice: only the young ADA's eyes didn't reflect that hurt. Rather they sparkled mischievously, enjoying that her tease had been effective. "It's okay. If you don't want to go we don't have to. It was just a suggestion," sighed Olivia.

"I didn't say that. It just seemed to come out of nowhere is all," Alex scrutinized the woman in front of her. "What is it? We go out."

"Yeah for dinner."

Alex wasn't following.

"Never mind." Olivia shook her head and turned away signaling the end of the conversation. But Alex wasn't ready to let it go quite yet. It wasn't often her favorite detective showed signs of opening up. She grabbed Olivia's arm as she turned away. Noting the reluctance with which the brunette turned back around and her hesitancy to make eye contact, Alex studied her, waiting patiently.

"I like staying in. And I enjoy going to dinner, but." Olivia trailed off.

"What? No go on, you were doing so well."

"The places we go out.sometimes I hate not being able to reach across the table and just take your hand. I know.it's silly just forget about it."

"No it's not silly, Liv. It's not. I understand. And I understand why you wanted to go out to this club tonight. It just seemed out of the blue. Especially considering the source."

"What does that mean?"

A smile tugged at the mouth of the blonde. "Nothing. I've just never seen you as the type to go clubbing."

"It's not clubbing. It's one club."

"Yeah? So where is this club then?"

"Are you saying you want to go?"

"I'm saying I'll try anything once."

"I'll remember you said that, Counselor," Olivia's tone turned playful, her deep brown eyes twinkling.

Alex smiled. "I'll deny that in open court, you know."

Olivia laughed as she watched what was most likely the most amazing woman she would ever know disappear into the next room in preparation for the evening's activities.


The cab dropped them off in front of what would have looked like a large warehouse save for the low bass thudding from the interior, the hint of lights through the high windows and the line of people moving into the building.

Olivia, whose own outfit didn't deviate much from the norm: dark blue jeans, a deep red button down shirt and of course, the black leather jacket she insisted on wearing to work almost every day, turned to look at Alex. "You know, for someone who doesn't go clubbing, you sure seem to have the wardrobe for it."

Alex looked down at her outfit. Clingy black pants made of some shiny fabric that hugged her slim figure perfectly and a dark silver gray sleeveless top made of a similar soft shiny fabric. And if that wasn't seemingly out of character enough for the usually power-suit clad prosecutor, her hair was pulled into two braids, one of each side of her head. "It's just some stuff I had from college."

"Mmhm and it's just been lying around for the last 8 or so years."

"Okay, law school, but that's the last time I wore it."

Olivia nodded, acting not quite convinced.

"Why don't we just go inside?" suggested Alex nodding towards the door.

Filing this information for future taunts, Olivia followed Alex into line. They were almost inside when the burly guy acting as bouncer grabbed Alex' arm.

"ID?" he asked.

Even though she had heard him, Alex couldn't help but ask, "Excuse me?"

"Need to see some ID."

"You're kidding."

"No." His expression said he was definitely not kidding.

"Why don't you just show him your license?" Olivia suggested.

Still reeling from the shock, Alex withdrew her license and handed it to the bouncer. He looked at it.

"You're 29?"

"Yes."

He looked at her and then back to the ID, apprehensively.

"What?" asked Alex. "It is real."

He didn't look completely convinced, but handed the license back to her and motioned for them to keep moving.

"Can you believe --- I haven't been carded in --- " Alex was too upset to finish a sentence.

"It's the braids, hon'."

Alex turned to look at Olivia. "You think this is amusing," she accused.

"I - " There was no point in arguing as was becoming impossible to keep the grin off her face. "Yeah kind of."

"Well you were a big help back there by the way."

"What did you want me to do: flash my badge?"

"Might have helped," Alex answered as they entered the club. "Next time remind me to pass on the braids. And make sure I bring my glasses."

Olivia's grin disappeared the moment they entered the club. "Uh...maybe this wasn't such a good idea."

Inside the room pulsated with flashing lights and heavy bass beats. Olivia turned as if to leave.

"Hey I don't think so," Alex grabbed her arm and pulled her further into the crowded room. "We just got here."

"Yeah I know. And I was wrong, all right? Let's just go."

"I think we should stay."

"What?"

Alex tore her eyes from the room to look at Olivia. "I want us to stay."

"Why?"

It was one of the rare moments when even Alexandra Cabot was confused. Her brow furrowed. "I don't know. But we're here. We might as well make a night of it."

Olivia took a breath as if to say something...but instead, she nodded once and allowed Alex to lead her the rest of the way in, maneuvering them around the dancing patrons.

Alex turned. "Why don't I get us something to drink?"

Olivia looked relieved. "That sounds good. I'm just gonna find the bathroom."

Alex nodded and watched Olivia head towards the other side of the room. Rapists, murderers, child molesters: those the detective could handle, but... a trendy nightclub with loud music, strobe lights and the close proximity of sweaty dancers...those Olivia needed a moment to deal with. Alex allowed herself a small smile before she turned to head towards the bar. She placed an order than leaned on her elbows on the bar turning her head to look at the dancers.

"Can I get a Miller and a cosmopolitan?" A familiar voice to her right made Alex look away from the dance floor to the source.

"Serena?"

The blond ADA looked away from the bartender to Alex.

"Cabot -- Alex. Hi."

"Hi."

"What, uh..."

"Yeah, I was just..."

Both women trailed off unsure which explanation should be offered. They were saved, thankfully, by the appearance of a petite redhead who poked her head around Serena's shoulder after wrapping her arms around the taller woman's waist.

"Hey, Re, did you get my--" Eames let her question go unfinished as her finely honed detective skills picked up on the strange tension sparking between the two blondes. "What's going on?"

Serena shook herself out of the uncomfortable reverie she had been frozen into at the rather inopportune moment her girlfriend had decided to publicly display affection. "Uh, Alex...this is...Alex."

It would almost be laughable except for the intense awkwardness of the situation. Eames, meanwhile, extended her hand to the other Alex who took it, a slight smile on her face doing no justice to the one she felt internally. She might have enjoyed the moment even more had her girlfriend not taken that moment to wander up to the group.

Fortunately (for Alex), Olivia was slightly more discreet than Eames had been. Even without the overtly affectionate contact, the significance of the older detective's presence was not lost on Serena.

"Hi" nodded Olivia who looked questioningly at Alex.

Alex in turn tried to suppress the goofy smile that threatened to break across her face. "Olivia, this is Serena. She works in the D.A.'s office."

Olivia extended her hand. "D.A.'s office? I'm surprised I haven't met you before."

"Olivia's a detective with the Manhattan Special Victim's Unit," Alex explained.

"Yeah I've only been with the D.A. for a year or so."

"Alex Eames," piped up the petite redhead. "Also a detective."

"Vice?" asked Olivia.

"Major case."

"Wow." Olivia was legitimately impressed.

Before they could continue all four drinks appeared.

Noting Olivia's drink of choice, Eames held up her own beer. "Nice to know I'm not the only one with a tough habit to break."

Chuckling, Olivia answered: "Actually I'm surprised. Someone usually orders me something I've never had before and never will again."

"Excuse me for trying to get you to experiment."

"Oh where have I heard that before?"

Alex opened her mouth to retaliate but decided against it, opting instead for a smile and shake of her head.

"Rena stopped trying to order me anything but the usual after the third date."

"All you cops are the same." Serena stated.

"I'll drink to that," agreed Alex.

Eames turned to Olivia. "I think we're being ganged up on here."

"I'd have to agree."

"Oh like you aren't more than capable of defending yourselves," said Serena.

"Not against certain...assistant...district...attorneys."

Eames was looking at Serena intently. "You wanna..." she nodded towards the center of the room.

"Yeah," answered Serena who then looked back to Alex and Olivia. "Watch our drinks?"

"Sure." Alex smiled and watched the other couple head out to dance.

"What..." started Olivia.

"I don't know."

"Did you..."

"Know? No. She works with Jack McCoy...I just assumed..."

Alex's gaze was still being held by the couple on the dance floor.

"I guess you assumed wrong."

"I guess so."


Nearly 3 hours and four rounds of drinks later Alex and Olivia were back in relatively the same spot as they had been when they'd first gotten to the club. Olivia was seated on one of the high bar chairs, her arms around Alex who leaned back against her, her head tilted slightly up, eyes focused somewhere faraway as she listened to whatever relatively unimportant thing Olivia was saying.

Their conversation was interrupted by the reappearance of Serena and the second Alex.

"You two gonna get back out there?" asked Eames while Serena ordered another set of drinks.

"I'm surprised Liv danced for as long as she did. Usually takes twice as many rounds to get her out there."

"Interesting...since it usually takes twice as many rounds to get you...happy." Liv teased.

Alex straightened up feigning offense. "I'm fine."

"Mmm. `Kay."

"So?" asked Alex.

"So what?"

"So are we gonna get back out there?"

"Oh Lex, I don't know..."

Alex turned to the other detective present. "Al, tell Olivia she should get back out there."

"Oh no, I'm not getting in the middle of this." Eames put her hands up before taking the drink Serena was offering her. "What is this?" she asked indicating the blue concoction Serena had handed her instead of the beer she was expecting.

"Just shut up and drink it. It's sweet," Serena answered.

"What like me?" Eames asked dryly.

"No like me," Serena countered.

"Oh you think so?"

"I thought you said she'd stopped ordering you anything but "the usual"," Olivia interjected.

"She had." Eames glared at Serena who's only answer was an "Oops."

"Liiiiiiv," Alex pleaded still wanting to dance.

"Maybe later," she answered.

Alex slumped against the bar, sticking her lower lip out and behaving in a very uncharacteristic manner for an ADA. Olivia, however, showed no signs of caving for the moment.

"Oh I'm a sucker for a pouter. C'mon." Serena put her drink down and held out her hand to Alex. Alex looked to Eames who shook her head half in bewilderment, but said, "Go for it."

Ignoring the look she was surely getting from Olivia, Alex accepted Serena's offer and soon found herself back out on the floor - this time with the blond ADA.

Back at the bar Olivia was trying her damnedest not to let the fact that her girlfriend was - was that dancing? - out on the floor with another gorgeous intelligent young woman who probably had a lot more in common with Alex than she did. She turned away towards the bar putting her drink down a little more roughly than she intended: It hit the counter with a loud bang.

"I didn't peg you as the insecure type." Eames looked over to her, feeling slightly more talkative than her usual self. The 4 beers had helped.

"I'm not." And she wasn't. With anything else that was. When it came to Alex... she couldn't help it. Olivia hated admitting she could be insecure about anything but for the moment, the idea of losing the younger woman caused a knot to form in Olivia's gut, leaving her feeling sick and empty. She knew better than to take anything at face value and she would never believe that she wouldn't one day pay for the happiness she had found with Alex. The question of what she had done to deserve the brilliant and stunning blond only crossed her mind every other hour or so.

"How long?" Eames turned around to face the same way Olivia was.

"5 months. You?"

"11 months, 2 weeks, 4 days and 7 hours," she paused. "But who's counting?"

Olivia smiled.

"Look Olivia...the questions, the anxieties, the fears.. You're a cop. You're trained not to trust anything. And the things you see everyday, the way people twist notions of love, the things

they do in the name of love - I can only imagine what that would do to one's own perspectives on relationships. I can't tell you how long you two will last. But I can tell you that from where I'm standing, you have nothing to worry about."

"And how would you know that?"

"Because I see the way she looks at you."

"And how is that?"

"It's the same way you look at her."

Olivia looked over to Eames who gave her a knowing nod and smile. Olivia looked back at the wall behind the bar to consider what she had just been told and the two women were silent.


Apoptygma Berserk's "Coma White" was exploding out of the speakers, but Alex didn't know that. What she did know was that the music was loud, the beat was strong and Serena Southerlyn was a damn good dancer. Between that, the dozen or so braids Serena's hair was pulled into and the orange sneakers on her feet, Alex was unsure if she'd ever be able to pass the other woman in the halls of the D.A.'s office without having to swallow a smile. Oh.and there was that small matter of the redheaded detective...who at the moment was speaking rather intently to her own detective. She was about to ask Serena her opinion on the situation when the beat turned frantic and dancing was replaced with grinding.


"You're missing the view." Eames swigged her beer.

"What?" Olivia turned to look out into the center of the club where Alex and Serena were..Olivia wasn't quite sure what they were doing. Nor was she sure how she felt about it. Part of her hated the sight. But the other part of her - the part that started somewhere in her stomach and extended downward -- was enjoying it far too much.

"What - " Olivia started to ask.

"It's called grinding...and yes it feels as good as it looks." Eames looked sideways at her, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "You should give it try."

"No that's all right."

"It's up to you.."

"It doesn't bother you?" Olivia asked after a moment.

"What? That she's out there with someone else?"

"Yeah."

Eames shook her head. "Nope. Doesn't matter who she dances with since I know who's she leaving with." She paused. "You don't think Alex would go home with someone else here, do you?'

"No," Olivia answered. "But she may take a look around and see what she's missing."

"Oh so what you're saying is she might decide to give up a serious relationship with someone she's obviously in love with for a relationship with someone she can grind with?"

"No. I..." Olivia couldn't explain the irrational fear she had when it came to Alex.

"You," Eames turned and put her hand over Olivia's to get the detective's attention. "Have nothing to worry about."

"When do they go away?" Olivia was referring to those fears. This was, after all, her first adult relationship. The first one to go past that casual dating stage. The first one to hit the 3 month mark. The first one that involved a certain level of trust. The first one in which Olivia had said the L-word and actually meant it. And the first one she was terrified of having end prematurely

Eames looked down, thinking. "They don't. But you learn to live with them. It's the downside of dating someone younger whom you perceive to be...how shall I say -- nearing perfection?"

Olivia smiled, thinking on the nearing perfection statement. It was strange how easily she found herself talking to this almost stranger. But this almost stranger had an insight into her that could only come from similar experience. And it was then that Olivia realized she was glad that Alex had made her stay.

The song ended, but for the first time that night, didn't morph into the next one immediately. The lights also halted their ceaseless barrage of flashing, dimming down to create a muted, almost surreal atmosphere.

Single notes began trickling out of the speakers...followed by whole chords as George's "Breathe in Now" began.

I see love and beauty all around
I also see the sadness that's embedded in your frown
.

Serena stepped back. "Why don't I --?"

"No." Alex grabbed the young blonde's arm. "I want to see what she does."

"Cabot, I don't think - "

"Will Alex be upset?"

"What?"

"Alex. Your girlfriend. Will she be upset if we.?"

"No, no. She'll be fine." Serena was aching to steal a look in that direction just to be sure. "But I think you're playing with fire here."

"Wouldn't be the first time," Alex paused. "Please?"

Serena sighed. "I still think this is a bad idea." She stepped back into Alex's personal space. Not that she wasn't already familiar with it after spending the last 10 minutes very much in it. But this time it was different. And they both knew it as they began moving to the slower tempo.

I just want to believe your truth..

"Okay, time to go." Olivia turned to take her jacket off the back of the chair.

"Olivia," Eames said grasping the detective's rather toned upper arm. "She's just baiting you. Looking to see what you'll do."

Olivia studied Eames for a moment, her deep brown eyes searching the other detective's for what she already knew to be true. She looked down. Then threw her jacket back on the chair, turning in the direction of the two blond attorneys.

You stand there but you do not cast a shadow
You walk away with every word you choose not to say

Alex felt Serena pull away and saw her signal with her eyes, but Alex had already felt the presence of the older woman.

"Why don't I..." Serena let her own suggestion go unfinished as she backed away from them to return to the bar.

Alex looked down feeling somewhat childish about what she'd just done.

"Sorry," she heard Olivia say softly.

Looking up, Alex offered, "No, I'm sorry."

A moment passed.

I just want to be happy for you

"You want to finish this dance or what?"

Alex smiled. It was the closest she would get to finding out what had been going on in the other woman's mind since she'd taken to the dance floor. She stepped into Olivia's arms, resisting the urge to sigh contentedly. Serena may have been an amazing dancer, but there was little question as to where she belonged.

Cause I only have one second, this minute today
I can't press rewind, and turn it back and call it now
And so this moment, I just have to sing out loud
And say I love and I like and breathe in now

They danced in silence for a few minutes, holding onto each other and the moment. Alex lifted her head from its place of rest on Olivia's shoulder. She nodded towards another spot across the room where Serena and the other Alex were lost in their own moment on the dance floor.

"They look good together."

"Yeah," Olivia agreed. "You and Serena looked pretty good too."

Alex snapped her head back around to look at Olivia.

"No I.I didn't mean it like that. I meant.it looked like you were having a good time."

Alex nodded once, letting her gaze return to Serena. "I was." She looked back at Olivia, her expression turning mischievous. "But it's not the only good time I'm planning on having tonight."

"That sounds like a proposition, Counselor."

"Did it?" Alex asked, feigning innocence

"Do you think it's time to -"

"Get out of here? Yeah," Alex answered a little more quickly than she'd intended to.

"Why don't I get our stuff and you can.thank Serena."

They parted - Olivia moving back to the bar and Alex towards the other couple. Catching sight of the blonde, they stopped dancing to face her.

"You headed out?" asked Serena.

"Yeah. Thanks for." Alex indicated the spot they had occupied on the floor earlier.

"I'll be right back," Eames interrupted before slipping away and heading for the other detective.

Serena smiled. "Anytime. Everything...resolved between you two?"

Alex nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah." She cleared her throat. "I'm sorry about putting you in the middle there. It was.immature."

"Please...I know all about the games that get played."

"Does that mean they stop?"

"Not entirely. But I have a feeling they may become less frequent." Serena indicated their counterparts who were engaged in another conversation over at the bar.

"Why do you suppose they've been talking about all night?" asked Alex.

"Not a clue. But I think it's safe to say it wasn't proper Mirandizing technique."


"So all's well?"

Olivia turned to see the petite detective approaching her.

"Yeah. Just the usual...stupid stuff, you know."

Eames nodded. "You could have worse problems. Bigger fights."

"Oh we do. But it tends to fall under the pretext of work."

"I could never decide whether it was fortunate Re and I don't work together. We see each other less but we don't have to juggle the whole professional versus personal dynamic."

"It's not easy, I'll admit that. Although," Olivia paused. "Alex seems to have no problem with it."

"I'm sure she has more difficulty than she lets on."

Olivia paused before speaking. "Thank you."

Eames smiled. "Thank you. It's not every day I meet someone else with similar...legal issues."

"What legal issues?" Serena asked appearing next to Eames.

"Oh nothing. Don't worry about it."

Before Serena could pursue it, Olivia turned to Alex asking: "All set?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Olivia turned back to Serena and Eames who were looking as though they were ready to leave for the same reasons as they were, said "We'll see you two. Thanks again."

"Yeah. Hope we can do it again sometime. It's been...enlightening. See you Monday, Cabot."

Alex smiled. The women finished saying their good-byes and within moments Alex and Olivia found themselves once again in the real world.

"That was interesting." Olivia commented as their cab pulled away from the club.

"Glad we stayed?"

The brunette thought for a moment before answering: "Yeah. I am." She slipped an arm around Alex who responded by nestling closer to her.

"So next time you'll dance some more?"

"I don't know," Olivia answered. "I was kind of enjoying watching there."

Alex sat up. "You what?"

Now it was Olivia's turn to feign innocence. "Nothing."

Alex shook her head, but allowed Olivia to pull her back into her arms. "Sometimes I just don't know about you, Detective Benson."

"And most of the time," Olivia murmured. "I just don't know about you Counselor."

I believe in for today
I just want to know that you're okay
`Cause I believe in breathing for today
I just want to know that you're okay...

The End

Return to Law & Order Fiction

Return to Main Page