DISCLAIMER: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are property of NBC and Dick Wolf.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you Ella for reminding me, kinda, that I hadn't finished this. Also for the brainstorming work. Ok, this is obviously about first impressions, about how some change and some don't. I have to say that I have discovered that certain first impressions just evolve. I hope you enjoy it. All feedback, bar flames, is welcome.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

First Impressions

"This is your new ADA, Alexandra Cabot."

She's hot, Olivia thought.


"Congratulations, Counselor. You won you're first case."

She's good, Olivia thought.


"Do you think she'll make it?"

"I hope so Alex, I hope so."

She really cares, Olivia thought.

About a year later Olivia and Alex had become close friends. They spent much of their time off work together, going to the movies, trying out new coffee shops, jogging through the park. Olivia had gradually liked Alex more and more. She was happy to remain Alex's friend, but the closer they got the harder it was for Olivia to hide what she was feeling.

Sometimes Olivia got the wild idea that Alex felt the same. There would be a glance, a touch, a certain tone. When these special moments occurred Olivia just dismissed them as fancy of her imagination. A very good, but wishful fancy. She lifted her phone from her belt and held it in her hand.

"I want to hug you. I want to tell you how much you mean to me. I want to tell you how much I have I come to love you. Love you… weird… I never thought I could say those words to another person, apart from my mother." Olivia pressed the 'call' button on her cell phone.


"Hey Alex! Its Olivia. Are we still on for tonight?" Olivia sounded more upbeat than she usually was.

"Of course! I'm just finishing up my paperwork now." Alex cheered up once she heard Olivia's voice, glad it wasn't another work related call.

"Cool. I'll see you at 7."

"Ok. Bye."

"Bye Alex." Olivia pressed 'end'. She breathed out deeply. "So much for telling you how I feel…"

Olivia stood from her couch. She had things to do before tonight. She had to cook roast lamb with her secret gravy, shower, tidy her apartment and make herself presentable. Not necessarily in that order. She rubbed her hands together and got started.

3 hours later Olivia sat on her couch as she had just finished getting ready. She sat in silence looking between the clock next to the kitchen doorway and the apartment door. Her right knee bounced up and down in anticipation.

She went over what she would say and do in her head for the umpteenth time. Hi, come on in, make yourself at home… Nah, that sounds stupid… Hi, how was work?… No! I don't want to talk about work! Olivia sighed in defeat. I'll just wing it like always…

Olivia jumped when she heard the long awaited knock at the door. She got up and breathed deeply. Here goes… She strolled over to the door and opened it in a calm manner.

Alex stood on the other side of the threshold smiling. She was holding a plastic bag with some DVDs and a bottle of white wine in the other. She was wearing tight faded blue denim jeans and a mauve button-up shirt. Nice, Olivia thought.

"Hi!" Olivia said the only thing that she agreed on.

"Hi. How was your day off?"

"Great. Come on in." Olivia held her arm out welcoming Alex into her apartment.

Alex stepped past Olivia and into the living room. "Thanks."

"Want me to pour you a glass?"

"Sure." Alex handed Olivia the bottle of wine. She then put the bag on the table between the couch and TV.

The two women spent the next two hours watching 'Suddenly 30', staring Jennifer Garner, while they ate Olivia's delicious roast lamb then sat talking about some of the other movies Alex had brought.

"Let's watch the one you picked… ah… Van Helsing was it?" Olivia said.

Alex shook her head. "Legally Blonde would be fine."

"I've seen it a hundred times. I haven't seen Van Helsing yet."

Alex thought a moment. She really did love watching Van Helsing… and they had both seen Legally Blonde. "How about we watch Van Helsing then Legally Blonde?"

"Deal." Olivia held out her and hand which was taken up by Alex. "Diplomatic as usual Counselor."

Taking back her hand Alex tried to look serious. "Thank you Detective. Just trying to keep both parties happy."

Olivia chuckled. "Oh I'm happy alright."

"Good." Alex picked up the DVD case in front of her and opened it up. She was about to put it in Olivia's DVD player when her phone started ringing in her coat pocket. "Shit! I thought I turned that off!"

Olivia groaned inside. All she wanted was a night alone with her best friend. A friend she happened to be in love with, but a friend none the less. She watched Alex put the DVD in quickly and rise to get her phone.

"Cabot." Alex was so not happy for the interruption and was going to let whoever this is know it.

"Lex? Is that you?" a sophisticated male voice spoke.

"Excuse me?" Alex hadn't been called that since her early college days. "Who is this?"

"Don't you recognize the voice Lex? It's me, Bob!"

"Oh my god. Bob?" Alex hadn't heard his name since her first year of college, quite a long time ago.

"The one and only!"

"Wow. How are you?" Alex looked wide-eyed at Olivia's curious face. She mouthed the words 'ex-boyfriend'. She normally would have questioned Olivia's slight frown right away, but decided to actually listen to what Bob was saying.

"… well, actually not good. I'm in a bit of a pickle that I need your help with."

"What's wrong?"

Olivia sat on the floor trying to patient as she watched Alex talk to her long lost boyfriend. So much for their night together…

"You what!?!"

"Bob. You have to be kidding me! Drugs! How did you get messed up with drugs?" Alex started to pace the room. Olivia could tell their happy night was ruined.

"Drug lord? You're a drug lord? Oh my god." Alex felt feint.

Olivia stood up when she saw Alex sway unsteadily. She walked over to her and laid her hand on the small of Alex's back. Alex spun around and looked at her alarmed for a moment. Olivia took a step back, not wanting to be intrusive.

"Look Bob. I can't help you. You broke the law and must face the consequences."

"But Lex, I need your help. Can you please be my lawyer?"

"No Bob. I can't. I'm sorry, but I just can't help you. And don't you dare 'But Lex' me. I'm through with that."

Olivia kept her eyes on Alex. She was very concern with what she heard. A drug lord, Alex's ex, wants her help. She had a very bad feeling about this. She was shocked when Alex started laughing.

"Bob, promising me the best sex in my life won't make me help you." Alex looked amusingly at Olivia who didn't know what to think. "Why not? Because I'm already involved with someone."

Alex heard the same words through both her ears. "You are?"

Alex blushed and turned away from Olivia. "I can't help you Bob. Goodbye."

Alex hung up her phone and walked back to the coat rack near Olivia's front door. She switched it off and slid it into the right pocket of her coat. When she turned back to Olivia she saw a face full of confusion and… was that hurt?

"It's ok. You don't have to tell me. Let's watch the movie." Olivia plonked herself into the corner of her lounge in a seemingly uncomfortable position and pressed play.

Alex stood the looking at Olivia for a moment but when the movie started she sat on the opposite end of the lounge and resigned herself to breaking through Olivia's silence later. Maybe then she might have the courage to tell Olivia how she felt.

3 days later and neither of the women had spoken much to each other. It wasn't to lack of trying on either side. Alex tried to, Olivia tried not to. Olivia had tried to avoid all personal contact with her, canceling their lunch dates for the rest of the week, and maybe even next week too. 'I'm swamped with work, you know how it is.' just didn't convince Alex.

Alex was going to ambush Olivia tonight, make her talk to her. This was getting ridiculous. What was Olivia's problem? Alex just didn't understand.

Meanwhile at the 16th precinct Olivia walked out of the interview room steamed up. She had nearly flogged the suspect after he asked if she had been 'getting any' lately. Elliot had noticed her bad mood increase over the last few days and after her walking out of an interrogation, the time had come to face her about it.

"Olivia!" Elliot drew her attention.

She swung around to face him. "What?!?"

"What is your problem?" He wasn't going to back down.


"Bullshit Liv! You've been in a bad mood for days, now you walk out coz he asked if you were getting any. You've never done that before, so what's up?"

Olivia glared at him for a moment. She thought about punching him then realized her was her partner, her friend. It wasn't his fault Alex was seeing someone. Maybe she should tell him, he might know what to do. Although, he might laugh at her for liking Alex, the usually icy ADA. Icy around everyone else but her…

Olivia gave in. "I like someone… they told one of their exes that they were with someone, but I had no idea…"

"That it was you?"

"No, that she was with someone else…"


"Ummm, surprise?" Olivia hadn't meant to let that slip.

"Right. Ok. Have you told her how you feel?"

"God no!"

"Why not?"

"Because… because… I just can't…"

"Why not?" Elliot had a hunch. "Alex is your friend, she won't leave you just coz you like her."

"But she…" Oh, shit. "What did you say?"

Elliot grinned. Gotcha! "Alex won't leave you because of how you feel."

"I didn't say it was Alex!"

"Liv, you didn't need to."

"But... but…" Olivia was tired from tossing and turning all night. She didn't have enough energy to argue with him.

"Just tell her."

Olivia suddenly felt vulnerable and could only whisper. "I'm scared Elliot…"

"I know. But you face the vilest of perps every day, surely you can just say a few simple words to your friend."

"Throw me a perp any day." Olivia chuckled. "It'll be easier, I swear."

"Liv? Ask her out tonight, tell her."

Olivia just looked at him.

"Or I'll hint it in a very non-subtle way."

"You wouldn't!"

"I would if it meant you getting back to your old self."

Olivia glared at him. She hadn't changed, she was still her old self… or was she? She had walked out of the interview room…

"Fine…" Olivia grumbled.

Knock, Knock.

"Alex, where the hell are you?" Olivia was getting impatient. Alex's assistant said she had left early.

Knock, Knock.

"Liv, where are you?" Alex was disappointed. She thought Olivia would be home since Cragen informed her that Liv left early.

Should I ring her? See where she is? No, it's too desperate. Wait, maybe I should. Olivia felt like putting her fist through a wall. What the hell?

"Olivia, you had better answer your phone today!" As Alex was getting her phone from her purse she was startled as it started ringing. "Speak of the devil…"

Alex pressed the answer button. "Hey. I was just going to call you."

"You were?"

"Yes. I was wondering where you were?"

"That's what I rang to ask you!"



"That's strange." Alex laughed. This was certainly in ice breaker.

"Yeah." Alex could just see the detective scratch the back her of her neck. "So, where are you?"

"At your apartment actually."

"You're kidding me?"

"Not at all. Where are you?"

"At your apartment."

"Is that so?"


"Well Detective. We seem to have a bit of a predicament."

"One that definitely needs solving."

"I agree. What do you suggest?"

"Umm…" Olivia couldn't think of a 'what next'. She had talked to Alex and she didn't seem angry at her. So far so good

"Stay there. I'll be right over."

"Um, ok."

"See you soon."

"Bye." Olivia hung up. Holy shit… this is really happening… Can I really tell her how I feel?

Olivia heard a nose down the hall and saw a man come from the stair well. He looked straight at her and checked something in his left hand. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a Stanley knife. You have got to be kidding me!

She whipped out her phone and pressed speed dial. "Elliot? Get to Alex's now!"

Olivia started to back away as the brute man that approached her cautiously. He obviously was targeting her. She peered at his left hand and could just make out a photo of her and Alex. It was taken on the steps of the courthouse yesterday just before Olivia had made an excuse to run off.

"Can I help you?" Olivia asked, trying in vain to make light of this situation.

"Yeah, shut up and die bitch."

"Now, now. No need to be like that." Shit! Olivia's back hit the wall behind her.

"The Boss knows it was you who was keeping his girl from helping him. I'm gonna make you pay!"

"What? I think you're mistaken. I don't know who you're talking about!"

"Don't lie to me bitch! The Boss says that you must die so Lexa will help him out."

"What?" Olivia couldn't believe what she was hearing; surely he couldn't mean that she and Alex were…

Olivia didn't realize how close he was till it was too late. He thrust the knife into her abdomen. Olivia clasped her bleeding wound and kneed him in the groin. He slashed at her again but she blocked it with her left arm. The knife sliced across her forearm.

"Bleed out you cow!" He cursed before he ran off to the stairwell.

Olivia looked down at her stomach and her blood-soaked clothes. She was losing a lot of blood, fast.

'This is gonna hurt in the morning…" she whispered before everything went black.



"Liv? Look at me sweetie."

"Alex?" Olivia's voice was hoarse.

"I'm here."

Olivia managed to open her eyes slowly. All she could see was white until she focused on a darker blur to her right. The figure leaned towards her and placed a kiss on Olivia's forehead. Olivia smiled, Alex really does care!

"How long have I been out?"

Alex checked her watch. "13 hours, 10 minutes and 23 seconds."

"That all?" Olivia coughed.

"Olivia. You really scared me."

"I'm sorry. It wasn't like I planned to get stabbed on your doorstep."

"I know." Alex became cleared in Olivia's vision as Alex whispered. "I was really scared..."

"So was I…" Olivia saw a tear run down Alex's cheek. "Please don't cry. I'm fine, never been better!"



Alex sighed and bowed her head. When she looked up she locked eyes with Olivia and tried to convey everything she felt for the brown-eyed detective. Olivia held her gaze so Alex decided that it was now or never. She started to lean in…

"It was your ex that sent the thug after me." Olivia really did have bad timing.


"The guy said something about killing me so Lexa would help his boss."

"That's what Bob used to call me… It was a cute first impression, but that changed once he cheated on me." Alex frowned. "How would killing you make me help him? It would only make me want to kill him."

"He had a crazy notion that you and I were… together."

"Would it really be that bad?"

Olivia was shocked at Alex's question. Think quick Liv… "If a stabbing was the worst that could happen? Not at all."


"I…" They both began at the same time. This made them both smile.

"Knock knock!" Elliot poked his head in the door. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Alex and Olivia both felt like glaring at him but didn't have the energy to. Olivia was recovering from a stab wound and Alex had been awake all night watching over her.

"Hey there partner. You know you scared the shit out of me." Elliot walked over to the two women and put a vase with flowers on the table beside the bed.

Olivia smiled and glanced at Alex who smiled back. "Yeah, sorry about that. I guess someone was jealous."

"Of what?" Elliot was glad to see his friend alive.

Olivia grinned. "That's exactly what I want to find out about."

Alex looked shocked at Olivia a moment then realized what she meant.

"Well." Elliot noticing the exchange of glances between the two. "I think I might go and tells the guys you're ok and, ummm, go."

Elliot stood and waved as he walked out, shutting the door behind him. Alex waved back but never took her eyes off Olivia. When Olivia turned back to Alex she was met with intense blue eyes.

"So...?" Olivia said.

Alex wasn't going to waste any more time. She leant over Olivia until her face was an inch away. Olivia made no move in protest so Alex leaned forward and pressed her lips to Olivia's. A hand snaked around the back of her neck as Olivia deepened the kiss.

"Ready to go?"

"That's the understatement of the millennium!" Olivia exclaimed as she did up the last button on her blouse.

"Good. Because I can't wait to get you home." Alex grinned.

"You know they said no physical strain on my body for at least a month."

"I had no intention of letting you do physical activities."

"Damn. And there I was thinking I could ignore the doctor's orders, again." Olivia grinned knowingly at Alex as she passed her bag over at the request of the blonde.

"That was different. I was…" Alex thought for a fitting word as they walked out of the room Olivia was staying in. "helping you shower."

"Mhmm. That's what they all say!"

Alex looked mock shock. "How many people have helped you shower Detective?"

Olivia grinned. "You got a warrant for that info Counselor?"

"I can get one. All I need is baby oil and/or whipped cream."

Olivia's eyes widened. "Hold that thought."

Olivia signed the release forms and was glad to be able to walk out at last. She would be going home, and Alex would be coming too. The hospital only agreed to Olivia's release on the condition that Alex stays with her and cares for her every need. Olivia planned to take full advantage of the wide scope. So did Alex for that matter.

The End

Return to Law & Order Fiction

Return to Main Page