DISCLAIMER: No profit is intended in the writing of this story. Stargate – SG1 and its characters are the property of Metro Goldwyn Mayer.
BETA: Athaena28. Thank you very much. It was my first time with you, too.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
The First Time
By Olli
Oh God! I will do it! I will do it with Sam! Sam and I, we will... Sam and I...! For the first time in my life I will...! And I will do it with Sam! Naturally with Sam! Who else? There is no one in the whole world I trust like I trust Sam. Since the first day I met her, at Cheyenne Mountain, I knew, if I'd ever do it, it would be with her! And today we will…
My hands are already trembling, I am so nervous. How will it be? How does it feel? Sam said there is nothing comparable. It is... it is indescribable... so marvellous and exciting… again and again, each time she's done it. She had a dreamy look on her face as she described her first time. I was fascinated, frightened, and jealous. Her thoughts, her feelings her reactions… I knew I wanted that experience and to hell with the consequences! I said as much to Sam. She laughed, took my hand and promised to do it one day with me! She promised!
And now it was time. Sam called the infirmary a few minutes ago. I was in my office catching up on some paperwork. She said today was the day she would do it with me. My heart jumped; there were butterflies in my stomach. It was part nervousness, part fear, and part expectations. What if...? No! No 'if'. I will do it and I will not chicken out.
I stand in front of my locker and undress. I always change clothes before I leave the Mountain. I try to calm my nerves by following a routine. The white coat goes on its hanger, the hanger on the rail on the left side of the locker. It's always the same. I then slip off my shoes and place them under the coat, that's where they always stand. My uniform skirt follows. Next, the uniform blouse, it goes on its hanger directly beside the white coat. Finally, I fold the tights and put them in the locker. I see my hands trembling. I clench them into fists so none of the other women in the locker room notices anything. I am Dr. Janet Fraiser. I am cool and professional. No one must know I am also a human being with needs, fears and... feelings. I reach for the trousers and put them on, followed by my blouse, jacket and shoes. I close the locker and sling my bag over my shoulder. I nod to three other women and leave the locker room.
Slowly I walk down the hallway. I try to be cool and certain. At last, I'm Chief Medical Officer of Stargate Command. I run only if an emergency occurs; that is professional. However, there is no emergency and if I'd run down the hallway I'd stick out like a multi-coloured dog. No, I have to be patient... only a few minutes more and then...
Damn! Everyone is grinning at me! Everyone seems to know! But how? From whom? Yes, of course, it was my own fault. Why couldn't I simply hold my tongue? Why had I spoken with Lieutenant Nancy Cunningham? In a moment of weakness, I had confided in the biggest gossip at the whole SGC! Well, OK. Today Sam and I will… and... and tomorrow would be tomorrow.
Finally, I reach the door. I've been here often but have never taken this last step until today! Today will be the day! There she stands! God! Sam looks so stunning. She had waited for me, promising to explain everything. She said I'd get the most enjoyment out of it that way. I walk towards her, her gold-blond hair flying in all directions, as if she hadn't brushed it after her shower. Her blue eyes sparkle in anticipation and expectation. And her smile! God! That smile, the white teeth flashing between their red lips! Simply irresistible! I smile back -- shy and uncertain; her smile grows wider. I step towards her and stare in fascination. I'd seen it before but never had I been so close to it. I look at it and then at Sam. She nods and I answer the gesture. She puts her hand on my shoulder and squeezes it encouragingly; the fear and nervousness are gone. In their place remain only expectation, anticipation and trust. Suddenly, I know it will be great. I tighten my shoulders and straighten up. Yes, I will do it. I will not back off, nor will I hesitate, because Sam is with me.
Sam's hand remains on my shoulder as we turn and together we take the last step. Together we go into a new, exciting world. I do it for the first time in my life.
I go through the Stargate!
The End