DISCLAIMER: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and its characters are the propert of James Cameron and Fox. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: A companion piece of sorts to Five Things Cameron Processed. Here’s the rest of your wish, zennie, five perfect drabbles from Sarah's POV.
A very special thanks to ralst for the beta, the title, and the words of encouragement.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Five Things Sarah Muddled Over
By Ann
Suspicion
To say Sarah was surprised to discover the latest terminator was female would be an understatement. She wasn't really sure why she'd been taken in by the soft features of such a deadly machine. After all, it was just a covering – a layer of skin to disguise the metal endoskeleton. Why should it matter if the terminator was pleasing to her eyes? Although, it'd briefly crossed her mind that perhaps her John of the future had purposely chosen to send Cameron to her, but she'd discounted the idea as idiotic. He couldn't have possibly known her sexual preference, could he?
Curiosity
Sarah found herself curious about Cameron's thirst for knowledge. She asked so many questions, it made Sarah's head spin trying to keep up, but it was when the scope of the questions changed that the lines became blurred in Sarah's mind. She could no longer count the number of times she'd forgotten Cameron was merely a machine, trying its best to learn about humans so that it could fit it. Instead, she saw Cameron as flesh and bones – a beautiful young woman, desperately seeking to understand life and all it entailed. Sarah wanted to be the one to show her.
Clarity
Elbow deep in blood that flowed from Derek's wound, Sarah stared into Charley's eyes and wordlessly pleaded for him to save John's uncle. With the stench of imminent death lingering in the air, she took a moment to watch Charley work, her mind straying to a place far, far away. She hadn't loved Charley. He was just a nice man who happened to fit the bill at the time. She'd made sure to choose someone she wouldn't become emotionally involved with. She couldn't afford to lose sight of the mission for her own personal gain. She hadn't counted on Cameron.
Denial
Sarah tried everything she could think of to rid her less than 'step-daughter-like' thoughts of Cameron: sarcasm, silence, coldness - words and looks, - and even avoidance. Nothing worked. It didn't matter what she said or did, Cameron stood firm and usually by her side. She didn't run off and pout like Derek or feel the need to have her own space like John. No, Cameron took whatever Sarah threw at her without so much of a blink, standing toe-to-toe or hip-to-hip with Sarah depending on what the circumstances called for. Ignoring her conflicting feelings toward Cameron had become impossible.
Inevitability
Lying on her side, Sarah stared at the far wall and attempted to employ a meditation technique she'd read about last month. The concept sounded quite easy – concentrate on a large space and slowly clear all thoughts while making the focus area smaller and smaller until one's mind was completely empty. Sleep was guaranteed to follow soon afterward, but it had yet to work for Sarah and she knew why. Tired of fighting the inevitable, Sarah rolled over and held out her hand in invitation. Cameron hesitated for only a moment, before closing the door and moving toward her destiny.
The End