DISCLAIMER: Guiding Light and its characters are the property of Proctor & Gamble. No infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Five Times Natalia Rivera Said 'Fuck'
A ten years old, slightly chubby Natalia screamed at the neighborhood kids, Jenny and Jorge, from the porch "Well...well, shut up fuckers!"
Suddenly, Mrs. Rivera appeared at the doorway and firmly yet calmly said, "Natalia Ruth Rivera, come inside NOW."
Natalia's eyes widened at being caught swearing but she followed her mother's orders and came right in and sat at the kitchen table.
"Now, Natalia, what have your Papa and I told you about that sort of language?"
Natalia sighed, "It's not proper for a young lady...but, but Mama they were calling me 'Fat Nat'. And..."
"Nu-hu...what did Jesus say about when people are mean to you?"
"I'm supposed to turn the other cheek," said a defeated Natalia.
"Alright, you can either have a punishment from me or wait until your Papa comes home from work. You choose."
Natalia quickly replied, "I'll do what you want, Mama." She didn't want her Papa's discipline as that would usually mean his belt and her behind.
"Okay, I want you to sweep the kitchen floor after supper tonight and say ten Hail Mary's for your punishment."
Natalia never really understood why her Mama always insisted on hard, manual labor and repetitive prayers as atonement for her sins until she was on the floor of the kitchen in the farmhouse, hoping to scrub her transgressions with Frank away and chanting 'forgive me, Father' over and over in her head.
After many months of being pregnant, Natalia was finally here, finally giving birth. She was alone, unmarried, and sixteen. The discomfort of pregnancy was nothing compared to the pain of childbirth.
Natalia pushed one last time and winced, "Ow...Fuck."
"Oh honey, it's alright. It's all over. Here's your beautiful baby," said the nurse as she handed Natalia a dark-haired and dark-eyed bundle with ten little fingers and ten stubby toes.
"What's his name?"
"Raphael," said an awe-struck Natalia as she looked at her child's face. And, in that moment, all the hurt and fear and doubt of the last nine months was finally worth it. Because here was her son, her sweet boy. He was the spitting image of Nicky and the result of their love.
"I don't need you to treat me like a damn child," yelled Olivia, throwing her bottles of medication on the ground. Olivia Spencer usually was loud, rash, and a pain in the ass, but she was even more so after her heart transplant. Natalia knew most of her anger came from the grief and guilt caused by Gus' death. But, sometimes Natalia just had enough of the abuse.
"Well, fuck you, bitch," muttered Natalia under her breath.
"What was that?" glared the hotelier at the younger woman.
"Olivia, I said 'I have a vacuuming itch'," answered Natalia.
Olivia laughed bitterly, "Ah, I see. Maybe you'll actually do what I pay you for then, Natalia."
Natalia plastered on a fake smile as she went to get the vacuum to clean up the pills off the floor. She sure hoped she was earning wings for an angel in Heaven, because Natalia seemed to be dealing with the devil herself.
Sitting in the pew at the church, Natalia was praying for a miracle. Just before her and Olivia were going to go to the Bauer BBQ and finally start their life together, a shocked Natalia found out that she was pregnant with Frank Cooper's child. As if she was sixteen again, she was afraid and unmarried. Unlike when she was pregnant with Rafe, though, she was neither poor nor alone. She had a good home and a good paying job. Most importantly, she had Olivia. She smiled at the thought.
But, for how long? Would Olivia try to get her to marry Frank again? Would Frank let her raise this child with Olivia without much interference? How did I get into this fucking mess? Sorry, God, I'm just so confused as to what you want me to do. I thought I was doing what you wanted me to do, but now I'm not so sure. So many questions and so few answers rattled in Natalia's mind. If I never denied my feelings for Olivia. If I never slept with Frank. If I never was pregnant at all. Well...I could get an...No!
That fleeting thought scared Natalia more than anything. That moment of weakness was selfish and sinful. A child is a blessing, a life to be nurtured.
Who am I?
And, with that, Natalia knew she had to leave, had to get away and clear her mind and free her soul. She had to break down everything she was, to build it back up, stronger and more sure than before. For her, for Olivia, for them. However, Natalia didn't have any idea that her cross to carry, her burden to bare would break Olivia's back, crush her soul, and sadden her heart while she was gone.
Love and lust. Natalia hadn't really had those experiences with sex before. She had felt obligation and gratitude with the two men she had slept with in her life. With Frank, she felt like she was supposed to sleep with him. They were sort of dating after all; it's just what you did. Right? And, she was so grateful for all the help he had given her and Rafe when Gus died. She had wanted to repay him the favor when his brother died. He was such a good man.
Even with Gus, Natalia felt that it was her wifely duty to submit to his desires of the flesh. And, as a mother, she felt like she had to sleep with him in order to give Rafe, and on some level herself, the picture perfect ideal of a family that she had spent most of her life dreaming about and telling Rafe about. Although it wasn't easy, Gus helped her and Rafe once they came to Springfield. He was such a good man.
It wasn't until she felt, from the tips of her toes and fingers down into the depths of her soul, with the love of a good woman, what sex could truly be about. Olivia Spencer, proud, loud, intoxicating, infuriating, the tender, mender of Natalia's heart, had shown her that sex could be loving and lustful. Natalia could not only give pleasure to another, but she could receive it as well. Sex. It was a point that Natalia had wanted to get to with Olivia but never thought she would, especially in the aftermath of her leaving town for a month, without a word and without a trace. But, now that they were there? It was wonderful, beautiful, breathtaking, and just felt so right.
Natalia could feel love pulsating through her veins, from her heart and then crying out to the world. Her love would fly about the room, like a superhero, thrashing and crashing everything in and around them into Olivia. Then, it would flow through Olivia's veins into her transformed heart. They would lie together, their words of love enveloping them in a caress of blissful slumber. Olivia could certainly be a saint in bed, making Natalia feel cherished and adored, their lovemaking often sweet and romantic.
However, Natalia sometimes liked the devil inside Olivia to come out and play. The sensual sinner. And, when it did? When Olivia's green eyes filled with dark, dirty desire and her soft hands set off sparks all over Natalia's writhing body and her tongue conducted a symphony of luscious lust from Natalia's warm, wet mouth to her voluptuous breasts to her taut stomach to the most intimate part of her that was shaking and aching with need and want? What happened then?
"Oh...my...god...fuck...so good...shit...harder, faster...Olivia...don't stop, never stop!"
These words would escape from Natalia's swollen, wet, and trembling lips as moans and groans and gasps and rasps of pure pleasure, of lustful loving in always sticky and sweaty sex. Because Natalia Rivera loved being fucked by Olivia freakin' Spencer, damn good woman in and out of bed.
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