Forgotten Conscience
Two roads, one path
By Christopher Andrews


Chapter 26
Deconstructing Faith

Faith's POV

"Are you sure we should be doing this, I mean, what if they wanna put some sort of mind control chip in my head or something?"

We're walking through the campus together to go see this Riley guy she was telling me about. She chuckles at me.


"It's nothing."

She chuckles again.

"What's so funny?"

She could at least let me in on the joke.

"Well there's this vampire who lives in town, a real badass evil one. Goes by the name of Spike…"


"What kind of stupid name is Spike?"

"Yeah I know but he sorta earned it by torturing people with railroad spikes."

"And this is funny?"

"Well no see, he's harmless now. The initiative put a chip in his head and now he can't hurt anyone…"

I stop in my tracks.

"Wait, you mean the same initiative that I'm about to let poke and prod me with all sorts of gizmos and gadgets? What the hell are you thinking?"

She stops and turns to look at me.

"Faith it'll be okay. Riley said on the phone that he's been put in charge of the experiment so they won't do anything to you unless he authorizes it."

Experiments… Wow that makes me feel so much better about it.

"Well what makes you think we can trust this Riley guy any more than this initiative thing?"

I start walking with her again.

"I trust him… I wouldn't be with him if I couldn't."

Be with him? They're involved with each other? She didn't tell me about that.

"Well if you can trust him then I can trust him."

She smiles at me.


We turn around a corner and I see a big frat house.

If she's with him then what was that last night? I've been thinking about what happened since she left this morning, there was something there between us. I could feel her breath get deeper with every breath. I half expected her to jump my bones if I touched her. I expected her? When did this happen? Come to think of it… she wasn't the only one with a rapid heartbeat when we were inches from each other. Something about the way she was looking at me made all my blood run south. But she says she's with this Riley guy, and that she trusts him.

We walk into the house and she leads me upstairs.

If she can trust him then I guess I can trust him too, because I trust her.

She knocks on one of the doors. Someone opens it. I guess this must be Riley.



"Riley this is Faith, Faith this is Riley."


I put out my hand.

"Hi, how are you?"

What kind of question is that?

He takes my hand and shakes it.

"I have amnesia."

"Right, how's that working out for ya?"

What a weak handshake.

I look over at Buffy.

What the hell does she see in this guy?

"Maybe we should just get down to business."

"You're right Buffy."

We move out of his way and he starts toward the stairs. We follow him down the stairs.

"So what's the problem?"

I look over at Buffy as we reach the bottom of the stairs and turn down a hall. She nudges me.

"Well I… I keep having these panic attacks. I guess that's the best way to put it. When something happens to upset me, I blow up. I start attacking everything that moves. I can't stop myself, I want to but I can't."

"Can you think of anything the incidents have in common?"

BUFFY! Every time I attacked someone she was either around or I had that weird dream about her. They have Buffy in common... tell them, they can help you if you tell them.

"I'm not sure… everything sorta becomes a blur when I snap."

"Well we'll have to figure out what sets you off so that Buffy doesn't do anything to set you off and gets hurt… or worse."

That plan sorta back fires since Buffy sorta is the trigger.

Buffy puts her hand out to stop me as she stops herself.

Why have we stopped in front of this mirror?

"What's up?"

"We're here."

"We're where?"

"The initiative… we're here."

It's a mirror? What kind of secret organization is a mirror?

I hear a buzzing noise coming form behind the mirror and then a laser scans Riley. The mirror gives way and an elevator door appears.

Okay… I still think its lame.

"Let's go."

We step into the elevator.

"Riley Finn."

"Voice authorization confirmed, going down."

The elevator starts going down.

We're going down into a pit with no way to escape with a group of government agents bent on controlling people like me. I feel so safe.

I look over at Buffy. She looks back and smiles. All of the sudden, I feel better. She turns her head and stares at the elevator doors. I look up at Riley and he's looking back at me.

I don't think he likes me very much. The look on his face just seems to say 'go away'. He must really care about Buffy to help me without knowing anything about me.

The elevator stops and the doors open. We walk down the hall with rooms on either side. It's all white and sterile. We stop at a room on the left.

"Buffy you can wait here in this chair."

"She's not coming in?"

"It's okay Faith; I'll be right here waiting for you."

I guess that's okay, as long as she doesn't leave.

I walk into the room with Riley behind me. There's a hospital bed sitting in the middle of the room with a bunch of doctors standing around it.

"Faith, if you don't mind lying down on the bed, then we can begin."

Wow, this feels real safe.

I sit down on the bed and lie back. The doctors start strapping me into the bed.

I'm doing this for you, Buffy.

Chapter 27
Itchy Trigger Finger

Buffy's POV


She's been yelling like that for hours now. I hope she's gonna be okay. There's no telling what those researchers are doing to her… but if they find out what triggers her attacks then maybe I can avoid making her go all postal and it will all be worth it.


I put my head in my hands and stare at the floor.

It will all be worth it.


Riley's in there with her, he won't let them do anything that isn't necessary. She'll be okay, I know she will. Once we find out what her trigger is then everything will be okay and we can be together like… wait what? Be together like what? Like… like slayer, that's what I mean. Be together like two slayers, fighting against the forces of darkness together.

Someone comes out of the door. I look up.

"Riley… how's it going? Is she okay?"

"She is as well as can be expected. She'll be okay in a few hours. She's a slayer after all, like you."

"Yeah… so, what did you do to her? Do you know what's doing this to her? Have you found out what sets her off?"

I knew she'd be okay.

"Well we tried several different techniques. Physical, mental and emotional stimulants but we haven't quite figured out what triggers it. But we have found out what it is that's caused all this though."

"Really, what is it?

"As near as we can tell it's a combination of Belladonna, Henbane, and a number of muscle stimulants…"

"What does that mean?"

"Well in certain doses, Belladonna and Henbane have been known to cause anxiety, paranoia and violent mood swings, even in demons."

Violent mood swings?

"But she'll be okay won't she? As long as she doesn't have any more of these mood swings right?"

He's looking at me weird, like I shouldn't be so concerned about her.

"Buffy in many cases this kind of dosage, it causes death."

She's gonna die?

"Oh my god, she's gonna die?"

I wrap my arms around Riley and squeeze. He doesn't hug me back.

Something's wrong.

"Is there anything we can do?"

"She has a chance, but it's dangerous."

I let go of Riley and look up at him.

"What do I have to do? I'll try anything."

"Well, the formula has been in her system for too long for us to wash it out of her. The only way to get it out of her system now is to work off her excess adrenaline."

"Are you saying she has too much adrenaline?"

"Yes… one of the reasons people on Belladonna and Henbane have mood swings is because their adrenal glands are over active, to the point where they can't think straight. Eventually they burn themselves out."

So I'll just take her patrolling.

"So I'll just take her out slaying with me. She can work it off that way."

"I don't think that such a good idea Buffy."

"Why? It's not like you know what sets her off."

"No, but we have a theory."

He puts his arm around my shoulders and leads me into the room where Faith is.

A theory, what kind of theory?

"What is it?"

"Hold on…"

As we enter the room, Faith is shocked with some sort of electricity.


I take a few steps toward her but Riley stops me.

"Faith, are you okay?"

She takes a few seconds to recover and then looks up at me.


"Yes Faith… it's me."

She starts struggling against her restraints to get free.

"Faith calm down."

"B-Buffy, grr…"

She starts thrashing about uncontrollably.


The leather restraints start to rip.

"What's going on?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

The restraints rip and Faith nearly jumps out of the hospital bed.

Is she trying to attack me?


I guess that's my answer.

She tries to come at me but the doctors take her down before she has a chance. They try and restrain her again.

I… I'm the trigger.

Riley hands me a piece of paper.

"What's this?"

It's a list of a few things that were in her system that seem to have nothing to do with this formula thing. We figure it's some sort of magic thing."

"O-Okay… I'll go show this t-to Willow and se what she can make of it."

I turn and head out the door as they strap her into the bed again. I start down the hall, leaving Riley behind.

Oh my god, I'm the trigger.

John's POV

"We need to find a way to kill the bitch."

You stupid loser.

"Yeah, why don't we walk over to her dorm and ask her to lie down while we suck her dry."

I'm gonna kill him. Fuck what the boss said I'm gonna find a way to kill him without getting myself killed in the process. Fucking bastard.

"Look, fuck the plan, we gotta do something before those bitches and their little Scooby gang find out why we attacked them."

"I know that, I'm not stupid you know, but I'm starting to think you are."

"Hey shut up… I created the formula, I'm anything BUT an idiot."

"Yeah well all those smarts didn't stop you from getting caught by the enemy."

"No you helped me with that didn't you?"

"Yeah well if you had gone and gotten yourself staked like you were supposed to we wouldn't have this problem."

"Like I was…"

"Wait, shut up…"

I think I got it.

"I will not shut…"

"I know who's gonna help us bring down those slayer bitches. Let's go!"

I hit him in the back of the head and point to the door.

"All right fine…"

Chapter 28
Revelations you'd rather not revel in

Buffy's POV

I'm the trigger, it's my fault.

I'm walking across campus to Tara's dorm, if I can remember where Willow said it was.

Whoever did this to her, did it because they figured Faith would be able to get to me and probably had the power to kill me. It's my fault, and it's more than just because I put her in that coma. Putting her in that coma was only the start; it gave whoever did this to Faith a chance to get to me. They probably strapped her down and did all sorts of terrible experiments on her. They must've injected her with all sorts of drugs and it's my fault.

I turn a corner and I see Tara's dorm. I walk up to it and go inside.

How am I gonna tell Faith I'm the reason she's going berserk? It was hard enough telling her how I put her in a coma, how can I tell her that she has no control over wanting to kill me?

I start walking down the hall to Tara's room, where I figure Willow is.

Maybe I shouldn't tell Faith anything at all. Maybe I should just stay away from her all together, Giles could take her in and help her train and get that formula thing out of her system. With these weird dreams I keep having, they kinda leave me all hot and bothered and after what happened last night when I had that dream… I don't wanna give Faith a reason to go berserk and try and kill me by giving her mixed signals or something. What am I gonna do?

I reach Tara's dorm room and knock on the door, a few seconds later Tara opens the door.

"Hi Buffy…"

"Hi Tara, do you mind if I come in?"

She steps out of the way and I walk through the door.

"Sure, come in. Willow's in the shower."

"Oh I see, so if Willow wasn't in the shower you wouldn't let me in?"

"No that's… that's not what I meant to…. I-I'm sorry if I offended you I… I didn't mean…"

I chuckle at her as she closes the door.

I think I'm gonna like getting to know Tara. She reminds me of when I first met Willow, very uptight and kinda weird. I guess that's why Willow likes her so much.

"It's okay; I'm just joking with ya. I'm really sorry to make you put her up like this."

"It-It's okay, I l-love her and I feel better knowing she's here."

I still feel bad.

"It was just… Faith needed a place to stay and… I didn't know who else she would be safe with."

"It's okay, I understand… but I just wonder…"

She starts playing with her hair and gets all nervous.

She wonders?

"What? What do you wonder about?"

Yeah she definitely reminds me of Willow.

"Well… are you, are you sure that's why you wanted her t-to stay with you?"

"What do you mean? I couldn't let her stay with anyone else, they might get hurt."

"True but… Yeah but that's not why you wanted her close to her."

"What are you talking about?"

She's not making any sense.

"Buffy, I know we haven't known each other that long, but I think I'm a, a good judge of people and how they feel. Are you sure you're not helping Faith b-because you have f-feelings for her?"

Feelings for Faith; what kind of feelings for Faith? She thinks I have feelings for Faith.

"Feelings for her…? Of course I have feelings for Faith. We've been through a lot together. I'm sure Willow has told you about our history."

Wait, what did I just admit to here?

"T-That's n-not what I m-meant."

I was kinda worried about giving Faith mixed signals earlier. What kind of mixed signals was I trying to avoid?

"What did you mean then?"

"B-Buffy you keep defending Faith against the people you trust the most. Why?"

"Well if people would stop attacking her I mean, she has amnesia for fucks sake. She can't defend herself."

"O-Okay but, but why are you the one d-defending her? Willow told me you; you put her in a coma. You nearly beat her to death and now you're defending her. Willow just doesn't understand that."

"I guess if you think of it that way…"

"Y-You just m-might wanna ask yourself why you're defending her. Are you sure you're not defending her for O-OTHER reasons?"

Other reasons?

"Are you trying to say I'm trying to keep Faith for myself?"

"I-I-I'm not trying to say anything. Are you?"

Why do I feel like she's taking me in circles?

"Are you trying to say something? Are you trying to tell me I have the hots for Faith?"

"T-The better question might be are you sure t-that's not what you're trying to tell yourself?"

I… I don't know. I did kinda feel like kissing her when we were on the floor after I woke her from that dream. Could I have the hots for Faith? No, no, no, what happened there was all because of that dream I had. I don't have the hots for Faith.

"W-well I…"

The bathroom door opens and Willow comes out, tucking her towel in around her body with another towel on her head. She starts drying her hair.

"Hey Tara, I'm sorry I took so long, I hope I didn't use up all the hot…"

She takes the towel off her head and sees me stand there.

I swear I can feel the air getting thicker.

"Willow I…"

"Come to throw me out of this place too? Well I've got news for you; I don't live here so you can't throw me out."

"Willow I'm sorry. I know what I did was wrong but… but Faith doesn't have a place to stay and…"

"Save it Buffy. There's not explanation necessary…"

Okay um, I hope Tara's not the reason there's no explanation necessary. Her explanation kinda scares me. Why does the idea of having the hots for Faith scare me?

"I believe you when you say Faith has amnesia. That was one of the big reasons why I was so angry before."


"What changed your mind?"


I kinda raise an eyebrow at her.

Tara didn't tell Willow about her theory did she?

"Tara, she can read auras… and she told me that Faith's aura is all weak and that means she has no memory because auras are determined by experience. That doesn't mean Faith and I will be the best of friend or anything. I still don't like her."

"I understand… you'll need time."

"Yeah, I need time to deal with her wedging herself back into our lives. Plus I still don't totally trust her."

"Okay… is there anything I can do?"

"Well, seeing as how I need some time it might be a good idea if we didn't cross paths unless it's important… by we I mean me and Faith not you and me. You and me, we'll be okay."

She comes over to me and hugs me. She's still a little wet but I couldn't care less. After a few moments she breaks the hug and takes a step back.

"I'm sorry for being so mad at you last night."

"It's all right, I guess I didn't really think about how you'd feel, me showing up at our doorstep with someone you hate and kicking you out so she had a place to sleep, doesn't exactly put us on the best of terms now does it?"

"I guess not, but it's not we can change what happened. What's done is done and all that crap you know? I guess if you feel safer knowing that Faith is staying with you where she can't hurt anyone then she can stay as long as she needs to."

"I do."

I look over at Tara and she sorta half smiles at me.

She was right, I don't want Faith staying anywhere but with me. I feel safer knowing she's staying with me, why is that? Could she be right about everything else?

I turn my attention back to Willow.

Even after finding out that I'm what sets Faith off, all I could think about was how the news was gonna affect Faith. Speaking of which…

"Oh, before I forget why I came here…"

I pull out the list Riley gave me.

"I took Faith to see Riley and the initiative today; I wanted them to figure out why Faith was having these panic attack things."

"Are you sure that's safe? The initiative isn't all that trust worthy."

"Yeah but Riley promised me he would be in charge of everything with Faith so she's okay."

"Good. So did they figure out why?"

I can't tell her I'm Faith's trigger. It'll just give Willow a reason to start arguing with me again and that's not gonna help Faith.

"They don't know why Faith is going off but they know how it's happening. They found a few things in her system that had no effect on her whatsoever."

"You think it could be mystical?"

"That's what I figured. Riley had them make a list, I was hoping…"

"You were hoping I'd take a look at the list and see what I could come up with?"

"Would you mind?"

I know Willow and I can have our differences but when it comes down to it we always come through for each other.

"You know I will Buffy."

"Thank you Willow, I really appreciate it."

"We're best friends Buffy. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I'll have this figured out by tomorrow."

I turn around and head for the door. I stop before I head out the door.

"See ya later Will."

I look over at Tara before leaving down the hall.

This conversation isn't over Tara.

Chapter 29
There's always room for PWP

Tara's POV

I don't know if I made things better or worse.

I look up from the magic book I've been looking through for the past hour.

Willow's been sitting at my computer almost since the moment Buffy left. Not to mention the fact that Buffy herself seemed kinda wigged out by the whole experience of coming over here. Maybe I should've just left well enough alone and just let her figure it out for herself. I just seemed to make her even more confused that when she got here. And Willow just sits there typing away, searching for the answer to the ingredients on that list. She hasn't even bothered to get dressed. I suppose she could take that towel off and… now there's an idea.


She doesn't stop typing.


"Are you okay?"

"Of course Tara, why wouldn't I be?"

She doesn't sound okay, she almost sounds distant.

"Well you've been sitting at that computer for almost 3 hours now…"

She stops typing and takes a deep breath.

Is she mad at me?

She turns around in my swivel chair and smiles at me.

"I'm sorry Tara. I was just busy trying to figure out what these magical herbs do in their Faith stew. You were worried?"

I curl up in bed like a sexy little kitty.

"I did get kinda worried when you didn't take that 'towel' off."

I make sure and emphasise the word towel to see if she gets the message.

She looks down at the towel wrapped around her. Her smile gets a little wider.

Nope, definitely not mad at me.

She holds the towel in place with her right hand as she stands up and looks me in the eyes. She takes a few steps toward the bed.

I swear I can feel the blood leave my brain as she speaks.

"I suppose you'd prefer it if I didn't wear anything at all?"

She moves her hand away and just stands there as the towel drops to the floor, revealing her beautiful skin like… like…

Work brain work.

She just stands there like a beautiful Hestian goddess in her naked beauty. I run my left hand down my body as I'm hit with a wave of heat at the sight of my Willow's beauty, stopping between my legs.

God her beauty overwhelms me some times.

I move my hand up a few inches to the button on the waist of my jeans.

"Well sure…"

I undo the button and unzip the zipper.

"But now I feel like I'm over dressed."

I roll over on my stomach, ass in the air.

Wait for it… Wait for it… 3, 2, and 1.

"Well we'll just have to do something about that."

I look behind me as Willow comes toward me and sits down next to me other bed. She looks at me with eager eyes as she traces her fingers down my body as if savouring the moment.

It feels like a tickle as she starts at my neck, teases me through the fabric of my shirt and gently disappears as her fingers reach my waist.

I close my eyes as every muscle in my body tenses up in anticipation at the feeling of Willow's fingers between my waistband and my skin. She waits a few seconds and it feels like an eternity. I open my eyes and look back at her.

She's got this half smile on her face, teasing me. She's such a tease, I love it.

Her hands move across my back in opposite directions until they finally rest at either side of me. Slowly, very slowly, she starts peeling off my jeans and it sends a shiver up my spine.

It's the good kind of shiver. She's making me wait for it. The jeans make me want to scratch and itch as the glide across my thighs. She's making me wait for the big pay off.

I point my feet, toes curled, as my jeans are finally thrown across the room. All of the sudden, she grabs my ankles.


I chuckle.


"Y-Your hands are cold."

"Heh… good…"

She runs her hands up my legs and the cold makes me inhale sharply. She stops as she grabs my butt and gently massages it.

"My hands may be cold but your ass certainly isn't."

I'm suddenly REALLY glad I wore my lace thong today. I've only got the one pair and I don't like to wear them that often. Course it won't matter what I wore today in a few minutes.

Her hands fall to my sides and she turns me over on my back. As I nestle in to this little groove I've made for myself in the bed, Willow stands up if only long enough to climb on top of me. She makes sure not to touch me, just to tease me that little bit longer. Slowly, she lowers herself closer to me never touching, making me wait again. My breathing gets heavier as I feel her hot breath move across my neck, my cheeks and stopping just over my mouth. She licks my bottom lip and another wave of warmth just flows right through me.

"I'd say we're getting better… wouldn't you?"

My whole body's on fire and we're nowhere near the best part.


That's all I can say before she kisses me. Her lips press against mine and they're soft and inviting and it makes me kiss her back. Then, like a fish dangling from a line I'm left hanging. I open my eyes and she's staring back at me.

Her eyes are filled with such love and devotion like I've never seen before, it makes my heart skip a couple beats.

She leans into me and I can feel the heat from her skin on me. She starts kissing my neck with quick little pecks before moving down my body. Every kiss feels like a bolt of lightning through every muscle she kisses. I squirm with delight as she kisses her way across my shoulder and then down to my chest. She stops between my breasts just long enough to pull my shirt off my belly and over my breasts.

The feeling of the cool night air against my skin only makes me more excited by what's coming next.

She traces her fingers down my sides and across my stomach, giving me goose bumps all over as her hands come together in the middle for a moment before resting on either side of me. She slides herself up my body, the beads of sweat from our bodies merging as she does. I kiss her as our eyes meet and it makes her lean into me. She breaks the kiss and starts working her way down my neck again. Working her way from my next down the left side of my body this time, I push myself into every kiss as she gets closer and closer to more sensitive flesh. I pull my shirt off and throw it across the room. She plants a quick kiss on the breast cups of my bra, right where my rock hard nipples would be if they weren't covered by this damn bra.

I really should stop wearing these things.

I bring my hands out of their pretty much comatose state long enough to push my breasts together, unhooking those damned hooks. I start to let go but Willow stops me. She puts her hands on mine and holds my breast together. Her eyes meet mine as she moves up my body, kissing me deeply. She takes my hands away and places them down on either side of me. She breaks the kiss and shakes her head at me and does that cute little smile of hers.

"We're not there just yet."

Okay, I'll let her have her fun, her fun is my pleasure after all.

She pushes the lacy white fabric aside and stares down at my naked chest, her breathing gets quicker and deeper. Our eyes finally meet.

"Every time I look at you it's like I see this deeper beauty in you that I've never seen before. It's overwhelming."

I look longingly into her eyes and I feel it too. I can feel it crawling over my skin, in a good way.

"I love you…"

I grab the back of her neck and pull her to me for a kiss. I roll on top of her while she's distracted.

"M-… my how the tables have t-turned."

She looks up at me with a look of pure lust, a look I've seen so many times before but never fails to send my heart racing. I feel her put her open palm on my stomach and start to slide it down my body, I lean into her touch.

"Are you…"

Her 2 fingers glide between my legs, over my thong. My hips rock to the feel of her fingers rubbing against my clit.

"Are you sure you're the one…"

I'm rolled over on my back, Willow's fingers still pressing against my clit.

"… In control…?"

I let out a deep breath as her fingers slip inside me slightly, separated only by the thin silk of my thong. I feel the wetness of Willow's lips on my left nipple, followed by a gentle sucking feeling. My whole body arches into her lips.


I whisper as another wave of pleasure washes through me. I push harder as she finds her way to my right nipple long enough to kiss it deeply.

Again a longer wave of pleasure goes through every part of my body. I feel her tongue against my chest; it slowly runs its way down between my breasts and down my belly to my navel.

Her tongue works its way into my belly button and I feel her lips close around my navel. Slowly, I feel her tongue leave my skin. I reach up and run my hands through her golden red hair. She kisses the skin she exposes as she pulls off my panties.

Now for the fun.

She makes sure to look up at me as she pulls my thong over my knees.

She's got that wicked smile on her face she had earlier, but her eyes still have that love and devotion that makes my body shiver with delight.

My thong panties slide right off my feet like my pants did moments earlier. Willow moves down to the edge of the bed, putting her hands on my knees. She leans against my legs with her naked skin. I can feel her chest rise and fall against my legs. Slowly, I feel her part my legs making sure some part of her is touching some part of me at all times. She leans between my legs, revealing my ready, wet and waiting pussy. She climbs her way up my body and kisses me hard. She breaks the kiss and she nibbles on my chin before working her way back down my body. I look down at her as I feel her arms around my thighs.

The feel of her hot breath on my pussy makes my head fall back and my hips lurch forward, her arms around my legs keeps me against the bed.

She kisses both my thighs.

"Oh gods... please…"

Just do it already, you've tortured me enough. The wave of warmth that I'm getting oh so used to washes over me as I feel her tongue lick me. Another wave as her tongue enters me.

My whole body squirm as she begins licking and sucking at my sensitive innards. My muscles start to tense and release uncontrollably with every kiss and swirl of her tongue.

Oh god, she always does this so well, it's incredible.

I reach down and run my fingers through her hair, playing with it a little.

The wave of pleasure runs through me again but it's different than before, longer and more intense.

My lower body tenses as I feel a finger enter me. My body arches upward as I feel her finger come in and out of me.

"Oh yes… Willow yes…"

I feel another finger slip inside and every part of me tingles with delight.


I start squirming as a third finger makes its way into me.

"Oh god Willow…"

She starts pumping her fingers into me harder and harder, faster and faster. Her fingers still inside me, I feel her rock hard nipples brush against my skin as she moves to look me in the face. Our eyes lock as her thrusts get faster. I feel myself tighten around her fingers, our eyes still locked, and… and everything… everything… Oh Willow.

"Yes… Willow god yes… right… right… right there… y-yes Willow I-yes…"

Our eyes never leave each other as my whole body tenses up and I start shaking.

"Willow, Willow, Willow I… I-I-I-I LOVE YOU!"

I explode as every muscle in me just goes limp. My body feels like jelly as I look up at Willow. She kisses me and I can taste myself on her lips.

"Willow, I…"

"I know, I feel it too…"

I roll her over. My arms may feel like jelly but the fun's not over yet. I slide my arm down her body and kiss her as I reach between her legs. Her whole body moves into my touch as I start to rub her clit. I kiss her naked flesh, which was naked much earlier so I don't have to worry about clothes. She arches into my touch as my lips touch her left nipple. My fingers still rubbing against her clit I start to suck gently on her nipple, just to tease her that little bit. I flick my tongue on her nipple as my lips leave her left nipple and I slowly make my way to her right. She still moves into my touch as I stop rubbing her clit long enough to plant a kiss on her right nipple. I move back up her body to look her in the eyes. She looks back at me.

"I love you Tara, you know that right?"

"Yes… I do."

I can see it in her eyes when she looks at me.

Her body tenses as I slip two fingers into her.


I can hear it in her voice when she calls my name.

Her hips start to move as I begin to slide my fingers in and out of her.

"Oh Tara…"

She tightens around my fingers as I slip another finger into her.

I can feel it in her skin when I touch her.

Her breathing races as I start to pump into her harder and faster.

"Yes Tara yes… yes…"

Her whole body starts to rock as I push into her harder and harder.

When I'm close to her I feel her love, and I can even feel it when we're apart.

"Tara… Tara…"

Every muscle in her seems to thrust her upward and our bodies touch. She screams out my name as she collapses on the bed.


I look at her as I pull my fingers out of her.

She's got this huge smile on her face.

She looks up at me and her smile gets wider as I lick my fingers clean, but not before she sucks one of the fingers clean herself. I lie down on top of her in exhaustion, my head on her chest.

"I love you Willow."

"I love you too Tara."

I listen to her breathing slow as I close my eyes. I nod off to the sound of Willow's breathing.

Chapter 30
Of all the 'what if' joints in the world, why'd she have to walk into mine?

Buffy's POV

How the hell am I gonna tell her?

I'm sitting at Faith's bedside, holding her hand.

She's passed out after all the tests they've put her through. I don't know why I'm holding her hand; I guess it makes me feel better to know she's okay. But I shouldn't want to feel better… it's my fault. She's gonna die and probably take me with her, all because some big bad wants me dead. I don't wanna feel better, I wanna feel guilty and scared… scared that I'm gonna die. But I don't. I'm sitting here next to Faith, feeling the warmth of her hand in mine, and all I can feel is… determined. I feel determined to do whatever it takes to help Faith through what will no doubt be one of the hardest things she's ever been through. I can't let her go through this alone, I have to help her. Whoever did this to her isn't gonna be happy when Faith works this formula out of her system and that's when they'll come for her and she has to be ready for that.

I can help her get ready; once she's ready we can save the world. We'll save the world and then we can be together… Oh my god, she was right. S-She was right… Tara was right. I do, I want to be with her. I want to be with Faith.

I life Faith's hand up and kiss it. I close my eyes as my lips touch her soft, silky skin and I'm overcome by this feeling of incredible warmth and safety.

It's unlike anything I've ever felt before. It's an incredible feeling, followed immediately by a really bad feeling.

I open my eyes and let go of Faith's hand, letting it drop on the bed limply.

I can't do this, it's wrong. I can't dump this on her on top of everything else. Not only does she have no memory so she'll wonder if something didn't happen between us before, but she's about to learn she's being used as a tool of evil forces to try and kill me. How do I even start that conversation? Okay go kill this vampire and hey, do you mind if I jump your bones afterwards? N-no I can't do that to her.

I look up at her sleeping face. She shifts in her sleep.

Besides, I don't even know if she feels the same way. What if she doesn't? That would make things kinda awkward between us, especially with us living together and all.

I start looking around the room like I'm looking for an answer or something.

What if she does? What if she does, and then we do? What if she does and then we do, and then we find out we love each other? What if she does and then we do and then we… we find out we love each other, and then she gets her memory back and everything changes? And what if she decides that she doesn't really love me like I would for her? What then? I don't think I could live knowing what we could've had.

My head stops moving as it lands its gaze on Faith's sleeping face.

I-I can't do this to her. It just wouldn't be right. Giles… I can get Giles to retrain her. Yeah, he was a watcher for years. He knows about this stuff. He knows how to train slayers and stuff. I'll ask him.

I stand up out of my seat.

I should go and ask him right now.

I turn to leave. I feel a hand on my wrist. I turn back around and Faith is look up at me.


Oh crap.

Part 31

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