Forgotten Conscience
Two roads, one path
By Christopher Andrews


Chapter 46
The phrase 'We need to talk…' never ends well

Buffy's POV

God that whole ice cream shop thing made everything worse. I might as well have just grabbed her and kissed her right then and there. It would've been less obvious.

Now we're walking through the cemetery, half trying to keep our distance, half trying not to lose each other in case we get attacked. I don't know what to say to her. We both have feelings for each other that much is obvious, but neither of us is willing to act on them. Well I'm not… I really don't know about Faith. After the way she just asked me point blank how I felt about her the way she did, I have no idea what she might do.

I glance over at her for a second to make sure we aren't more than a few feet away.

I honestly don't think I could stop myself if she decided to act on her feelings. I mean I… I've barely been able to control myself so far, if she wanted it too if I… I don't know. But, she was the one who suggested we could have a better chance of catching a vampire in action if we spread out. She probably just needed to be alone and think. Damn, you know I haven't left her alone since she came back to Sunnydale. Maybe when this is all done with I should let her be by herself for a while.

Will that make things better though? I mean, eventually we're gonna have to talk about this. About how we feel about each other, about what we should do about it, and why it's a bad idea for us to get involved with so many unknown things going on right now. Maybe we shouldn't wait to talk about this, get it over with before we say something we might regret.

I start over toward her.


She glances over at me and then goes into a fighting stance.

"What is it? Did you see something?"

"No, I didn't… I just… I came over here because; well… we need to talk."

"About what…?"

"About us…"

She lets out a deep breath.

"I thought there wasn't gonna be an 'us'? That's what you said isn't it?"

"I know I said that but… I want you to know why I said that."

"You explained that. You don't want there to be an 'us' because you're afraid of what will happen when I get my memory back. "

"Yes but it's more than that. I do have feelings for you; it's taking everything I have just to keep from…"

She steps slowly to me and I feel all tingly inside.

"… from grabbing you and…"

She gets a little closer and I forget what I'm talking about.

"Why don't you?"

She reaches out and pushes my hair out of my face, letting her fingers caress my chin bone as her hand pulls away. A shiver goes through me as she does.

You can't do this, it wouldn't be right.

"Faith… we shouldn't, what if…?"

"What if right now?"

She puts her hand on my hip and pulls me to her, hip to hip. I take a deep breath as she leans into me. I put my hand on her back and pull her closer to me.

I... I know I shouldn't but… Ow!

We're knocked off our feet, on top of each other.


After a moment of shock I snap back to reality.

"Faith, are you okay?"

She lets out a deep breath and I feel her breath on me.

"Yeah, what the hell was that?"

I look around, still on top of Faith.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure it was a vampire."

I get up and put out my hand to help her up.

"Why's that?"


"Cause we're surrounded by them."


I knew this conversation wasn't gonna end well.

Spike's POV

I walk through the graveyard, stalking the slayers but keeping my distance.

Something about this is off. Usually when this little slayer bitch goes slaying she and her friends spend all her time gabbing about god knows what useless crap. But this time for some reason, they're keeping their distance. Which means either these two kiddies ain't friends, or there's trouble in Scoobyville. Either way it'll make my life a lot easier.

All of the sudden, I see Buffy walking toward her raven haired totty.

Oh good, this is gonna go really well. They start talking and the black haired girl who I can assume is this Faith girl that John and his boys are so worked up over.

I get a little closer to them as I notice they're pretty caught up in their little chat.

If I didn't know the little bint was shaggin that Riley fellow, I'd say these two were havin themselves a little lover's spat. But that can't be right, what about soldier boy? Unless of course the slayer is looking for a little something on the side, I didn't know the slayer could be so man-hungry, or in this case babe hungry.

The two of them get really close.

All right, time to break the two love birds up before they start mackin on each other.

I turn to some of John boy's cronies.

"You, go knock 'em off their feet…"

I shove him in their direction and he starts running.

"And you five, you go back 'em up. GO! Before I stake you myself; if you get into trouble I'll be there to help out."

Yeah right.

I watch them run over and surround the fallen slayers.

This is gonna be more fun that I thought.

Faith's POV

I take Buffy's hand and she helps me up. I look around at the 6 or 7 vampires around us.

"Faith… do you feel up to this?"

I don't think they're just gonna let me walk away if you say no.

"Do I have a choice?"

"Well if you want I can hold them off long enough for you to get away."

"Hmm, 6 against 1… could get pointless."

"So could 6 against 2."

"Yeah, it does sorta seem like 3 against 1 doesn't it?"

She chuckles at me.


"Never mind, we gotta concentrate on not dying."


"Okay, let's do it."

One of the vampires runs at us and Buffy takes him on. I don't have time to cheer her on. A vampire comes at me from behind. I kick him in the stomach and falls over. Another vampire rushes me as I pull out the stake Buffy gave me, this time coming at me head on. I lead with a right cross and he follows with a left hook which I barely dodge. I manage to hit him in the face with a quick jab and he stumbles back a few steps. Just to keep my luck going the right way, I punch him in the stomach and follow with a kick to the head which sends him flat on his back.

I turn around and the last guy I decked is getting up. I hit him in the head with a roundhouse kick.

That should keep him busy while I deal with the third vampire coming in from the side.

I look over at Buffy as she stakes a vampire, bad idea. The vampire grabs me and puts his arm around my neck, choking me.


He grabs my arm and twists it behind my back.

Fuck, this hurts a lot more than when Buffy did it.

Buffy looks over at me struggling and I can't get out of the hold.


He squeezes a little harder.

"Especially you, unless you wanna be staking your little friend here next…"

She starts toward me but two vampires grab her and hold her back.

"No… don't do it."

I struggle to get free but he chokes me harder.

"P-Please, l-let me go."

"No… I think I'll keep you around JUST long enough to see your little friend die."

I feel my hair being pushed to the side.

Okay this is not how I thought it would go.

I hear a low growl from behind my ear and it sends a shiver down my spine, which just happens to be pressed against the vampire.


I can see her struggle in futility against the vampires, tears in her eyes. I feel the vampire breath on my neck and then, all of the sudden it stops and I feel the grip the vamp has on me weakened. I fall into a pile of dust and someone catches me. I look up at some bleach blonde guy holding me up.

"T-Thank you… who are you?"

He looks around.

"No time for that now love, evil's a foot."

He helps me up and I see Buffy break free by cracking their skulls.

Okay, lives in danger worry about introductions later.

I take on one of the vampires while Buffy deals with the other one. The other three vampires don't attack us.

I guess pale skin guy is keeping them busy. Whoever he is I'm really glad he's hanging out in a cemetery like a lunatic.

I hit him in the face.

"Faith, are you all right?"

She hits her vampire with a barrage of punches.

"Well, I'm still breathing."

"I hear… that's an important PART."

She stakes a vamp at the end of her sentence.

"So I HEAR."

I do the same for some reason. As we wipe the dust off of ourselves we look over at Blondie who's dealing with three vampires.

"What the hell is he doing here?"

I follow her over to the rest of the battle. I can pretty much tell they know each other.

"Well I'm not sure but I think he's saving my life."

We stop just far enough away not to get involved.

"Yeah but the question is why?"

She doesn't like him, but he saved my life so I don't feel too inclined to hate him.

He manages to stake a vamp.

"Shouldn't we help him?"

"Nah, he can handle himself."

Um… okay…

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm a little busy right now slayer. Feel free to chime in at any time."

She looks over at me and I'm already looking back.

"He did save my life Buffy."

She rolls her eyes and huffs at me.

"All right FINE."

She walks over and tries to get involved but it doesn't last long. She distracts the vampire long enough for peroxide boy to stake one of the two remaining vampires, but she does it by getting hit in the face and it sends her flying into me and she lands on top of me.

I look up at her and she looks back at me, right in the eyes. My eyes are locked on hers as she stares into me soul. I put my hand on her side and I feel her hand on my neck pulling us closer together. We're so close we don't hear the last vampire turn to dust.

"Well… that was bracing, wasn't it kids?"

Buffy blinks as if coming out of a trance. She gets off me before helping me up.

"What the hell do you want Spike?"

Spike, his name is Spike?

He responds in a sarcastic tone.

"Oh, thank you very much for saving my life and my friend's life. Please accept one of my nice juicy blood vessels as payment for your noble deed."

Wow, did these two used to date?

"For all I know you probably set this whole thing up."

"Oh come on slayer. You know as well as I do that the demons in this town ain't been all that friendly to me since I've helped you fight them. Speaking of being friendly I don't think you've introduced me to your little friend here."

He heads in my direction and Buffy isn't too happy about it.

"And I'm not gonna introduce you."

Spike puts out his hand I take it.

"The name's Spike. What's yours?"

"Um, it's Faith."

"Really, well how'd you wind up with Ms. Sunshine over there and the Scoobies?"

Buffy decides to get involved in our conversation.

"It's a long boring story."

"I'm not getting any younger."

Buffy takes my hand and we start walking away.

"You wouldn't like it."

She REALLY doesn't like this Spike guy… but something tells me I should get to know him.

"Say, why don't I buy you lovely ladies a couple drinks and you can tell me the whole story?"

I stop and Buffy nearly gets taken off her feet when I don't let go.

"Sounds like fun…"


"But on one condition, you let us buy you a drink or two."

I put my arm around Buffy's shoulders. I feel her tense up under my touch and I suddenly feel kinda tense myself.

"Of course by us I mean Buffy because I don't have any money, at least not that I remember."

Buffy puts her arm around my shoulders and I realize just how much of a bad idea this closeness thing is.

"Excuse us for a second Spike, I have to talk with my friend and… quite frankly you're not one of them so, let's be honest, we might not be back, excuse us."

She leads me away form Spike sorta half huddling as we do. She whispers to me.

"Faith I don't want to go have drinks with Spike, he's evil."

"Come on he can't be that bad, he did save my life and yours."

"He's a vampire Faith; he doesn't save lives he takes them."

A vampire…? Wait Spike, isn't that…?

"You mean Spike the vampire who got a chip in his head thanks to those military bastards in their dank pit?"

"Yeah, that Spike."

"Well… if he is evil then we should definitely go have drinks with him."

"Faith I think your amnesia has affected more than just your memory."

It's not insane when you think about it.

"Think about it, if he did set this all up then he's not just gonna go ahead and admit it. But if he had a few drink…"

"He might let slip a few things he wouldn't think to otherwise. Okay… as much as I hate this idea you're right."

She takes her arm off my shoulder and it dawns on me to do the same.

"All right Spike let's go have some, I can't believe I'm saying this… fun."

"Jolly good…"

He comes over and gets between us, putting his arms around our shoulders.

"Let's go to the Bronze, it is the only place worth going to in this town."


Buffy stops and I look over at her. She peels Spike's arm off her shoulder, making sure to touch him as little as possible.

"Don't touch me Spike."

Spike takes his arm off me.

"Right then, let's go."

I can't tell if this is gonna be fun or not.

Chapter 47
Getting drunk will leave a bad taste in your mouth… then there's the booze

Tara's POV

She doesn't talk much anymore. We wake up, we go to school, we go to Mr. Giles' to do research and then we come home and go to bed. We used to talk all the time about just about everything, now we are pretty much quiet around each other. I think it has something to do with Faith. I think she's still angry over what happened.

She should spend some time with Faith, be her friend. I have this feeling that Faith is gonna need a friend. I don't know why or how I know it but I do.

I lean over on the bed and I kiss her neck.

We still sleep like this, sometimes I sleep in her arms, sometimes she sleeps in mine like tonight, and sometimes we sleep in each other's arms. We love each other; I don't doubt that for a moment. What scares me is the anger inside her. She's so focused on it… almost like she's driven by it. That kind of anger with the magic she's capable of… I don't even want to think about it. I should do something.


I pull her hair out of her face and she stirs.


"Are you still awake?"

"Yeah, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, I just wanted to talk to you."

"About what…?"

She takes my hand in hers and kisses it.

"I was just thinking that maybe we should invite Faith out for drinks sometime."

Willow turns over to look me in the eyes.


"Because well she must be very lonely right now, I just thought maybe we could be friendly you know with the friend thing."

"Why? I thought we talked about this; Faith has Buffy to be her friend. She doesn't need us."

"I know but…"

Willow sits up in bed.

"Why is this so important to you? I thought we'd settled this."

"I know I just… I'm scared."

I sit up next to her.

"Of Faith…? Who wouldn't be?"

It's not Faith I'm scared of.

"No… I'm scared of… of you."

That probably wasn't the best thing to say.

"Scared? Why are you scared of me? What would you have to be scared of me for?"

"I'm… I'm scared of you so much as I'm scared of your anger…"

"My anger…?"

"You're angry about Faith."

"And why wouldn't I be?"

"Well it's just…"

"I'm sorry that my being angry with someone who tried to kill me and everyone I care about scares you but I have every right to be angry."

I'm not disputing that.

"I know that but what worries me is what is gonna happen. What you're gonna do or say with that anger."

"Well what do you want me to do? Just stop being angry at her?"

"No I don't it's just… maybe we should just spend time with her, get to know the person she is…"

"You want me to get to know a woman who tried to kill me? I can barely stand to look her in the face."

"It may be the same face looking at you but if we spent some time with her I'm sure you'll see that she isn't the same person on the inside."

"We've had this conversation Tara. I believe you when you say she has amnesia and that she's a different person then she used to be but that still doesn't change how I feel."

"I know and I don't mean to be pushy about this but how are you gonna deal with your anger if you avoid what's making you angry?"

There's a silence between us as she thinks about what I said.

"I'm not asking you to like her, I'm not even asking you to be her friend. All I'm asking is for you to spend some time with her."

Again we're silent as she stares at her feet, covered by our sheets.

"Okay I'll ask but I can't promise anything. Faith, no matter who she is now, knows how I feel."

"Thank you, I appreciate this."

She slinks down on the bed.

"Can we just go to bed now?"

I lean in and plant a kiss on her lips.


I slide down and put my head on her chest. I can hear her heart beating. I put my arms around her mid-section as I feel her arms around my shoulders. I close my eyes and listen to her heart beat.

"I love you Willow."

"I love you too Tara."

This'll all be for the best, especially for Buffy.

Buffy's POV

"… and now she's here."

Wow, I talk a lot.

I take a sip of my drink and look over at Spike.

"Well… that was a rousing tale."

"See I told you it would be boring."

I conveniently left out the part about me getting warm and fuzzy down low feelings for Faith. I really don't need Spike ragging on me about all that. But now that I think about it I never did figure out if this was just about Faith or girls in general or… something more complicated.

"No really it was quite a story."

"Oh come on you were bored all the way through."

"See even Faith could tell, you aren't fooling anyone."

"Hey now, stakes into human hearts, blood everywhere, young girls trying to tear each other limb from limb. It was quite riveting."

First word eww, second word… okay there's no second word it's pretty much just eww.

"I knew there was a reason I hated you Spike."

Spike gets up and picks up a couple glasses on the table.

"Right then, you go on hating me and I'll go and get us a couple more drinks."

"Sounds like a good idea."

"I tend to agree with Faith, the less you're around the better I'll feel."

Spike glares at me as he leaves to the bar and I glare back.

You know, now that I think about it Spike is kinda neutral. And except for my incredible distaste of the blood sucker I suppose he's an okay guy, and he is kinda hunky I suppose for a creature of the night and all. Maybe I should…

"So what do you think?"

I snap out of whatever the hell's wrong with me.


"Of Spike… what do you think?"

What do I think of Spike?

"I'm sorry I didn't hear what the question was?"

"What do you think? Is he evil?"

Oh… evil… I thought she meant…

"Well he's a vampire so of course he's evil."

"But do you think he's working for those evil cult guys?"

"He does seem really interested in you, and trust me that can't be good."

She chuckles and I'm not sure if my head is swimming because of the alcohol or because she's cute when she smiles.

It's probably a little of both. When Faith used to smile there was always something sinister about the way she did it, almost like she wasn't happy unless she had an ulterior motive. But I don't see that in her smile now, it's kind of nice not to wonder whether she's thinking about killing me especially considering how I feel about her. Speaking of which, maybe I should go and see if Spike can help me with my problem.

"So we stick to the plan right?"


"The plan…? You know, the one where we have a few more drinks with him and see if we can loosen his tongue."

Tongues… that's a good idea, no tongues, tongues equal a bad place I really don't wanna go… no tongues.

"Right… where the hell is Spike anyway?"

Faith looks around.

"Yeah how long does it take to order drinks?"

Okay, good excuse… take it, take it.

I stand up.

"I think I'll go over to the bar and make sure he hasn't ditched us."

"You want me to come with?"

"No it's cool; I'll be back in a second. Just hold our table okay?"


I start walking through the crowd at the Bronze, dodging people dancing all over the place.


I run into someone and lucky for them I didn't knock them over.

"Hey, watch it bitch."

I look up at who I ran into.

"Well there's a phrase you don't hear everyday, unless you're me."

"Oh, sorry I was just on my way back with your drinks."

I look at the drinks in Spike's hands.

"As you can obviously see…"

Okay… try not to stake him long enough to do this; it'll only take a sec.

"Thanks… so Spike, how are you?"

"Do you care?"

No, I don't.

"Okay no I don't I just thought I'd be polite, what with you saving my life and all."

"Do you need something slayer?"

"Actually yes…"

Okay straight to the point.

"Well what is it? I'm kinda getting tired of holding these drinks."

I grab the drinks out of his hands and put them on the nearest table.

"All right, what the hell do you want slayer?"

I start walking towards him and he keeps backing off.

"I need your help with something Spike."

"Awe… I don't have to save anyone. Or anything heroic, do I?"

"No actually…"

He backs into the side of the stairs which lead upstairs. We get inches from each other.

The thought of us this close makes my skin crawl… and not in the good way like with Faith.

"All you have to do is stand there."

He gives me this weird look.

Do it… do it, and get it over with… then you can put the horrible taste of his mouth behind you.

I grab him by the back of the head and kiss him.

I knew it… I don't feel a thing; this makes things a little less complicated. So why am I still kissing him? Okay any time now.

I hear a glass break and I stop kissing him.

Thank god.

I look to where the glass broke.

Oh crap… FAITH!

Chapter 48
Answering questions

Faith's POV

"No it's cool, I'll be back in a second. Just hold our table okay?"

Um sure I guess.


She leaves the table and goes into the crowd and I lose sight of her.

She was kinda distracted, almost like she had something else on her mind. I hope our ice cream shop talk didn't make her feel uncomfortable being around me. We admitted how we feel about each other, that's a good thing right? She's right though… about it being a bad idea for us to get involved what with my lack of memory and all.

But I don't know how long I can do it. The way she looks at me when she smiles, or laughs, it makes me weak in the knees. I don't know how long I can go without wanting to grab her and make out with her. We're spending all this time together, plus I bet these life and death situations we keep getting into can't be helping.

I take a sip of this drink I keep nursing.

I don't exactly know what it is except that it's alcohol and it tastes pretty good.

I look around at the crowd, Buffy's nowhere in sight.

She's been gone a few minutes. I hope everything's okay.

I get up to see if I can get a better look of the crowd. I think I see her talking to someone but I'm not sure. I move away from the table and I catch a glimpse of her.

Who's she talking to? I should go find out.

I start walking toward Buffy. She stops near the stairs.

What is she doing?

I get closer to her.

Oh god, what is she doing? She's, she's kissing… she's kissing him.

I drop my drink and it breaks on the floor. Buffy stops kissing Spike and looks over at me.

I… I can't… she didn't… she wouldn't…


I… I should go…

I turn around and head for the door.


I don't stop as I head out the door but I don't get far. Someone grabs me and turns me around.

I can't believe she kissed him.

"Faith wait, let me explain."

Explain? What's there to explain?

"You don't have to explain anything its okay."

Keep telling yourself that, just keep telling yourself that.

"But I do, I need to explain what you saw there."

"It's all right Buffy; you don't have to explain to me why you had your tongue in Spike's mouth."

"N-N-no… no tongues, there were no tongues. It was tongue-less."

"It's like I said, you don't have to explain to me. It's not like we're involved."

I turn around and start walking away though I have no idea where I'm going since I live with Buffy. She follows me and gets in my way.

"Faith look, I know technically we're not involved but we might as well be. You know how I feel about you."

"Okay that's just it; I don't know how you feel about me."

"What do you mean? I thought…"

"Well you thought wrong I mean come on Buffy…. You say you have feelings for me but, you don't want us to get involved because it wouldn't be right…"

"Well yeah, I thought we agreed about that."

"Meanwhile you're still involved with that army boy Riley…"

"I can't change how I felt about him once upon a time."

"No, you can't… but let's not forget your little tongue twister back in there."

"Okay um… here's where I was gonna explain I, I had a good reason for kissing Spike I… I did it for you."

I don't see how that works.

I look at her kinda weird.

"How does that work exactly?"

"Okay so I realize that might sound kinda weird but I had to be sure…. I had to be sure that what I felt was more than just normal college experimental stuff that sometimes happens."

I'm almost not sure I wanna know.

I take a step forward.


"It's definitely more than just college stuff…"

She reaches out and brushes the hair behind my right ear. My heart skips a beat as she gets a little closer to me.

"Faith I think I'm falling in love with you."

I feel my whole body heat up as she says those words. I put my hands on her hips. I pull her closer and she barely resists.

"Then prove it."

I can feel her breath on my lips and it makes me lick her top lip.

"You say you're in love with me then prove it, kiss me."

I feel her hand on my cheek.



I know she wants to, but I won't do it for her.

"Faith I… I… I can't…"

She pushes me away and I let her go.

She couldn't do it.

"Why not…?"

"It… It wouldn't be right…"

She keeps saying that.

"You keep saying that but it doesn't change the way we feel."

"No it doesn't…"

"Then why can't we just… act? I'm not asking you to marry me; all I'm asking for is for you to kiss me. Why is that so hard? It's just a kiss."

"B-Because… one kiss will lead to another, and then another and that will lead to… OTHER stuff which… fun as that stuff might be would only end up hurting both of us."


"Because… because sooner or later you'll, you'll get your memory back and then, and then everything will change and, and probably not for the b-better. I couldn't take it if, if that happened. I don't know if, if I could live with myself… knowing what we had, what we could've had."

She's already planning for the worst.

"Buffy you've already decided that it's not gonna work out between us and we haven't even done anything yet. You can't know what's gonna happen, it's not like it's written anywhere or anything."

"B-But it is I mean I think it is… there's a prophecy thing those vampire cultish guys are afraid of. Prophecies never end well."

"Okay but there's no way to know for sure that this prophecy is even about us, or you for that matter."

"What do you mean?"

"Well if you haven't noticed these vampires do seem to want me dead more than anyone else, you just happened to be there to save my life every time."

She starts to walk away and then turns around.

"Okay but that just proves my point. What if I'm not there the next time you get attacked? Or what if I'm there but I can't help you stop them? You could die, or both of us."

"Okay but there's no way to know for sure. Buffy we can't put our lives on hold because of what might happen."

I walk over and take her hand in mine and place it on my chest.

"We feel something for each other and that's all that matters."

She looks down at her hand on my chest. I'm sure she can feel my heart pounding in her chest. Her hand starts shaking.

"F-Faith I… I…"

She takes her hand away.

"I can't…"

I turn around and start walking away.

"Then maybe I should go find some place else to stay I-I don't think I can sleep in the same room with you."

I hear her come after me and grab my left arm. Her touch makes me stop in my tracks.

"Faith wait, don't… we're, we're stronger together and, and until we know what we're dealing with we'd… I'D feel better if you stayed with me."

I feel her take my hand in hers and I look into her longing eyes.

I don't have the heart to turn her down.

"All right…"

We start walking away form the Bronze, home to Buffy's dorm room.

Oh wait…

"What about Spike?"

She shrugs it off.

"Meh, he's evil. He'll get over it."

I guess she's right. She kisses my hand and we walk home, hand in hand. She may want to do the right thing but she can't do the right thing forever. Sooner or later I'll get her in a place where I can kiss her, and when I do, she'll kiss me back. I know it.

Chapter 49
Prelude of Fate

Buffy's POV

Why do I keep having this dream? I'm standing in front of Faith. I throw three easy punches and she dodges them quickly like she always does. Even though I know what's coming next I don't stop it, not that I'm all that sure I'd want to. Faith ducks and before I know it I'm flat on my back. She crawls on top of me, pinning me down. She leans into me and her warm breath makes me all warm and fuzzy in a down low kinda way.

She leans in more and I feel her lick my bottom lip and it makes me squirm. God I wish she would kiss me. And then she does.

I open my eyes.

Oh come on, we were just getting to the good part.

I let out a deep sigh and roll over on my side. Damn it, I grab my head as a major headache hits me like a ton of bricks.

Now I remember why I hate alcohol, not to mention the last time I had beer I turned into a weird prehistoric cave-slayer thing.

I look down at Faith and she's still sleeping.

She's so cute when she's sleeping. She looks so peaceful lying there; I don't think the old Faith slept so peacefully.

I start to reach down to brush the hair out of her face but I stop myself.

You can't keep doing this; it'll only make things worse later. You know it and you still can't stop thinking about her. Just because you're in love with her doesn't mean things will be okay. Sometimes love isn't enough, I learned that from everything that went on with Angel.

I let out a deep breath.

You know if the Powers That Be were gonna get me to fall for Faith you'd think they'd at least let me finish my dreams. Let me finish myself off… so to speak.

She stirs in her sleep before opening her eyes and looking up at me. She smiles at me and I swear my heart stops for a few seconds.

"Good morning."

My heart starts beating again and I manage to speak.

"Good morning yourself…"

"You know… I could get used to waking up next to you in the morning."

The feeling's mutual.

"I know the feeling."

Did I just say that out loud?

I sit up and the throbbing pain in my head comes back.

"S-so, how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay I guess…"

I look down at her as she sits up and grabs her head in pain.

"Damn… I could do without the mind numbing headache though."

"Yeah, we should definitely lay off the alcohol from now on."

"I agree with that, no more alcohol. So, what are we doing today?"

Right, doing things will take our minds off what we really want to do.

"Well…. I figured we'd get some coffee for our massive headaches before we head over to the gym to train some more."

"Sounds like a plan… I guess."

I scooch down to the end of the bed and get out of bed and stretch myself out.

"If anything last night proved that you're not quite back to your old self, slayer-wise."

"Yeah I'd have to agree with that, especially after my near-death experience last night."

I walk over to my dresser and fiddle through my clothes.

Maybe I should give her back some of her old clothes. They are hers after all.

"Well we'll just have to keep training until you're just as good as you used to be, maybe even better."

I pick one of Faith's old outfits and lob it to her.

"What's this?"

"Well they're clothes, you put them on."

"I know that, why are you giving them to me?"

"Cause they're yours and I figured I should give them back to you."

"Oh well, I appreciate… that."

I turn around and she's holding up the short black tank top I gave her. She's got a weird look on her face.

"What's wrong?"

She puts the top over her shoulder as she picks up the red leather pants and feels the material.

"Well… what am I, some kind of slut?"

I probably shouldn't answer that.

I turn back to my dresser and keep going through my clothes.

"No comment."

"Oh great, so not only am I an evil killing machine but now I find out I'm some kind of leather wearing sex crazed dominatrix evil killing machine."

Okay clearly I should've commented.

I turn around and rush over to her, kneeling beside her on the floor.


I take her hand in mine and she looks me in the eyes.

"You're not evil you just… you made some bad choices, we all make them. It doesn't make you evil. And… well, we all like sex Faith. You just happen to like more than most… people."

She looks at me with a look of longing on her face and it dawns on me that sex is probably not a topic I should talk to Faith about. I let go of her hand and head back to my dresser.

"And as for the clothes, they're good for slaying, really flexible."

"If you say so, they seem kinda tight and binding to me."

It goes well with her body… I did NOT just think that. I thought I was gonna stop having these thoughts.

"Well put them on and find out."

I finally pick out some clothes to put on and turn to face her.

"Okay I will."

"Good, I'm gonna go change in the bathroom. You can change out here if you like, I promise I won't look."

What the hell am I saying?

I look at Faith and she smiles at me. After a few moments, I turn and go into the bathroom.

I'm doing the right thing, I know I am.

Spike's POV

I take a swig of the whiskey bottle in my hand.

God damn it, I can't get the slayer taste out of my mouth… I've been drinking this whiskey all night and I can still taste her on my lips, fucking bitch.

I throw the bottle away as I get near the opening of the cave.

"What the FUCK is wrong with you?"

I walk into the cave and the bastard yells at me.

"Nothing's wrong with me, unless you count this bleeding chip in my head. What's wrong with you mate?"


Hmm, I light up a fag and take a drag.

"Nothing's coming to me."

"Then that chip in your head is making you even more brain dead then you already are."

"Hey, I may be brain dead but at least I'm using my head. Now what are you on about?"

"You killed 6 of my men, what do you think I'm ON about?"

I take another drag of my cig and blow the smoke in John's direction. He ain't to happy about that.

"I'm still not getting your point mate."

I know exactly what he's talking about, I just like watching him get angry.

"Well I ASSUMED the reason you needed back up to go see the slayers was to kill the bitches not getting drunk with them."

He's such a knob.

"You're not using your head you tar. You can't beat this slayer with a head on attack, believe me I've tried. And with another slayer to help her, one I'm sure is being taught all the little tricks of the trade, the Scoobies are more powerful than ever. The only way to get to this slayer is to get inside your head, Angelus taught me that, course he got himself a one way ticket to hell for his troubles but I'm taking a less drastic approach. As far as the slayers know I just saved their rather firm asses from some of your boys."

"Okay, but how does that help us?"

I wish he'd start thinking for himself instead of just taking orders like a ponce.

"He's on the inside."

"THANK you. At least jigsaw boy over there understands me. I'm working the Scoobies from the inside. Think about it, the first time this Faith girl meets me I save her life, whether Buffy likes it or not Faith trusts me now. She didn't exactly say it but that little Buffy bitch had no intension of having drinks with me, but then Faith talked to her and we were on our merry way."

"Okay so how does this help us?"

For the love of Kensington, how did this loser live so long by being so stupid?

"Now I'm on the inside, I can let you know what they're planning."

"Right, okay so did you learn anything from your little drunkcapade, something that I don't already know about at least?"

"Yeah actually I did."

I take another puff of my fag.

"Well what is it?"

"This Faith chick you're so worried about?"


"She's got no memory."


"She's got amnesia."

"Damn it…"

"What's wrong?"

"Phase 3 can't happen until she gets her memory back."

"We can't, postponing Phase 3 could ruin everything."

"Well life's that way some time mate."

"This isn't good; I'll have to talk it over with my partner. Damn it."

He walks past me and leaves the cave.

"I'll be back."

SOME ONE'S not gonna be HAPPY. Ah hell, what do I care?

Chapter 50
A fate sealed with a kiss

Buffy's POV

A flying fist comes at me and it whizzes past my face as I barely dodge it.

"Good, good Faith…"

I deflect a few follow up punches

She's getting really good; I'm actually breaking a sweat.

I try and kick her but she grabs my leg.

"I got your leg."

I jump over my own leg, making sure my left leg goes right over her head. Her hands twist so quickly that she has to let go and I struggle to get my balance. I sorta half smile at her as my feet are firmly on the ground.

"Got it back…"

She smiles back at me which gives me an opening to counter attack. So I do. I start with a roundhouse kick which she dodges. I follow with a flurry of punches, all of which she manages to deflect.

Great, if this keeps up she'll definitely be ready the next time she goes up against a vampire or two.


She tries for a spinning forearm and I'm not ready for it so I block it but I stumble back a few steps in the process.

"Do you think Mr. Giles has found anything yet?"

I probably should've called him this morning and told him we were coming by today.

I grab Faith's arm as she tries for a gut shot and I try and to twist it behind her back. But she twists quickly the other way and I have to let go.

"I dunno, he's usually really good at the research thing…"

I try for a left cross which was a bad idea what with me being right handed and all. Faith shoves me off balance but I manage to roll through it and get on my feet.

"But I have a feeling in order for us to get the whole story we're gonna have to get our hands on that Karameth book."

She tries for a roundhouse kick and I duck it but when I do I use a leg sweep to take her off her feet. I stand up and look down at her.

"Come on Faith, you can do better than that."

Faith bucks her hips and uses the momentum to stand up in a fighting stance.

"Okay then, I will."

I don't give her a chance to do better, I throw three punches at her and I get a major case of déjà vu. I snap back to reality just long enough to have Faith take me off my feet with a leg sweep.

Ow! Okay this really is getting a little too real for my reality. She climbs on top of me and part of me is hoping that this will end up like my dream… but the other part of me is panicking from fear.


I squirm as she sits her whole weight on my hips, pinning me down.

"What are you… doing?"

She smiles down at me.

"Taking what I want, isn't that what I do?"

What does she mean?

She leans in slightly. All I can get out is…


I start to breath deeper and so does she.

"When you were talking you said I used to have a saying. Want, take, have… well I want you…"

I try and move her off me but she grabs my arms and pins them above my head.

Again I feel like déjà vu has got the better of me as my whole body tingles with heat.

"And right now it looks like I, HAVE you…"

I try to get my hands free but she's got too hard a grip on them. She leans in and whispers to me.

"I guess there's only one thing left to do eh?"

I feel her breath on me and I stop thinking.

"F-Faith… we, we shouldn't…"

"Yes… we should…"

She kisses me and it's everything I thought it would be… everything I dreamed it would be. I start to kiss her back and my whole body gets into it. Her lips are warm and inviting and incredibly soft. She lets go of my wrists and I don't push her away. I run my hands through her hair and pull her closer. I feel like a surge of energy goes through me and into Faith and I know this is right.

She means everything to me; she completes me in a way I've never known before. She's everything I'm not and she makes me better for it. Another surge goes through me, this time from Faith into me. I love her with everything that I am.

She breaks the kiss between us and looks down at me.

And then she takes my 'everything' away.

She gets this weird look on her face, a look I haven't seen since…

"Faith, are, are you okay?"

"I'm five by five B, how about you?"

Oh… my… god.

Part 51

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