Forgotten Conscience
Two roads, one path
By Christopher Andrews


Chapter 96
Getting over it

Willow's POV

"We have a problem."

Buffy slams a piece of paper down on Giles' coffee table right in front of me.

"Buffy, I didn't see you come in."

She all but ignores me as she pulls a stool over and sits down.

"Or more to the point I have a problem."

"How are you Buffy? Did you heal okay?"

"I healed okay. I took a nap and I'm fine Giles."

Why don't I believe her?

"What's going on? What's this?"

I pick up the pink piece of paper and start looking it over.

'Dear Ms. Summers… are terminating the rest of your tenure… a Sunnydale citizen who… a number of murders last year… in violation of campus policy… vacate the premises completely by next week.'


"This doesn't make any sense. They can't do this."

"You read the letter you know why they're doing it. They can and they are doing this."

"What? What's happening?"

I hand Xander the note and he reads it.

"Buffy's being kicked out of University."

Xander and Giles have the same thought.


Buffy runs her fingers through her hair.

"Yeah I know."

We can do something about this.

"Well we can, we can fight this. We'll take it to the Council for Student Rights."

Xander pipes in.

"Yeah, we can fight this tooth and nail until…"

"I don't want to."


"What do you mean? We can fight this we can make them keep you in school."

"I don't want to fight it."

She doesn't want to fight it?

"What do you want to do?"

"I just want to move out and never come back."

Why doesn't she want to fight back? Buffy always fights back, but she doesn't want to this time. It's like she's just given up. Why would she do that?

"But Buffy…"

"I can't. It's just… there are too many um… things I… I don't want to remember. I think the best thing for me is just to leave."

I get it now, this is about Faith. She was staying with Buffy there when they… when she fell for Faith. She doesn't want to be reminded of what happened between them.

"What are you gonna do?"

She's trying to forget her.

"Well I, I told her about Faith… about how she was back and, and about her being good now and all that but I…"

She stops, unsure of how to finish the sentence.

"You didn't tell her about you and Faith? About how things changed between you…"

She drops her head into her hands as if she's about to cry.

She didn't tell her mom.

"I wanted to… I was going to I just, I couldn't get the words out."

She didn't tell her mom because she knows they aren't getting back together, because she's trying to let go and move on.

"What do you want us to do Buffy? How can we help?"

She lifts her head up, sniffling with tears in her eyes.

"Would you guys, help me move? Help me get all my stuff out of my dorm before they confiscate it or something."

"Of course Buffy, we'll help in any way we can."

"Thank you, guys."

"Should we contact Faith? She may wish to help."

"No I… I don't want to bother her with something like this. It's not important."

"You are getting kicked out of University, I'm certain she would wish to help."

"It, it's not life and death stuff, we should probably just let her be."

This doesn't sound like someone who wants to get back with the woman she loves.


Xander breaks the silence we've fallen into.

"Well what about Willow?"


"What about me?"

"Well, the letter doesn't say anything you Will. It just says dear Ms. Summers."

I spent so much time thinking about Buffy's situation, I never even considered how it would affect me.

"Are you gonna stay there?"

"Well I… I dunno, I… I hadn't really thought about it. I guess I could stay but, I don't think I want to. So much has happened there, I don't think I could sleep knowing what happened. But I wanna finish school."

"What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know."

"W-Well I… if you w-want you can j-just stay w-with me."


"You can m-move in with m-me per-permanently."

She smiles at me.

That's a big step… but we're ready. We love each other that much.

I reach out and squeeze her hand.

"Thank you."

She squeezes my hand back and her smile widens.

"Any-anything for you…"

"Well it looks like everyone has a place to go."

I guess they do.

"Yeah I guess we do Xander."

I look over at Buffy who quickly looks away from Tara's hand in mine.

She misses being this close to someone. I wish there was something I could do to help. Maybe Tara's right, maybe I should go talk to Faith. But I still don't know what to say.

"I'm gonna go, start packing."

Chapter 97
Moving out but not moving on

Willow's POV

Okay that's it I have to talk to Faith.

I walk down the hall to Tara's room, carrying with me the last of my stuff to be moved in.

It's been three days since Buffy found out she was being kicked out of University and she's been a wreck ever since. She may have taken the bandages off, but we could all tell she is still torn up inside. Faith hasn't called or come by at all to see how Buffy was doing after the big Adam showdown. What kind of person does that? What kind of person doesn't even call to check up on someone they claim to care about?

Buffy's trying to act like it doesn't matter, like she doesn't notice Faith's apparent lack of interest in her well being, but she does. She's devastated she's just putting on a brave face.

I walk up to Tara's door and go inside. I start to look for a place to put my boxes down.

It wasn't until we were loading the last of her stuff in the truck that I realized that Buffy wasn't getting over Faith and probably never would, not completely.

I was coming back to our former dorm room to see if we had left anything and I found Buffy sitting on her former bed, caressing the mattress gently and looking around the room. I approached her cautiously, noticing the tears in her eyes.


She sniffles and looks at me.

"She loved me here you know? She didn't say it in so many words, but she did. I know she did. And I loved her back. I still love her back."

I sat down next to her on the bed.


"We were happy here. We didn't know it at the time but we were."

She wrapped her arms around me as the tears start to pour.

"We were happy here. We were happy once.. and now I have to leave it all behind. The way Faith left me behind."

And that's when it hit me. That's when I knew there was only one thing I could do to help her, there was only one person who can make Buffy okay again.

I put my arms around her.

"Maybe you should go see her. Tell her you're sorry. Tell her what's happening, I'm sure she'd feel bad for not being there for that."

She pulls away, drying her eyes and composing herself.

"No I… I don't want to guilt her into being with me. She'd only end up hating me for it later on. I don't wanna do that to her."


Then she got up and started to look around the room, the tears still evident in her eyes.

"Well, it looks like we got everything doesn't it?"

I looked around the empty room.

"Yeah, I guess we did."

"All right, let's go then."

I got up and she started to leave.


"You know, I think I'm gonna go scope out the Bronze tonight. Maybe see if there are a few vamps I can pound on for a while."


"Yeah… that sounds like fun."

Then she left and I eventually followed her. Ever since then all I could think about was moving everything in so I could go talk to Faith. I nearly dropped a bunch of boxes when we moved Buffy in I was so distracted.

I finally find a place to put the last of my stuff and Tara comes in.

"Hey baby, is that the last of it?"

"I-I think so. Mr. Giles said he'd take Xander and Anya h-home before he took the truck back."


I put my arms around her waist.

"How was Buffy?"

She gets the said look on her face.

"Hurting… but that's to b-be expected."

That's gonna change.

"Well I think she'll be feeling better soon."

"I don't know I… I don't see how."

"Well if I can convince Faith to forgive her I bet her mood will change."

She all but jumps into my arms in joy.

"Really? Y-you mean it?"

"Yeah… you were right Tara. Buffy isn't gonna be okay unless Faith makes her that way, and the only way for that to happen is they have to be together."

She kisses me.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

She kisses me a little more passionately.

"I may not be their biggest fans, but I'll learn to live with it. For Buffy's sake."

"What made you change your mind?"

"Buffy, actually."


"Well it's, it's kinda hard to explain but… I saw what she's been going through the past couple days and, well I want to help her."



"When what?"

"When are you gonna g-go talk to her?"

"Well I thought you know now might be a good time. Now is as good a time as any right?"

"Yeah, right…"

She steps back and smiles.

"You s-should go."

"I don't have to."

"No, it… Buffy will thank you for it."

I let go of Tara.

"You're right we'll celebrate moving in together later."


I kiss her gently before leaving.

"I'll be back."

Chapter 98
All you need is love

Faith's POV

What am I doing? What the hell is wrong with me? I care about Buffy, you could even say I l-l… I really, really care about Buffy. So what am I doing here? What am I doing pacing around my motel room? I'm staying away from Buffy is what I'm doing. I might l… care about her a lot but she accused me of murdering Riley. I admit I didn't really like him but I'd never kill him. I don't do that anymore, not since… the point is she accused me of murder, and I'm not gonna just forgive and forget that no matter how much I might want to.

No matter how much I might want to go to her and kiss her and tell her that everything was all right, that as long as we're together nothing else matters. But I'm not going to. She made her choice and now she has to live with that, even if I don't want her to. She has to… and yet, I can't stop thinking about her. I can't stop wondering if she's healing okay.

Giles said she's gonna be okay but, somehow that only made it a little bit better. Maybe I should go see her, make sure she's all right.

I walk towards the door but stop myself.

Maybe I shouldn't, it would be too much of a temptation. I'll call her… I'll call Giles and find out how she's feeling.

I go over to the phone and pick it up. There's a knock at the door.

Who could that be?

I hang up the phone and look at the door.

Could it be her? Could she be coming to see me? Could she be checking up on me? Making sure I haven't skipped town. Well, I'll have to ask her.

I start toward the door.

For all I know the world could be coming to an end again and she might need my help.

I reach the door and open it.

I did after all I did promise to…


I step back and cross my arms over my chest.

"Hey Faith how's it going?"

Why is she trying to be nice?

I turn back into my room.

"What do you want Red? I'm kinda busy right now."

She looks around the place.

"Yeah I can see you're real busy with the lack of things to do."

I turn around to see her come in the door.

"Did you want something?"

"I came to talk."


"You came to talk did you?"


"Are you sure that's it?"

I get up close, a little too close for her liking.


"I'm thinking, you heard about what went on between B and I and you came to get a piece of me yourself. After all, the four of us seem to be playing for the same team…"

I slip a leg between her thighs, putting as much of my body against hers as possible.

"You, me, Tara… and Buffy."

She pushes me away.

"I came here to talk to you about Buffy."

I let out a sigh and roll my eyes at her.

"What about her?"

"She's a wreck."


"Is she?"

"Yes, she is. Look I'll admit, I don't know everything that went on between you two, mainly because I was kept in the dark about it until recently, but what I do know is that Buffy is hurting. And she wouldn't be hurting this much if she didn't believe that there was something between you."

"There was…"

I take a deep breath and run a hand through my hair.

"There still is."

"Then go to her and tell her that. She needs to hear you tell her that."


"Why what?"

"Why should I be the one who goes to her? She's the one who screwed up. She should be the one coming to me."

"Didn't she?"


"She went after you when she found out you didn't kill Riley. You can't tell me she went after you to discuss weather patterns."

"She apologized, and apologized, and apologized… doesn't mean she meant it."

"She meant it. Trust me she meant it."


"Even still…"

I move to go to the fridge for a cold one but her words stop me.

"She got kicked out Faith."



"She got kicked out of University."


"How? Why? When?"

"You remember how Riley died right outside Buffy's room?"

How could I forget?


"Well the Dean decided that, that whole thing was Buffy's fault, so they kicked her out."


"But that wasn't her fault I mean, the vampires they…"

"And I'm sure once we tell the Dean that they'll just let her back in."

"Right of course. But she's fighting it right? I mean she's not going down without a fight right?"

"Actually that's exactly what she's doing. She moved out today."

Why didn't she call me?

"She should've called me, I would've…"

"You would've what? Yelled at her some more? She's barely hanging on by a thread with the things you've already apparently said. I don't think she could go another round."

"I had every right to say what I said after what she did, and I had every right to be angry too."

"Yeah you did. You had every right to be angry with her."

"Thank you."

"But what you don't have a right to do is STAY angry with her."

"I'm sorry?"

"Faith when two people are in a relationship and they care about each other, yeah they fight and they get angry, but at the end of the day they forgive each other and move on."

"So this is what you're here for eh? To play Cupid to me and B. To get me to move on. Well the only problem is I haven't heard a word you've said cause truthfully? I don't like you."

"This isn't about you and me Faith this is about you and Buffy. You can hate me all you like. That's fine with me because, I don't like you much either… but Buffy loves you. So really there's only one question I have left. Do you love her?"

Do I… do I love Buffy?

"It… it doesn't matter how I feel, all that matters is what she did. She accused me of murder."

"She made a mistake Faith we all make them sooner or later. And it does matter how you feel, because if you do love her in your heart of hearts, then what she did doesn't matter because deep down all you care about is her. So tell me Faith… do you love her?"

I close my eyes as her words make me wanna cry. And then I say something I never thought I'd say.

"I do. I really do."

I look at Willow through watery eyes as she puts her hands on my shoulders.

"Then tell her that."

I wipe the tears from my eyes.

"But… but what if I can't? I mean, I've never said… that, to anyone before."

"Then show her. Show her you love her and she'll know it's true."


She gives me a clear path to the door.


"Where? Where do I find her?"

"She said she was gonna go to the Bronze tonight, probably to drown her sorrow. But you can fix that. She's probably there now, go."

I sprint for the door but stop before leaving.


"Just go. Thank me later, find her now."

And with that, I'm off like a lighting bolt. Off to find the woman I love, and tell her so.

Chapter 99
Magic Movie Moments

Buffy's POV

Oh god that tastes horrible… but it's alcoholic and right now that's the best thing for me. Getting drunk is the only way I'm ever gonna forget how I feel about Faith. It's the only way I'll ever forget that we'll never be together the way we should be. Not that I ever will, forget about Faith I mean. Getting drunk is easy it just takes lots and lots of beers. It's forgetting Faith that'll take some work. It'll take more than just this one beer I've got anyway.

I take another swig of my beer but it doesn't help.

I'll never forget Faith she's too much a part of me. She's in every part of me, in my heart, my soul. I'll never get over her.

The song the band is playing comes to a close and I look up at the stage.

They're a pretty good band the lead singer's got some pipes on her too. I think she said her name was Avril Lavigne. Course it would help me like her if she didn't sing nothing but love songs. God how I hate those songs right now. I so don't need to be reminded of what I've lost.

You know in a perfect world Faith would come through the door as the next song came on. She'd come in, she'd kiss me and forgive me for what I did, just like in the movies. She'd forgive me for what I did and kiss me and I'd take her home and make love to her all night long… if this were like the movies.

I take a drink of my beer and I cringe at the taste.

In a perfect world that's the way this night would happen.

I take another drink.

But this isn't a perfect world far from it… this world sucks. Why the hell do I keep saving it anyway? Maybe the next time the end of the world comes along I'll just let it come. God knows it'd be better than living the rest of my life without her.

The next song starts up and I find myself looking toward the door, hoping maybe she might be there, but she's not.

"I'm standing on the bridge…"

She' not GOING to be there.

"I'm waiting in the dark…"

I gotta accept that.

"I thought that you'd be here, by now…"

I take a drink of my beer and the tears stream down my face.

"There's nothing but the rain, no footsteps on the ground…"

I look toward the door again and…

Oh my god, Faith?

She comes through the door and looks around.

"I'm listening but there's, no sound…"

Our eyes meet and it's like the whole world goes away and there's just us. She walks toward me and I don't know what to do.

What is she…? Why is she…?

Before I know it she's standing in front of me, looking at me with those beautiful eyes of hers, nothing but love in them. I don't know what to say as she gets closer, her eyes never leaving mine. The chorus strikes up and she takes me in her arms and kisses me like I've never been kissed before. I bring my arms up, taking her head in my hands to kiss her back harder.


We break our kiss finally and look into each other's eyes, my tears of pain now tears of joy. I don't know what to say as she smiles at me but lucky for me she speaks first, whispering to me softly.


She wipes away the tears on my cheeks with her thumbs.

"I'm sorry."

"Oh no… oh no Faith I'm so… I'm so sorry, I should've…"

"Ssh, it's all right. None of that matters now. All that matters is right here, right now. All that matters is you and me, and this…"

She kisses me gently and passionately.

"I love you Faith."

"I know… I know exactly how you feel."

I kiss her passionately before squeezing her in a tight embrace. I whisper in her ear.



"I want you to come back with me."


"Come back to my place with me."

She pulls back slightly to look at me.

"Are you sure?"

God yes.

"I'm sure."

"W-What about your mom?"

"She's gonna be away all night at the gallery. We can be alone all night together."

"You mean it?"

I push the hair back out of her face to really look at her.

"I… I don't want to spend another night without you Faith. I don't want to spend another night without you next to me while I sleep. I want to feel your body against mine. I want to know that all I have to do is look down at you and feel completely happy. So come back to my place with me… please?"

She doesn't say anything she just looks at me and smiles.

We don't need words to express the volumes of text we see in each other's eyes.

She takes my hand in hers and we leave. We leave for an experience neither of us will ever forget.

Chapter 100
Two into one

Faith's POV

"Oh Faith…"


We pretty much crash through Buffy's bedroom door, groping and pawing at each other as we do. I kick the door closed.


I start to kiss down her neck sucking on it gently. I take her right breast in my hand, massaging it, sending her reeling.

"Faith, kiss me…"

I work my way back up her neck, along her chin and kiss her lips passionate like. We move toward the bed, me grabbing at her pants, her tugging at my shirt trying to pull it off me. Her pants come undone as we hit the foot of the bed and she falls on top of it. She looks up at me standing over her, the incredible eyes of the woman I love staring into my soul as I pull my shirt over my head and throw it across the room. She looks up at my exposed flesh. Her voice fills with desire as she sits up wrapping her arms around my waist and kisses my stomach.

"Faith… you're so, so beautiful… I love you…"

I put my hands on her head as she kisses her way up my stomach, between my breasts, until we're face to face again standing at the foot of the bed.

"I know I feel it too. I feel it in every part of me, in my heart and soul."

She kisses me and grabs my body, pulling me down on to the bed and climbing on top of me. She takes her shirt off and throws it on the floor before straddling me. She leans down, pressing our flesh together as our lips meet. She whispers my name and she kisses her way back down my body.



She kisses me twice on the chest just above my breasts making my whole body convulse with pleasure. I feel her hot breath against my breasts, centering over my erect nipple. She flicks her tongue over my nipple and my hips buck into hers. I can't help but moan as he lips press against my naked flesh, sucking my left breast into her mouth. I let out an audible gasp as her tongue swirls around my areola. After a few moments of sucking she switches breasts, teasing my left nubbin with her thumb while sucking on the right.


I arch my body into her touch as she sucks on my breast.


Her hands glide down my body, nearly setting me off right there as our eyes meet. She reaches down and starts to undo my pants.

"This really is happening…"

She kisses me.

"Oh yeah…"


"We're really gonna do this…"

The button snaps on my leathers and I take her hands in mine, stopping her.

"Wait, Buffy…"

Her left hand cradles my cheek.


"Are we really gonna do this?"

"I want to… don't you?"

I reach up, tangling my finger in her hair.

"Of course I do I just… I don't want to wake up tomorrow and find out this was all a mistake. I couldn't take that."

"It's not."


"Faith, I love you. Do you love me?"

"Yes, with all that I am."

"Then nothing we do tonight could ever be a mistake."


She kisses me and slips her fingers under my belt line, pulling my pants down over my hips, my thighs and completely off taking my thong with it. She moves back up my body leaving her hands down around my pelvis.

I never thought it'd be like this, never in my wildest dreams. With her, it's like nothing I've ever known.

She kisses her way down my body… ALL the way down.

Every desire anticipated every need satisfied. No one has ever made me feel this way and the more I feel it the more it makes me want her.

Her hands graze my thighs and I part them for her, letting her in. She moves between my legs, raising my knees as she crouches between my thighs. My whole body shudders as her breath hits my pussy, breathing hard into me.

"I-I'm not really sure what I'm… d-doing."

"You don't have to, if you don't want to."

"But… but I want to. I want to make you feel good. I just, wanted you to know in case I wasn't you know… good."

I reach down and push her hair out of her face as she looks up at me.

"You could never be bad at making me feel good B."

She dives in, licking and kissing my pussy in all the right places, sending me into wave after wave of ecstasy.


I close my eyes as my head thrashes from side to side as another wave hits me. Her tongue brushes my clit and my whole body arches upward nearly pushing me over the edge. I come down off that incredible high and she's looking down at me.

"Oh Buffy that was…"

She quiets me with a kiss and I can taste myself on her lips. It makes me kiss her harder.

"Faith… I love you…"

I put my arms around her and turn the woman I love over. I kiss her deep and passionately.

"Buffy… you're everything I ever wanted, you know that?"

"I know Faith, I know."

I kiss my way down her body, making her moan and convulse with every touch of my lips. I take the left bra strap between my teeth and pull it down over her shoulder. I brush the other strap down off her shoulder. I reach down and unclasp her bra, pushing the lacy fabric aside revealing her beautiful breasts. I look down at her body and it's like my heart stops. She arches her body into mine to throw her bra away and I kiss between her breasts to hear her moan.

"God you're amazing B. I don't think I realized just how amazing you were till now."

Our lips connect short and sweet like. I fiddle with her pants. Her button comes undone and I start to take her pants off.

"Buffy… I've waited so long for this. I've waited so long to taste you."

Her pants come off and I can't help but run my hands along her naked legs.



I kiss her deeply, my tongue entering her inviting mouth. My hand glides down between her legs pressing my fingers against her sweet sex, over her panties. Her hips gyrate as I move my fingers over her pussy.


I plant a kisses across her chest and then move down to her areola of pleasure. I suck on her tit, flicking my tongue over her nipple. Her whole body arches into my touch, moaning uncontrollably.



I switch breasts as I rub her pussy harder making her groan louder.

"Oh Faith…"

I lift my lips from her breast to look at her, my hand never leaving her thighs.

"Make love to me Faith, oh god make love to me."

"I will…"

I pull her panties off, grazing my fingers over her silky white skin. She shudders with pleasure as I throw her panties across the room. She opens her legs to me and I lean down, pressing as much of my body against hers as I can.


I brush her hair out of her face and look down into her eyes.

It's like she's staring into my soul, filling me with her love, and vice-versa.

"I love you…"

"I know."

I kiss her deeply and quickly before moving down her body on the bed. I lie down between her legs, kissing both her thighs as I prepare for what I'm about to do.


I take a deep breath and her hips move to the feeling of my breath on her naked crotch. I kiss her pussy lips and her eyes roll back in her head. I lick my lips, tasting my love's sweet nectar on them.

God she tastes incredible.

I start to lick and suck at my lover's inner folds sending her into fits of ecstasy with every flick of my tongue. Her whole body surges as my tongue enters her. She moans my name as I tease her clit.


Every time her body moans and gasps to my touch I can't help but want to hear it more. Every time my name escapes her perfect lips I try harder and faster to hear it again.


I slip my index finger into her and her muscles clench around it. I start to push into her again and again, her hips buck back into my thrusts.


I lift my head slightly as I push a second finger inside her.

"Buffy… Buffy I…"

"F-Faith w…"

She takes my head in her hands, lifting it more, my fingers still inside her.


I move my way up her body, staring down into her eyes.

"Don't… please don't ask me to stop… not after…"

"No… I would never ask you… I just…"

Her left hand grabs my hip, her right sliding down between my sweaty thighs pressing her fingers against my pleasure center. I let out a deep gasp and nearly collapse on top of her as I feel two of her fingers enter me.

"We should do it… together… I want us to…"

She stops mid sentence as I push my two fingers deeper into her. She pushes her own fingers into me and my knees go weak on either side of her body. Our eyes lock as we start to pump into each other.



We start to thrust together in a perfect rhythm.

It's like we're thinking the same thoughts, feeling the same feelings. It's like we're pushing ourselves to each other's limits and together we have a new limit. Together we go to a new place as we thrust into each other harder and faster. A new place neither of us has been before and a place we'll come back to soon.



Our eyes never leave each other's gaze as the tension of what's coming builds between us. We move as one together as we push each other to the brink of everything we've waited for all this time. We kiss once before the feeling between us overtakes us and we scream each other's names.



Everything inside me just shatters, like a shattered mirror. All that pain and fear I've been holding inside just pours out of me, until all that's left is love. My love for her and the love I can see in her eyes for me as we look at each other, coming down off the earth shattering, mind blowing experience we've just been through. I lie down next to her, exhausted.

That's saying a lot. I've done a lot of things, with a lot of people. It takes a lot for me to feel… like that, but that was… my god.

She holds me in her arms and I hold her too. I feel the warmth of her skin against mine and I'm just… safe.

There is no bad here. There is no fear, no pain or anger or hate of any kind. I don't have to worry that tomorrow she's gonna wake up and tell me that it was all a big mistake. Because all there is, is us. Me and her, Buffy and me… and our love.

I lick my fingers clean and she does the same, lying in each other's arms on her bed, tasting each other's love. We kiss and she pulls the covers over us. She brushes the hair out of my face.

"I love you Faith."

I don't say a word. She knows how I feel, and I know how she feels… even if she had never said the words, I would know.

I just hold her a little tighter and rest my head against her shoulder. I close my eyes and just, exist. I let myself just bask in the glow of everything we've ever wanted. Unconsciousness slips into my head and I let it happen. I fall asleep in the arms of the one I love.

My one and only.

Part 101

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