DISCLAIMER: Guiding Light and its characters are the property of Proctor & Gamble. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sequel to Rainbows Just Fade Away Anyway, Don't They? The title is from this quote: Hark! The merry chimes are pealing, Soft and glad the music swells, Gaily in the night wind stealing, Sweetly sound the wedding bells. - Eliza Cook
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
FEEDBACK: To Geekgrrl.lurking[at]gmail.com
Gaily In the Night Wind Stealing
She holds on to your hand, clutching it tight, like it's a lifeline. And maybe that's exactly what it is, a way back into the light for both of your broken souls, scrambling desperately out of the gaping hole that was created so many years ago. This could be your fresh start, a rebirth, the promise of a new beginning, if you can both just get past the hurt and take this last leap of faith, together.
You're almost afraid to hope after all this time.
"I want to show you something." Olivia's smile is warm and mischievous, reminding you easily of the woman you knew so long ago and you can't stop the answering grin as you nod. You follow her, quickly making your way through the milling guests that the wedding planner is trying manage and head out of the garden. You notice a small pathway at the side of the mansion that you had missed earlier, with wait staff dashing back and forth as they prepare for the evenings festivities.
This side of the lawn is a flurry of activity, as tables have been set up for wedding guests with a small stage area where the band is doing a sound check. You are whisked past the stage and a small dance floor that has been set up on the lawn. The reception was apparently going to be held here, if white gauze and small white twinkle lights everywhere and servers busily lighting tea lights at every table is any indication.
Olivia looks back at you, watching for your reaction as she takes you a little further along the lawn, and you suddenly falter, gasping at what you see before you. It's clearly a replica of the gazebo from the park in Springfield, only smaller and overlooking the ocean, in a perfect spot to watch the crashing tide come in and the gloriously setting sun. You glance up at Olivia who is smiling sadly at you.
"I had it built when I bought the place and hoped someday, maybe I'd be able to share it with you." Olivia's eyes suddenly well with tears and your heart clenches, the pain of seven wasted years catching up with you both again. Quietly she leads the way, both of you eventually leaning against the rail, watching the restless waves churning below.
"Natalia," Olivia says softly, glancing down at your entwined fingers before looking back up into your eyes, the pad of her thumb drawing gentle circles across the back of your hand, distracting you. "I know there's a lot that we still need to discuss, but there's only one thing I need to know. What were you going to say if Jeffrey hadn't interrupted you?"
Tears unexpectedly prick at the back of your eyes and you flash back to that horrible moment when you thought you would lose her again, your heart thundering in your chest, breaking all over again. Taking a deep breath to calm your nerves, you stare into her eyes and know that there will be no more waiting and hiding between you any more.
"I love you, Olivia," You say instantly, without hesitation, finally speaking from the heart, from your very soul. And it feels so good to look her in the eye and say it, like a weight being lifted from your chest." I feel like I've loved you forever. I was prepared to stop the wedding and tell you that, in front of everyone gathered, and I would have if Jeffrey hadn't arrived. I should have told you that upstairs when I asked if you loved Michelle. I should have told you that in the cemetery over seven years ago, when you bared your soul to me. I'm so sorry," Tears spring to your eyes and you turn away. "You have no idea how sorry I am "
Olivia moves closer, and you feel her warmth at your back before her arms wrap around you, making you feel safe, as if you were finally where you belonged. You feel her sigh against your hair and you wait for her to speak.
"As I recall, I'm not blameless here either," Olivia's voice is low, ticking your ear as you try to focus on her words. "I wouldn't let you speak your heart. I thought we were doing the right thing too. God, I was such an idiot," Olivia said, shaking her head at all the mistakes along the way. "When we moved to California, my life was such a mess and it was my own damn fault. I was trying to do what was the best for everyone, and all I ended up doing was making us both miserable."
"Olivia, don't " You turn in her arms and start to defend her decisions, but she waves you off, shifting to your side and leaning against the gazebo rail next to you.
"I'm not proud of what happened after that. I drank." She glances down and then back up, staring at you, hard, lifting one of her eyebrows in that adorable way of hers to make her point. "I drank a lot. Until I finally realized just how much I was hurting the girls and myself. And then I just tried to keep busy, focusing on my work and I'm ashamed to say it, any warm body that caught my eye, men and then eventually women. And then Michelle came along, and for a while I thought it was enough, but it wasn't. She was just using me."
Olivia stares out over the ocean, the sun slowly dipping into the sea. "Then again, I suppose I had been using her too. I was looking to replace you in my heart, I guess, and I should have known " Her green eyes flick back to stare at you once more, the heat between you sparking back to life. "You're one of a kind."
You reach out and squeeze her hand, touched at her words. And you can see in the depths of her eyes that she means every one. Olivia sighs again and looks back out over the ocean.
"I actually thought about returning to Springfield a few years ago, just to be near you again, but I couldn't bring myself to disrupt your happily-ever-after, with your beautiful son. I visited once, finding you in the park playing with Nicky, he couldn't have been more than three or four. You looked so happy " Olivia's voice fades as she becomes lost in memory. She turns back to face you, her eyes once more shining with tears. " I I couldn't destroy that for my selfish desires. So I left again."
Your mind reels at how close she had been to rescuing you and you had no clue.
"God, Olivia," You turn to her and stare up into the saddest green eyes, reaching up to wipe away the moisture gathering there with the pad of your thumb. You smile softly as her eyes flutter shut and she leans into your touch, as you gently cup her cheek. "The only thing that made my days bearable was Nicky." Your own tears finally start to fall as you squeeze out the painful truth. "And the memories of you, of our time together. I wanted to leave Frank and that life I was trapped in so many times, but you had left me, leaving me there to deal with it all alone, without much more than a stilted goodbye. I thought you hated me."
You close your eyes, lost in the past, when you feel her arms wrapping around you, pulling you to her again. You're surrounded by her warmth, the scent of her perfume and something all Olivia soothing your mind and soul, and you hold on for dear life.
"I could never hate you," Olivia murmurs into your hair, as you snuggle closer, nuzzling into the crook of her neck. You never want to let her go, but she leans back so she can catch your eyes once more. "I love you, Natalia."
Your heart thunders in your chest and you wonder if she can hear it, if she knows that was the answer to a prayer you've been whispering to God for years.
"God, I love you, too," you whisper back, enjoying the taste of the word rolling in your mouth again, feeling as if a weight has been lifted from your soul, like the universe suddenly righted itself. And for a perfect moment, it is enough.
A gentle ocean breeze blows against your skin and you sigh, content that you are finally where you need to be, where you should have been all along. You soak up the warmth and security you feel in Olivia's strong arms, as she holds you close, almost as if she's afraid you will disappear. You know she needs to hear the rest as much as you need to say it, to clear the air and reveal the truth in your heart so that you can move forward to a brighter future, hopefully together. You reluctantly pull back from the safety of her embrace, wiping the tears from your cheeks as you try to form the right words.
"When I got the invitation from Emma and Ava, I felt like my last ray of hope was being snuffed out. I was suffocating, trapped in a life that I didn't want and with a man I didn't love. To add insult to injury was that I had willingly done it to myself. I'd gone into it with my eyes wide open, thinking that it would be the best for everyone." You move away from Olivia's warmth and move along the rail of the gazebo, turning from her intense stare to look out at the setting sun, lost in the swirling memories of your doomed relationship with Frank. "I should never have gone into a marriage with such low expectations. I should have known better and I have no one to blame but myself."
"Natalia," Olivia murmurs your name softly as she reaches out and softly touches your shoulder, bringing you back to the here and now as her simple movement soothes the ache in your chest. "I didn't help things either. I should have done so many things differently " You shake your head to stop her words, your eyes locking with hers, the years of sadness and pain bleeding through, lurking there just beneath the surface.
"Shhh you had nothing but my best interests at heart. We were scared, both of us, and I hurt you so badly. I see just how much agony my wedding must have caused you, and it breaks my heart." Tears well in your eyes, and you watch matching ones well in Olivia's as she shifts, not denying your words. "No, I should have never let it even get that far and because of my weakness we have all suffered, for far too long."
You sigh and turn away to stare out over the ocean again, the pain almost too much to bear. So much lost time, just thrown away, for what? You wipe away the falling tears and shake your head. God might forgive you, and possibly Olivia if you're very lucky, but you know you will never forgive yourself.
"Anyway, the wedding invitation arrived in the mail and I resigned myself to letting you go, letting that beautiful, impossible, dream of us go. And then I somehow found myself sitting at the gazebo in the park yesterday afternoon, watching Nicky play with the ducks as they floated past and I " You pause, and watch the crashing waves far below for a moment. You had been so alone and lost, it had seemed like there was no way out of the misery.
You shiver at the memory of the dark thoughts you had entertained, pulled from the memory of them now as Olivia's arms wrap around you from behind and she holds you close, nuzzling into your hair, her silent strength encouraging you to continue. You smile sadly and lean back into her warmth.
"I-I hit rock bottom, Olivia. My life was a mess and I was sinking fast. The thought of you getting married, to another woman no less, well, it just broke me. The only thing I could do was to pray. So I prayed for strength and wept as my son's laughter echoed around me."
You run a hand through your hair, the cool breeze from the ocean picking up a little as the sun begins to dip below the horizon. It would be getting late in Springfield, Nicky would already be asleep, safe in his little bed in the spare room at Buzz and Lillian's. He had been so excited when you dropped him off to stay with Pops and his Nan. Little did Nicky know that you were about to change his entire world. Olivia's arms tighten around you and you smile, knowing it was the right decision.
"I was slowly dying inside. The woman I used to be was withering away, a shadow of who I was meant to be, who God wants me to be. And I knew that there was no one who could save me from this, except myself." You shift and turn in Olivia's arms, noticing the tears on her cheeks. You smile up at her and gently wipe them away with your thumb.
"And whether you would be here at the end of this journey, or not, I realized that I needed to take care of me for a change. How else could I ever look Nicky in the eye? Or Rafe? Almost more importantly how could I ever look at myself in the mirror? So I called Mel and started the divorce proceedings, booked my ticket online and finally had a long talk with Frank, ending it."
You turn to stare out across the ocean once more, as the sun finally disappears into the sea. You can picture the look in your husband's eyes, when you tell him you want a divorce, the fear finally realized, and almost a hint of relief, as if he had been expecting this. He didn't even try to talk you out of it, simply standing and silently nodding, until you heard the sound of Frank's boots loud on the wide plank floor of the farmhouse as he left, muttering that he would be at Buzz and Lillian's.
You feel Olivia's gentle fingers running through your hair, tucking a stray lock behind your ear, and you sigh. Somewhere in the distance you hear the band start to play and the sound of people milling and talking. The real world is starting to intrude once more, but Olivia's touch grounds you and you turn to look up at her once more.
"And now you're here," Olivia whispers softly. "With me."
"If you'll still have me," you swallow hard, the cold fingers of fear clutching at your stomach as you look into Olivia's piercing green eyes. "I choose you, to be with you, to share my life and raise my family, with you. I know there's still so much to work out, there is nothing I can say to change the past, but I can only pray that there is some hope for the future."
"If I'll still have you?" Olivia snorts and then smiles, sending your heart soaring as she pulls you closer again, your bodies pressing flush against each other, making it hard for you to think, only wanting more of her, to be closer to her. Her finger tucks under your chin and tips your head back, to once more fall into the depths of her eyes. "Please, stay?"
Your breathing hitches and your eyes lock with hers. You see the pain there, and the overwhelming love reflecting back at you. There is plenty to still work out, to talk through and atone for. But in this frozen moment, there is only the two of you.
"Always." You smile, your heart leaping with joy as her smile lights up her face.
Olivia's head dips, bringing her ever closer as your eyes flutter shut
The very air around you seems to still in anticipation, as Olivia draws nearer and you wait breathlessly for the touch of her lips on yours. Instead though, you hear giggles and a discreet cough from somewhere behind you and then the rattling vibration of Olivia's annoyed growl. The warmth of her forehead bumps lightly against your own, pressing against you with an accompanying frustrated sigh and suddenly it feels just like old times again.
You don't know whether to laugh or cry.
"Wow, way to rebound, Mom. I think I've got whiplash." Emma's teasing voice breaks through the haze and your eyes blink open. You can't remain disappointed as you look past Olivia and see the biggest grins on the two young women standing there, looking at you both. Olivia smirks at you and then turns to her daughters, standing on the lawn watching. You see her lift her eyebrow and glare at them, but they simply giggle louder.
"We were wondering where you two had disappeared to," Ava says softly, resting her hands on her lower back to ease the discomfort of the baby pressing into her. "Clearly there was no need to worry." You feel the loss of Olivia's warmth as she shifts away, moving to address her daughters fully, smiling indulgently at both of them.
"We needed to talk." Olivia glances back at you and the tender smile on her face, meant for you alone, makes your heart sing.
"Is that what you're calling it now? Funny, there didn't seem to be a whole lot of talking going on," Ava sasses back, earning a snort and an appreciative elbow poke from Emma. It hits you how amazing it is that these two girls have grown into sisters. The time on the west coast together has been good for both of them. And for a moment you realize that maybe some things are meant to happen for a reason.
"You are so bad, " Emma chuckles and then turns serious again. " And for the record, can I just say that I am so glad Michelle is gone. I never did like her. And that whole plan of hers to ship me off to boarding school was so not cool."
"I never would have let that happen," Olivia frowns as Emma's words sink in. "Wait a minute, you knew about that?" Olivia raises an eyebrow as she most naturally slides a hand down and lets your fingers tangle together. She draws you along after her as steps out of the gazebo and down onto the grass to join her girls. A peace settles over you as you realize that it seems like the whole family has been waiting a long time for this, as if waiting for you to come and claim them as your own.
"Michelle wasn't very secretive about what she thought of me." Emma's voice is laced with anger, and her eyes seem to darken, speaking volumes, and you know there's a lot more there that the girl isn't saying. Your heart clenches, wishing you had been there to protect her, defend her. At the same time though, you know that you will have plenty of time to talk to her about it now.
"I'm sorry, baby. Michelle was " Olivia sighs, obviously not sure what to say about the whole sordid mess. "She was an error in judgment. A bad decision, that just got out of hand."
Sadly, Olivia glances back over at you and squeezes your hand, as if to reassure herself you are still there, at her side, giving her strength. Her eyes narrow, as if she is suddenly searching for something in your gaze. "I do that, every now and then."
Your eyes widen, and you know she's talking about leaving you with Frank all those years ago. You look down, as your shoes suddenly seem very interesting, the intensity of her gaze too much to take. Olivia's squeeze to your hand again draws your attention back up again and you see nothing but adoration in the green depths. So many mistakes, so much lost time, for both of you. Olivia smiles softly at you and gently pulls you closer to her. Slowly you all start to walk towards the gathered guests up on the lawn by the house.
"Jeffrey took her in for booking," Emma said happily. "I held the door open for her as they put her in the car and hauled her sorry butt downtown." You shake your head and smile over at the clearly pleased girl.
"And Edwardo?" Olivia turned to Ava, who also had a huge smile on her face.
"I spoke to him, he's shook up but fine. Dad's agents were able to get him out safe and sound from Michelle's goons in Argentina." Ava's hand idly circles her stomach and relief all but pours off of Olivia. So much deceit and betrayal, your heart aches for them all.
Olivia nods and turns back to you, her eyes growing darker as memories seem to swirl around her. You squeeze her hand and smile up at her, trying to send her your silent support. She lets out a long slow breath and begins.
"Ava introduced us and there was an immediate chemistry. Underneath it all though, I had a feeling that Michelle was up to something, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. And to be honest, I didn't want to believe it," Olivia pauses deep in her memories, her voice dropping dangerously as she continues. "Keep your friends close, and your enemies even closer, as Alan Spaulding used to say. I guess it just felt like she tried too hard sometimes, y'know? Pushing me to be with her, and it was nice, to be pursued and wooed."
Your heart clenches with jealousy but you have no right, no claim. You let Olivia slip away. You give yourself a little shake, determined to not sink back into the past, and focus on your new future. To the days when you will woo Olivia yourself. The thought gives you strength as Olivia continues to explain.
"And eventually I gave in. We fell into a relationship and for a while it was good. Really good." Olivia's voice drifts off and she stares sadly into the distance and you see for an instant the insecure, complicated center of the woman, that very few people are allowed to see. You had the privilege once, long ago, before you ripped out her heart. She looks back at you with those sad green eyes and your heart just about shatters again at the vulnerability found there.
"I thought that maybe somebody finally just wanted to be with me."
You swallow hard, her words hitting you like a punch to the gut. Olivia had truly loved Michelle at one point and that hurts more than you had thought possible. You square your shoulders, more determined than ever to prove yourself to the fragile woman before you.
If she will let you.
The honesty cuts you to the quick, jealousy burning bitter in your stomach, tears threatening, stinging at the back of your eyes, as this knowledge settles within you. Olivia watches you carefully, as you process this. It shouldn't surprise you that someone as amazing as Olivia would find someone else to love. And there is nothing you can say about it either, having given up the right when you married Frank.
What fools you both were.
Your eyes flick up and lock with hers, both of you weary with the weight of your mistakes. And yet somehow, you have found your way back to this second chance, back to each other. You take a calming breath, knowing that things will be different from here on out. Any future together needs to be built on a foundation of trust and honesty. You can feel the energy crackling between you both, as your eyes drop to her full lips, and in that instant you can't wait to show her just how much you want to be with her. Ava's voice cuts through the sudden tension and you both turn to her, breaking the heavy silence.
"Around the same time, I had fallen hard for Edwardo Rodriguez. Mom had sent me over to run the new Beacon Los Angeles with him and well " Ava smiled softly, her hand slowly circling over her swollen belly. "It wasn't long before we were talking marriage and starting a family. That's when I noticed Michelle began acting really strange."
"More strange than usual you mean." Emma grumbles under her breath beside you. You reach out and wrap a comforting arm around her narrow shoulders, smiling softly as she leans closer and hugs you back with a sad little sigh.
"Things were going from bad to worse with Michelle. Once we became engaged, it was as if she was a completely different person. She was possessive and demanding, trying to control everything, wanting to know where I was at all times and trying to come between Emma and myself." Olivia pinches the bridge of her nose, the difficult memories flooding back. "And the really weird thing was that she was obsessed with Ava's relationship. I began to think she wanted to be with Edwardo herself, but then she would flip out if I even spoke to another woman. It had become too much. I wanted to break it off and needed some time to think." Olivia sighs, her eyes meeting Ava's. "And that's when Jeffrey arrived on my doorstep."
You bite your lower lip, knowing that couldn't have been a good thing. Complicated didn't begin to describe this situation that the Spencer women were wrapped up in.
"Apparently Edwardo had asked him to look into Michelle's background." Olivia continued, her voice heavy with sadness. "There had been threats and funny business back in Argentina and when he had come to America he had hoped that it was all behind him. The threatening letters had started again, this time against Ava and the baby. Jeffrey said it all came back to a family vendetta back in Argentina, between rival drug cartels."
"Edwardo and his mother had fled to America to escape this, but Michelle wouldn't let it die apparently," Ava continues. "She wanted all descendants to pay."
"So I confronted Michelle," Olivia sighs, looking back at you for strength. ""I tried to call it off and Edwardo went missing. Michelle hinted she knew where he was and that there were people ready to snatch Ava too. It was incentive to go through with the wedding. She needed her citizenship and my money to get her cartel properly set up here in the States." Olivia turns to you, her eyes tearing and your heart breaks at how much strain she must have been under. Her voice drops to a hoarse whisper and you move closer, needing to be nearer to her. "I would have married her too, given her my fortune, to save my family. I would have done anything."
"I know you would." You reach out and cup her cheek, wiping a tear away with the pad of your thumb. She leans into the caress and you feel a soft kiss against the palm of your hand, burning you to your very soul.
"What Michelle didn't know was that Dad was already working with operatives to find Edwardo and break up her fledgling cartel there. We were forced to play along, as long as my husband's life was at risk. She wanted him to watch her destroy his family here, just like her family had been destroyed so long ago by his relatives. Damn her." Ava all but growled.
"And just as I was prepared to tie myself to the devil herself, in this sting that Jeffrey had devised, there you were," Olivia smiles down at you, her gaze softening. "Offering me a new beginning. I had no idea the girls had even thought to invite you."
"Well, " Emma all but bounced with happiness as she added her own bit to the story. "I just wanted Natalia to know about the wedding. A part of me always thought she was the one who got away." Emma shrugs, her pain from the path not taken evident in the nonchalant movement. "So even though Ava wasn't sure you would come, I had faith, took a chance and sent the invite."
"I'm so glad you did, Jellybean." Olivia smiles at her youngest daughter, as you squeeze Emma's hand in agreement. The band grows suddenly louder and you realize that you have almost made it back to the gathered guests. People were gathered around the banquet table and drinks were flowing freely, festivities were well under way.
"Listen, I'm going to go change out of this " Olivia looks down at her wedding dress, a little worse for wear after the events of the day. "Why don't you all go grab a bite to eat and I'll be back before you know it." She graces you with a dazzling smile, and for a moment you forget to breathe.
"I'll come with you, Mom," Ava grins, running a hand through her short hair in frustration. "I swear my bladder is shrinking exponentially as this child grows." Together you watch mother and daughter head down a different pathway towards the house and you are warmed by the knowledge that soon there would be a new addition to the family. You can't wait to tease Olivia about being a grandma.
"We need a drink to celebrate!" Emma grabs your hand and pulls you towards the bar. You see a few more familiar faces sprinkled in the group, business associates from years ago when you were still working at the Beacon. You nod and smile at Josh, who smiles back warmly before returning to sit with Reva at one of the tables. Emma hands you a glass of wine and together you make you way to the side of the dance floor, and it isn't long before she is filling you in on the boy she is dating at high school and how Olivia has been tormenting the poor fellow at every opportunity. You smile, knowing how terrifying Olivia can be when she wants to be.
The band takes a short break and a dj starts up for a while, more couples slowly swaying on the dance floor as you take another sip of your wine. You look up at the twinkling stars over head and can't really believe you are here. You send a silent prayer skywards, knowing that you couldn't have done any of this alone.
You are just beginning to wonder what happened to Olivia when she appears across the way. Olivia's hair is still upswept with the diamonds in her ears and matching necklace around the long column of her neck. She has changed into a cream chiffon dress, which flows around her and yet hugs her curves in all the right places. Elegant heels complete the look and you smile as she finally locates you and Emma in the crowd.
Your eyes meet as the first strands of Unforgettable start to play, the lush voices of Nat King Cole and his daughter Natalie merging together, and you know this is a mutual favourite version of the song. She makes her way towards you as you flash back to the last time you and Olivia had heard this song together, it had been one of the last movie nights together at the farmhouse. Before your lives had been irrevocably changed and pulled apart.
Emma had fallen fast asleep and was tucked in bed. You had switched on the radio as you both finished up your dessert. You can still remember the flames from the fireplace reflecting in Olivia's bright green eyes and the smell of coffee and cinnamon filling the air. You had looked up at her as she swayed to the song and wished you had the nerve to reveal what was in your heart.
That was then and this is now. And you have revealed what is in your heart after all this time and now you want nothing more than to be alone together, wrapped up in Olivia's loving embrace. However, if you can't do that then you can do the next best thing, the same thing you had wanted to do the last time you had heard this song play.
Olivia has stopped a few feet away from you now, standing there staring at you as if she is ready to devour you. Why are you even hesitating? Making your decision, you had your glass of wine to Emma with a smile, before moving to Olivia's side, one hand slides along her bare arm, tangling your fingers together.
"Dance with me?" You squeeze her hand and wait.
A little surprised at your new boldness, Olivia swallows hard and blinks. You can almost hear her asking herself just who was this suddenly confident woman standing before her, asking her to dance in front of this huge crowd of people? Damned if you know. One thing is certain though, you are tired of waiting. You look up at her and unleash your ultimate weapon, flashing a warm smile with full dimples for effect.
A smile lights up Olivia's face with delight and she nods, pulling you closer to her with a tug of her hand.
"I thought you'd never ask." Olivia murmurs softly and together you make your way through the swaying guests to the small dance floor. You can feel many eyes watching you now, but Olivia's hand squeezes yours, and the simple act makes you lift your chin and smile. Who the hell cares what anyone thinks, you finally got the girl and you want nothing more than to feel her swaying in your arms.
Out of the corner of your eye you notice Emma elbow Ava, turning in time to see you step out into a clear spot on the dance floor together, joining the few couples already there. Across the way you notice Josh grinning at Reva, who has paused mid-chew to watch as you slide your hands up along Olivia's bare arms to lock around her neck. Your fingers find their way into soft thick hair, twirling stray strands that have fallen loose from her upswept hair. Olivia's hands wrap around your waist, pulling you closer as together you move as one with the music.
It truly is unforgettable.
"I love this song," You breathe against Olivia's long neck, before glancing up shyly into the intense green eyes staring back at you. You can almost feel the eyes of everyone watching, burning into you, but more importantly, Olivia only has eyes for you. The rest of the place seems to fade away with that thought and you lose yourself in the motion of her body against yours, your hearts beating as one.
"I love you," Olivia murmurs tenderly, the velvety layers to her voice saying so much more. "I'm so glad you're here."
"There's no where else I'd rather be," You answer back, without hesitation. "I love you too, Olivia. And this time I'm here to stay."
Olivia's breath seems to hitch at your words, and you watch as her gaze flicks to your lips, and you know that it is finally going to happen. You move impossibly closer, as your eyes flutter shut, both hearts thundering in anticipation. And then you feel the soft tentative touch of her lips against yours, before you respond in kind, pressing and moving as one, mind and soul seeming to melt together and time stands still.
It is perfection.
And somewhere, you're almost sure you hear Reva holler. "It's about damn time!"
It wasn't the view from the honeymoon suite of the Beacon San Francisco that made you swoon, although it was exquisite, overlooking the bridge and the bay.
Nor was it the overflowing glasses of wine, or the table laden with food, waiting for you to nibble away at, that made your heart beat faster than you thought possible.
And it certainly wasn't the flickering and waving candlelight, bathing the entire room in a warm romantic glow, which made you tremble, weak in the knees.
It was the woman standing oh so close to you now that was affecting your senses, her intense stare reflecting the candlelight, her desire for you laid bare in the green depths of her amazing eyes. You were thrilled to discover that her lips taste of sweet red wine and her thundering heartbeat beneath your fingertips reminds you of the crashing waves of the sea. The time has come, and you are ripe and ready to grasp it for your own.
"Olivia," You whisper her name like it's a prayer, tumbling soft and reverent from your lips. And in truth it is, for she is your answered prayer, a gift from above to be cherished and thankful for. And that is something that you will gladly do, for as long as God's grace allows.
After the final dance of the night at the reception in her back yard, Olivia offered to come with you to the Beacon San Francisco. She insisted that she be allowed to upgrade your reservation, and before you knew it, you were assigned the honeymoon suite. Although nothing had been said, you knew it most likely had been booked in advance for her wedding night and clearly it wasn't needed any longer.
Olivia walked you to the elegantly carved door and there you stood, holding her hand like an awkward school child, not wanting her to leave you. But unlike before, in what seems like another lifetime now, you refuse to let such opportunities escape you, at least where Olivia is concerned, so you invited her inside.
Olivia smiled warmly and followed you in, grinning wider as you stopped in your tracks, amazed by the delights and treats spread out before you. Food and drink and a room full of luxuries awaiting your approval. You turned back to her, surprised and thrilled as she blushed slightly and glanced down at her feet.
"I called ahead before we left the house. I just wanted to pamper you a little." Olivia had said and you threw yourself into her arms holding her close, never wanting to let her go. In your heart you knew the greatest treasure in the room was right there in your arms. Reluctantly you pull apart and begin to explore the treats around you.
So much time had passed, too much time really. This second chance was not going to be wasted you decided right then and there, as you got lost in the shadows of her eyes. Tomorrow you would touch base with both your boys, put your old life in order and speak with Frank
You refused to go there, and turn your thoughts away, not wanting to dwell on Frank now. You have given him more than enough of your time, time you could have spent with this woman, in her arms, loving her. Regret washes through you, burning like acid.
You meet Olivia's eyes, as she stands watching your every move, her eyes reflecting her love and devotion still burning bright after all this time. A miracle really, that shouldn't be questioned, simply appreciated and thankful for. And certainly not to be wasted any longer.
Now it was your time.
Olivia stepped toward you then, the cream chiffon dress she changed into for the evening clinging to her like a second skin, hugging her in all the right places, beckoning you to touch her, to tickle along the soft fabric. You just know that it's going to look even better off of her, in an elegant heap on the carpet, discarded and out of the way. You flush a little at the thought, your body reacting with a strong pulse of desire.
"You didn't hear a word I just said, did you?" Olivia asks now, her eyebrow arching and a small grin teasing at her lips. And you realize you haven't actually heard anything but the beating of your heart in your ears for the last few minutes.
You bite your lower lip and smile, shaking your head a little in answer. Truth be told you're nervous, afraid you'll do something to mess it all up. Afraid that Olivia will change her mind and come to her senses and toss you out of her life. You wouldn't blame her one bit after everything you have put her through. But she just smiles at you and moves closer still.
"Hey, just relax," Olivia reaches out and tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear, breaking into your irrational fears. "We don't have to do anything you're not ready for. I just want to spend time with you. Okay?" Her touch settles you in a way and excites you in another. You swallow hard as she leans closer, moving past you to steal a strawberry from the overflowing fruit tray on the side table. She bites into it, slicing through the tender flesh with sharp white teeth, before sucking it into her moist mouth and chewing.
You forget to breathe for a moment, as you watch her, wishing you were that lucky little piece of fruit. She swallows, her eyes never leaving yours and then slowly offers you the other half of it. Your mouth opens and she slides it between your lips, her fingers captured momentarily. You gently suck on her fingertips before she gasps softly and reluctantly pulls them away. You smile as you swallow your sweet treat and enjoy the hungry look on Olivia's face.
"I'm going to make you feel soooo good." Olivia leans close, whispering hotly into your ear and you tremble before her, your body reacting not only to the words but the seductive timber of Olivia's voice as it drops into its lowest register.
You moisten your lips, your mouth suddenly dry, as her eyes travel possessively along your body. She is not unaffected as you notice the heart beat twitching at the base of her neck. You are desperate now to touch her, to taste her, to just be with her. Before you know it you are leaning forward as Olivia stares into your eyes, almost daring you.
And for once you don't hesitate. You don't wait; there is no fear or guilt, only the feeling that time stands still, the two of you alone together, now and for ever. You don't think, you just do, focusing your gaze on those perfect lips and then you quickly close the distance, capturing her lips with your own.
Her moan, soft and needy, vibrates against your mouth and you cling to her, going weak in your knees at the sound. Her hand slides up into your hair, tugging slightly and then holding you steady, keeping you right where she wants you.
"Please," You murmur when you finally both break for much needed air. "Stay with me tonight?"
"Tonight, and every night." Olivia's eyes seem almost black with desire and you feel her tremble in your arms before crushing you in a searing kiss.
And then you are lost in a wave of sensation and pulsing need. Her hands are on your body, exploring, caressing, claiming you as her very own. Exactly as it should be. Somehow you find the way to the bedroom, the king size mattress soft beneath you as she pushes you gently back and you recline before her, her eyes traveling down along your curves. You blush at the appraisal but proudly stare back.
You are hers to do with as she wishes and you couldn't be more thankful.
"Mine," Olivia whispers tenderly before her eyes grow large again and lock with yours. "Finally." Then she is descending, devouring you, taking you into her hands, molding you to her body. Her lips trace down your throat and she nuzzles along the collar of your blouse.
"Off!" Olivia all but growls and impatiently begins tugging at your clothing. Chuckling, you quickly start to assist, stripping down to bare skin as she does the same. The soft duvet below you and her warm supple curves pressing down above you are almost too much to take in. You run your fingers along her cheek, tracing her eyebrows, memorizing the flecks of colour in her eyes before Olivia once more dips down for a searing kiss.
You surprise both yourself and her as you roll her to her back and confidently begin to map her body, kissing and nipping your way along her body, finding favourite spots to explore and tease, as Olivia willingly remains trapped beneath you, moaning and writhing with need.
"Mine." You sigh happily in her ear, echoing her sentiments, relishing the taste of it in your mouth, the sure knowledge that this gorgeous creature beneath you was indeed all yours. Your hand dips lower, across twitching abs, not exactly sure what you're doing but sure you'll be able to figure it out. You gasp at how wet and ready she is for you and then you sink into her warmth, filling her, truly making her yours.
Olivia's hips arch off the bed and you move to meet her thrusts, but you refuse to be rushed though, continuing at your own leisurely pace. She growls a little in frustration, but you steal a kiss from her full lips to distract her and then reward her by adding the extra strength of your thigh sliding between her legs.
"Oh, God," Olivia gasps, making a small kittenish sound at the back of her throat as you curl your fingers and find that elusive spot you know she won't be able to resist. You swear to yourself that you will do everything in your power to hear that sound again, and again, and again. You sigh and make a sympathetic moan as Olivia shifts and bucks below you, before you claim her mouth again.
Kissing her hard, you feel her body start to tense and you know she is near. You lean back slightly to watch her, as she starts to lose control and let herself go, bucking and straining to pull you in deeper. You want to be closer, you need to be nearer. You want to watch her fall over the edge. The desire is too great and you slow your movements to get her attention.
"Look at me, Olivia," You murmur, as bright green eyes snap open at your soft request, as she desperately tries to focus on your words. She is so close to the edge, on a razors edge and you know it. And yet she does as you ask and stares back at you. "I want to watch you come for me."
She laughs softly, with a quiet joy and all she can do is nod and gasp as you flash your widest smile, rewarding her with a flash of dimple and begin to circle her clit with your thumb. It's like you can see into her soul, and she is bare, heart mind and soul. She is overwhelmed by you, by your touch, by your love. You stare mesmerized as the wave hits her, and she falls over the edge, her body responding as she comes hard for you, shuddering her release in your arms.
"Natalia!" Your name tumbles from her lips, followed by breathy cries and still she doesn't break eye contact, her green eyes exposing everything to you as asked. You begin to slow your movements, swirling slowly within her, and finally stopping as the last tremors cease. You shift from her and hold her close, your hands moving lazily along her body, not wanting to miss a moment of her pleasure.
Finally she sighs, a long satisfied sound that makes you smile. You worry you've worn her out, but Olivia just nuzzles closer, burrowing against your neck. You wrap your arms around her and hold her close and breathe her in, keeping her safe as she returns to herself. Your fingers trace lazy circles along her back, the texture of her skin intoxicating, calling you to continue to explore her tempting form. You are so distracted by her that you fail to see the mischievous gleam in her eyes.
Before you realize it, she has rolled you to your back, chuckling. You feel the stretch and pull of her stomach muscles against you and you shiver at the new intimacy between you. How could you have been so afraid of this for so long?
You blink up at her, as her indulgent smile warms you to your soul. She begins to move against you, her hands sliding slow and seductive along your skin. Her head dips and she steals a kiss and then another, and soon she sinks deeper into your mouth, your tongues dueling and playing together. Her weight settles on you, and you spread your legs wider, allowing her to slide between them to discover just how ready you are for her.
You roll your hips, unable to stop the moan of pleasure at the contact, and she drags her thigh against your center. A gasp of pleasure is pulled from your lips and that seems to inspire her to explore your hills and valleys.
Her fingers roam across your flesh, soft tickling trails down your sides, across your aching breasts and nipples. She finally moves from your lips and begins to nip down your throat, licking across your collarbone, as if needing to memorize every single inch of you.
You are burning up, writhing with want and need. Your senses are filled with nothing but Olivia and it seems she beats within your very veins, pulsing in time with your thundering heart. She dips between your breasts to find her way to your taut stomach, and you giggle and twitch once she finds herself there. You look down your naked body to lock with her vibrant green eyes, one eyebrow arching ever so slightly before she gives you a half smile and turns her attention back to tracing the salty hollows of your stomach with her tongue.
Is it possible to die from joy?
Olivia nuzzles down around your belly button, teasing and sucking the tender flesh there before moving up your body once more, to find and claim first one breast and then the other. Her fingertips skim the length of your body, her feathery touch barely registers as her hot mouth teases your stiff nipples to hard peaks.
Your eyes snap open when her hand finally wanders down to where you most need her, and you both sigh with pleasure as she finds you swollen and slick. You spread yourself a little wider for her and she takes the hint. She circles and teases your needy clit, and you arch up to meet her, gasping, trying to catch a breath. Trying to follow the tempting pleasure racing through your body.
It has never been like this for you. Never.
"Please " You whisper on an exhale, slow and steady, wanting her to finish you, to truly make her yours. She feels everything so intensely, responding so subtly to your every move, just as you respond to her sure touch, your body inviting her love with every movement. Together you groan with pleasure as she smiles softly and presses deep inside, sinking within you, your bodies dancing back and forth.
Your arms have snaked around her neck, pulling her closer, as if you're afraid she'll disappear like a dream in the middle of the night. You gasp as she picks up the tempo of her thrusts, angling deeper, swirling and taking you higher with each motion. She pants into your ear, rocking you both harder.
And then you feel a rush, a wave of pleasure coming over your, too much to resist. You body starts to tighten, clutching around her fingers. Your back arches and finally you feel yourself seem to explode into a thousand million pieces, a guttural cry ripped from your throat as you buck against her.
When you can finally think again, you find yourself tangled together in a heap, exhausted and spent. Olivia's softly kisses you, your thundering hearts beating in tandem, beginning to finally slow. You keep her close as she shifts her larger frame to one side and pulls the duvet over your cooling bodies. You curl together, touching each other softly, almost reverently. You lay breathing together, gathering strength and comfort from each other.
You look up at the ceiling and feel a peace come over you, that finally the world has righted itself, that God in heaven has smiled upon you. Olivia shifts, gently moving the pad of her thumb across your lips before dipping to kiss you once more. The kiss finally breaks and you feel the damp tears start to finally fall from your eyes.
"Hey, "Olivia whispers, concerned, her thumb moving to wipe the tears from your cheek." Why are you crying?"
"It's okay. It's more than okay. I'm just happy, baby." You snuggle into her warmth, feeling Olivia's strong arms wrap around you holding you close, knowing you've found your way, together at last. "I'm just happy."
And for the first time in what feels like forever, you really mean it.
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