DISCLAIMER: Characters are not mine. MST3K is not mine.
CHALLENGE RESPONSE: Submitted for the Passion & Perfection Xmas Challenge 2005
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

By Geonn


Janet pulled the cookie sheet from the oven, swiveling at the hip and placing it on the counter next to the batch that was already cooling. She poked her tongue out at the exertion of being twisted like a pretzel, lifting her left foot off the floor to keep from tumbling. When the cookies were safely on the counter, she turned and corrected her posture.

Her purple sweater had ridden up during her pirouette, revealing the stomach of the paler purple blouse below. She tugged her sweater back in place and picked up the frosting. She'd bought black, green, yellow, brown and white, hoping it would be enough. The bakery hadn't had any blue in stock, so the uniforms would have to be green.

She started with the green sleeves and pants on all the gingerbread people. The vests came next. The next step was a bit more involved; it would make each person unique. The first in each set of four received a dollop of yellow for hair. This would be Sam. O'Neill received white, Daniel brown. She made little glasses on Daniel as well as she could. Teal'c was the most involved, requiring his entire face to be darkened with a dollop of yellow in the middle for his tattoo.

The phone rang while she was applying the finishing touches to their boots. She licked some excess frosting from her thumb and moved around the counter to the stereo. Turning down the Trans-Siberian Orchestra CD she had playing, she picked up the receiver and said, "Bah humbug."

"Quite a greeting," Sam said.

"Everyone else says merry Christmas. I'm different," she said, smiling. "What's up, Sam?"

"Is Cass there? I need to ask her something."

"Sure." She put the phone against her shoulder and moved towards the living room. The teenage girl was sitting in front of the couch wrapping presents. "Cassandra, phone for you."

"Okay," Cassie said, getting to her feet. "I'm almost done wrapping Sam's--"

"Ah-ah," Janet interrupted, waving the phone. "Speak of the devil."

"Oops," Cassandra said, taking the phone. "Hi, Sam. No, I won't tell you. No! Well, Mom's scarier than you are."

Janet smirked and gave Cassie a thumbs-up as she headed back to the gingerbread SG-1. "So what's up? Are you coming to Mom's Christmas party later?"

Janet slipped the oven mitts back onto her hands, picking up the freshly-frosted cookies and returned them to the oven. When she straightened, she saw Cassandra peering into the oven after the cookies. "No," Janet said sternly.

"Mm-hmm," Cassandra said into the phone, turning and retreating into the living room.

Janet pulled off her oven mitts and checked her watch. Still plenty of time until the rest of the party-goers arrived. She headed into the living room, where Cassandra was still engrossed in the conversation with Sam. "That'll be awesome, she'll love that."

"You two aren't talking about me, are you?" Janet asked. She sat cross-legged on the floor in front of her daughter, pulling one of the unwrapped presents over. "Well? What's she getting me?"

Cassandra stuck her tongue out and Janet laughed. "Now you can keep a secret no problem, right?" She made a waving motion with her hand and said, "Let me talk to her." Cassandra handed the phone over and Janet said, "Miss Major."

"Madame Doctor."

"The rest of SG-1 will be here around seven, but would you mind coming at about six-thirty? I need a little help setting stuff up."

"No problem. Will Cass be helping?"

"No, the slave has been relegated to wrapping duty this year."

Cassandra threw a bow at her mother.

"Sure, six-thirty is no problem."

"Okay, see you then. Do you want to talk to Cassandra again?"

"No, we were finished conspiring. Say good-bye for me."

She put the phone against her shoulder again. "Sam says good-bye."

"Bye, Sam!"

Janet grinned. "Okay, bye Sam. See you at six-thirty." She hung up and unrolled a section of wrapping paper to fit a Mystery Science Theater 3000 DVD box set. "Okay, this goes to the Colonel, right?"

"Mm-hmm," Cassandra said. "Hey, can I say something about you and Sam?"

"Will it make me blush?" Janet asked.

"Yeah, probably."

"Then no."

They wrapped in silence for a few more seconds before Cassandra said, "She really, really likes you."

Janet threw the bow Cassie had thrown at her earlier, hitting the girl in the nose. Cassandra retaliated with a handful of ribbons, most of which got hung on Janet's bangs. Janet laughed and called a truce, pulling the ribbons free. "Just don't say anything like that tonight, okay, Cass? I'm begging you."


"No!" Janet said sternly. "I've tried for the longest time to just get past my stupid crush and having you mock me about it isn't helping!"

"Sorry," Cassandra said.

"It's okay," Janet said. She reached out and smoothed her daughter's hair. "It's nice that you're so concerned for me, though. Now, come on... I want all of this stuff wrapped by the time Sam gets here."

The doorbell rang and Janet was up in a flash. Cassandra snickered and Janet turned, pointing a warning at her. "I'm not overeager. It's rude to keep people waiting in the cold."

"Especially people you love."

Janet said, "You're cruisin' for a bruisin', kid."

She unlocked the front door and pulled it open, smiling at Sam. "Hi! Come in, warm up!"

Sam stepped into the brightly-lit foyer, shaking the snow from her jacket. She was carrying a plate covered with an opaque cookie sheet. "What's that?" Janet asked, taking Sam's scarf and hanging it on a hook. "I thought I told you that you didn't have to bring anything."

"It's a surprise," Sam said. "How goes the wrapping? Is it safe for me to go into the living room?"

"Uh-huh, yeah," Janet said, motioning for Sam to go into the living room. As soon as Sam's back was turned, Janet's smile vanished. Sam, in her trench coat, with those cute blue mittens and her cheeks red from the cold... she looked sexier than Janet remembered. She shouldn't have been surprised; she was always struck dumb by how unreliable her memory was.

She stepped into the living room where Sam was looking over the unwrapped presents. "You got a lot of action movies for Teal'c..."

"It was Colonel O'Neill's idea," Janet said, leaning against the doorway. "Trying to wean him off sci-fi, I guess."

Cassandra caught her eye and made a "smile" motion with her hand, pretending to push up the corners of her mouth. Janet mimicked the move, really smiling when Sam turned back around. "Should I try and guess what you got me?"

"It's not a DVD or science-related," Janet said.

"Did you keep the receipt?" Sam winked.

"Hardy-har. Will you help me in the kitchen?"

"Of course."

They went into the kitchen, Sam putting her plate on the kitchen table as they passed. Sam glanced over her shoulder and said, "You know I'll love whatever you got me. I was just kidding."

"I know."

Sam nodded. "I thought you did... but... well, you look kind of like I devastated you."

Janet was confused. "What, I smiled, didn't I?"

"A fake smile," Sam said. "I know you, Janet." Sam saw the plate of SG-1 cookies on the counter and, still casual after this revelation, said, "Wow, these look delicious. And proving I know you as well as I thought I did... they're all SG-1."

"Yeah," Janet said, smiling a real smile this time as she walked over. "Teal'c was kind of hard to get right, but I managed."

Sam grinned and said, "Ready to see what I brought?"


They returned to the kitchen table and Sam picked up the plate. "I knew you would make only Sams, Jacks, Teal'cs and Daniels. I knew you'd omit a member of SG-1."

"Jonas?" Janet asked.

Sam unfolded the edges of the wrap, lifting the sheet covering the plate. "No, not Jonas." She held the plate out, as if it were on display. Her gingerbread women were smaller than Janet's, a little lighter in color. They wore long lab jackets, had a dollop of brown frosting hair and a blue skirt and blouse. Sam smiled and said, "The bakery only had one tube of blue, so I couldn't give you a blouse and a skirt... but... I thought... well?"

"You made gingerbread cookies of me?" Janet asked, picking one up and touching the frosted eyes.

"Yeah," Sam said. "They're more fun to eat when I make them look like you."

Janet looked up, noting the twinkle in Sam's eye. Sam balanced the plate on one hand, reaching up with the other one to touch Janet's cheek. "Don't be mad at Cassandra."


"Apparently," Sam said, stepping closer, "we've both been using her as a sounding board for our unrequited feelings."

Janet's mind was reeling. Nothing was making sense. Sam stepped back, putting the plate down and picking up one of the Janet's. She walked over to the SG-1 plate Janet had already arranged and picked up one of the Sams. She put them both down on the counter, laying them so that their stubby, round hands overlapped.


Sam turned the Sam cookie and rested its face over Janet's.

Janet was trying very hard to breath, her hand shaking against the counter. "I... uh..."

"Call it a visual aid," Sam said, closing the distance. Her hand came up, scooping under Janet's hair and cupping the back of her head. "If it helps," Sam said softly, her other hand snaking around Janet's waist, "you can blame it on the mistletoe."

"I... don't have mistletoe," Janet breathed.

"Damn," Sam said, finally touching her lips to Janet's. Janet half-gasped, half-whimpered and rested both trembling hands on Sam's shoulders. Eventually, they snaked around the taller woman's neck and held her tight, the kiss deepening.

From the doorway, Cassandra said, "God bless us, every one."

They broke the kiss and Janet buried her face against Sam's sweater. Sam lobbed one of the oven mitts across the room, watching it smack the wall behind where Cassandra had just been standing. "Yeah, you better run!" She nuzzled the top of Janet's head and whispered, "Was that okay?"

"It was the best kiss you've ever given me."

"So far," Sam said.

"Yeah. So far."

Jack bit the heads off of every Jack O'Neill cookie, complaining that his hair wasn't white, it was a very distinguished gray. Daniel complained about his "big, geeky eyeglasses" while Teal'c wondered why his tattoo took up half of his face. Jack claimed half of the Daniel Jacksons, picking off the frosting glasses and declaring them "the real Jack cookies" while Teal'c attempted to pick away some of his tattoo.

They were so preoccupied with their cookies, no one really noticed that Sam and Janet were curled up on the couch, contentedly munching on Janet and Sam cookies, respectively.

The End

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