DISCLAIMER: I'd The Facts of Life and its characters are the property of Columbia Pictures Television and Sony Pictures Television, no infringement intended.
SEQUEL/SERIES: To Charity Begins at Home and A Sundae on a Sunday.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
A Good Cause
"You did what?" I manage to ask in a relatively controlled voice, belying the turmoil I'm currently experiencing.
"I didn't think you'd mind, Jo. After all, it's for a very good cause," my lover explains her reasons for volunteering me to sit in a dunking booth at the 'Save the Zoo' benefit.
"Blair, it's going to be below freezing on Saturday. I'm going to catch pneumonia," I offer in protest of this ridiculous notion.
Moving closer, Blair lightly runs her hand up and down my arm and says, "It won't be as cold during the day."
"I don't think you understand, honey. It's going to be in the upper teens overnight, and it's not supposed to get over thirty during the day," I reply in a softer voice as Blair's stroking has calmed me somewhat.
"Well, maybe the monkey suit will keep you warm," Blair whispers as she moves her caresses up my arm and to the nape of my neck.
Reveling in the light touches, I lean forward and softly ask, "What monkey suit?"
Blair lightly kisses my lips and pulls away slightly, continuing to stroke the fine hairs on my neck. "The one you'll be wearing when you're in the dunking booth," she quietly explains.
Suddenly, her words filter into my lust filled brain, and every muscle in my body tenses. Blair immediately stops her hand movement, and I find that no matter how hard I try, I can no longer control my urge to scream.
Slowly backing away, Blair replies, "Um, the booth you're signed up for is the one promoting the improvements to the ape house."
"Well, then why don't you just put one of the damn apes in the booth? After all, they're the ones that will directly benefit from the profits," I shout as I begin to pace back and forth in the small kitchen area, continuing to mutter my displeasure.
"An ape suit? In a dunking booth? Can you imagine what fake, wet, monkey hair is going to smell like? Whose brilliant idea was that?"
Expecting Blair to go through her usual spiel about the importance of charity, I stop my pacing when no words are uttered from my lover. Turning toward Blair, I find her standing near the island, fiddling with a paper clip.
Sighing, I move next to her and ask, "Blair, whose idea was it to have the 'dunkee' dress in a monkey suit?"
Blair continues to gaze at the mangled metal clip and answers in a voice so low that if I hadn't been standing so close to her, I would've never been able to hear those two little words, "Muffy Barrington."
Exploding, I yell, "Muffy Barrington? Why in the hell did you sign me up for an event that bitch is involved with?"
Blair looks up at me with tears in her eyes and runs from the room sobbing. In my current mood, I think it best not to follow her, so I head for the back door instead. Ignoring the cold, I take off running around the house and down the sidewalk to the street.
Twenty minutes later, I've calmed down enough to return home to talk to Blair about how I'm willing to help, but just not in the dunking booth. I'm still very upset about the upcoming charity event, but I should have handled the news better and not gone off on Blair. Stepping into the house, I go in search of my lover to apologize for my earlier behavior, and I find her in the bedroom, sound asleep, hugging my pillow tightly.
I start toward her when I suddenly get a whiff of myself; whew, do I ever stink. Detouring to the master bath, I peel off my clothes and head for the shower.
As I'm rinsing the shampoo from my hair, a pair of hands, definitely not my own, begin to slowly caress my breasts. I quickly finish the rinse process and turn my full attention to my lover. Backing Blair against the shower wall, I thoroughly reassure my princess of my love for her, multiple times in fact.
Much later, we sit down at the table to rationally discuss our earlier conversation, and as I open my mouth to begin with an apology, Blair takes my hand and lightly squeezes.
"Jo, let me say something," Blair begins, and I nod my head for her to continue.
"The committee decided to divide the zoo up into different sections, and each member was assigned an area. Well, actually, we drew for an area, and needless to say, I got the ape house. You should have heard the snickering from the other members, but Lila, the chairwoman, quickly got everyone back on task. Anyway, we brainstormed different ideas, and it was decided to run the event like a carnival with rides and games. That's when Muffy came up with the idea of a dunking booth, and she suggested it be in the ape house section. I, of course, balked at the idea, but everyone thought it was perfect."
"So you were overruled?" I asked gently while secretly planning to get even with Miss Muffy.
"Yes, but I still continued to try to dissuade the members from the idea. As you know, my efforts were for naught and that's when Muffy made the next suggestion that the person in the booth wear an ape suit," Blair explained, clearly disgusted with both the committee and the idea, much to my delight. At least, now I know she was never in favor of this stupid notion.
"Muffy and her little minions talked the majority into the idea so I was stuck having to run a dunking booth with a monkey suit. After the meeting, Muffy came up to me gloating about how my part of the charity event would be a complete failure and that I'd never get anyone to agree to take part in it."
"Why that sick bitch; she planned the whole thing to ruin you," I reason, finally figuring out what the peroxided blonde had in mind.
With a sad voice, Blair said, "She's right, you know. Even if you agree to help me out, there's no way you could last the full eight hours. She knew all along that you'd be the only person I'd be able to talk into participating."
Hmm, eight hours is a long time, but I think I could last for two hours at a time if I could rest in between. Oh, I've got a wonderful idea.
"Blair, give me about an hour to make a couple of calls. I think I've figured out how we can make this work," I offer, squeezing my lover's hand. She smiles broadly giving me extra incentive to ensure that my plan comes to fruition.
Saturday morning finds me standing outside the dunking booth, wearing the life-like ape suit, and Tootie and Natalie are giving me last minute instructions on how to goad the thrower into trying so hard to hit the target that the ball never comes near the springboard. I just hope their strategy works, and I'm sure they're wishing the same since they'll be the ones to relieve me at the end of my two hour shifts.
Placing the ape head over my own, I climb onto the platform just as the first gust of freezing air blows across the booth. Shit, I really am going to catch pneumonia.
After the first thirty minutes, I'm still dry as the plan to heckle the thrower really seems to work. That is until the snotty, nosed blonde kid steps up to the line. Grinning evilly, he goes through a complete windup before releasing the ball. To my dismay, it hits its mark, and I'm dunked into the freezing cold water below. I barely manage to climb back up on the platform when he throws the next ball, dunking me yet again.
On his third and final throw, his mother steps up to congratulate him on his accuracy. Looking through the ape eye slits, I see my new nemesis, Muffy Barrington. I don't even get the chance to growl as I'm dropped into the water for the third time.
Pulling myself out of the makeshift pool, I watch as Muffy hands the little shit some money, and he smiles and scampers away. She looks over at me and laughs before walking away toward the zoo entrance.
By the end of my first two hour shift, I'm literally shaking to death. Blair has to help me to the changing area while a concerned Tootie takes my other arm. Together, we manage to get me out of the suit and wrapped in warm towels. Tootie grimaces but proves to be a good sport as she pulls on the wet ape suit. Waving, she turns and heads back to the booth.
Blair takes my hand and quickly leads me to the restrooms. Locking the door, she strips off my clothes and uses a towel to dry me off. My brain is so frozen; it doesn't even register that this should be viewed as an erotic moment. Instead, it focuses solely on getting warm.
It takes almost a half hour for me to feel any of my extremities again, and I can truthfully say that I'm not looking forward to getting back in that damn suit again; however, one look in Blair's loving eyes has me ready to climb on that platform once more.
The second shift begins much in the same way as the first. As long as I stay out of the water, I can definitely tough it out. Just as the thought leaves my head, I glance over to see Muffy's brat step up to the line, and I'm in the water before I can think of a proper name for the offspring.
Damn, this kid is definitely going to be a major leaguer one day. He can hit the center of that fucking board every time. Although, I'm sure the money he's making off his mom gives him just the incentive he needs. I swear; I'm going to knock the smile off that bitch's face the first chance I get.
The end of round two has Natalie and Blair assisting me off the platform as my wobbly legs and frozen brain are no longer functioning. I practically fall on the floor when the suit is peeled off of me, but Blair puts an arm around me and steadies me while Natalie gamely dons the wet suit.
I'm barely even aware of Blair toweling me off and putting dry clothes on me. Hell, I don't even remember walking to the restroom. In fact, my first memory is Natalie returning, and the two of them putting me back into the suit.
Next thing I know, I'm back up on the platform for my last shift. As I watch the different throwers step up to the line, I'm so tired that I'm not even able to heckle them, but thank God Tootie and Natalie are standing near the booth harassing them for me. I hope I'm able to remember to thank them later.
My ears must be thawing because I distinctly hear the whispered voice of Natalie.
"Oh shit, there's that little spawn of Satan and the dragon lady."
Not realizing the significance of her statement, I chuckle and reply, "Good one, Nat," and I almost drown when I'm suddenly dunked under the water with my mouth still open. Sputtering, I push to the top of the pool just in time to see Muffy doubled over in laughter.
Oh, that bitch is going to pay.
At the end of shift, I lay down on the platform and refuse to move despite the warnings from my lover and friends that I'll freeze to the board; however, I do allow the three women to pull me up and drag me back into the changing area.
An hour later, I'm lying in Blair's arms on top of a towel in the restroom. She kisses the top of my head and says, "Jo, thank you so much for today. We made twice the projected amount for the booth. I'm just sorry that you had to suffer so much."
Lifting my head, I lightly kiss my lover's lips and reply, "No thanks are necessary, Blair; although, if you'd like to perhaps offer me thanks later tonight, I wouldn't turn you down."
Laughing, she stands and pulls me from the floor. Wordlessly, I get dressed, and we unlock the door to join in on the rest of the charity's festivities.
A short time later, Natalie and Tootie join us, and Blair offers her thanks to our two friends for helping in the success of the dunking booth, but both women glance around nervously and immediately usher us to a less crowded area.
Confused, I ask, "Hey, what's going on?"
The two women look at each other, and Tootie motions for Natalie to explain.
"Um, Tootie and I were in the restroom, and we overheard Muffy talking to someone. They were laughing and carrying on about how they were going to ruin Blair. It seems that Muffy took some pictures of you and Blair in .um, compromising positions. She's going to try to get some publisher friend of hers to print them in the local paper."
Suddenly, Blair's face loses all color, and I quickly move next to her, putting my arm around her waist. "How did she manage to take pictures? I never saw a camera," Blair whispers.
Tootie immediately replies, "She's got one of those disposable cameras. I peeked over the stall when she showed it to her friend. It's in her right jacket pocket."
"Oh no, Jo. I only have one more month before I turn thirty, and then I'll get my trust fund. If our relationship comes out before then, I'll have to forfeit the money because of a stupid morality clause my grandfather put in the contract," Blair explains, leaning heavily against me.
"What happens if you break the morals clause after you turn thirty?" Tootie asks the question we were all thinking.
"Uh, oh, nothing. Once I get the fund, it's mine. I was planning to, well, come out so to speak after I deposited the money in my account," Blair replied, shrugging and looking up at me.
"Really? You mean it, Blair?" I ask, hoping against hope that she's being sincere.
Leaning forward, Blair answers with a sweet kiss, and as she releases my lips, we both come to the realization that we just kissed each other in front of Natalie and Tootie.
The ice is broken when a smiling Natalie turns to her friend and says, "Pay up, Tootie. I told you so."
Blair and I break out in laughter, and the other two women quickly join us. The blackmail is temporarily forgotten until we walk back toward the entrance, only to see Muffy heading toward the restrooms.
"You guys stay here. I'll be right back," I order as I turn and stride toward the door Muffy just stepped through.
Entering the facility, I note that there is only one stall door closed, and no one else is in sight. Turning the lock on the door, I lean against the wall and wait. I know just the thing that will scare the shit out of her.
A couple of minutes later, the sound of a flush echoes in the room, and the door to the stall opens. Muffy is looking down in her purse, and she never notices me until she moves to wash her hands.
Putting her hand to her chest, she says, "Oh, you startled me." Glancing around, she adds, "Where's Blair? I didn't think she went anywhere without you."
Taking a menacing step forward, I purr, "She's busy with our friends. This is the first chance I've had all day to be alone with you."
Frightened, Muffy steps backwards as I remove my leather jacket and lay it on the counter. I stalk my prey until her back is against the wall, and when I make a move to undo my belt, Muffy's eyes almost pop out of her head.
"Wait!" She exclaims, looking around the room nervously. I pause in my movement to see what she's going to do next.
I can't believe my ears when her next words are uttered in a low, sexy voice. "Lock the door." Oh, this is going to be fun.
"I already have," I answer in an authoritative tone.
Muffy surprises me by taking a few steps toward me, but she retreats in a teasing fashion when I step forward. Finally, I'm standing in front of the woman whose life purpose has become hurting Blair, and it takes everything I've got, not to strangle her scrawny neck.
I move my hands to her jacket, and the bitch actually moans aloud. Damn, I wish I had a video camera, but first things first.
Leaning into me, she closes her eyes, and I manage to reach into her pocket without pulling away in disgust. Grabbing the camera, I check her other pocket to be sure there isn't a second camera.
I hold the camera up so that I can get as much of us in the frame as possible, and I slowly push the button. The combination of a click and a flash alerts Miss Muffy that something has gone horribly wrong, and she forcefully pushes away from me and opens her eyes.
"What are you doing? I'll bring you up on sexual assault charges. I'll ruin you and your precious Blair," Muffy threatens as she reaches into her pocket for the missing camera.
"Looking for this? I wonder what the judge will think when he sees you holding onto me with your eyes closed. I guess I'll have to add the moaning bit since your disposable camera doesn't pick up sound. Hey, do you think your publisher friend would be interested in seeing you throw yourself at another woman?" I hold the camera up and dare the woman to try to wrestle it away from me.
Wisely, Muffy makes her way to the sink, grabs her purse, and unlocks the door. She never even turns around as she pushes the door open and exits.
Laughing, I move back to the counter and put my jacket back on. Slipping the camera into my pocket, I leave the room and head for my friends.
We enjoy a pleasant dinner with Natalie and Tootie at their hotel, but I ask for a rain check on getting a drink afterwards. I'm so exhausted I can barely stand, and Blair looks at me worriedly when I ask her to drive home. I assure her I'm okay, and she smiles and puts the car in gear.
I must have fallen asleep because I'm suddenly awakened by light kisses to the corner of my mouth, but I come fully awake when direct contact is finally made along with a silky tongue asking for entrance.
Who am I to deny such a request? I freely open my mouth and allow Blair total access as I lean back in the seat and enjoy the ride.
Minutes later, Blair removes her very active tongue and slowly releases my lips. A smile forms on my face, but I never open my eyes. Hell, I don't have to; I've memorized every aspect of my lover, and I know just the smile she has at this moment.
"Jo, I know you probably feel as if you've run a marathon. Let's get you go bed," Blair offers sweetly.
Pulling myself upright, I reply, "Sounds good to me. Why don't you go ahead and pull down the covers? I'll lock up and be right behind you."
Giving me another sweet kiss, she smiles and exits the car as I slowly open the door to climb out.
I walk through the house turning out the lights and checking the windows and doors before heading toward the master bedroom. My feet are literally dragging by the time I enter the room.
A soft glow is being cast from the nightstand lamp, and the covers are pulled back waiting for me. I strip just inside the door and don't even both picking up my clothes from the floor. They can wait until tomorrow. Right now, I have a bed calling my name.
Sliding in between the crisp sheets, I roll over to find a smiling Blair, a smiling naked Blair, but she must realize how exhausted I am because she lightly kisses my lips and then reaches over to turn out the light.
I'm almost asleep when I hear, "Jo, what did you do with the camera?"
Groggily, I answer, "I dropped it in the used oil container in the garage. I'd love to have that picture of Muffy, but I didn't want to take the chance of anyone getting their hands on the other pictures or negatives."
Blair turns over and hugs me close, running her hand lightly up and down my spine, and I can't help but moan in pleasure.
"So Muffy threw herself at you, huh? I really don't like the woman, but I've always admired her taste," Blair whispers in my ear, the ear that is currently being licked and suckled.
"Um, Blair?" I desperately try to convey to my lover that I truly am beyond exhausted.
Sliding her hand between us, Blair makes direct contact with a part of my body that suddenly comes alive. "But as much as I admire her taste, I absolutely adore yours," Blair purrs, moving her hand in a rhythmic motion.
Pulling Blair on top, I'm barely able to keep up with her hand movements, and just as I lift up to make contact with her luscious mouth, she moves her other hand to my breast.
Oh, hell. Who needs sleep anyway? Besides, this is for a good cause, too.
Great sex with Blair is always a good cause, and this time, I get to reap the benefits.
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