DISCLAIMER: Grey's Anatomy and its characters are the property of Shonda Rhimes and ABC. No infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: Seasons 1-3.
The Good No-longer Shepherd
By Reallybigpineapple
Part 1
In a sense, it all started when a group of male non-Bailey interns stood huddled around something, leering.
Addison debated with herself whether to make her day a little better by kicking some intern ass, when she heard one of them snort:
"Dr. Booty…How can she expect anyone to take her seriously after this?"
"Oh, I'd take her, seriously," one of the others leered.
"I heard that she stripped for Karev once in the locker room. Lucky bastard."
Sexual harassment made Addison's blood boil.
"What are we looking at?" She had quietly snuck up behind the interns on her soft leather soles, making sure that her fuck-me heals made no sound.
She relished the discomfort of the interns as they struggled to hide Exhibit A: a well thumbed glossy magazine with a blonde centrefold.
Dr. Stevens...
After coming to Seattle Grace, Addison had heard a passing mention of Isobel Stevens being a model of some sort, but hadn't really thought about it further, having had quite enough with her own messy life at the time. She hadn't considered the possibility of it being modelling without so many articles of clothing on…
"Ah, right. 'Dr. Booty'. Doesn't it seem like a shame that Dr. Stevens should be the only one in her underwear?"
Swift as a rattlesnake, she pulled the drawstring of the sneering intern's scrub pants and saw them drop with a satisfied smile. She was very good at it. After all, she had years of practice at disrobing men in scrubs. Kind of her other specialty, besides neo-natal surgery.
"Now listen here, none of you is even half the surgeon that Dr. Stevens is and will be, so maybe you should watch her work instead of her boobs. You might learn something, though I doubt it."
She replaced the glasses on her perfect nose and extended her hand. A reluctant intern handed her the magazine.
"Bitch," she heard one of them mutter under his breath as she walked away.
"That's Dr. Bitch to you."
Back in her office, she was going to throw the magazine away, but curiosity got the better of her. She sat down and studied the pictures of Dr. Stevens. It was understandable that some young men at this hospital found it difficult to let this pass. Those were some pictures...
Isobel Stevens was like the embodiment of the word woman. Addison almost felt sorry for her. Oozing sex appeal like this had to be as much of a burden as it was a blessing. As a surgeon, Addison had had her fair share of trying to achieve perfection, but Stevens seemed to have been given perfection as a birthright and a curse.
Addison walked over to a mirror and looked at herself. The pictures of the intern made her feel like eating some cream to fill out her hips.
Once, Stevens had let it slip that she had a baby at 16. Addison had berated her for telling a patient such a personal thing. The attending marvelled at the young body's ability to bounce back as nothing on the porcelain skin showed any trace of childbirth. Probably a silly thought. They would have edited the picture for that, it's not like stretch marks were a big turn on for young horny men, unfortunately...
Addison tentatively touched the picture with her fingertips. It was hard to reconcile this woman with her come hither look and heavy make-up with the bouncy, skilled, committed Dr. Stevens. Addison knew she was an attractive woman and that men desired her. But sometimes Stevens made her feel envious. The roundness of the hips, the shape of her legs, the rosiness of her cheeks...
Those breasts were beautiful. She could understand why men lusted after them. She imagined how they would feel to touch, to cup your hand around one and feel its weight and the silkiness of the skin...
Wait a minute!? What the hell was that?
This behaviour was no better than that of those chauvinist interns...
Disgusted, she closed the magazine and threw it in the trash. She touched up her hair and make-up, ignoring the pink blush of her cheeks, before walking out into the corridor with a composed face and the characteristic Montgomery swagger.
Ten seconds later, she hurried back into the office, picked the magazine up from the trash can and hid it guiltily in a locked drawer of her desk.
Addison had a terrible day that just kept getting worse. When she finally managed to change out of her scrubs sometimes after nine, she desperately wanted a drink and the familiar atmosphere of Joe's bar. She sighed with contentment as she swallowed the first sip of single malt, a habit picked up from Derek, when she heard the creaking of a stool next to her.
-Dr. Montgomery-She... Sorry. Dr. Montgomery.
Isobel Stevens. On hearing her voice, Addison had a sudden flashback to her earlier inappropriate thoughts and almost choked on her drink.
"You ok?"
To her horror, her eyes landed spontaneously on Dr. Steven's hinted cleavage and not on her face.
"Thank you, Stevens, I'm fine."
It sounded much more snippy than she had intended.
But the intern wasn't deterred.
"I heard what happened today. Did you really...? With the pants?
Addison couldn't hold back a smile.
"I did."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
A grin spread on Izzie's face.
"Thank you. I got used to it when I first got there, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate you sticking up for me."
"As an attending, it is part of my job to make sure hospital policy is adhered to; sexual harassment is not in keeping with the high standards of Seattle Grace."
Addison tried to sound as professional as possible.
"And the pants thing is what? Also part of Seattle Grace Hospital policy?"
Addison smiled again.
"Just one of the perks of having interns to torture."
"So I guess I should be glad that I've never really pissed you off, huh?"
"But you have, Dr. Stevens, many times." Addison said wryly.
"I have? But you never went after my pants…"
"Well, if that is your preferred method of punishment… Just let me know when and where, I'll do you too."
The realization of how her previous statement could be construed hit her like a ton of bricks.
"Dr. Stevens, I didn't mean…"
"That's ok, Dr. Montgomery, I didn't take it as a come on. I would have exhibited way more surprise at that. Besides, the 'losing my pants' bit, I have managed on my own, as you probably saw."
"I'm sure it was…" Addison waved her whisky-hand aimlessly and cleared her throat, searching for a politically correct word. "…in the best possible taste."
"Not really…" Izzie shrugged. "I was young, I needed the money." She smiled a self-deprecating smile.
"Let me buy you a drink."
Addison flinched a little and then berated herself. Of course Dr. Stevens didn't mean it like that when she asked to buy her a drink...
"Thank you, but I have one."
"Oh, please, you know you will want another one right after that one."
The intern waved her hand dismissively.
Normally, Addison might have reprimanded her for being overly familiar, but she just couldn't be bothered. She had always had a fondness for Isobel Stevens, even though she was far from certain that it was reciprocated.
The blonde leant forward to talk to Joe and Addison studied her closely. Somehow, sitting here in a pair of worn jeans and a top that had seen better days, Isobel Stevens still managed to look more beautiful than in those racy pictures. Addison had 200 dollar hair, a Dolce & Gabbana suit and a Prada handbag, and Izzie had nothing of the sort, but still…
The intern pushed a drink toward the attending and Addison smiled at her with genuine warmth.
When Izzie heard of Addison's stunt and then later why she had done it, she had felt such an overwhelming gratitude toward the attending that she had felt compelled to follow when she walked in the direction of Joe's, regardless of the fact that they really didn't talk like they used to anymore.
As she responded to Addison's smile with one of her own, other emotions surged to the surface. Tenderness was probably the most surprising of them, although the thought of how beautiful Addison looked even with tired eyes and faded make-up was also fairly unexpected.
She knew that Addison too had been the topic of many gossiping tongues and that's probably why Izzie was so sure the attending knew exactly just how much she hated the Dr. Booty thing, even though she tried to pretend she didn't care anymore.
The conversation between them flew easily, surprisingly so since it had been a good while since they had talked outside of the hospital.
They laughed about the chief's constant assurances that he was cutting down on hours, delegating. Izzie sounded a little sad when she joked about her baking habit. Addison tried to pretend she didn't care that her marriage was over. Izzie didn't buy it. Addison knew Izzie didn't buy it, but that was ok.
They ordered more to drink.
The alcohol spread a warm glow through Addison's chest. Things seemed increasingly ok. Derek's affair, her inability to love Mark, even though she probably should give him a chance, living in Seattle; the whisky whispered in her ear that those things weren't really so bad.
She had forgotten how funny and sweet Isobel Stevens could be. It was almost as if they were… friends.
The yellow light above the bar made Stevens' eyes porcelain bright. Addison remembered that she had thought about their unusual shade of brown before.
"Your eyes. They're strange."
"They are?"
Addison leant closer and scrutinized them closely.
"They're not brown brown, they're more like cinnamon. Or brown sugar. Very strange."
"I have strange eyes?" Izzie looked pensive.
"Don't get me wrong, your eyes are beautiful."
Addison was surprised by the tone of her voice. Where the hell did that come from?
"Thank you."
Izzie smiled a melt worthy smile. Addison's stomach felt… Well, she wasn't sure.
"Yours are better."
"They are?"
"Mmhm. They're gorgeous."
Izzie mirrored Addison's actions.
"All smoky and 'stormy seas' blue."
What the hell was this? Was she flirting with Addison Forbes Montgomery No-longer-Shepherd? The She-Shepherd? Satan? No? Then what was with all this talk about eyes? Seriously!
Izzie cleared her throat and straightened her back, trying to regain a grip on the situation.
They talked about the backed-up operating schedule for a while.
Izzie suggested that they'd order another round. This one really took the edge off her day. She was starting to feel slightly euphoric, like she often did when she mixed alcohol with relaxation after a stressful day.
She looked sideways at Addison. It wasn't just the eyes. The attending had such a striking face. And the way she carried herself, like she was queen of the world, regardless of the situation. Izzie wished she could be a little more like that.
She realised that she was staring and looked away not to be rude.
"Alex kissed me today. Why do you think that men want you the most after they've done their best to drive you away? And now he's sad, because I couldn't kiss him back. Seriously."
Addison was a little surprised by the revelation.
Izzie wasn't sure why she had brought it up. She just had this weird urge to be personal with Dr. Montgomery. And to bring up kissing, for some reason.
"Dr. Stevens, if I knew that I'd be hosting the Dr. Phil show. But I hear you. Mark moved to Seattle to pursue me, when he could just have behaved decently when I tried to give him a chance back in New York."
"Since you've dropped a man's pants for me, you could at least call me Izzie."
"I could. But then you'd have to call me Addison. At least outside of the hospital."
"Seriously?"
Addison nodded.
"Ok then. Addison."
Izzie took a swig from her drink. She was starting to feel a little drunk.
"Have you ever been with a woman?"
Addison just barely managed not to pour her drink over herself. She probably would have if she hadn't been slightly drunk and slow to react.
"What? No! No, I haven't."
Izzie had no idea what possessed her to ask that. It just happened, like so many things in her life. She mentally slapped herself. Too much!
Addison took a sip from her drink and tried to regain composure.
"I'm all for it, of course."
She wasn't sure why the question had shocked her.
"What made you ask me that, Stevens?"
"I'm sorry Dr. Montgomery. I shouldn't have asked such a personal question."
Izzie automatically reverted to a more formal tone.
"It's just that, well… Men, you know? Sometimes it's just not a good system."
Addison smiled.
"That's true…"
"Maybe it would be easier to be romantically interested in women. Maybe you'd actually understand why they do the things they do? And physically…."
"No stubble burn." Addison added emphatically, having been only with designer stubble men for the last eleven years.
"Almost a shame to be straight. Which I am, of course."
Izzie nodded.
"Me too…"
Addison glanced sideways at Izzie, who looked back with an inscrutable expression on her face.
The attending found herself thinking that Isobel Stevens was one of those people you just knew would know what to do in bed.
Izzie hadn't joked when she told Denny Duquette that she could do girl-on-girl. She just hadn't gotten round to it yet. So many men in her life all the time…
But why on earth had she felt compelled to ask Addison Forbes Montgomery No-longer-Shepherd this particular question? And why had she really hoped that she would say yes?
Addison reached the conclusion that she had drunk enough. It was close to midnight and she ought to be getting home.
"Right. I have a surgery at 9, so I should be getting home."
"I suppose you're right, I have early rounds."
Addison wasn't quite as graceful getting down from her bar stool as she would have wished. Izzie took her hand to steady her. Addison briefly registered how soft Stevens' hand was before the intern let go.
As they walked out of the doors, they realised it was raining.
"How are you getting home?" Addison asked the intern, who was shivering a little in her thin jacket.
"Walking." Izzie grimaced as raindrops fell on her face.
"No good. I'm getting a taxi, I've had too much to drink to be driving. I'll drop you off on the way."
"But Dr Montgomery, our house is on the other side of town."
"Don't argue, Stevens, I'm your boss. And I thought we agreed it was Addison?"
"Ok."
Izzie smiled at her and Addison felt a little dizzy. That was some smile.
The attending opened up her umbrella and motioned for Izzie to join her underneath.
The intern shuffled her feet restlessly to try to keep warm in the cold Seattle night. Addison put her arm around her and moved it across her back to generate heat. The intern leant into her.
Izzie tried not to say anything. She really did…
"Would you?"
"What?"
"Sleep with a woman?"
Addison stayed quiet for so long that Izzie thought she wouldn't answer.
"Maybe."
Addison turned her head and looked at Isobel Stevens, to try and work out where she was getting.
"If the right woman asked, I'd consider it."
Addison wasn't sure what made her say it. But there was something about the blonde tonight that made her feel comfortable and challenged at the same time.
Maybe it was because they had both lost something important lately and were in a unique position to understand each other.
Or maybe it was because it was like she saw Isobel Stevens for the first time. Really saw her…
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
And then they were kissing…
It made Addison all weak in the knees and with a madly, fiercely beating heart. She had only kissed a woman once before and that was Marie Davies during a game of truth or dare in college and she really hadn't been attracted to Marie Davies and…
Oh my god, the lips of Isobel Stevens… And the agility of her tongue… It was velvety and compliant but strong at the same time. Addison's hazy brain registered how different it was from kissing a man.
"You're a very good at that, Dr. Mon… Addison."
The earnestness of the statement and the way the blonde's voice was all out of breath and sensual made Addison's mouth go dry and her hands tremble.
She didn't think about the consequences before whispering:
"Come home with me?"
Izzie kissed her again. She had no idea how the hell this had happened, but it felt good. She had stopped applying rational thought somewhere around the time that Addison had put her arm around her back to keep her warm and she had actually felt warm for the first time since lying next to Denny's cool, lifeless body. She hadn't been thinking when she moved closer and she hadn't been thinking when she turned her head to find Addison's lips. She hadn't been thinking; not thinking felt good.
Izzie's body broke out in goose bumps and she had to focus to breathe. She knew now why she had always felt a little weird around Addison. They were made to be kissing. Her subconscious had probably been trying to tell her that all along, but she had been too preoccupied to listen.
She decided to pretend that she was Meredith: The Girl Who Picked Shepherds Up in Bars, and just go with the flow.
Addison hailed a taxi.
In the backseat, she pretended that her umbrella wouldn't close properly. With the black fabric to protect them from the driver's prying eyes, she pulled Izzie close again.
"You're really good at this too." she whispered between kisses.
Her body felt electrified. Addison realised that she desired Isobel Stevens like she hadn't desired anyone for a long time.
When they arrived at the hotel, the driver gave them a suspicious look. Addison kept her poker face on and tipped him generously.
As he sped off, Izzie and Addison looked at each other and burst out laughing. Izzie looked so beautiful when she laughed that Addison had to kiss her again. They broke apart when someone came.