DISCLAIMER: Grey's Anatomy and its characters are the property of Shonda Rhimes and ABC. No infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: Seasons 1-3.
The Good No-longer Shepherd
The morning after, Addison was late for work for the first time since she came to Seattle Grace. But it wasn't her fault, really, there had been a number of factors contributing to her tardiness. When she had stepped out of the bathroom, Izzie had just started to stir sleepily, pushing the duvet off, so she was naked down to her waist. There was something about Izzie's nape and shoulders that she couldn't resist. And her back... She acted on instinct, just wanting her lips to touch the soft skin along her spine... She hadn't actually meant to kiss her way all along it, making Izzie turn over and pull her down on top of her for a fiery make-out session, it just sort of happened. And when room service had interrupted them, with pancakes covered in maple syrup, just one of many unhealthy things Addison would gradually learn Izzie enjoyed having for breakfast. It wasn't really Addison's fault that she had taken some of that maple syrup, circled Addison's left nipple with it and proceeded to lick it off and then kiss her attending, the taste off syrup still on her sticky lips, making Addison so hot she was beyond any thoughts of time when she kissed her way down Izzie's body, letting some of the sticky syrup run along the inside of her thigh, following its trail with her lips and what you had started you had to finish, right? You didn't leave someone hanging that looked like Izzie had done right then, heaving chest, blushing cheeks, parted lips, hot, angry lust in her smoky brown eyes... Addison had to finish what she started. And it wasn't her fault that Izzie felt she HAD to return the favour, after she had come messily over Addison's tongue and lips, that still tasted faintly of maple syrup and very much of Izzie's raw feminine arousal, and it wasn't her fault that Izzie's hands had been sticky with syrup when she entangled them in her red hair, which made Addison have to take a second shower, and wash her hair, and it wasn't her fault that Izzie had to come with her into the shower to wash off the sticky mess that Addison had left behind, right? And off course, since she had caused the mess, Addison had to help her get it off, right? And it wasn't her fault that Izzie had gotten that look in her eyes again, when she had run the shower mitten over her sensitive place, just to clean her off, you see, and then Izzie had done that thing with her hand again, which left Addison spent and exhausted and only vaguely aware that they should have left by now...
And it wasn't her fault that the goodbye kiss in the car became so... sexual. That was Izzie's fault, strictly speaking, for not keeping her hands to herself and not keeping her lips on Addison's lips, but letting them roam free...
When Bailey marched toward Izzie with a furious look on her face, Addison took one for the team and slid up behind her.
"Sorry about making Stevens late, Dr. Bailey. We had an emergency this morning and I needed her to assist me on an urgent procedure."
"An emergency is an emergency..."
"Try to make sure the interns make it to rounds on time."
"Thank you!" Izzie mouthed to her behind Bailey's back.
"No... Thank YOU..."
Addison smiled mischievously at her, before walking off.
Addison had promised herself that under no circumstances would she be distracted by Izzie or by their affair while at work. It was going to be strictly on a teacher/student basis. And that's how it was. Well... Most of the time. She realised that there was going to be the odd visit to a locked on-call room, but that was it. Actually, probably not so odd, but pretty frequent visits to the on-call room... well, at least Addison knew herself. It didn't take more than a glance at the way Izzie's hips moved as she walked down the corridor in front of her, an accidental look into her sensuous, laughing eyes... And then there were other times, like when she came and stood next to her one morning and Addison realised that she was actually wearing one of her own used shirts under her scrub top, and she breathed in her scent, mixed with something else, that she realised must be herself and she just walked out of the room and reached for her pager...
Paging Dr. Stevens to the on-call room...
But that would be it. No moony eyes, no secret touching under tables in the cafeteria, no daring kisses in Really Old Guy's room... It wasn't just that she was paranoid that they would be found out, but also that she had to show herself that she could do this, be both lover and teacher, that she would succeed where Burke and Derek had partly failed.
Sometimes, she could almost swear that Izzie was winding her up to amuse herself...
"Dr. Montgomery, is sex another form of denial?"
"What? What do you know?"
For a nano-second, she actually thought that Izzie had told George about them. He was her best friend and friends talked...
Izzie faked surprise at her response and she felt rather than saw her hidden amusement.
"That... you have a GYN patient in here that you want us to see...?"
Her eyes narrowed at she looked at Izzie.
"That's right... That's right, I do. Shall we?"
She walked with them, and when O'Malley looked away, she gave Izzie a reproachful look, but her intern just smiled a secret smile back, with just a little hint of cheeky...
Izzie knew that it was perfectly safe to joke around with Addison, occasionally. Unlike the attending, she wasn't even slightly paranoid that they would be found out. The thought of them as a couple was so far from people's perception of the likely, that Izzie guessed that she would pretty much have to be caught with her tongue in her attending's mouth in the cafeteria for anyone to make the connection...
Izzie was still in probation, and Addison knew better than to rock that boat. So she didn't exactly cheat... Not exactly... Just sometimes, she...
"Really? Dr. Bailey said..."
Addison nodded and gave her a hint of a reassuring smile, telling her she had her back.
The excitement made Izzie's heart race, even though it was just a simple pelvic exam.
Immediately, she felt bad about her elation. You really didn't need to be an attending to diagnose the huge tumour on the girl's cervix; Izzie could have done it while still in medical school...
Addison had an important day ahead and promised herself that morning that there would be no distractions from the task ahead. Especially no dirty thoughts of hot interns, and no sex...
She felt a soft touch on the back of her hand.
Focus! She told herself sternly, and managed to get her mind out of the bedroom.
"No touching. I have to stay focused today. No pages, no on-call rooms."
Izzie was secretly tickled pink that she had the power to distract Addison. The thoughts of her attending having to focus not to give in to temptation gave her goose bumps all over. She laced her fingers with Addison's. Just holding her hand was... sensational...
"No touching! I have a really important case and a long day and I can't be thinking about you. So stay away from me!"
Izzie smiled and kissed her cheek. Addison smiled back and shoved her a little.
"Hey... Didn't I just say no touching!"
Izzie exited the room backwards, looking deeply into Addison's eyes the whole time, knowing how it would affect her. She loved how comfortable they had become in each other's company. She loved how Addison reacted to her. She loved how Addison couldn't resist her. She loved...
Izzie felt a tinge of worry when she heard that Addison had been in such close contact with the toxic patient. She mumbled some excuse and went back to the clinic to check up on her, even though she knew that Addison tried to keep the boundaries between working relationship and the other kind separate.
She found her laying down breathing into an oxygen mask. She felt her heart beat faster, from equal parts of worry and pride. She sat down on the edge of the bed next to hers.
"So, that was pretty cool what you just did, going in and putting her back under..."
Izzie beamed at her. She wasn't wearing a shirt under her scrubs today and Addison's eyes roamed the naked skin of her arms and the shape of her chest as she lay down and casually put her arms behind her head. The pose really showed her assets off to their advantage... and there she was again... Not even toxicity seemed to stop her mind from filling with images of naked skin, tangled limbs...
"Or stupid, take your pick..."
Her eyes moved down Izzie's body of their own accord, following every curve. When she looked into Izzie's face again, she could see a hint of a smile.
Damn you, Isobel Stevens, you know exactly what I'm thinking, don't you...
This wouldn't do, she had an important surgery to prepare for and she had promised herself no distractions... Also, she was worried that everyone could see what she was thinking, since it was really obvious that Izzie could.
"OK, I've got to..."
She got to her feet and shuffled off, throwing a last look at Izzie, who where still laying on the bunk with an amused smile on her face, knowing full well that there would be a page to an on-call room with her name on it at some point today, if not necessarily right now. Since Addison could think dirty thoughts, Izzie felt reassured that she didn't have to worry about her.
The page to the on-call room never came. Addison managed to resist temptation. Well, sort of...
"I thought you said you weren't thinking about me?"
Izzie broke the kiss and looked into Addison's eyes, heavy-lidded and darkened with desire in the half-lit room. She looked teasingly at her, moving her hand lodged between Addison's perfect thighs and coated in the thick sweetness of her arousal, just slightly, against her sensitive place.
Addison gasped and swallowed audibly.
"I don't. I am actively not thinking about you. Right... now."
She smiled sweetly at Izzie, before inclining her head and kissing her again, pouring all her pent up desires into it.
After sex, Addison laid with her head on Izzie's shoulder, quiet and seemingly deep in thought.
She didn't answer.
Unexpectedly, the attending sat straight up.
"I want you to come back to me."
"My specialty. You were easily the most talented in my field. I was actually pretty devastated when you decided to give it up."
"That's not what happened and you know that. "
"I really, honestly thought what I did was going to make you a better doctor."
"I'm not like you, Addison. I don't see caring about your patients as a weakness."
"But you are like me. I did it because you are exactly like I used to be."
"Well, it didn't work; it just made me stop trusting you."
Izzie looked down with a stubborn expression on her face.
Addison felt really shaken by her words.
"I'd like us to start fresh."
"I don't think I can. Not if we're going to be doing this. It would really mess with my head if you did something like that to me again and then wanted to get into my panties in the on-call room the next day."
Addison leant closer to the intern and took her hand.
"Isobel, I'm really sorry that I hurt you. I thought I was doing you a favour, but instead I ruined our working relationship. I promise I won't do anything to jeopardise it again, not if I can help it. I believe in you, and I want you to believe in me too."
"You can't favour me in any way, not even if I ask you to, ok?"
"I'll try, that's all. I can't promise anything. It might be awkward working with you knowing that I had my tongue in your mouth an hour before."
"Just talk to me if we have a problem, don't run away. I'd like to think that we know each other better by now."
"We know each other in the biblical sense, it's not the same."
Izzie bent forward and kissed her.
Addison refused to listen to the little voice that whispered that Burke and Derek had gotten in all kinds of trouble for working with their girlfriends. She told herself that it would be different for her and Izzie. Besides, they weren't even a couple, this was just sex...
"So who's the boss of you?"
She smiled mischievously at Izzie, who rolled her eyes in response and smiled back.
"Yeah yeah, you're the boss of me."
Addison could tell she was happy with her decision.
"Do I have a surgery for you tomorrow..."
"Do I have a supply closet for you tomorrow..."
Addison laughed heartily, the way she hadn't in a long time.
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