DISCLAIMER: Grey's Anatomy and its characters are the property of Shonda Rhimes and ABC. No infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: Seasons 1-3.
The Good No-longer Shepherd
Izzie and Addison had become a well oiled machine in the OR. They might almost have matched Burke and Cristina in their heyday.
They had largely succeeded in keeping it professional. Izzie almost always felt like she had the benefit of a great teacher, rather than working with a lover, when they were on cases together. Which was often these days... Sometimes, she had to shut a little voice up that kept telling her that she was getting to scrub in on an awful lot of groundbreaking surgeries...
The only exception was when their eyes met over the operating table. Addison's stormy blues still made her weak in the knees if she looked into them by accident. For brief flashes of time, the world disappeared and there was just the two of them, two warm bodies drawn to each other, two people who happened to be able to communicate without words. She noticed that occasionally, Addison drifted away for a fraction of a second as well. But not during surgery. Except, this didn't exactly turn out to be a normal surgery.
The trauma was massive, much worse than they had anticipated before opening her up.
"Damn it, I need more suction! And another retractor! Dr. Stevens!"
"I'm sorry Dr. Montgomery, but there is some additional bleeding, I can't let go here."
"Damn it Stevens! You'll have to stand behind me."
Izzie swallowed and closed her eyes briefly, praying that her body language didn't give anything away as she grabbed a retractor and slid herself slowly behind Addison.
"I'm sorry Dr. Montgomery, I'll have to lean against you."
"Whatever, Stevens, just get it done."
Izzie felt completely absurd standing in an OR filled with people pressed up against her boss/lover like this was a make out session.
"I need more traction, Stevens."
To reach, she slid her arm under Addison's and ended up with it sort of wrapped around her waist and her chin almost rested on her shoulder. It was probably because she knew she really shouldn't, couldn't think about that now that she was so acutely aware of the feeling of Addison's soft, shapely right breast against her upper arm. She briefly imagined kissing it, before she shook the thought and got her focus back.
She briefly put her chin down on Addison's shoulder, since the position took its toll on her back.
Addison briefly glanced backwards at her and Izzie could see her smiling behind her mask by the adorable laughter lines that formed around her breathtaking eyes...
Izzie didn't dare to smile back. She knew Addison didn't do this on purpose, but she just had a panicky feeling that everyone could see by their body language that this was two people who got naked and sweaty together on a regular basis.
She could see Alex and Cristina pointing and leering up in the gallery.
She looked at them and rolled her eyes at them like she was really embarrassed by the whole ting.
The frantic beeping of one of the monitors rudely put an end to her paranoid musings as the baby's pressure was dropping.
She and Addison never missed a prompt from the other. It was a bit like dancing, and Addison was really good at leading. When she barked commands at her intern, Izzie was usually already there, since her talent for reading Addison's signals also came in handy in the OR.
Izzie pulled it together and the surgery was completed successfully. She stayed behind for a few minutes to finish up the suturing.
As she left the OR to scrub out, she could sense Addison's eyes on her.
The attending cleared her throat.
"That shouldn't have been that hot."
"I could feel your breath on my neck and your body heat, even though we had all that material between us. It was disturbing. Surgery isn't supposed to be sexy..."
"Says you. Me; I'm bringing sexy back."
Izzie stepped closer, but not so close it would look funny.
"You certainly do. See, now I can feel your body heat again. Not good."
"What can I say? I guess you just make me hot..."
Addison bent forward to whisper in Izzie's ear.
"It's very lucky I'm not a man since having a hard-on in the OR would have been very inappropriate."
Izzie took a deep breath.
"You'd better scrub out again, Dr. Montgomery, because that was very dirty..."
She smiled warmly at Addison who stepped just a little closer.
"I really want to touch you right now..."
Izzie's whisper was barely audible but it was certainly enough to give Addison goose bumps.
For a moment, they just stood there, looking deeply into each others eyes, enjoying their secret.
They both jumped a little as Miranda Bailey walked in.
"Izzie, they need a consult in the pit, are you on it?"
Izzie nodded and left.
Bailey turned to Addison.
"Did you two have a fight or something? There's a weird look on your face."
That would be raw lust Addison thought wryly to herself as she avoided looking into Miranda Bailey's eyes.
"Look, I know that Stevens can be headstrong and insubordinate, so just let me know if you are having trouble with her."
It's not trouble I'm having with Stevens, Miranda... Actually, in a way it is...
She wistfully imagined fessing up, very briefly, but knew it was impossible.
"Stevens is fine, Miranda. It was just a difficult surgery."
Bailey didn't look convinced. But as long as she didn't know what was really going on, Addison could live with that.
"The chief says he wants to see you this afternoon, at four thirty."
"Really? What does he want?"
"I'm a surgeon, not a medium. You'll have to ask him that."
There was no way the Chief could know. At least, that was what Addison tried to tell herself as she was called to Richard Webber's office that afternoon.
But, on the other hand, there was Seattle Grace gossip...
It was the mighty cockroach of gossip. Nothing could kill it or slow it down. After a nuclear disaster, there would still be Seattle Grace gossip Had they given people anything to gossip about, was the question? Just how secret was their affair?
"Dr Montgomery, please sit down."
Dr Montgomery, not Addison. Not a good sign. She braced herself and sat.
"You have to let her go."
Addison's hands were cold and clammy as they rested in her lap, and damn it, was that a drop of sweat running down her spine? The Chief knew. She cleared her throat and tried to sound surprised.
"Who? Let who go?"
She tried desperately to feign ignorance.
"Richard, it's not what you think it is."
Actually, it's probably just what you think it is, only louder and more often, she thought to herself.
Her stomach had suddenly turned very acidic.
"Right now, she doesn't deserve it."
What did Izzie not deserve in Richards opinion? Really hot sex in the on call room? Mindblowing orgasms?
"What exactly is it she doesn't deserve, Richard?
"Your special attention."
"Well, that's one way of putting it," Addison said flatly.
She nervously ran her hand over her neck to check that she still didn't have traces of Izzie's lip gloss left from their short but intense make-out session an hour ago. She leant forward, ready to speak out in fury, when the Chief continued.
"Dr Stevens hasn't been out of probation for long. It isn't fair to the other interns that she receives special treatment from you or is given privileges in any way. She compromised Seattle Grace, Dr Bailey and her fellow interns and she must suffer the consequences. Simply put, Dr Stevens has to earn our trust back, because she doesn't deserve it yet. I need you to stop asking for her."
Relief and disappointment washed through her at the same time. Working with Izzie gave her a great deal of pleasure, not to mention an excuse to ogle her openly and touch her secretly now and again. And knowing when she'd be available for meetings in on-call rooms But at least Richard didn't seem to have an inkling of their affair.
"Are you with me on this Addison? I know how you appreciate her talent."
She tried not to laugh.
Dear Richard, sometimes he was right and then sometimes he was more right than he knew...
Going out of Richard Webber's office, Addison told herself sternly that this had to end. No more sex in the workplace. She would have to convince Izzie to come to her hotel room more often, that was all. She knew that Meredith and George were badgering her about who her secret bedfellow was, but Izzie was very resourceful, she would be able to work that out somehow.
She walked towards the neo natal care unit, feeling she had to tell Izzie about her meeting with the chief right away.
She stopped in the doorway and watched her competently handle the tiny baby. She loved Izzie's hands. Slender, soft and graceful... And still, they could be so strong and demanding at the same time. Mostly, she loved how they touched her so knowingly.
They hadn't slept together for a few days now. She had been on fire since having to perform surgery with Izzie's warm curves pressed against her and the sound of her breathing in her ear. She had almost dropped her scalpel when the intern's soft cheek had brushed against her jaw.
She had assumed the intensity of their affair would decrease gradually, that they would eventually stop wanting each other like this. But she had to admit, Izzie still made her embarrassingly aroused, even though they had been sleeping together for months.
"I like your hands "
She heard how lecherous her voice sounded and she supposed that Izzie did too. But she couldn't help it. Izzie's hands were one of Addison's most erogenous zones.
Izzie looked up at her and then down at her hands.
Addison really shouldn't. Really. She shouldn't. Seriously. But she so would anyway....
Without a word, she walked out of the room.
A few moments later, Izzie smiled as her beeper flashed "Dr Addison Montgomery" and then "on-call room".
Izzie sighed. She really shouldn't, but she so would anyway...
She waited a few minutes just to be on the safe side.
Addison waited for her just inside the door.
"Where have you been? I expect my interns to come when I page them."
"Oh, don't worry, I'll come... Do you really like my hands or just what I use them for?"
"Both." Addison's breath was shallow and fast as she waited for Izzie's next move.
The blonde touched her lips with just her fingertips. A shiver went through Addison as she felt Izzie's other hand slide down her front and approach the drawstring of her scrub pants. As Izzie passed the cotton barrier with one hand, her index- and middle finger of the other slid past the attending's soft lips and into the waiting moist warmth of Addison's mouth. Addison swirled her tongue around her fingers. The blonde's eyes flew shut for a moment. She loved all of Addison's soft, moist parts She searched some more of them out with her nimble surgeon's fingers.
Addison was usually fairly quiet during sex. Until she started sleeping with Isobel Stevens, that was; she might as well try to stop breathing as to try and be quiet. She had had to make a choice: having the upper hand and walk away from these sensational experiences or sometimes finding yourself, Addison Forbes Montgomery No-longer-Shepherd, neonatal surgeon extraordinaire, heiress, member of the top 1%, chairwoman of the heterosexual club, begging for sexual favours from a blond centrefold from a trailer park. Inside the bed room, or on-call room in some cases, she wasn't the boss of Isobel Stevens, but her slave.
Izzie swiftly snapped her bra off and kissed her right, deliciously rounded, breast. Addison pulled almost painfully on her blonde locks as she gasped from the sudden sensation of her warm lips on the baby soft skin.
Izzie smiled against the hillock. That was the thing about Addison, really; how she could make her feel like she was the queen of the world just by reacting to her, making a sound, a motion... Then there was of course the 'oozing sensuality'-bit as well... And that other thing, the x-factor that complicated the equation. But she wasn't really ready to deal with that yet...
She rewarded Addison for these feelings in an appropriate way.
"Come for me, Addie," she whispered, her voice low and sensual. Cruelly, she paused for a few seconds, denying Addison's screaming body her lips and her tongue.
"Isobel? Please "
The intern watched her boss' heaving chest, wildly beating pulse and white-knuckled death grip on the sheet with the smile of a Cheshire cat. God, or whoever was involved in these things, had given her a gift for driving this woman crazy
"Come for me", she urged again as she used her graceful fingers in the way that the moaning attending longed for and let out a satisfied sigh. Making the woman she had once known as Satan come was a passion that almost surpassed surgery.
And Addison did.
When she had come down from her high, her haunting blue eyes were veiled with emotion. Izzie slowly crawled up her body and kissed her with lips slick with Addison's own juices.
"I'm really good at this "
It was more of a purring than talk, really.
"That you are. Full marks, Stevens." Addison's voice was sated and raw as she pulled the intern close.
She tried to catch her breath.
"That was Have I mentioned that I really like your hands? I mean, really."
Izzie's pager went off.
"Ooh, trauma, got to run."
"Sorry, when Bailey calls, I run."
"Isobel! I had a meeting with the Chief. I have to stop asking for you."
"Why? The 'just out of probation' thing?"
"So I think that maybe we should be a little more careful. Richard might be keeping an eye on us. So maybe we shouldn't do... Well... this at work anymore?"
"Seriously? That's what you were going to say? Seriously."
"When did you meet the Chief?"
"Just now, before..."
"So how's that been working out for you so far?"
Izzie smiled a confident, cheeky smile that made Addison's stomach feel like she was on a roller coaster.
She threw her wrinkly scrub top at her intern in a huff, but couldn't help laughing.
Izzie pecked her on the cheek, splashed water on her face to wash away the most obvious evidence of Addison and ran out of the room, leaving her boss flushed, wrinkly and out of breath, not even having broken a sweat herself.
In the evening of the following day, Izzie went to check in on Ava before she left. She had promised Alex to cover for him.
When she looked up, Addison stood in the doorway. Izzie felt the butterflies playing in her stomach again, as always when Addison looked at her.
"I'm impressed Stevens. You spent the whole day watching a foetal monitor and never complained."
Izzie felt warm when she looked into Addison's smiling eyes.
"Well, I do what I'm told."
Izzie smiled a saucy smile at her.
Addison's smile got mischievous. Izzie had derived a whole lot of pleasure from teasing her last night when Addison lay naked in her arms, begging her to finish what she started...
"Depends on who's doing the telling."
Izzie heard how she sounded, but she couldn't help it.
"Goodnight, Dr. Stevens."
The simple sentence meant so much more and so did the smile full of promises that went with it.
"What was that?"
Ava's words were barely audible.
"I don't think I'm ready to answer that just yet. How about we talk about you and the redhead instead?
"Well, the redhead's my boss, so..."
"So, it's complicated."
Izzie smiled at Ava. How right she was. And how wrong... This really was complicated.
"Are you together?"
"No? Really? But there's a thing?"
"Yes, there's a thing."
"I knew it! I heard her talking about you the other day and I thought there was a thing. I'm good at this."
"Are you two in love? Sorry if it's a personal question, but I'm a damaged woman with amnesia, so I figure I might be able to get away with it."
Izzie hesitated a while before speaking.
"Some of us are."
It was the first time that Izzie had said it out loud. Even though it hurt, it felt good to get it off her chest.
"But not the redhead?"
Izzie shook her head.
"Oh, I see. That's harsh. Maybe she'll come around? She'd be a fool not to, you're really hot and you seem to be a very good person."
She patted Izzie supportively on the shoulder.
"Hey. I'm the one who's supposed to tell you it's going to be ok, remember."
"Well, we all have our troubles."
"Word." Izzie said and sighed.
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