DISCLAIMER: CSI and its characters are the property of Jerry Bruckheimer and CBS.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I really liked the prompts for this one and I'm hoping this turns out well. I tried to take a slightly more comical approach. Sorry I made it so long, but I really enjoyed creating it And the slightly conversational aspect made me laugh a couple times, so maybe it'll be humourous to you all! I know the title is weird but it'll make sense eventually After *counts* 12 pages!
CHALLENGE: Submitted as part of the Sara/Sofia 'Let's Get Sassy' ficathon.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
By Uriel Falcon
"You've got to be kidding me!" An angry shout reverberated through the large SUV as hot, thick smoke billowed from the engine and into the air. The furious detective steered the lumbering giant to the side of the road and shut off the engine. Climbing out onto the road, the tall blonde kicked her way through the dirt to the front of the machine, wrenching open the hood and waving away the thick smog.
Sofia Curtis stared for a long time at the engine and its many pieces. It seemed pointless, as she couldn't tell the difference between a radiator and the transmission. After staring for a few more moments and prodding the engine with a stick from the ground, Sofia sighed and tossed the stick away. Checking her cell phone, she found no signal. Now what was she supposed to do?
"Dammit! Why didn't I just stay home? At least then Sara could have NO! Sofia, you can't think like that. You are an independent, strong woman who does not need Sara to come and fix all her problems Though that would be nice Oh shut up " the blonde mumbled to herself, repeatedly scuffing at the dirt and adjusting her sleeves.
Being out here was not her choice; stranded in the middle of California near a remote town instead of at home was simply torture. Though there wasn't much at her condo, it was home nevertheless, and much more comfortable than out here in the sweltering heat.
Kicking the Denali didn't make her feel much better; neither did looking to either side of the highway and spotting nothing but a few tumbleweeds rolling by. Although Sara seemed to have a trust issue as of late, it would have been nice to have the brunette with her. She could fix anything mechanical, and the jumpsuit was a bonus. She just wished Sara would trust her a little more; the blonde's crush wasn't going away and since she had just come back from her trip to Boulder City, she wasn't about to run away. It wasn't a Curtis thing to do.
"Okay, stay calm. The Denali is broken down on the side of a highway; there's steam billowing out the front of the engine, your cell phone is dead and you're at least thirty miles away from the next town or mechanic. Now what would a sensible woman do?" After thinking for a moment, the detective sighed and walked a few feet away from the Denali, not noticing a quiet Chrysler 300C creep up behind the broken down vehicle. Placing her hand on her forehead and hip in a typical 'what now' position, Sofia groaned.
"Oh, fuck me..."
"Well, normally I like dinner first, but I suppose an exception can be made," a casual voice said from behind. Sofia whirled around, gun drawn. Sara's hands hit the air while her face morphed into a Cheshire grin.
"Hey, don't shoot!"
"Mind putting the gun down? That's a little intimidating," the brunette bargained, laughing lightly under her breath. Sofia tucked her gun away.
"Then it's working. Not that I mind you coming here to save my ass, but why exactly are you out here?" Sofia asked, remaining as calm as she could considering her very sexy crush was leaning against a very sexy car on a very hot day Snap out of it, Sofia. No drooling.
"Actually, I'm technically on vacation. I normally just drive until I hit Tamales bay and then head back. Looks like this is your lucky day," Sara explained, motioning for Sofia to hop in the car.
"I guess it is What am I going to do about the lab's truck though? I'm supposed to be meeting some guy for information on the Delavan case," the tall blonde stated, pointing to the Denali. Sara waved it off.
"That's another reason I'm out here. Lab said they couldn't get a hold of you, so I figured I catch you here. The meeting's cancelled; the guy you were supposed to meet is dead and they found both killers. Don't worry about the Denali; I'll call for a tow truck on the department's Visa." With a grin, Sara flipped open her phone, quickly rattling off where they were. Sofia sighed.
"I really hate the Undersherriff Bloody rodent," she mumbled, adjusting her white button up shirt as best as she could. The dust was already starting to show up on its front. Sara sauntered over after the call, looking the Denali up and down.
"The uni-belt probably broke, but I'm not taking time out of my day to fix it. I don't get paid enough," the dark woman quipped, walking back to her car. Sofia followed after grabbing her overnight bag from the back of the Denali. Sliding into the passenger's seat, Sofia noted the beautiful interior made up of golds and forest greens. The outside was forest green with gold trim; evidently it was a well-followed colour scheme.
"So, do you want to go home or do you want to come with me for a day?" Almost immediately the answer was thrown out.
"You please! Err, I mean Sure, I'll come with you," the blonde answered, mentally cussing herself out for sounding so excited. But the brunette seemed to ignore it, casually shifting gears and heading out onto the highway.
"Nice car," Sofia commented, running her hand along the dashboard.
"Thanks. I worked pretty hard on making it look the best it could. It's a great magnet for sexy chicks stranded on the side of the highway; mostly hot blondes with large guns." Sofia swallowed hard at the obvious come on.
"Oh, really?" she commented, subconsciously picking at the fluff on the side of her jeans. This was very strange behaviour for Sara, especially considering the dark brunette didn't seem to trust the blonde at all; she generally didn't trust a lot of people, nor did she make flirtatious comments.
"Yeah, totally. I don't get to go driving as much as I used to because of work nowadays, but then again, I suppose crime stops for no one. When I do go driving, my car gets quite a lot of attention," Sara laughed, waggling her eyebrows as a joke. Sofia scoffed and lightly smacked the driver on the arm, laughing all the same.
"Surely not as much attention as you though," the blonde commented in a purposely casual tone. Sara laughed and wagged a finger at her.
"Hey, no flirting; that's my job." The car was filled with laughter once again.
Three hours later
"We should probably stop for something to eat soon," Sara stated, adjusting the air conditioning to suit the scorching afternoon. Sofia's stomach roared in time, causing her cheeks to flare red.
"Uh, yeah probably " As the detective trailed off, the brunette turned into a truck stop, idling near the restaurant portion.
"Here, grab us a table and I'll be in after filling up." Sofia nodded and stepped out, walking into the restaurant. Sitting down at a two-seat window table, the blonde waited for service while watching Sara at the gas pumps. It was a bit of a habit; she liked to keep an eye on the curious CSIs, especially the dark enigma known as Sara Sidle.
"What can I get for you, honey?" Sofia turned and faced the waitress.
"Could I get two cups of coffee please?" The waitress raised her eyebrow.
"Just for you, hon?" Sofia shook her head.
"No, my partner will be here in a minute," the blonde replied. The waitress nodded and turned away, but not before being nauseously sweet.
"Sure, no problem, honey." As the waitress moved away, Sofia's eye twitched. Sara laughed as she sat down.
"So, how are you, honey?" the brunette teased playfully. The detective glared at her before taking a napkin, crumpling it into a ball and chucking it at Sara. The waitress came back with the coffee and, as she noticed Sara, she placed the coffee down without so much as a flirtatious glance. Sara grinned and opened her mouth to make another comment.
"Bite me, Sidle."
"Dinner first." Sofia choked on her coffee, swiftly placing it down and coughing into her hand. Sara laughed quietly, sipping at her coffee. As the detective recovered, the waitress returned with two menus.
"Here are your menus, I'll be back-"
"I'll have the house salad, sunny-side up eggs, hash browns on a separate plate and a glass of milk. She'll have the steak and eggs, an order of multi-grain toast and a plate of home fries. Eggs are scrambled and the steak is medium rare with a glass of orange juice," Sara ordered, calmly handing back the menus. Sofia's jaw dropped as the waitress took the order and walked away.
"How did you know exactly what I wanted?" the detective asked, her eyes widened. Sara leaned back in her seat, smiling slightly. Closing her eyes, she began to speak.
"Last Thursday you had multi-grain toast with orange juice while telling Wendy you preferred to have it with steak and eggs. Medium rare because you prefer a juicier taste, as you once told Catherine, and scrambled eggs because you don't really like the whites, as you once told Greg."
"Sidle, that was the creepiest thing you've ever said, but also the sweetest because you noticed such little things, so thanks. But now I think you made the waitress think we're lovers or something," the blonde mentioned, pointing to the slightly disappointed waitress. Sara laughed.
"Tch, like I have a chance with the hottest detective in Vegas. Besides, she's a waitress at a truck stop who's missing three of her back teeth and about to lose the fourth, so she doesn't have a chance either. Kinda gross," Sara commented under her coffee cup. Sofia turned to her, gently reaching over and pushing the coffee cup down.
"You do have a chance," the detective said softly, gaining the brunette's attention. Sara's normal shyness came roaring back as she blushed, desperately trying to think of something good to say. Dammit, why didn't I ask Catherine for more advice? It was working! the brunette thought. Within a second, Sofia pulled back as their food was placed down. The waitress mumbled something before disappearing to another table.
The two ate in silence for a while before slowly slipping back into candid conversation, focusing on general information, like favourite colour or foods. After finishing, Sofia reached for the bill before being swatted away.
"No, I've got it," the brunette left no room for argument before standing up and quickly paying the bill. Sofia gave her a flat look before smiling.
"Geez, why can't my dates be more like you?"
"You've had to pay for a meal on a date before?"
"Shitty deal, eh?"
"Give me some names; I'll set a couple straight."
"Hey, I've got the bigger gun here, little missy," Sofia teased as they got into the car. Sara raised her eyebrow.
"I'm 5'9, thumb to pinkie I've got nearly eight inches in width and I own a musket. I think I win, little missy," the brunette laughed, shifting gears and heading out. Sofia tried to think of a come back before giving up.
Five hours and one horrible, wretched truck-stop bathroom experience later
"Hey, Sara "
"About that dinner " Laughter roared through the car, drowning out the CD player. As the two women began wiping the tears out of their eyes, a bright sign caught their attention.
"Road to Tamales Inn?" the blonde read off, raising her eyebrow. Sara smiled.
"They just built this place a few years ago. I'm interested to see what it's like Let's grab a bite to eat there and get a room," the dark CSI suggested, pulling into the parking lot. It looked almost completely full.
"I hope there's a room " Sofia commented as they stepped into the lobby. Sara walked up to the front desk, where a clerk was waiting to serve.
"Welcome to the Road to Tamales Inn. How can I help you?" the clerk said in a memorized fashion.
"We'd like a room for the night, please," the brunette replied, leaning on the front desk. Sofia held her own bag while Sara had a backpack. The clerk looked through a book before turning back to the women.
"I'm sorry ladies; the only room we have left is the honeymoon suite. I can charge you the minimal fee to compensate," the clerk said, ringing up the bill. After paying and being handed the key, the women walked up two sets of stairs before finding their bright red door, the numbers encased in a heart.
"This is sort of ironic "
"Think of it. I get picked up off the side of the road, fed breakfast, fed lunch, brought to a hotel and led up to a honeymoon suite, all from a fast decision "
"Fast plans are sometimes the best, you know. Especially when your date is dead sexy "
"You like it?"
"Sidle, you certainly have a weird streak today."
"Blame it on the fresh air."
"Oh wow!" Sofia exclaimed as Sara opened the door to the suite. It was very impressive, considering it had a kitchen, a large table, a Jacuzzi in the bathroom along with a shower and a bathtub. In the center of the bedroom was one large, king-sized canopy bed.
"Look at the detail on the tiles in the bathroom! Little hearts everywhere, that's so cute!" the blonde squealed, caught up in the whirl of such a lovey-dovey room. The dark brunette laughed, setting her things down on the bed.
"Why, detective Curtis, I didn't know you had such a girlie side. Sooner or later you'll have doilies on the inside of your squad car " Sara joked, swiftly being silenced by a large fluffy towel being pelted into the side of her head.
"Sidle, I swear if you tell a soul I will crush your head like a pea."
"Sure thing, Attila, sure thing."
"Uh-oh." Sara leapt over the couch as Sofia began to chase her around the Honeymoon suite, occasionally throwing soft fluffy things at the running brunette.
Six and a half minutes later
"I think I need to cut down on the donuts " Sofia mumbled from her place on the bed, panting. Sara snorted beside her, also panting.
"Well, I figure as long as you catch them within five minutes you'll still have just enough energy to cuff them before throwing up from exhaustion and eating." she laughed out. Sofia elbowed the brunette in the side, grumbling.
"That was an awkward conversation progression."
"I'm still hungry, Sidle."
"That's too much-"
"The lab is paying."
After a dinner of many good things
"That was so good ." Sofia mumbled, wiping her lip with a napkin. The brunette nodded in agreement, patting her stomach.
"Lets watch a movie or something, let this all settle."
"What kind of movie?" the blonde asked, flopping onto the bed. Sara shrugged and checked under the television cabinet.
"Let's see Well, there's a whole bunch of sappy titles I'll just pop one in and see what happens," the brunette mumbled, popping a tape in.
One and a half hours of the most heart-breaking romantic movie later
Sofia was cuddled up into Sara's arms, sniffling gently at the movie's end. They were laying back on a mass amount of large, red pillows, surrounded by fluffy blankets and a teddy bear that had mysteriously appeared from Sara's backpack and jumped into Sofia's arms Or at least, that's the story they're sticking to.
"That was so romantic and sad I always wished I'd have someone who'd be that in love with me, so much that they'd try to change their ways What a fairytale," the blonde mumbled into Sara's shirt, hanging onto the teddy bear in earnest. A whisper almost went by unnoticed.
"I tried to change." Blue eyes went wide and looked up, a smile creeping its way onto the detective's face. Sara cupped the blonde's chin with her hand, bringing her up to an earth-shattering kiss. Sofia moaned into the kiss, running her hand up the back of Sara's neck and into her dark locks, pushing her closer. The brunette ran her tongue over her partner's lips, gaining access to the warm cave. The detective grabbed a fistful of Sara's shirt, yanking her towards her as she toppled backwards, holding the dark woman close to her.
"Could you move the teddy bear? Its nose is digging into my ribs " Sofia laughed slightly before reaching down and removing the teddy bear from between them. Giggling sounded out through the room as Sara dipped down for another kiss, her breath tickling the detective. Gently massaging the blonde's tongue with her own, Sara let her weight rest slightly on Sofia, using her elbows to keep herself up. The shorter woman sighed as she ran her hands down Sara's taut sides, playing with the edges of her ribs.
"I never thought I'd get this close to the elusive Sara Sidle," the blonde mumbled, running the flats of her hands up and down the dark woman's sloped sides underneath her shirt. Sara smiled gently.
"I'm sorry I've been so cold towards you. I didn't want to get close because I knew I would fall," she explained, gently nuzzling the blonde's nose with her own. Sofia giggled, placing a gentle kiss on her lover's lips.
"That's okay. I figured you didn't really mean it," she replied before sealing another kiss. Sara broke off gently, kissing down her jaw and sucking on the soft skin there. Sofia moaned openly, her fingers steadily increasing the pressure of their grip on Sara's sides.
The brunette smiled into the slightly red skin, loving the unique taste of strawberries and something else; something purely Sofia. She continued to explore the skin of the blonde below her, nuzzling and nipping at pressure points around the collar bone and neck. Sofia groaned loudly and scraped her nails harder against Sara's sides, leaving hot red trails of pleasure. The brunette arched up slightly, breaking the contact with Sofia's pulse point to whisper an expletive.
The detective took advantage of this moment, reaching up and latching onto Sara's pulse point, nipping and sucking at the fast beating vein. The brunette growled in her throat, struggling to hold herself above the beautiful woman below her. Sofia pushed Sara onto her back, straddling the brunette's hips. Leaning over her, Sofia once again latched onto her pulse point as she began undoing the brunette's shirt buttons. Sara sighed, letting her hands run up and down the perfectly shaped thighs of the detective.
"You taste like vanilla," Sofia whispered into the brunette's ear, her tongue slipping out and tracing her ear. Sara nipped at the blonde's jaw line in response, causing Sofia's breath to hitch. Rolling her over, the dark woman popped open Sofia's shirt, running her hands over the blonde's shoulders and removing the shirt part way, revealing a turquoise bra.
"And you, my lacy goddess, taste of wonderful strawberries," she mumbled, leaning down and kissing around Sofia's heart and the tops of her breasts. The blonde sat up, pulling her shirt off and tossing it over the edge of the bed. Grabbing at the front of Sara's shirt, she pulled hard, sending buttons flying about the room. Leaping forward, she trapped the brunette beneath her by latching onto her neck, nipping and sucking roughly towards the black sports bra.
"Hey, slow down, I'm not going anywhere," the CSI moaned out, running her hands down the blonde's soft back. Sofia giggled as Sara's hands ran over a tickle spot. The brunette raised her eyebrow.
"Ticklish?" She asked, once again flipping them over to lean above the blonde. Sofia growled slightly, raking her fingers down the CSI's back, causing her to moan loudly.
"Less talkin', more lovin'," Sofia mumbled, reaching farther and grabbing Sara's tight ass. The brunette gave a hitched groan before capturing Sofia in a ravishing kiss while undoing the detective's bra. After discarding the irritating lace, Sara leaned down and began lavishing Sofia's breasts with her mouth and skilled tongue. The detective moaned loudly, her nails digging into her lover's taut back.
"Oh Sara," she moaned, raising her legs to wrap around the brunette's slim waist, grinding her body forward. Sara smiled into her skin and continued down her body, letting her tongue slide over the long expanse of muscle and skin down to the blonde's bar-studded navel. Using her tongue, the taller woman toyed with the piercing, all the while struggling to keep the detective from bucking off of the bed.
Sofia's hands quickly found refuge in the dark locks of her love, tightening and pulling as the CSI undid the button on her jeans using only her mouth. The talented woman then proceeded to strip the rest of the blonde's clothing off, tossing it unceremoniously to the side. A tender moment was shared as the brunette rested her head on Sofia's stomach, gently caressing her legs.
"So beautiful," the taller woman mumbled as she lifted up to kiss Sofia, their lips locking and their tongues duelling wildly. The blonde groaned as her center ground against the rough material of Sara's thick denim jeans.
"Oh God," she growled, scraping her nails along Sara's scalp. The CSI purred with enjoyment, shooting her lover a sultry gaze before slipping down her body. Kissing the patch of blonde fur lightly, the brunette gently opened Sofia with her tongue, the thick juices flowing into her awaiting mouth. Sara increased her pace, lapping and suckling all along Sofia's glistening love rose.
"Oh Sara, yes!" she cried out, her hips bucking off the bed in an attempt to get more of the brunette's talented tongue. Gripping her hips tightly, Sara continued to feast, using her tongue to probe and flick both the blonde's opening and clit. Faster and faster, the intensity grew until a hoarse cry erupted from Sofia, her orgasm crashing hard. After lapping up the remaining juices, the brunette laid her head on the detective's chest, gently sighing.
"You okay?" she asked after several minutes. Sofia chuckled low, running her hands down Sara's back.
"I think you're wearing too much," she mumbled, trying to locate a clasp on the brunette's bra.
"Um In a minute?"
"Pass me my bag, will you?"
"It's got my knife."
"That bra is going."
"I could just take it off "
"But then you'd put it back on."
"Isn't that the point?"
A large amount of time spent making sweet love later
"I can't move
"Me neither What did you DO to me?"
"I'd make a list but I don't think you'd appreciate that "
"Pass the remote "
"YOU ARE NOT WATCHING TELEVISION AFTER HOT SWEET LOVE!"
"I know. I want to turn that stupid light on the DVD player off."
"Hot sweet love, eh?"
"Shut up Sidle "
The two women exited the hotel with their bags, although one person was missing a sports bra and the other was wobbling. Getting into the car, Sofia groaned.
"Please take me home, I need a serious day on the couch with a large amount of chocolate and chips," the blonde whined in a light-hearted manner. Sara laughed, pulling out of the lot and turning onto the highway.
"Sure thing love," she replied, quickly shifting the car into a higher gear. Sofia grinned, turning to the brunette.
"Really?" Sara raised an eyebrow.
"What you just said."
"I'm not following "
"You love me?"
" Am I not supposed to?"
"Of course you are! YES! HAPPY DANCE!"
"That was the most embarrassing dance I've ever seen you perform."
"What other dances...Oh that dance "
"Is there any chance of a repeat performance?"
"Maybe, Sidle, maybe "
"HANDS ON THE WHEEL!"
Return to C.S.I. Fiction
Return to Main Page