DISCLAIMER: Bad Girls is the property of Shed productions, this story depicts a loving/sexual relationship between women...okay, disclaimer done.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Healing Hearts
By Sarah

CHAPTER ONE

“Mmmm can you think of a more perfect way to wake up on a Sunday morning?” Helen asked rhetorically as she curled even closer to her lover under the duvet, relishing the feel of her naked skin against her own.

Tightening her arms around the waist of the woman besides her, Nikki softly kissed Helen’s brow. “The only thing would be waking up this way every morning” she mused.

Smiling Helen shifted so that she was lying full length against Nikki, breast to breast and hip to hip. Nikki automatically spread her legs so that Helen was lying between them and leaned up to kiss Helen lightly on the lips. “Now that would be perfect” Helen murmured, against Nikki’s lips before gliding her tongue between Nikki’s lips and kissing her passionately. Moaning Nikki reached up and tangled her hands in Helen’s hair returning the kiss. Smiling against Nikki’s mouth Helen stopped kissing her lips to place a tiny kiss on her nose before moving her lips along her cheek, down to her neck, along her collar bone. Thrilling at the quickened breath of Nikki, Helen paused, looked up to see Nikki’s lidded gaze on her then continued her slow journey, kissing her way from the top of Nikki’s breast to her nipple. Helen’s lips hovered over the nipple, gently breathing across the sensitive bud. Nikki moaned and arched her back hoping that Helen would end this torture. As Nikki’s nipple came closer to her lips, Helen moved back a bit prolonging the longing they both felt, until she couldn’t any more and she extended her tongue to touch the tip. She was but a millimetre away when a shrilling noise rang from the left side of the bed. Both women stopped, looked at each other and then at the offending apparatus.

“Don’t answer it” Nikki beseeched at the same time that Helen muttered “This better be good”. Getting off of Nikki, Helen threw an apologetic glance at her lover and moved to answer the phone. Sighing Nikki waited quietly listening to Helen’s side of the conversation, throwing herself back against the pillows with an arm across her eyes when she heard the four words she had been dreading. “I’ll be right in” Helen said before replacing the receiver and turning to look at Nikki’s prone being.

“I’m sorry Nikki, but I’m needed. The transplant unit called, they’ve got a donor for Denny Blood, a patient of mine.” she said before getting off the bed and reaching for her clothes. Nikki just continued to lie there not moving a muscle. Once dressed Helen turned back to the bed, sighing she sat on the edge and leaned over trapping Nikki’s body to the bed between her arms. “Nikki” she said, but on getting no reply she leaned forward, kissed her on the lips and moved from the bed to the door, turning she looked at the woman she was growing to love more than she ever thought possible, before leaving the room and moving down the stairs.

A few seconds later when Nikki eventually heard the front door close, she removed her arm from her eyes, rolled up in a little ball and swiped at the one lone tear that crept down her cheek.

“Trish I don’t need your help to find dates. If I wanted a date I could get one. I don’t need to be pushed into it. And besides if I was to go on a date what would I do about Jessie?.” Nikki said down the telephone while she continued to fold laundry, and smiled at her daughter as she sat in her booster chair at the table, engrossed in playing with her toys.

“I’ll baby-sit, after all what’s the point in being a God-mother if you don’t have to baby-sit every now and then. Please Nikki, you need to get out a bit, you’ve been cooped up in that house since .... since ... since .....” Trish faltered unwilling to voice how long it had been since her friend had been out socially.

“Since Maggie died eighteen months ago” Nikki answered for her, putting down the laundry and scooping her daughter into her arms suddenly needing the contact.

“Yeah since Maggie died” Trish whispered. There was silence down the line as both women were lost in their own memories of a woman they both loved, Trish as a sister and Nikki as a lover. “I miss her” Trish said on a sob.

“Yeah me too” Nikki answered equally upset. The gurgle and chuckle of the baby in her arms brought Nikki out of her reverie and she looked into eyes so much like that of her mothers, and made her decision. “But you're right, it’s time to start living again, Maggie wouldn’t want me to live my life this way. So who is this woman anyway?”

“Her name is Helen Stewart and she’s a consultant Cardio Thoracic surgeon here at St. Pete’s. She’s just moved to the area from a big London hospital a month ago and doesn’t really know anyone outside of work. Oh did I mention she’s gorgeous Nikki, absolutely stunning.”

Nikki chuckled. “Sounds too good to be true. Why do you want me to go out with her why not yourself?” she asked curiously.

“We’ve been out, it wouldn’t work” Trish answered matter of factly.

“Oh great so I’m getting your cast offs!” Nikki said jokingly, before giving up “OK where and when?”

“Mmm well how about tonight at The Golden Goose? I’ll come around about 7.30pm you can meet her for 8.00pm”

“OK See you later” She said and rang off. Carrying Jessie up to the bedroom she had shared with Maggie for five years, she rummaged through her wardrobe looking for something to wear that was suitable for meeting a London heart doctor but still OK for going to the pub in.

“Helen ... Helen wait up” When Dr Helen Stewart heard the shout of her friend Staff Nurse Trish Harris, she stopped her walk along the corridor and waited for her to catch up, admiring the sight of her in her dark blue nurses uniform and noticing that others were too, of both genders.

“Hi Trish, how are you today?” she asked as they both started walking towards the wards.

“I’m fine, but I have a favour to ask?” Trish replied with what Helen thought was a mixture of apprehension and delight. A sense of foreboding ran down Helen’s back.

“Am I going to like this?” she asked

“Of course you are” Trish answered as if it was obvious that Helen was going to like it even though she didn’t yet know what it was. “I have this friend .......”

“Yeeesss” Helen drew out the word when Trish stopped talking.

“Well the thing is I’m a bit worried about her.” Trish finished before moving aside to allow a speeding house doctor pass .

Now Helen’s professional concern was piqued, Trish was a good nurse and if she was worried about someone’s medical condition then there was a very good chance that that someone needed to see a doctor. “How so? Is she in pain? Maybe you could get her in to see me, if you're really worried”

“What?” Trish answered a bit distracted, her thoughts miles away from what she had said trying to think how to put her plan into action, she really hadn’t thought this through, what if Helen said no after she had already talked to Nikki about it.

“Your friend.” Helen reminded. “If you're really worried about her then maybe you could get her to come in and see me” She repeated.

“Oh no, no she doesn’t need a doctor. That’s not why I am worried about her. Remember when I told you about Maggie?” Trish asked and once she received a nod from Helen continued. “Well it’s been eighteen months since Maggie died and Nikki hasn’t really left the house except to go to the shops and the office and even then she takes Jessie with her. I’m getting worried because if she doesn’t start getting out socially again then she’s going to find herself alone and ..........” Helen held up a hand, Trish had started to babble, something Helen noticed, she was prone to do when she was really worried about something important to her.

“So you want me to baby sit Nikki’s daughter while you take her out with all your friends?” Helen asked, hoping it wasn’t the other idea that was beginning to infest itself in her consciousness.

“Nope I’m going to baby sit Jessie. I want you to take Nikki out on a date.” Trish said with a big smile on her beautiful face.

That was it! That was the other idea that was meandering through her thoughts. “Oh no Trish not a blind date. You know I don’t like them. I prefer my idea I’ll baby sit ... you date.” Helen protested.

“No no no, I’ve got it all sorted. Nikki is expected you at The Golden Goose at 8.00pm”

“Tonight?” Helen squeaked before looking to see if anyone had noticed her usual calm persona slip.

“Yes tonight, and Doctor Stewart you will be there” Trish said before walking off before Helen had chance to object.

Helen walked through the doors of The Golden Goose at 7.55pm, outwardly projecting an aura of calm but inside her emotions were churning, as they had been doing ever since Trish had left her this afternoon. So many times since she had gone looking for Trish to tell her to call it off, only to balk at the last second with thoughts of why not?, reasoning that Trish wouldn’t set her up with a murderering psychopath. It was just a friend of Trish’s who needed a little bringing out of her shell since the loss of her partner. She could do this.

After she had decided that she was going the next thought had been what was she going to wear? Her bed was littered with all the clothes she had brought with her from London a month ago, which wasn‘t much admittedly but enough that she wasn‘t looking forward to putting them all away again when she got home later.

After allowing her eyes adjust to the light of the bar she made her way over to the barmaid, wondering how she was supposed to recognise this friend of Trish’s anyway.

“White wine please” she asked the spiky haired girl behind the bar, before turning to the door when she heard it open, a bit relieved to see a group of lads walk in and not someone who looked like they were here for a blind date. Turning back Helen paid for her drink and made her way over to a table to wait.

“Well this is it” Nikki thought to herself as she stood outside The Golden Goose and mentally prepared herself for what she was about to do. “It’s only a drink, with a friend of Trish’s, it’s no biggie” Running a hand through her short hair, she stood aside while a group of lads went in in front of her and before she could change her mind grabbed the door and went in after them.

Making her way over to the bar, she smiled when she noticed that Shaz was working.

“Hello Shaz, long time.” she greeted the short teenager behind the bar.

“Hey Nik. How have you been? I haven’t seen you in ages.” Shaz answered then realising the reason she hadn’t seen Nikki was because Maggie had died, Shaz lost her smile a little.

There was a small silence before Nikki continued. “Fine I’m getting there. Can I have a white wine please?”

“Sure thing.” Shaz beamed glad that the awkward moment was passing. “Trish rang about 10 minutes ago, said you were meeting Helen and that I should point her out to you. I just wanna say I think it’s great that you're getting back out there again.”

“Uh thanks Shaz” Nikki said taking a sip of her wine and having a quick peak around the bar, hoping she could spot her “date”.

“So you're on a blind date huh?” Shaz continued “Well have fun. Helen’s a really nice lady”

“You’ve met her?” Nikki asked.

“Yeah, she’s been in with Trish a couple of times. She’s a real hottie” Shaz answered with the enthusiasm of a teenager with a crush.

“Is she here?” Nikki asked with a little trepidation.

“What?” Shaz asked a little distracted as another group of people came up to the bar to order. “Oh yeah she’s there behind you at the table by the slot machine. Have fun.” Shaz added over her shoulder as she walked off to serve more drinks.

Nikki turned to look at the women Shaz had indicated and quickly took in the green eyes, in the perfect face, framed by the straight, blonde bob that fell graciously to the red leather clad shoulders and arms, which led to the delicate hands and long fingers, with short manicured nails, painted a soft pink, that were currently twisting the stem of a wine glass. Stunning was the word that sprung to mind.

Turning back to the bar, Nikki finished her drink and call Shaz back over. “Give us another of these Shaz and whatever the lady is drinking”. When the two wines were delivered Nikki took another deep breath and turned.

Helen took anther look at her watch while sipping at her wine. It seemed like hours had passed when in fact it had been mere minutes since she had arrived. Looking at the bar she noticed the barmaid who had served her was now serving one of the lads who had just come in. Noticing the pure happiness in her smile, Helen figured it must be a boyfriend or at least someone she cared about a lot. Turning to look around the pub, hoping to see someone who looked just as lost as she thought she must be looking, Helen felt a presence arrive at the table and looked to see that it was the lad who had been at the bar, now standing before her with two glasses of white wine in his hands.

Her hands, Helen amended, as it became strikingly obvious that this was a woman stood before her. A very gorgeous women Helen thought as she took in the short black hair, chocolate brown eyes, and lips ... wow lips that were so obviously made for kissing. Whoa, slow down there Helen you don’t even know who this person is! And then those lips were speaking a voice that quite literally sent a shiver down Helen’s back was saying her name.

CHAPTER TWO

"Helen, thanks for coming in on your day off" Dr. Roisin Connor greeted Helen as she entered the ward.

"No problem" Helen replied still thinking about Nikki's reaction to her coming into work this morning. "What's the situation?" she asked stopping just outside the private room where Denny was hooked up to several machines monitoring her every output from breathing to urine, heart rate to temperature. Helen saw that Trish was at Denny's bedside doing some obs. Two women were sat at the bed talking comfortably to each other but keeping a watchful eye on the occupant of the bed who was lightly sleeping. Helen could see that Shaz Wiley, Denny's girl friend and barmaid at The Golden Goose, was excited having obviously heard that they might have a donor, while Yvonne Atkins was trying to keep the young girl grounded while quietly excited also that her adopted daughter may be about to get the treatment they had been waiting for, for so long.

Helen knew that they were fast running out of time for young Denny and hoped that the news was good news. Turning to Roisin she waited for her answer.

"The match looks like a viable option, 16 year old in good health in a RTA this morning, been on a ventilator since she was brought in. Parents are just saying there last good byes, poor souls." Roisin sympathised, not wishing the loss of a child on anyone. "God only knows what they are going through." she added.

Helen bade Roisin a small smile knowing that the older woman was thinking about her own children at that moment.

Trish came out then and Helen could see a look in her eyes that showed that the staff nurse was worried about something.
"What is it?" She asked

"Her temperatures a bit high." Trish answered.

Helen pinched the top of her nose between two fingers and whispered softly "Damn." thinking about the wait Denny had already had and how much she could hope to hold on for. "How high?" she finally asked.

"101o" came the answer. All three women knew even the slightest raised temperature or infection could lead to the recipient rejecting the organ.

Roisin and Trish were waiting patiently for Helen to think this through when the door to the room opened and Yvonne emerged, a small smile on her face.

"Good mornin' Helen" although she was trying not to show it Helen could see that Yvonne was full of hope.

"Morning Yvonne, how is Denny this morning?"

"She was a bit sullen this morning but then the news came through that there may be a donor for her, we're all trying not to get our hopes up but it's kind of difficult" Yvonne answered.

"Yes, yes I know Yvonne." Helen replied, "but you must try not to, it may not happen today" she added carefully.

"What? Why?" Yvonne asked sharply, her voice rising a little that it drew the attention of Shaz from the bedroom.

"Yvonne?" The young girl asked.

Yvonne tried to smile reassuringly, "Go back inside Shaz, I'll be there in a minute." When Shaz had returned to Denny's side, Yvonne once again turned to Helen. "Why not? This is Denny's heart. We've been waiting for months for this transplant. Why on earth when there's a healthy heart downstairs might it not happen today?"

Helen had been in this situation before. Telling loved ones that although there was a organ available you may not be able to operate was one of the hardest things to tell a relative, right up there with telling them that their loved one had died. Helen guided Yvonne away from the room so that Shaz couldn't overhear them. Trish and Roisin followed, and stood a little to the side.

"Denny has developed a slight temperature. Now we've talked about the risks before Yvonne and you know that a raised temperature was one that was mentioned. Now I know it's difficult but I have to decide if it is viable for the operation to go ahead or if it would be better for all parties if the organ went to another patient and we waited till Denny's temperature went down to a safe level."

Helen hadn't even finished before Yvonne was shaking her head, "No ... no ... no we can't, Denny can't wait. We've already waited so long for this chance. She won't last much longer without this operation."

Yvonne was getting upset, a sight that Helen hadn't seen of this strong woman since the day she had first diagnosed Denny, and no matter what her she couldn't help but think that Yvonne could be right. Patting Yvonne's shoulder she stood up and addressed the other two women in attendance.

"Roisin how long do you think till we can harvest the organ?"

"An hour, two at the most" Roisin solemnly answered. Helen nodded, her decision made.

"Right Trish you've got an hour, two at the most to work your nursing magic and reduce that temperature, I'll review with you in an hour."

Hearing this Yvonne stood up, "Thank you doctor".

"You understand the risks Yvonne?" Helen asked and when the older woman nodded continued. "Go in and sit with your daughter, it's going to be a long day. I'll be in my office, if anyone needs me." she said to no one in particular as she walked away.

Helen entered her office, closed the blinds, put a CD in the player, turned the lights off and sat down on her sofa, closing her eyes and letting the stress flow out of her as the strains of Debussy's Clair De Lune, floated into the room.

Thoughts of Denny, Shaz and Yvonne soon left her mind as she remembered when Nikki had bought her this CD, two weeks into their relationship, after she had once again come round to Helen's place after work one day to find Helen pacing up and down her living room with excess energy after a stressful day.

"You'll wear a hole in the carpet one of these days" she had joked, after she had set the cushions from the sofa on the floor and got Helen to lie down on her belly with her head in her hands.

"I think I already have." Helen had tried to joke.

"Bad day at the office?" Nikki murmured, gently moving Helen's hair away from her shoulders so that she could gently rub her hands along the tenseness she knew she'd find there.

"Mmmm yeah but this makes it all worth it."

They both stayed silent for a couple of minutes, both enjoying the moment of intimacy, before Helen realised that something was missing. Pushing herself up, she turned onto her back, pulled Nikki from her position at the side of her so that she was sat between her knees facing her, and gently pulled Nikki's lips closer to hers. Gently gliding her lips along Nikki's, Helen didn't have to wait long before Nikki responded by slightly opening her lips and softly touching her tongue to Helen's lips. Smiling Helen let her tongue dart out to touch Nikki's lips and not before long they were kissing passionately.

"Now that's shifted the stress to a whole new perspective" Helen smiled a few minutes later.

"Mmmm, anyone ever tell you that you're very good at that?" Nikki asked from her perch between Helen's knees.

"Only the one person that counts" Helen responded. "Umm Nikki what have you done with Jessie?" Helen asked looking to see if she had totally missed the young baby that was just as important in her life as Nikki was growing to be.

"Trish has her, I though we could do with a night to ourselves" Nikki smiled.

"That sounds great" Helen concurred before pulling Nikki down for some more lengthy kissing.

CHAPTER THREE

Nikki quietly entered the room, and crept over to the couch. Helen was lying there, eyes closed, listening to the calming music of a CD Nikki recognised as the one she had bought for her.

Helen felt the couch dip as someone she knew instinctively to be Nikki sat down at her side.

"I'm sorry Helen, I know how much Denny means to you." Nikki said, gently running a finger down Helen's cheek.

"They came with me from London, you know. They believed in me so much that when I came to St. Pete's they transferred all her medical care to here too." Helen said, sadness in her voice.

"I know sweetheart" Nikki comforted taking Helen into her arms. They stayed that way for a few minutes before there was a knock on the door and Trish and Roisin entered. Both women stood and faced the new entrants, Nikki squeezing Helen's hand in reassurance before walking to the desk to give them a little privacy, but still within earshot of the conversation.

"Well?" Helen asked.

"Sally Bowes died a few minutes ago." Roisin spoke first.

Helen nodded, that was expected. She turned to Trish, who shook her head, "Temperatures not going down."

Helen turned and went to the window, looking down at the gardens but not seeing the beautiful vista, she was too busy contemplating what was the best course of action to take.

After a few minutes Nikki left her perch on the desk edge and walked up to her lover. Touching her softly on the shoulder Nikki turned Helen around, there was a look in her eyes that Nikki recognised as anguish, Helen was torn between what she wanted to do and what she should do.

Softly Nikki asked, "What would happen if you gave Denny the heart in her current state?"

"She may accept it and live." Helen said.

But Nikki could tell she was holding something back. "Or?" she asked

"She may reject it and die" Helen added.

Nikki nodded, she could see that Helen had thought all of this through "Which is more likely?"

"Rejection" Helen said barely on a whisper, looking down at the carpet, everyone in the room knew what that meant.

"What happens to the heart if you don't give it to Denny?" Nikki asked.

Helen knew that Nikki was trying to help her reach the best decision but she couldn't help feel a little resentment at Nikki's detached demeanour in all this, but then, she reasoned, Nikki didn't know Denny so she had no personal emotions towards who got the organ. Nikki put a finger under Helen's chin and raised her eyes so that they were looking at each other and repeated her question. "What happens to the heart if you don't give it to Denny?"

"Someone else gets it." Helen answered

"Someone else who is better able to receive it" Nikki voiced.

Helen nodded.

"So someone else may live" Nikki added.

Helen heard all this, it wasn't anything she didn't already know but it helped her to reach her decision. Facing the other two she said, "Roisin would you set up theatre for the harvest please and Trish will you ring the Transplant Unit and let them know the situation and to get them to contact the next person on the list I'll go speak to Yvonne and Shaz and then to Sally's family." Roisin and Trish nodded and left to do as they were bade. Helen started to walk for the door, then turned to Nikki.

"I'll wait for you at home Helen." Nikki said quietly. Helen nodded and left the room. Nikki stood there for a moment, then sighing she picked up her bag and left the office.

Helen walked along the corridor towards Denny's ward. She knew her decision had been the right one but that still didn't make this any easier. She swung through the doors and walked to the window outside Denny's room. She had been stood there a few seconds when Yvonne turned round and saw Helen standing there. Helen beckoned Yvonne to join her, but could see the fear and dread in the older woman's eyes. When she reached her Helen didn't beat around the bush.

"Yvonne, Denny's temperature isn't lowering. I've informed the Transplant Unit and they're informing the next in line."

"No Helen you can't. Give it a bit more time, please." Yvonne beseeched.

"We don't have any more time Yvonne, I'm sorry."

Yvonne started to cry quietly, while looking through the glass to where Denny lay. Shaz who had stayed in the room with her sleeping girlfriend looked out at where Yvonne stood, saw her tears and came out. She knew straight away that the operation wasn't going to go ahead.

"It's alright Yvonne, there's still time" Shaz soothed, sounding more adult than Helen had ever heard her be. Helen turned and left the two women to comfort each other, and went to talk to Sally's family.

Helen finally got home at 1:30am, quietly letting herself into Nikki's house, although she and Nikki hadn't taken the step of moving in with each other, after the day she had had, Helen found herself needing to be close to Nikki and Jessie at this moment.

Walking to the lounge door she saw Nikki's reclining form on the sofa and was just about to go in to her when she heard Jessie fuss from upstairs so made her way to the baby instead.

She picked up Jessie and gently soothed her, at the same time feeling the fatigue of the day slowly seep away.

After telling Yvonne the news, Helen had spoken to the grieving parents of Sally Bowles, a young 16year old who had been out on a date with her boyfriend when their car had been involved in the accident. He had survived without a scratch and was sat silently weeping behind Helen when she was with Sally's parents.

Helen had explained how Sally's heart and organs would be helping others to live and Sally's parents, although distraught at their daughters passing had allowed Helen to proceed. The Transplant Unit had been informed and Helen had gone to harvest the heart ready for transport to Manchester where the recipient was waiting. Another Surgeon, Cassie Tyler, had taken over from Helen then to collect the Kidneys and Liver which were to help a patient in Southampton. Helen had waited until Sally had been taken from surgery to the morgue and then had personally escorted the Bowles, who had stayed, to say one last good bye to their daughter. All in all it had been a draining day.

Standing there now in the nursery with Jessie in her arms, Helen wished that she would never have to go through what the Bowles had had to today.

Two arms went around Helen from behind and a chin rested on her shoulder.

"Welcome home Sweetheart" Nikki said sleepily.

Helen turned and kissed Nikki on the cheek before leaning down to lay Jessie in the crib. Running her fingers through the child's hair she murmured.

"She's so beautiful Nikki."

"Just like her mother" Nikki responded thinking of Maggie.

"You miss her don't you?" Helen asked

"Everyday. But it's no longer as a lover or partner that I miss her but as a friend, and I wish more than anything that Jessie could of known her." Nikki said genuinely.

"You've never told me how she died" Helen murmured.

Nikki looked at Helen and realised she wanted to tell her everything, that she was ready to tell her everything. "Come downstairs and I'll tell you." .