DISCLAIMER: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters are the property of NBC and Dick Wolf.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This really doesn't have anything to do with Women's Equality, but it's sort of hidden in there if you squint. J And yes, they're in a bar again.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
FEEDBACK: To sunsetwriter[at]mindspring.com
SERIES: Part of the Holiday Shorts series.
Holiday Short Women's Equality Day
The SVU detectives watched silently as the very attractive waitress delivered their latest round of drinks and then made her way back to the bar.
Olivia elbowed Elliot as he blatantly stared at the shapely woman walking away from the table. "I didn't know you were an ass man," she teased.
Realizing he was busted, he answered drolly, "I'm not. I was admiring her legs."
Munch scoffed. "I'm sure your wife would love to hear that."
Stabler shrugged. "Just because I'm on a diet, doesn't mean I can't look at the menu," he answered causing a chorus of groans all around the table. "Besides, how do you know I wasn't thinking, 'Wow, Kathy sure has better legs than that'?"
Olivia chuckled. "Because you had the same look in your eye that Fin did when she leaned over the table and displayed her ample cleavage."
Fin picked up his beer and said nonchalantly, "No reason I can't look. I don't have a Kathy waitin' at home for me."
Stabler took a sip of his beer and said, "Anyway, Munch is our resident ass man, not me."
Fin smiled. "You mean our resident ass, don't you?"
Ignoring his partner's sarcasm, Munch said, "In my younger years, a shapely derriere was certainly quick to catch my eye, as evident by wife number two. As I've matured though, I've come to realize that a sense of humor and a grasp of intelligent conversation have moved to the top of my priority list when assessing the fairer sex."
Fin rolled his eyes. "She'd have to have a sense of humor to date you."
Continuing to ignore his partner, Munch turned to Olivia. "What about you, Olivia?"
Olivia shook her head and said dryly, "I don't want to date you, John."
Munch smiled. "Ah, but you do have a quick wit."
Thinking she was off the hook, Olivia laughed and took a drink of her beer. But it wasn't that easy.
"What I meant was, what qualities do you find attractive in a potential suitor?"
Olivia almost choked as she thought he was going to say 'in a woman'. She had never openly discussed her sexuality with her squad mates since she had come to the realization that she was indeed attracted to women.
As Olivia quickly held a bar napkin to her mouth as she tried to swallow the mouthful of beer, her partner looked at Munch. "Are you asking Liv if she's into women?"
Munch shrugged. "Just giving her an equal opportunity to make a fool of herself with the rest of us."
Olivia's eyes widened as Fin sat up in his chair from his slumped position. "Hey, that'd be cool, Liv. We could cruise chicks together."
Olivia hoped she didn't get whiplash from turning her head from her partner to Munch and then to Fin so quickly. Munch spoke again as the beer in her mouth now threatened to make an exit through her nose.
"Are you offering to be her wingman?" he asked his partner.
Fin shrugged and said, "Could be fun."
"Who says I need a wingman?" Olivia blurted out as she finally managed to swallow. All three male detectives took silent notice of her complete lack of denial.
Fin nodded. "Yeah, you're prob'ly right. I doubt the chicks that would be into you would even give me the time 'o day."
Not one to miss out on teasing his partner, Stabler asked, "So what's your best pick-up line?"
Olivia glared at him. "I don't use pick-up lines."
Munch smirked. "So you just have women falling at your feet, huh?"
A familiar voice behind Olivia made the detective's eyes widen at the sound. "Who has women falling at their feet?" Alex asked as she slid into the empty chair across from Olivia.
Elliot stifled a laugh as he took note of the look on Olivia's face. "Apparently, Liv does," he said with a grin.
Alex's eyebrows rose as she looked across the table at Olivia. She cocked her head to one side, and with a look of curiosity, said, "Do tell."
Olivia rolled her eyes and did her best not to blush. "Just ignore them."
Alex scoffed as she looked around the table at all the grinning men. "Easier said than done."
Munch spoke up again. "She still hasn't told us what she finds attractive in a woman." He grinned at Olivia's obvious discomfort since Alex's arrival. "I'll bet it's sexy lingerie."
Olivia shook her head and replied sarcastically, "Dream on." After a beat she continued. "Wait, nix that, I don't want to be in your dreams." She looked at the men around the table. "Any of you."
Elliot laughed. "How about one of those little French maid outfits or painted-on latex?"
Olivia shot him a look. "You know, you think you know somebody and then they say something like that "
Fin smiled. "Nah, I'll bet she goes for stilettos and tight, leather pants somebody smokin' hot to go out with."
Benson shook her head emphatically. "Ugh. You guys are clueless! And I don't want someone to go out with. I'd much rather have someone to come home to."
The look on Alex's face went unnoticed by the men at the table who were thrilled to have finally gotten some information out of Olivia. Munch grinned. "So I was right sexy lingerie," he said with satisfaction.
"No! Not that I don't like sexy lingerie, but that's not what I'm talking about." Olivia seemed to be getting really exasperated, and Alex was watching her with fascination.
"What then?" Elliot asked while they had her on a roll.
Olivia took a frustrated breath and said, "Imagine coming home after a long day to find someone waiting in bed for you. Blonde hair pulled up in a messy twist, wearing nothing but a tank top and soft sleep pants, with reading glasses on, sitting up reading the latest Law Review and trying her best to stay awake until you got home and completely, and unintentionally, looking like sex on a stick. That's what I'm talking about." Seeing all eyes around the table wide and staring, some more than others, she quietly added. "You know if I were attracted to women."
Elliot was the first to speak. "Wow you've really thought about this."
Fin smirked. "Fantasized, I'd say."
Munch, for once, was speechless, but Alex was not. "Law Review?" she asked as one slender eyebrow gracefully arched higher and higher.
Olivia squirmed as she realized that she had indeed verbalized her favorite fantasy about the ADA. "Or you know a book of some sort."
Alex nodded and continued to stare at Olivia. As the entire table waited to hear a response, she finally cleared her throat and slid her chair backwards. "If you'll excuse me, I need to go to the restroom." She calmly stood and made her way to the back of the bar where the restrooms were located.
Munch leaned forward and looked at Olivia. "You do realize that you just described Alex in your little scenario, don't you?"
Olivia groaned. "Oh my God, do you think I totally offended her?"
Fin shrugged. "Either that, or you got her so worked up she needed to go to the ladies room..."
Elliot chuckled. "Maybe you should go check on her. I'd offer to, but I'm not sure I should stand up just yet," he said, looking down at his lap.
"Ewww, Elliot," Olivia scowled at her partner.
He shrugged. "Well, that was a pretty good visual you gave us, you know."
"Oh my God," Olivia muttered as she stood up and followed Alex's path to the restroom. When she reached the door to the ladies room, she paused, took a deep breath and slowly pushed open the door.
As she stepped inside, she saw Alex standing with her back to the door, facing the mirror. The ADA looked up and locked eyes with Olivia's reflection in the mirror. The detective was a little surprised at the expression on Alex's face. She was expecting her to be offended, mad, or upset in some way. But she looked almost smug. And interested?
Olivia paused just inside the door as it closed behind her. Still a little confused by Alex's reaction, she wasn't sure what she should say. "I uh "
"It took you long enough," Alex said to the reflection and then she turned to face Olivia, leaning against the counter as Olivia continued to stand near the door.
"Uh for what?" Alex had only been in the bathroom a short time, so Olivia was befuddled by the comment.
"I had come to the conclusion that you were hopelessly straight," Alex said as she pushed away from the counter and starting slowly walking toward the detective.
Olivia felt her pulse rate increase and her eyes widened as she watched the ADA move toward her with an almost predatory look in her eyes. "Oh. So uh " Her brain seemed to be short-circuiting and she found it difficult to form a complete sentence.
Alex continued her advance and moved directly into Olivia's personal space causing the detective to reflexively take a step back, finding herself backed up against the wall. Alex stepped right with her so that their faces were so close, Olivia could feel Alex's breath on her lips.
Blue eyes sparkled as Alex's expression became a cross between a smirk and a smile. "You're not the only one who has fantasies, Olivia." She leaned a little closer to Olivia, brushing their breasts together, but stopping short of a kiss.
"Oh, God " Olivia said breathlessly as she waited for Alex to kiss her. When that didn't happen immediately, Olivia couldn't stand it any longer. She grasped Alex's waist and pulled her forward to finally crush their lips and bodies together. Alex's hands reflexively landed on Olivia's hips and slid beneath her leather jacket. She returned the kiss with such enthusiasm, that she heard Olivia's back and head thud against the wall.
When they broke apart, several long minutes later, they were both breathless and looking at each other with wonderment. Alex let her eyes wander all over Olivia's face before settling back on her eyes, which still seemed a bit dazed.
"So, did you really fantasize about coming home to find me in your bed?" Alex asked, almost playfully. She was delighted when the question seemed to break through Olivia's kiss-induced fog and cause a slight reddening of her cheeks.
"I did," Olivia answered with a chuckle, glad to have the wall behind her for support. "And I would have told you about it a lot sooner if I'd known this was going to be your reaction."
Alex smiled. "Well, just so we're clear, I usually have more restraint than to go around ambushing women in restrooms. But your 'someone to come home to' speech, well it just sort of tipped the balance for me, I guess."
Olivia grinned. "Does this mean you're going to make my fantasy come true?"
"I think I have an issue of Law Review in my car, but I'll have to search for a tank top and sleep pants," Alex replied with a glint in her eye.
"No problem," Olivia responded as she leaned in for another kiss. "In this fantasy, the clothing is optional "
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