DISCLAIMER: CSI and its characters are the property of Jerry Bruckheimer and CBS. No infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
By Alexis Stansfield
"Hey. Cath it's me."
I couldn't believe my ears. After 6 months and her goodbye letter, Sara had finally called. Everything had fallen apart for us after Sara left. Grissom became even more inverted, Nick had seemed to loose a piece of himself, Warrick had lost a bit of that sparkle in his eye, Greg had completely lost his energetic personality, and Brass felt as though another daughter had left him. Nobody knew how greatly Sara leaving had affected me. Lindsay kept trying and trying to cheer me up, but almost everything my sweet little girl said or did reminded me of Sara.
"Catherine. Are you there?"
"Yeah. Sara I can't believe it's you. Where are you? How've you been? Are you coming home?"
I couldn't stop my mouth from firing off questions.
"Cath. Take a breath. I'm fine. I actually just landed in Vegas, and was hoping I could come over to see you."
There's a hint of nervousness in your voice. I know you think I've moved on, or that I hate you completely. But I could never do that. I loved you so much before you left and I still do.
"Please Sara. Come home."
I didn't realize I was crying until I tried talking and it only came out to a whisper.
"Cath. Baby please don't cry. I can't stand to hear you cry."
I'm just so happy I get to see her again.
"Just, please, get here as fast as you can."
I hang up the phone and look around. The house if fairly clean, but I don't have the energy to pick up anymore. You've seen my house at its worst, hell you lived here. I go into my room and out of my nightstand I pull out the letter you gave me. I still read it from time to time. After the first 2 months I couldn't look at it, I almost threw it away. But Lindsay came in my room and grabbed it from my hand and put it back in the drawer.
I'm sitting in the living room. Waiting for you to come home. Home. You used to call this home all the time. There's a knock at the door and my heart quickens. What if it's not the same you. What if you don't love me anymore? What if this visit is just to tell me that you've moved on and that I should do the same? I push those thoughts from my head as I go to the door. I open the door and immediately feel your arms around me. You feel the same. Safe. You feel like home.
"Hi." You mumble from my neck
"Hi. Come in."
I lead you into the living room, to the couch where you first kissed me, where you proposed, and where I was when I read your letter for the first time.
"Do you want something?" I ask when we get to the couch.
"Yes." You look at me with a glint in your eyes. "You."
I'm suddenly thrown on the couch, but before I could protest your lips are on mine. Oh god, I've missed you lips so much. You body feels so familiar on top of mine. All I can think about are how soft your lips are. When your tongue brushes over my top lip, I think that maybe you're just using me, that you're just going to get what you want then disappear for another 6 months. I roughly push you off me. You look so surprised, and hurt.
"You can't just walk into this house after 6 months without a word and expect to jump into my bed." I'm yelling and I can see you cringe. It feels a little satisfying.
"I wasn't doing that Catherine. I just saw you and I couldn't help myself. I just missed you so much." I throw her letter in her face.
"If you missed me, then why did you leave me?" Those words haunted my every moment, wake or asleep.
I've moved across the room now. I can't stand to be so close to you while you're reading it. I don't know how you could forget writing it. I sure as hell haven't forgotten about when I found it.
"Catherine. I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you-"
I can't believe it.
"Then why couldn't you say goodbye to my face!"
You're just sitting there on my couch. Not looking at me.
"Say something Sara."
"I-I don't know what to say. I really am sorry for just leaving you. You and Lindsay. The whole team. I know you don't want to hear it, but I still love you. I've always loved you and I always will."
I can't even speak. I'm so overcome with emotions; all I can do is stare at her.
"I'll just leave. I'm sorry I bothered you."
She's walking toward the door and all I can do is still stare at her. I know as soon as she's out that door she won't come back. Not this time.
I sprint towards the door, and barely squeeze past you to block it.
"Catherine, what in the world-"
I grab your neck and slam your lips against mine. I try to pour every emotion I'm feeling for you into this one kiss. It takes you a second but you start to respond like you used to. This time you break the kiss.
"Cath?" I love when your voice gets raspy.
"Sara. You're never leaving me again. I won't let you."
"Catherine, I am never leaving again. I'm finally home."
I thought I'd never hear you say that word again.
I look into your eyes and see the only thing that can make me feel 10 feet tall.
That's the only thing in your eyes. It's the same look you had when I asked you to move in, and when I said "Yes Sara Sidle I will marry you".
You once told me that this was the only place that felt like home to you.
And now you're home again.
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