DISCLAIMER: Lost Girl and its characters are the property of Showcase and are used here for entertainment & not profit.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Huge great thanks to Caroline & Gemma for support :)) xx. Also huge thanks to Ralst for posting and anybody taking the time to read it - I appreciate it! For M xx
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
FEEDBACK: To kajola63[at]yahoo.com
Lauren's car sped along the streets, as she weaved dangerously in and out of the traffic, her heart rate increasing with every moment that passed. Kenzi's late night phone call had been disturbing.
Bo was badly injured, and she was refusing any help that Kenzi could muster. Kenzi had told her she'd even tried to convince Bo to call Dyson, but had flatly refused the idea. Lauren knew Bo wouldn't entertain the notion. Dyson was happy in his relationship with Ciara, and Bo wasn't about to step into a potential three way dynamic just for the purpose of healing.
What was worrisome about Kenzi's call was Bo's resistance to heal, and that Lauren was the last hope Kenzi could think of. The fact that Kenzi was practically hysterical on the phone was also enough evidence for Lauren that she needed to get to Bo as fast as possible.
She'd witnessed Bo heal herself when they had faced the Lich, and he'd shot her. His threat that he would happily slice open Lauren's throat, and Bo would have to witness it as she herself bled to death had somehow awoken a deep power in Bo to destroy anything that would harm someone she loved. It seemed that that had to be the catalyst for her to be able to heal herself.
Quickly explaining the situation to Nadia, Lauren had dressed, and with an understanding kiss from her partner, had hastily left the Fae compound. Her renewed allegiance to the Ash had meant he had allowed them both some freedoms.
Now Lauren swerved her car onto the side street towards the abandoned building that was Bo and Kenzi's home. Screeching to a dusty halt, Lauren could see Kenzi agitatedly waiting outside for her arrival. Lauren scrambled from her car, and ran towards her.
"Where is she?" Lauren asked as she followed Kenzi inside.
"In her room."
"How bad is she?" Lauren took the steps up to Bo's room two at a time with Kenzi right on her heels.
"I don't know. She wouldn't let me help."
Lauren heard the fear in Kenzi's voice, and felt her own heart pounding with anxiety. She turned towards the younger woman, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
"She'll be fine. You know how strong she is." Lauren tried to smile, and Kenzi just nodded.
The bedroom was shrouded in darkness but Lauren could make out Bo's form in the bed. She looked around, saw the lamp in the corner, and switched it on.
Lauren looked at Bo lying there; Bo's back was to her, and she wasn't able to ascertain what her injuries might be. Scanning the floor quickly, Lauren spotted Bo's discarded clothes; visible rips and blood stains on a shirt.
Lauren moved swiftly towards the bed, placing her medical bag down. She'd instinctively grabbed it when she'd left realising it was a futile gesture where Bo's healing was concerned. She wondered if she'd subconsciously done it for Nadia's sake, assuring her partner that medically, all that Bo would need could be administered with a few sterile swabs, bandages, and stitches if need be. Or maybe, Lauren realised, she had brought her med kit as a way to foolishly assure herself.
"Bo? Let me see your injuries."
Bo didn't move or speak.
"I'm fine." Bo mumbled, pulling the bed cover further over her body.
Lauren heard Kenzi behind her, creep away from the scene. She took a deep breath, moving to the other side of the bed. Gently, she pulled the cover away from Bo's face, gasping in shock.
Bo's left eye was swollen and completely closed up, starting to discolor from bruising. Her left cheek had the same colouring, and a bloodied cut was visible on her upper lip.
"Jesus!" Lauren murmured. She pulled the sheet further back and was met by no resistance as she exposed the rest of Bo's naked body.
A mass of bruising was starting to spread out across Bo's chest and down her abdomen, made more pronounced by her tanned skin. Every breath she was taking was laboured. Lauren couldn't see any open wounds on her torso. She gently felt Bo's legs, also badly bruised, praying that no bones were broken, and was pleased when Bo didn't cry out in pain, but merely hissed with discomfort.
"What the hell happened? You look like you've been hit by a truck." Lauren continued to gentle examine her.
"Not quite. It was a car. Hit and run attempt. If it had been a truck, I probably wouldn't have made it back here."
Lauren stared at her, shocked by her blasé attitude, and amazed at how she had managed to get herself home.
"Who was it?" Lauren asked.
"No idea. My eye was from a fight, Dark Fae. I was leaving that scene, when this happened. Somebody wasn't happy with me snooping around. Could've have been Light or Dark."
Lauren had heard enough and acted without a second thought. She moved back round to the other side of the bed, stripped off her own clothes and got under the sheet, molding her body to Bo's back.
"What're you doing?" Bo asked
"Bo, you need to feed. Let me help you."
"No. I'll be fine." Bo said.
"You're badly hurt ."
"It doesn't matter. I want to feel the pain."
"What?" Lauren couldn't believe the remark. "Don't be ridiculous. You could have internal bleeding " Lauren pleaded.
Bo turned slowly to face her, groaning slightly as she did so. "I don't care."
Lauren felt helpless and shocked. Bo's tone of voice and whole demeanor smacked of defeat and vulnerability. Lauren had never seen the maverick Fae act this way. Bo was normally energetic, her passionate and emotional nature evident in everything she did. It was the strongest part of her being; Lauren had often wondered if that was the succubus part of her, or her real human nature and had concluded that it was who Bo was, regardless of her powers.
Now to see Bo this vulnerable and apparently so defeatist made Lauren fearful.
"Damn it! You don't have to feel pain! Why would you want to, when I can help!"
"I do feel pain, all the time. Just not too long physically when I can feed to numb it. This pain I can handle. I want to feel it, cos it takes my mind off the pain I can't heal."
Lauren balked at the remark.
"I'm tired of feeding for meaningless kicks."
Lauren quickly interrupted her, trying to offer reassurance. "It's not meaningless, it's a necessity for you, it's your Fae nature, it's how you heal "
"It's not just healing when I'm injured. You know I thrive on feeling someone else's sexual energy. I can't even call it an addiction. It's like an abnormality. It's not normal."
"But it is for you, you know that," Lauren reached out to gently stroke back a piece of Bo's hair.
"Well, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of trying to convince myself it doesn't matter, that it's what I am. I'm tired of not feeling what I should. And I'm tired that I do feel all the time. I'm tired that my heart aches from feeling so empty."
Lauren swallowed down the lump in her throat, her own guilt almost choking her. Along with Dyson, she had been responsible for Bo's heartache. Lauren had partly justified it in believing that Dyson was ultimately Bo's soul mate. Their chemistry had seemed unequaled and so obvious to those around them. And of course, he had made the ultimate sacrifice; his love for Bo, to aid the energy she needed to face and fight her mother, Aoife.
Lauren couldn't escape, or now excuse her own behaviour where Bo had been concerned. She hadn't told Bo about Nadia from the beginning, but had instead involved herself in a physical relationship with her. Confusion had reigned over her own desire for the dark haired woman. Nadia lay out of her reach, gripped into a comatose state, that Lauren couldn't free her from. Then Bo had entered her life; a vibrant, confident, passionate woman, unafraid of her own desires or to face them. In fact Bo seemed to embrace desire.
Lauren had found herself drawn immediately to the new Fae on the block, and not because of Bo's seductive power. The attraction was deeper than some magical ability that Bo could wield.
The stronger Lauren tried to fight and deny it, the deeper her own feelings became. Like tinder being added to a fragile flame; at some point it would ignite.
And ignite it did. Lauren had been shocked at her own depth of feelings. She had been torn by her need for Bo and her devotion to Nadia. Nadia's recovery had given her the grounding she needed. But it wasn't the same; it didn't compare to Bo.
She'd tried to bury that realisation and wasn't sure whether it was for Nadia's sake or her own. She now realised that her decision was hurting someone else far more.
Lauren shifted to lie down alongside Bo. She brushed her knuckles softly against her uninjured cheek.
"Let me heal the pain, please?"
Bo looked at her, questioning her decision.
"Nadia? " Bo said.
"Shush, don't." Lauren whispered.
Bo reached out to the necklace around her neck and Lauren noticed Bo's pained look, a reminder of Lauren's willing supplication to the Ash, a sacrifice of her own freedom; a freedom that Bo fought for, and one Lauren knew she would fight for, for the rest of her life.
"Not in your bed, right?" Lauren smiled then wrenched the offending necklace from her neck, banishing it to the floor.
"Are you sure?" Bo asked. "Is this what you want?"
"I'm not sure how much control I have, and before I was never hurt when we did this. I might take too much, I could kill you." Bo said tiredly.
Lauren shook her head. "No you won't. You know I trust you. You'll know when to stop. You've learnt more about your powers."
Before Bo could speak, Lauren gently kissed her mouth. "Let me love you." she whispered.
Bo whimpered; a tear welled up in her uninjured eye then trickled down her cheek.
Lauren kissed her again, more deeply this time, savouring the softness of Bo's mouth, remembering how much she had missed this. She was suddenly aware that Bo was taking her life force, not too rapidly, but the sensation was literally taking her breath away. She felt a moment's panic, but quickly ignored it, kissing Bo harder. She'd expected it to be a cold, painful experience, not the soft, warm embrace that it was.
Bo pulled away suddenly, wincing with pain.
"What's wrong?" Lauren asked concerned.
"Slow down, or you'll kill me," Bo tried to smile before she lowered her gaze. Lauren followed it and saw her own hand was gripping and squeezing a bruised breast.
"I'm sorry, I did I hurt you even more?" Lauren felt mortified.
"No, it's okay. It's wonderful in fact," Bo assured her. "But if you keep that up, we could be here all night trying to heal these bits. If I may ?"
Bo made Lauren lie on her back then painfully eased herself on top of her. "Just let me take what I need, to start the healing."
Bo's kiss was tender to start and Lauren thought it almost tentative. It seemed as though Bo was just intent on exploring her mouth, and the longer she did so, the more Lauren become highly sensitized to it. She'd never thought it possible for someone to just make love to her mouth, but that was exactly what Bo was doing.
This was a new experience that Bo was sharing with her and Lauren thought that if Bo could do that to her mouth, what was she actually capable of doing to the rest of her body. The idea was suddenly arousing, and was made even more so when she felt the familiar drain of her life force. She kissed Bo forcefully, urging her to take what she needed, to speed up the healing, so she could experience loving Bo quicker.
Again Bo was gentle, taking a little more this time, but not rushing. Moving away from her mouth, Bo placed her lips on Lauren's neck, kissing and nipping at the skin. Lauren couldn't help the moan that escaped. She was having difficulty controlling her breathing, exhaling in shallow excited breaths.
Bo raised her head to look at her. "Are you okay?"
Lauren looked at her, about to say yes, when she couldn't believe what she saw.
"Oh my God!" she said with reverence. "Your eye it's it's completely healed already!"
Even Bo looked surprised and touched it. "I hadn't noticed," she said. "Well, at least now I can enjoy the view properly." she smiled suggestively.
"Do you normally heal this fast?"
"No. Not this quickly." Bo smiled knowingly and Lauren realised something unusual was going on. Could it be the healing power of love?
Another kiss, another gift of her chi to Bo and Lauren witnessed in awe and fascination the almost miraculous mending of Bo's body. The bruises disappeared from her chest and lower abdomen and Bo seemed to be able to move much better without wincing in pain.
Lauren found herself tiring a little, but her desire and arousal was pumping enough sex fuelled adrenaline around her body to compensate.
Bo was being agonizingly slow in her exploration of her body and it was driving Lauren to distraction. As Bo's lips finally claimed her breast, she arched her back, writhing at the sensation, digging her fingers into Bo's scalp.
Bo's mouth and tongue continued to expertly tease, and when her lips took Laurens nipple and she began to suck on it, Lauren almost screamed.
"Oh, Jesus!" Lauren wasn't sure if it was a plea for mercy, or a cry of ecstasy, but she felt faint. Very faint.
Lauren wasn't aware of moving or being moved, but was vaguely aware of a breeze of warmth across her mouth. When she opened her eyes she was sitting, straddled, in Bo's lap and Bo was once again kissing her neck while Bo's hands were caressing her back. She felt renewed with energy.
Lauren threaded her fingers into Bo's hair, then trailed them down Bo's back, smiling as she felt Bo's muscles tremor at her touch. The Fae moaned deeply into her neck.
Bo looked at her and without breaking eye contact, slid her hand down between their bodies, and between Lauren's legs. Lauren gasped, surprised by how aroused she was, and raised herself up slightly, so that Bo could slip inside her.
"Do you know how gorgeous you look right now, how gorgeous you feel?" Bo said.
Lauren wanted to speak, but she lost the ability. What Bo was doing to her felt incredible and she couldn't find the words to express that. She simply said the only thing she could.
"I love you."
Bo's eyes closed momentarily, moved by Lauren's admission. "Then love me."
Lauren kissed her hungrily, feeding her own need. She didn't expect what happened next, but what did, changed everything.
Bo didn't feed, instead she reversed the energy, passing her own to Lauren.
"Take it, it's yours." Bo said, before she continued to give her chi.
Lauren felt her body buck, as though she'd been hit full force. She grabbed Bo's shoulders hanging on, but the sensation wasn't a violent one. It was an immense feeling of warmth, of passion, emotion and love. She could feel it racing along every nerve ending, like jolts of electricity, filling every cell, embracing every fibre of her body. She closed her eyes and felt her body pulse internally, swathed in colours; from rich wine reds, to dark crimsons, to pure fluffy cotton white, to dark emerald and brilliant sapphire blue, to warm amber; wrapping itself around her heart. She felt alive with love.
As she looked at Bo, she saw her normal dark brown eyes were glowing the most stunning blue; her skin rippled under the surface, it, too, glowing its amber shade.
Lauren realised what was happening. Bo wasn't giving her, her life force; she was passing on her love. Pure love. That's what had been happening, that's why she was healing so quickly. They were sharing their love for one another.
A surge of raw emotion overtook Lauren; not the emotion she was being fed, but her own deep seated emotion. She let it go enjoying the freedom it gave her, sharing it with Bo.
Now, straddled in Bo's lap, Lauren moved sensually, grinding slowly with purpose, raising and falling against Bo's fingers. She saw the surprise mixed with delight on Bo's face, as she realised Lauren's intent. Lauren was going to take her with her and Bo could do nothing to stop it, and nor, did it seem, that she wanted to.
Bo had stopped the energy transfer; it was no longer a necessity Lauren realised. What they were experiencing now, needed no super powers to aid it. This was the power of love and nothing could match it.
Lauren thought Bo looked incredible and so gorgeous, her Fae colours highlighting her beauty even more. Her body was healed, her muscles toned and taught and flexing with their combined movements. It was a sight to behold and one Lauren never wanted to forget.
Her new found stamina aside, Lauren decided that keeping Bo on the edge was torture enough, and she didn't want to prolong their agony anymore. Reaching down, she slid her own hand between Bo's legs and was greeted by a growl of approval. Letting her head fall back, Lauren thrust against Bo's hand while thrusting into Bo, and took them both over the edge into a wonderful abyss of ecstasy.
It seemed that making love to a Fae, stopped time from passing as human's measured it. Lauren knew she had arrived late at night, and was sure she'd seen a sunrise, a mid-day, an afternoon and into another night. Shafts of daylight were pushing through the wooden slats that covered Bo's bedroom window so that meant another sunrise, which meant she'd been here over 24 hours at least.
She smiled at the realisation and at the memory that making love to Bo could be very imaginative the bed had creaked in protest many times, the shower curtain had been torn from its hooks, and the kitchen counter had been eagerly swiped of contents to allow for more room. It had also been languid, achingly slow, furiously passionate but not in the least bit tiring. She felt remarkably rested, considering what they had been up to. No doubt, part of the reason for that had been the constant sharing of their energies with each other, mingling together, until it was no longer distinguishable who was the giver or receiver at any given time. It had morphed naturally into something mutual.
Bo shifted against Lauren, as she lay asleep behind her, the heat of her body warming Lauren's back. Lauren kissed the bicep that was wrapped across her chest, keeping her close.
But then reality suddenly dawned on Lauren; Nadia. It would have become blatantly obvious to her partner, as the hours had passed, just what Lauren had had to do, to help Bo. Nadia was very well aware of a succubus's need to feed sexually in order to heal.
Nadia's attitude to the Fae world had been very open, although at first, she had found the concept hard to believe. That fact that Lauren 'worked' for this mystical world, had helped her understanding of it and she trusted Lauren's explanations of its existence. Lauren had also been honest enough to tell her about her involvement with Bo. This was, however, a different matter altogether.
As well as physically declaring their love, Lauren knew that she and Bo had fiercely declared it verbally. Both of them had said "I love you" throughout the night, whether uttered gently, or crying out to each other, weeping softly at the intensity of emotion.
Lauren lay still for a moment, her eyes fixed on nothing in particular, thoughts raging through her mind. If she left now, she could at least try and explain to Nadia, although explain what exactly, she didn't know. All Lauren felt was an overwhelming sense that she must leave and sort it out.
She slipped gently out of Bo's arms, and quietly dressed. Before she left her, she bent down and softly kissed Bo's lips.
"Rest." Lauren murmured then she turned and reluctantly left the room.
Lauren crept down the stairs and headed towards the door. The sound of Kenzi's voice made her jump.
"You're leaving her then?" Kenzi stood, arms folded.
Lauren couldn't mistake the accusation in her voice. Kenzi's glare dared her to leave.
"I have to get back." Lauren knew it sounded lame, but it was the only solution she had right now.
Kenzi huffed in disgust and brushed past her, without another word, leaving her to face her decision, as she sensed Kenzi's overwhelming disappointment.
Lauren's stomach knotted tightly. Taking a deep breath, she stumbled out of the house.
12 weeks later
Lauren rubbed her forehead wearily, still rationally trying to dismiss the truth. The last few weeks had been chaotic and traumatic for everyone concerned. They'd been engaged in a Fae show-down between Light and Dark, both sides pitted against each other by a much older and mythical power.
Bo had been the binding force, uniting Light and Dark forces, the cost to both sides heavy, but it had been victorious and things were finally calming down.
After that night at Bo's, Lauren had returned to Nadia and a long conversation had ensued. To Lauren's dismay, Nadia had been very understanding and very calm. It hadn't been the response Lauren had expected; she had wished the opposite. She had wished Nadia had been angry, had wished she had shouted and screamed at her. Instead, she had offered support, despite the hurt she was feeling. She had expressed a wish that they try and work things out. She had questioned whether Lauren had been in full control of her emotions and could she honestly say, that Bo's seductive ability hadn't played some part in her feelings after all.
Lauren had dismissed that notion; Bo wouldn't have used that ability on her. But Lauren had started to question her own motives, second guessing herself as she always did, distrusting her inner emotions, over analysing them until they turned to inner turmoil, instead of just letting them give her the strength and belief in them that she needed. The pull of Bo was so strong and yet there was that underlying fear that she wasn't enough, that Bo deserved something better, something stable. The longer she had taken to try and figure it out, so she had resisted the urge to see Bo, until she knew her own feelings for sure.
Bo had taken it as rejection. The war descended on them and there had been no time for Lauren to explain. Bo had immersed herself in warfare tactics and Lauren had been needed at the compound, helping to heal the injured, working insane shifts. And every casualty that had been brought in, her relief that it wasn't Bo had been palpable. She had banished the idea, unable to cope with the possibility that the next one could have been her.
Amidst the battle, Dyson had been freed of his sacrifice and his love for Bo had been returned to him. And Lauren knew, whether Bo liked it or not, she would end up embroiled in a three way dynamic as he fought with his devotion for Bo against his loyalty to Ciara. Lauren had stepped further back at that point, the excuse that her reluctance had been justified, convincing her that at some point Bo would be drawn back to Dyson, and she wouldn't be able to compete or have to suffer watching it happen.
However, that had been the least of her worries as the recent weeks had passed and hostilities had been fought. Lauren had felt increasingly tired; she was having trouble sleeping, sometimes felt feverish and her appetite had dwindled. Her body had been changing, adapting. Her initial diagnosis had been her high stress levels.
She'd managed to run some tests and had been alarmed at the result, so she'd run them again. Ignoring them to deal with the casualties of the war, she'd started to research, pouring over every Fae book she could get her hands on, even convincing the Ash to lend her some from the secret archives, telling him it was to aid in the fight.
Lauren hadn't found the answer she sought in any of the ancient tomes. There had been only one way to know the truth for sure. She had pulled in favours from Light Fae, all too distracted by the fight to really care what she was up to. She had known she was treading a dangerous path to get to the one person who could give her answers. She had dropped enough hints and made enough assertions that she had vitally important information about Bo, and she was only willing to share it in a one on one, face to face meeting.
Favours and trades were made and slowly the boundaries and territories between Light and Dark muddied enough, that she had been able to cross them, without too many questions being asked from either side.
The bait had been taken, and finally she had found herself sitting across from Aoife. Their meeting had been arranged under the oath that neither side would speak of it and that this meeting 'had never happened'.
Lauren had got straight to the point, safeguarding her information with Aoife by informing her, she would have no compunction in telling the Ash she was alive. Aoife had already been intrigued enough to agree.
Lauren hadn't been foolish enough to think Aoife would keep to the oath, but it was a risk she was prepared to take. If Aoife was as smart as she had appeared, she'd keep the information to herself until it served her to use it, and that meant Lauren would have time on her side.
She had studied the infamous Fae in front of her. She could see where Bo had inherited her beauty from, although Bo was more beautiful than her mother. Lauren had also glimpsed a similarity in character, an affable personality that was far more genuine in Bo; with Aoife that seemed merely surface; she appeared more cunning and calculating, not traits Lauren associated with her daughter.
Their encounter had been fairly brief and Lauren had left the meeting with her mind swirling, the evident look of joy and scheming on Aoife's face, branded into her brain. She had been unable to offer any answers or explanations, but had agreed with Lauren, that this news was unprecedented according to Fae history.
Now as she sat in her lab, another batch of tests had proved irrefutable. There was no other rational explanation and she had to face the medical facts. Some how, sharing their life energy with each other had caused this to happen.
Lauren held her head in her hands. This wasn't possible. This couldn't be. Yet the facts were very simple.
She was pregnant.
And by some Fae miracle, the child she carried was Bo's.
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