DISCLAIMER: Gossip Girl and its characters are the property of Cecily von Ziegesar and Warner Bros. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I wrote this after seeing the pilot once...so there wasn't a huge grasp on the characters yet.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Can We Get This Back To How It Used To Be?
By Sydney Redfield


"Blair!" Serena called after the brunette, jogging down the hall to catch up with her.

"I thought I told you to just stay away," she responded, not even bothering to slow down or turn around.

"You did. But..."

Blair turned around; cutting off whatever Serena was about to say. "But nothing, Serena," she said, anger and hurt flashing in her eyes. "It's over. And as far as I'm concerned, Serena van der Woodsen does not exist. Not anymore."

Serena stood, watching the girl walk away. "I miss you, Blair. I miss us."

She stopped. "Funny, considering you fucked my boyfriend."

"Does this even have to do with me sleeping with Nate?" She asked as she walked up to the girl, stopping when they were just inches apart.

Blair shivered and took in a deep breath. "What else would it have to do with?"

"I think it has less to do with who it was and more to do with who it wasn't," she whispered, leaning into the smaller girl.

"Serena," she breathed out when she felt the blonde's fingertips brushing lightly from her jaw line, down her neck to her collarbone.

"Blair," Serena responded, lips ghosting over her sensitive ear. As she trailed kisses down the path her fingertips had just followed, she smiled. She had definitely missed this. She missed the way Blair tasted...missed the way every muscle seemed to flex and twitch under her touch...she missed everything.

"You're not denying it. Let me fix this. Let me fix us."

Blair tilted her head to the side, allowing the blonde more access as she mentally cursed herself for the way her body still involuntarily gave into Serena's touch. She wanted to say no. She wanted to pull away and tell Serena she couldn't let her in again. She wanted to hurt the girl the same way she'd been hurt, but she couldn't. Instead, a small moan escaped her lips as Serena's hand caressed her hip.

"It won't be easy," the brunette finally managed to say.

"I don't want it to be." Serena brought her hand up to the girl's chin, tilting her head towards her own. She smiled softly as she stared into her eyes. "I hurt you, Blair. I know that. I also know that there's nothing I can do to make it go away, so I just want to make it right."

Blair brought her hand up and ran it through Serena's flaxen locks. "I want to hate you," she said as she turned around in her arms.

"But you don't?"

Blair shook her head. "I tried. I told myself that I did, over and over. But I just can't. I look at you and..." She sighed and leaned her forehead against the blonde's.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry that I can't hate you? Seems like you benefit from that."

"I'm sorry that you want to hate me," she replied sadly as she cast her eyes downward.

"Serena," Blair said, brushing her fingers against her cheek to get the blonde to look up at her.


"Just...don't do it again."

Serena smiled. "I won't." A beat. "I couldn't."

The End

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