DISCLAIMER: Stargate and characters are the property of MGM, Gekko, etc. No infringement of copyright intended.
NOTES: While listening to the late, great Warren Zevon, I had a vision. I asked Geonn if he could come up with a PWP <vbg>, he said no, so you will have to manage with this effort!
LYRICS: The Hula Hula Boys, by Warren Zevon, c. 1982 Zevon Music BMI
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
DEDICATED: To Geonn... thank you for the music.

Ha'ina 'ia mai ana ka puana
By Debbie

We had come on this damn holiday, to a place I would never have dreamt of visiting, to save our marriage. Or that was what I thought. In my eyes, things had been going well; we had at least being exchanging small talk. Then, things changed. I had too much to drink one night and she went down to dinner on her own. You could say she never came back. Now, from my vantage point, propping up the poolside bar, drinking some goddamn rum punch, I watch her…

I saw her leave the luau
With the one who parked the cars
And the fat one from the swimming pool
They were swaying arm in arm
I could hear the ukuleles playing
Down by the sea
She's gone with the hula hula boys
She don't care about me
They're singing,

Ha'ina 'ia mai ana ka puana

She is having a great time. I have never seen her so happy. Even when we first got together, when the romance was still hot, and the love was there, she was never this happy. I guess, it is all my fault. Too much drinking, too many late nights, too many nights with the guys; I was too young to settle, too young to be only hers. Now, when I want to settle down with the woman I love, because I do love her, it is too late. It seems this holiday has proved to her that there is more fun to be had than working, there is more fun to be had in life, there is more on offer to her than our marriage. It seems there are some nice guys out there; just not me…

Yesterday she went to see
The Polynesian band
But she came home with her hair all wet
And her clothes all filled with sand

I didn't have to come to Maui
To be treated like a jerk
How do you think I feel
When I see the bellboys smirk?

I'm leaving although the holiday has three more days to run. We had a massive argument when I accused her of hanging out with the Polynesian guys. She called me all the names under the sun, said she wasn't like me, didn't need the guys, but I know what I saw. She came in from the so-called concert last night, with smudged lipstick and her hair all disheveled. It was obvious, even to my beer-tinged brain that she had been thoroughly kissed. But no, she had'nt been with any Island guy. It hurts to admit it but for once in our lives, we agree on something. Our marriage is over.

And I can hear the ukuleles playing
Down by the sea
She's gone with the hula hula boys
She don't care about me
They're singing,

Ha'ina 'ia mai ana ka puana

My bags are packed and we have said our goodbyes. Now our decision is made we are almost happy with each other again. She thanked me for sharing her life these last 7 years and said she would see me soon to make arrangements. We even kissed goodbye in a relaxed and loving manner. It was wonderful.

And yet, I can't help myself, I have to see her one more time. Have to know which of these young Hula Hula boys has stolen my beautiful wife from me. When I see her I almost change my mind about leaving. She is dancing gently to the sound of the music, swaying from side to side in her Hula skirt, bare feet hardly touching the floor. So beautiful my heart clenches. She holds her hands out, beseeching someone to join her and I know, at last, I will see the thief.

The most gorgeous blonde woman I have ever seen in my life, smiles worshipfully at my wife, who returns a look of such desire, it makes me blink twice. It is a look I have never seen and one I will never have the chance of seeing. As the blonde places a lei over the shoulders of my soon to be ex-wife, Janet, she murmurs the name Samantha, and I know I have lost.

Ha'ina 'ia mai ana ka puana

The story is told again and again

The End

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