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I Know
By mel
Jane Rizzoli groaned loudly as she threw her pen across her desk and pressed her hands into her eyes as if she were trying to push the throbbing headache that'd been plaguing her all day back into her head. God, it'd been the week from hell. Well, in all actuality it'd been worse than the week from hell but she wasn't sure how else to describe it.
"Go home Rizzoli," Frost's gentle voice carried over their desks to soothe her battle scarred mind.
She looked up at him through bloodshot eyes framed by dark, almost black, circles and nodded her wordless thanks as she rifled through the top left drawer of her desk for her keys. Once they were in hand she stood and pocketed her phone – her new phone because her old one had fallen down a sewer grate when she'd been tackled by a three hundred pound suspect, the second in the series of events that marked this week from hell. The most physically painful, by far, but the worst moment of the week was when she'd lost her temper with Maura.
"You going to call Maura?" Frost's voice again brought her back to the present.
She looked up at him and frowned, her eyes sad as she shook her head no. And he understood what she was thinking because she'd shared with him all the gory details of the first cataclysmic event in the week from hell. Bass and Joe had a 'play date' which was a nice way of saying that Jane had felt bad leaving Joe Friday home again when she went over to Maura's so she brought the raggedy pup along with her. Joe had been barking and hopping around Bass, one would assume she was trying to get the oversized tortoise to play, when Bass lost his temper and snapped at her. How a gigantic tortoise was actually able to catch a fairly quick little terrier she still didn't understand, but yelling at Maura about how 'her stupid turtle bit her dog who was now bleeding all over the goddamn rug' wasn't the best decision she'd ever made – she knew how much it irked Maura when she referred to Bass as a turtle.
She'd been scared. Joe was bleeding and howling something awful and she didn't know what to do so she lashed out. She lashed out, regretting the words the very moment they spilled from her lips. Her regret growing as the obvious hurt her words inflicted flashed over Maura's eyes as the blonde told Jane that she'd better take Joe to the vet to get stitched up.
The fact that Maura'd told her to take Joe to the vet was comforting because Jane was sure that if the need arose Maura could arrange a field kit for sutures from a sewing kit – although she wasn't sure if Maua had such a kit – but it tore her heart out because Maura had told her to take Joe and hadn't offered to go as well. So she left, Joe Friday cradled to her chest and bleeding all over her shirt, and ended up scared and alone at the emergency veterinary office praying that her dog would be okay and that her relationship would survive her idiotic outburst.
Twenty minutes and three stitches later Joe was fine but before Jane could go over to Maura's and grovel appropriately, her phone – her old phone with all of her favorite ring tones on it – rang and she was called out to a scene on the south end. Harvard Med School student found strangled in an alley behind a bar. She'd dropped Joe off with her mom and headed directly to the scene.
And she'd been running herself ragged ever since.
Her exhausted mind flashed through some of her less than stellar moments of the week following her idiotic loss of decorum with Maura as she thoughtlessly drove home to her apartment. Running into a florist by the scene to send Maura flowers as an attempt at an apology for her hasty words, and later ordering a pound of those imported frou-frou strawberries that she knew Bass particularly enjoyed for delivery. Staring at her phone waiting for it to ring and have Maura on the other end thanking her for the flowers and telling her that she was forgiven. Not hearing the phone ring when Maura did call because it was on her desk and she was in an interrogation room with a suspect. Not finding the voicemail until well after two in the morning and passing out at her desk halfway through dialing Maura's number.
And it went on and on.
Short messages left back and forth. First she'd be busy and then Maura would. Voicemails left while driving out to interview suspects. Voicemails received after interviews were completed.
Never making contact.
It was a week of Murphy's Law in full effect and if she could find Murphy she'd dearly love to kick her ass. And she knew Murphy was a woman because no man could ever be such an evil sadistic bitch.
She sighed as she opened her front door, her heart growing a little heavier at the absence of Joe Friday's energetic greeting – because of her unpredictable work schedule the little dog was staying with her parents while she recuperated. She kicked the door closed and wondered to herself if Joe would ever come home to her once she was better, the little dog was probably dining on chicken parm and god knows what else, she probably wouldn't ever want to leave Ma and Pop Rizzoli's.
God this week sucked.
She shrugged out of her coat and tossed it in the general direction of the coat rack, kicking off her boots and sending them flying across the room where they landed with a crack against the wall. She padded into the kitchen in her socks and opened her fridge where she stared at the contents for a few moments before closing the door with a pathetic sigh. She was hungry – starving, really – and ketchup, spoiled milk, and stale bread just weren't sounding appealing.
She stood there in the middle of her tiny kitchen and ran a tired hand through her hair as she closed her eyes in defeat, offering up a silent plea for the universe to stop kicking her ass for the next twelve hours or so. Promising to be a better person if she could just catch a break, even swearing to tone down the sarcasm at the next family dinner if just one goddamn thing could go her way for a change.
She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling, waiting for a sign – any sign, really – that her prayer had been heard. But no, there was no answer from the gods.
And she wasn't really all that surprised about it.
She padded into the bathroom, flipped on the taps, and stripped as the water warmed up. Once it was hot she climbed into the steaming shower, closing her eyes and backing into the stream, allowing the hot water to pound into her head and trail down her back. She leaned forward, resting her weight on her hands against the back wall as she let the spray beat against her lower back – staying in that position until the water began to cool and she was forced to quickly wash her hair before it turned to ice.
She pushed open the curtain and stepped out of the tub, pausing with one foot on the bathmat and one still on the porcelain at the sight of Maura leaning back against the counter with a large dove gray bath towel folded over her arm.
"Maura," Jane breathed in surprise. "Oh god M, I'm so…"
"Shh," the blonde murmured as she stepped closer and wrapped the towel around Jane's naked form. Her heart clenching in her chest as she took in her lover's ragged appearance. Frost hadn't been exaggerating when he'd called to tell her how completely beaten Jane was. "I know. Me too," she assured Jane as she wrapped her arms around her lover and pulled her in close.
They stayed there like that for minutes, just holding and being held. Giving love and soaking it in. Apologies were made with silent squeezes and nuzzling noses, and apologies were accepted just as silently; but the fact that they were offered, acknowledged, and – most importantly – accepted, was never doubted for a moment.
When Jane began to shiver slightly from the cool air hitting her wet body, Maura pulled back enough to kneel down and finish drying her. Task completed, she stood and stared into Jane's eyes, her heart breaking at the pain and exhaustion she found there.
"Come to bed Jane," she whispered against her lover's lips before closing the distance separating them and kissing her tenderly. Hoping to convey her love, her commitment, her understanding with that simple caress of lips, that gentle unhurried mingling of breaths.
Jane answered with a hesitant nod and questioning eyes, and Maura tried to allay the detective's fears with a soft eyes and a tilt of her head to indicate that she would be climbing between the sheets beside her tonight. A small lopsided smile quirked Jane's lips as she pulled the towel tighter around her shoulders and shuffled into her bedroom. She dropped the towel on the floor beside the bed and climbed in, sighing as her body was surrounded by soft jersey sheets.
Maura smiled reassuringly as she leaned down to pick up the discarded towel, pressing a soft kiss to a proud brow before she quickly ducked back down the hall to hang it up to dry. When she returned to the bedroom she found, unsurprisingly, that Jane was watching her intently. Sleepily, with a definite edge of pure exhaustion, but intently still. She smiled shyly as she began to shed her own clothes, noticing the way Jane's eyes followed each and every movement, and only once her bra and panties landed on the floor leaving her completely exposed did she climb into the bed beside her lover.
The moment Maura laid down Jane's arms enveloped her in an almost desperate embrace and a thin angular face buried itself in the crook of her neck. She let her fingers trace Jane's prominent spine, silently counting each vertebrae as her fingers passed over them, sighing happily as the brunette's lips began to softly caress her throat. She wasn't sure if the action was one of apology or arousal but Jane's need, her need for love, her need for acceptance, was clear.
"Jane," she whispered as she pulled back enough to look, really look, at the woman beside her.
"Sorry," Jane murmured, her eyes darting down in embarrassment, her fear that she'd screwed up again plainly evident in her reaction. So she was surprised when Maura's soft full lips surrounded her own and the blonde used her body to roll them over so that she was hovering above her.
Maura held herself up and stared into Jane's eyes as she ran a tender hand down the brunette's jaw. "I love you," she murmured, her thumb brushing over a sculpted cheek and her palm cradling her lover's face as she leaned in to kiss her softly.
Jane tried to speak, to reciprocate the vow, to apologize, to say any number of things that were bouncing around her mind, but was interrupted before she was able to begin with a finger on her lips and a quiet, "Shh, I know," breathed against a retreating digit before her lips were again captured in a soft adoring kiss.
She moaned softly at the gentle caress, at the feeling of Maura's body pressing into her own. The reassuring weight. The softness. The curves that fit so perfectly against her own. Her hands roamed Maura's full back, slowly tracing up and down in time with the gentle thrusting caress of the blonde's tongue against her own.
When the kiss had run its course and breathing once again became necessary, Maura rested her forehead against Jane's and stared into her lover's darkened eyes as she reached behind herself to take hold of Jane's left hand and move it up above the brunette's head, conveying with a look that she wished for it to stay there before repeating the movement and repositioning Jane's right hand in a similar manner.
"Just feel," Maura murmured, her lips brushing against Jane's as she spoke. "Just feel me love you."
Jane sucked her lower lip between her teeth and bit down gently upon it as she nodded her understanding, a quiet moan tumbling from her lips as Maura began slowly kissing over her cheek and down her throat. She turned her head to the side, offering the blonde beauty more skin to devour, to consume.
She laid there, unmoving, accepting each adoring kiss laid upon her body. Her heart hearing and believing the reassurances and silent promises that each caress conveyed with perfect clarity. When Maura paused at her chest and began slowly tracing her tongue around her right breast, she moved her right wrist into her left hand to hold them where Maura wanted them. Her grip flexing and contracting around her arm as Maura's tongue began spiraling around the circumference of the mound, higher and higher until she was drawing tight circles around a rapidly hardening tip. Her need escaped on a hiss when Maura's mouth finally covered her and suckled gently. Teasing with her tongue, flicking, sucking, bringing the nipple to a rigid point before backing off to blow gently across it in parting and shifting her body to pay identical attention to Jane's other breast.
"I love you," Jane whispered as Maura pressed a languid kiss to the valley between her breasts, at the spot she imagined to be directly above her heart.
"I know," Maura looked up and smiled. Her eyes softening, assuring Jane that she knew even as her lips repeated the vow, "I love you."
Jane sucked a deep breath in through her teeth as Maura began moving down her body. Down past her ribs, down over her abs, pausing to dip and exploratory tongue into her navel. Down, slowly down, skin sliding against skin in a glorious stimulating silken friction. She spread her legs wider, cradling Maura's body between her thighs as the blonde's kisses crested her hip and slid down over her inner thigh. She jumped when dull teeth nipped playfully at the sensitive flesh, moaned loudly as hot breath danced over her needy core.
"I do love you Jane," Maura murmured as she settled more fully between her lover's legs.
Tears sprang to Jane's eyes at the words, the words she'd so desperately needed to hear after the hellish week she'd had.
"So much," Maura affirmed as she lowered her mouth to Jane's lips and kissed the sensitive flesh tenderly.
The tender touch and the verbal reassurances that she was indeed loved combined to force the tears that had built in Jane's eyes to spill over, slowly coursing down her cheeks as Maura, the woman she loved, the woman who meant more to her than anyone or anything in the world loved her. Loved her with languid kisses and slow luxurious licks. Probing gently at her opening before sliding up to flick against her sensitive point. Every touch deliberate and unhurried. Every stroke lightly pushing her that much closer to the edge.
Maura's gentle caresses lovingly guided her higher and higher. Slowly, tenderly, higher until she reached the edge and fell, her release rolling through her in a series of gentle, therapeutic, healing waves not at all dissimilar from the love Maura had given her.
Maura stayed nestled between her lover's legs until the final gentle spasm ceased. She pressed one last gentle kiss to those sensitive lips before sliding back up Jane's body, once again pausing above the brunette's heart to press a promise of a kiss to the smooth skin above it before moving up higher still to claim her lover's lips in a searing soul deep kiss, moaning softly as Jane's arms moved from their position above the brunette's head to hold her tight.
"I love you," Jane whispered against Maura's lips when the blonde pulled away.
"I know," Maura assured her lover, kissing her one last time before sliding down inside the brunette's strong comforting embrace. She tucked her head in under Jane's chin and pressed one last kiss to the gentle swell of a modest breast, breathing deep the smell of her lover, luxuriating in the sound of the heart beating under her ear as she swore, "I love you too."
The End