DISCLAIMER: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all the slayerettes belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I did change genders in the song. AU obviously. Sunnydale still exists. Anya is still alive. Enjoy some holiday Buffy and Willow fluff. We all need a little fluff in our lives.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
FEEDBACK: To slaymaster415[at]gmail.com
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
By wiffyscoob
I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
She didn't see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep;
She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep.
Then, I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white;
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Momma had only seen
I Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night.
"Okay, there you go, Alex; all nice and tucked in with Rupert Bear."
The blonde woman kissed her daughter's forehead, and began to rise from the bed, before little Alexandria Summers placed a tiny hand on the powerful arm that so valiantly slew the baddies in Sunnydale.
Except for Uncle Angel, that is.
"I want Momma to come read me a story." The little redhead pouted.
"I know you do, but Momma…uh…is helping Uncle Xander. Now close your eyes and go to sleep. Only good little girls get presents from Santa if they sleep, and let their Mommies sleep, too."
The blonde mother ran her hand over her daughter's face, and the little girl's eyes closed.
For about 3 seconds.
"Can't I stay up, and wait for Santa Claus?"
But Alex's plea fell on deaf ears as the exasperated mother sighed.
"No, you can't. Now go to sleep. Santa doesn't visit unless you sleep. Besides, the sooner you fall asleep, the faster Christmas will come."
"Really?" The little girl's hazel eyes grew wide in wonder.
"Really." The mother affirmed, and kissed her daughter on the cheek. Rising from the bed, Alex's mother walked to the doorway, and flipped off the switch. "Good night, Alex."
"Good night, Mommy." The little redhead put Rupert Bear's small plastic glasses on her little nightstand, and snuggled close to her favorite stuffed animal. Alexandria closed her hazel eyes, but try as she might, sleep just wouldn't come. All she could think about was Santa bringing her fondest wish: a puppy.
Alex glanced at the clock. It was only 8:30. Santa doesn't come until midnight. The little girl just had to stay awake, and see Santa to make sure he brought her a puppy. She had sent him a letter to the North Pole and everything.
Momma knew her fondest wish, and said Santa might grant her the wish, if she continued being such a good girl. So everyday the young redhead made sure to put away her toys and books, do her homework, and eat all her vegetables, even if they were icky.
Alex had even stopped trying to hack her way into any more government agencies. She didn't think Momma would be too happy about that. Especially after Momma had found out the young redhead had hacked her way into the DMV to get Mommy a real driver's license as a surprise birthday gift. Momma said there was a reason why Mommy wasn't allowed to drive. Alex could never figure out what that reason was. The one time Mommy had driven her to school, Mommy only drove onto the school's curb, and had just barely hit a car's bumper. It wasn't her Mommy's fault that the car alarm had gone off and the new principal, Mr. Snyder Jr., ran out to see what had happened, and had called the police. Besides, Momma and Grandpa Rupert were able to fix everything so Mommy didn't have to go to jail.
Sighing, the girl tried to stay awake, but her little hazel eyes betrayed her and she fell into a deep sleep.
Suddenly a loud noise woke Alex and her eyes popped open in excitement. The young redhead looked at her alarm clock: 11:59 p.m.
Oh, my gosh! Santa's almost here!
Silently the little girl slowly opened the door, not wanting Mommy to catch her. Peeking out the door, her Mommy was nowhere in sight. Alex breathed a sigh of relief.
She could hear the noise coming from downstairs. Her little heart filled with joy at the thought that Santa was here.
"Ho! Ho! Ho! Santa Claus is here bearing gifts for all of the beautiful girls who live in this lovely, furnished home with a gift of a new iPhone4 for Santa… because after all, Santa is very busy…even if Santa is Jewish… and, well, there is no Apple Store nearby where Santa lives...not Sunnydale, cuz obviously Santa lives at the North Pole…and her wife…I mean, his wife works right next to the Apple Store..."
Gosh, Santa babbles almost as much as Momma!
Suddenly the babble stopped, and all Alex could hear were some humming noises…and moaning?
The little girl stealthily raced to the banister, scrunching down so she wouldn't be seen. Her hazel eyes opened wide in shock when she saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus under the mistletoe!
Suddenly, Mommy stopped kissing Santa and tickled him under his very snowy white beard. "Mmmm, my, my, my. I never knew Santa was such a good kisser!"
Santa replied in his deep voice. "Well, I save all my kisses for only sexy blonde Slayers!"
Alex's mouth dropped open in astonishment as Mommy continued to place small kisses on Santa's neck, with Santa moaning in approval. "Hmm...well, my Jewish Santa, maybe you can show this sexy blonde Slayer more than kisses later on."
Alex couldn't help it. A small "eep!" sprang forth from her mouth. Mommy heard though, coz she has super Slayer hearing. Alex ran back to her room as fast as her little legs could carry her. She grabbed Rupert Bear, and hid underneath the covers, wondering if Santa kissed everybody's mommy underneath the mistletoe.
Boy, if Momma had only seen…cuz, gosh! Momma mad was even scarier than spending the day with Aunt Anya!
Meanwhile, Downstairs
"Oh, shit!" Buffy turned around to see a little redheaded tornado scrambling to get back to her room.
"Buffy!" 'Santa' admonished. "Now what if Alex heard you use that kind of language?"
Buffy threw her lover a dirty look. "Wills, I don't think that matters right now, as we probably just scarred our daughter for life with her mommy making out with Santa Claus!"
Willow removed her 'beard', hat and the large pillow stuffed under her jacket. The redhead frowned, now becoming worried. "Okay...maybe you have a point there," she conceded. "Well, what do think we should tell her? I mean, I was kinda hoping to continue the whole 'Santa' thing for awhile…cuz…well, I feel like Santa is more like, ya know, secular…well, at least now…cuz it used to be St. Nick …which is religious but…yeah…not anymore…and we still light the menorah which is of the good-"
Buffy planted a deep kiss on the Jewish Santa's lips. As she stepped back, a glazed look radiated from her wife's eyes and a goofy grin spread across Willow's face. The redhead issued a faint, happy cheer in a daze. "Hurray for Christmas! Woo hoo for Christmas!"
Buffy smirked. "Willow, we have been married for 8 years. I know the real reason you babble is just so I will kiss you to shut you up!" Willow smiled sheepishly, and Buffy became serious again. "So, you or me?" The blonde crossed her arms and posed in her 'Slayer stance' that Willow knew all too well. The situation definitely did not bode well for our redheaded Jewish Santa!
Willow, startled out of her Buffy coma, replied with the oh so-clever, "Huh?"
Buffy held firm. "Which one of us is gonna tell her about Santa being fake?"
Willow tried to wiggle her way out of it. "Well, uh…you were the one kissing Santa, Buff. Not me."
Buffy just glared at her wife, and quirked an eyebrow.
"Okay, okay," Willow sighed, resignedly. The redhead did not like that look on her wife's face. If she didn't fix this fast, there wouldn't be any nookie for a Jewish Santa tonight!
And then it hit her. "Ooh! Ooh! Got idea! Really, great idea!"
The Slayer's patience was running thin. "Spit it out, Wills."
"See, we can say the real Santa was already here and gave his permission for me to dress up like him." Buffy looked skeptical. Willow saw this and with a grin quickly added, "And we can give her, her wish tonight." A small whimper came from Willow's red Santa bag.
Buffy relaxed slightly, uncrossing her arms. A ghost of a smile crossed her lips at the sound of the tiny cry. "Went to Xander's and picked her up, huh?"
Willow reached inside the large bag to pull out a tiny Jack Russell terrier. "Yup. And look, with a red bow and everything!" The redheaded Jewish Santa was very excited.
"Hmmm. Well, you do know that Jack Russells have a tendency to be pretty spazzy, right? Don't you think our daughter is spazzy enough without a Jack Russell adding to the mix?"
Willow gave her wife a pout. "But they're so cute!" Willow proceeded to shower the puppy's furry head with many tiny kisses.
The blonde's face scrunched up in mild disapproval at her wife's antics. "Okay, Willow, you do realize that you are going to have to brush your teeth before I kiss you again."
Willow's emerald eyes twinkled. "Just wait until we give our daughter her puppy, and then Santa will brush her teeth as much as you want, so I can give my sexy blonde Slayer her present." Willow finished with a wink and an impish grin.
Buffy's disapproval morphed into the sexy smile that always made Willow's heart race. "Really?"
As the blonde made her way seductively to the redhead, Willow's breathing became very labored. "Yes, present…sex, sexy present…yeah."
The Slayer stopped just inches from Willow, who was now on the verge of fainting from Buffy sensory overload. Buffy seemed to all of a sudden take notice of the sprig above them. "Why, look?" the blonde said in mock innocence. "What is that I see up above? I believe it's mistletoe." Buffy slowly caressed the beardless face of Jewish Santa. Leaning in further, she whispered conspiratorially, "Before we go upstairs, I think this sexy blonde Slayer needs another kiss from Santa."
Eagerly, Willow placed the puppy on the floor. She was very happy that Buffy had apparently decided to forego her earlier threat of not kissing Willow on the mouth before the brushing of teeth took place.
Willow rose to place a heated kiss upon the blonde's lips. Hands began to roam, and the blonde squeezed Santa's red costumed posterior. As roaming led to moaning, Willow was suddenly very glad their daughter was back upstairs.
Breathing heavily, each pulled away, foreheads touching. "Will, we are sooo not taking down that mistletoe!"
"Darn tootin'!" Willow's smile faded a bit. "Well, when Xander comes over we should…Giles, too… cuz EWW…and Dawn…well, everyone…especially Anya… I so don't want to kiss Anya, and-"
Buffy did the only thing that could truly stop Willow-babble; she kissed the redhead senseless.
And it was a very merry Christmas indeed.
The End